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DOTW - 16th December 2012

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-Raz-

IF-Rockerz

-Raz-

Joined: 19 June 2009

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Posted: 15 December 2012 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
Hello everyone.
Its Razia again Big smile - the very much silent member on the forums.

My discussion is fairly general. Considering what happened on today's mahaepisode I had a basic well very general topic to discuss on and was really was really wondering what to write.
Anyways,I'm really happy and upset on how CVS are handling this track
1. Night college that too filled with random lying
2. Hiding from bhabo = more problems in the future.
Anyway my basic discussion question is:
should they really do this behind Bhabo's back?
I know they was no other solution from Suraj and they didn't intend to hide such from Bhabo as this was thier last choice.
But will SurYa be successful in such doings for an entire year or they will be caught and drama will happen for years.
You know there is a saying from the older folk that by starting wrong they is a high risk for failure.(I'm sorry I can't remember the exact saying I'm just giving it on my own words) bit before jumping on this point on mine think and and ask your self if they are not starting wrongfully!
Please have a healthy discussion ...
No offence meant. Will be BA k to have a proper discussion with you
I have not yet place my opinion here will discuss with you all.
Razia

PS: I'm usuing my phone so will edit this discussion properly..sorry for he extreme short colorless topic

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SAIBALROUTH

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Posted: 15 December 2012 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
I do not quite accept this decision of hiding the education from Bhabo as it would lead to problems in future for sure. Bhabo will surely consider it as a breach of trust and Sandhya will lose the trust and faith of Bhabo which she earned through hard work and selfless love for other family members. Bhabo will be hart-broken and would blame SurYa afterwards for anything that goes wrong in the house. CVs purposefully did this for dramatic purpose, so that they can give us tensed moments but this will cause more harm than good for SurYa in future. Also, there was no option apart from this, save for one golden blackmailing chance, as Sandhya would have lost one year, and Bhabo wasn't even ready to hear anything about education, I guess Suraj had to do it keeping in mind the future aspects of Sandhya.

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UMDU

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Posted: 15 December 2012 at 10:21pm | IP Logged
Nice question. I had taken out a thread a few days back ' Unrealistic Portrayal' in which I had vehemently argued against this hiding. I had also emphasised on the unrealistic showing of somebody leaving every night without any one knowing in a joint family. Not telling Bhabo was the biggest blunder Suraj made. He could have blackmailed his mother instead of Sandhya. Bhabo was desperate to stop him from signing the contract. The love for her son would have made her concede. Sandhya could have studied in peace. Neither Suraj blackmailed his mother nor Sandhya told Bhabo , so two missed opportunities.  With so much going on everyday can anyone study ? The trust which Sandhya took a year to build up will be destroyed in seconds. However in my thread I was told one should not look for too much realism in serials. Serials are meant for entertainment and this stand has been taken by CVs to ensure future aangan dramas. I consoled myself thinking atleast we will see some SurYa moments in the track.  If you give an unrealistic presentation in episodes you cannot inspire the traditional audience. A conservative man may be uneducated or less educated but he will know what he can emulate and get inspired with and what is just to be watched and forgotten. Now in this track DABH is neither realistic, so it cannot inspire nor entertaining as it hardly has any SurYa moments so what are the CVs aiming at.  To inspire or entertain ? The serial a few months back appeared so promising. I used to watch many of the scenes again and again. Now I fast forward. I really hope the CVs realise  what they are doing.

Edited by UMDU - 16 December 2012 at 1:05am

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-Raz-

IF-Rockerz

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Posted: 15 December 2012 at 11:04pm | IP Logged
@ umdu I am also fast-forwarding now...will discuss in a bit

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Posted: 16 December 2012 at 9:52pm | IP Logged
Good discussion topic Razia! Star

Here's my take on things: Judging whether a given human behaviour is right or wrong depends largely on the context. In general, we say that stealing is wrong. But what if a person, living in a corrupt society riddled with social inequalities, and being mistreated by his employer, steals food from the market in order to survive; we might not be so quick to judge this behaviour as wrong.
 
Coming to SurYa, Razia has rightly said that starting off on the wrong foot can jeopardize one's success down the road. But how did SurYa start their pursuit of happiness? From what I remember, they both decided to approach Bhabho and have an honest discussion. And we all remember Suraj's convincing and respectful speech to Bhabho as he sat under the soon-to-be shattered water pitcher! In that same scene, Bhabho had said that she was willing to even go against god to deny Suraj's request! Shocked (this has to be the height of stubbornness). I guess what I'm trying to say is that SurYa did follow the right way, but that didn't get them anywhere.
 
Now, they were left with two choices: continue to convince Bhabho or move ahead on their own in their pursuit of happiness. (forgetting the dream was not really an option). Again they decided to choose the more right option of trying to convince Bhabho. The next day, Suraj told Bhabho that he will continue to hope that she will change her decision. It can be argued that Suraj didn't try hard enough to convince Bhabho, but we should also realize that Bhabho was on the attack. She very cleverly went after Sandhya and convinced her to give up her dream. And when Suraj found this out, he knew he was dealt a heavy blow and was on the brink of defeat.
 
Now, they were again left with two choices: fight back and get Bhabho to agree or move ahead on their own. The first option would mean Suraj fighting on two fronts: first, to convince Sandhya to lend her support, and second, to fight back against Bhabho (who really meant it when she said that even god can't get her to change her decision). Suraj must've rightly thought this to be a lost cause. How can Suraj win in this fight? Bhabho had already taken away his greatest strength, Sandhya. Blackmailing Bhabho was more likely to fail, as Bhabho was much more tactical than Suraj had thought. (we are also aware that in the past, Bhabho was more successful in blackmailing Suraj; so trying to blackmail her is risky business). Keeping all this in mind, and still choosing to stay the course could have seriously jeopardized Sandhya's dream. From Suraj's POV, it would've been an irresponsible thing to do. So he chose to move ahead on their own. Given the context, I for one, can't find sufficient reason to blame SurYa for their decision. They chose the best and the safest of the two options.
 
I am actually enjoying this track because it's not a white and black situation. Good vs. evil is often the subject of many stories, but for me, the stories with grey in it are much more entertaining, as they are more realistic. We rarely find in our lives decisions that are as clear cut as black and white. More often, the important decisions in our lives require us to choose between two options that are neither completely right nor completely wrong.
 
Okay okay ... I will stop my bhashan now! If such a long post doesn't get the discussion going, I don't know what will! LOL

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Posted: 17 December 2012 at 3:56am | IP Logged
What if Suraj would tell to bhabo that ok we cant make her an IPS but let her just study n complete her graduation...!!! Well I think after some no no bhabo would agree...!!! Chhavi is also studying so at least a girl who is studying is not that shocking for bhabo...!!! Bhabo didn't let Sandy cause she wants to be an IPS, only graduation is not her aim...
So why I am telling all these...!!! Cause what Surya ia doing now is not that scary and anti-traditional for bhabo...!!! IPS thing is much more hard to digest for her which SurYa wont be able to do hide from bhabo...!!! So what then??? What option they have if bhabo wont agree then?? One option is going rudely against bhabo n another make her understand...!!! But they r destroying two options from now...!!! The guilt they will have when bhabo will get hurt because of their hiding now... wont let them go against bhabo rudely...!!! And one day bhabo will understand Sandy's dream--- this option is also ruined because of the deception bhabo is getting..!!! SurYa is not thinking about the future consequences n their ultimate aim which is making Sandy IPS not graduation only...!!!
Yap... being a graduate is a big thing... But is it worth for Sandy if she cant become an IPS...!!! If it was then of course their decision was justified cause hiding or whatever... she became an graduate at least..!!! But she once told it will more hurtful if she graduates n cant become an IPS which actually disappointed me cause study is an asset itself u choose to make a career or not...!!!! Approve So to ease their present they r making unimaginable trouble for future...!!! I would go against bhabo n wouldn't care much about what she says if I was Sandy but as per SurYa's humbleness... I suggest they should have waited n keep trying to convince bhabo... A year lost of Sandy wouldn't hurt much than the upcoming troubles she is gonna get...!!! Lost of trust, blame of lying etc etc...!!!

There r two types of lying... One is like if I wanna go to a picnic for example.. I am lying to my mom that I am going to study with my friend...!!! When my mom will know about the truth she is gonna be hurt, will scold me n all that but I already enjoyed my picnic... So I should not care much...!!!Embarrassed
Another type is  though I am failing, I am saying that I am getting good grades just to avoid her scold but when she will know... Double scold for failing n deceiving n also I was in tension like hell during these days thinking always what will happen when she will know...!!! Ouch
SurYa's lie is second type...!!! Approve

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UMDU

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Posted: 17 December 2012 at 5:53am | IP Logged
I would like to get into this discussion again. If Suraj  continues with this facade of taking Sandhya secretly to college at night everyday, does he honestly believe he can carry on without discovery for a year. Two days of college have lead to innumerable question answering at home and several dramatic incidents.  Monday has Mohit's question to be answered.  Once caught what is to stop Bhabo from asking Sandhya to withdraw from college. In the aangan drama which will follow either Suraj puts his foot down and says his wife will study. In which case Bhabo may in anger stop talkng to him or ask him to move out. There also either you defy or withdraw from college. Don't you think it would have been better to blackmail her now and make her agree. Strike the iron when it is hot. In the second situation you hurt Sandhya more if she is asked to withdraw. As you have given her hope and taken it away from her. Otherwise if you support Sandhya you hurt Bhabo so deeply that you will not be able to live with that guilt. Emotional blackmail before contract signing would have done the trick without hurting both the parties too much. I feel it was a missed opportunity.

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Posted: 17 December 2012 at 6:15am | IP Logged
Nice topic for discussion Razia.
 
Here in DABH, both Bhabho and Suraj are right.  I pity Sandya for having caught between them and had to hide things from Bhabho.
 
Bhabho is forthright in her opinion though she is wrong to not consider others point of view.  She is authoritative and has said she would even go against God's wishes in this case.
 
Suraj is totally wrong in what he is doing now.  He has not thought over the consequences nor a course of action to follow through his plan to secret studies.  He just wants to fulfil Sandhya's dream without a well thought out plan and this is so unlikely of Suraj's character or his mature ways of handling family problems.
 
Agree with Uma that he could have tried blackmailing Bhabho at the time of signing contract OR he could have tried other ways of convincing Bhabho like he could have confronted Bhabho once he got to know that she has been manipulating Sandhya in the name of duties of a daughter-in-law.  Suraj could have also used Bhabho's fear of Chavvi failing in third year to convince her to allow Sandhya to complete final year.
 
Suraj seems to be very confident that he could manage when this truth comes out but we all know Bhabho.

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