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lostmymusic.

IF-Sizzlerz

lostmymusic.

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17929

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 11:11am | IP Logged
A/N - Mood is shit right now. Had to vent. Had to make someone read this. Might not make any sense at all but do forgive me. Anyone who's read "Peer-e-Kamil" will know what this is about. It's more like a fanfiction but I didn't know where to post it so...please do forgive me.

***

Love is pain.

Distance is hell.

Life like this is agony.

And he is addicted to it.

Sometimes he thought he has stopped living in reality and has embraced the delusional world completely. Where else would he get to see her so close to him and so at peace. In reality, she did slap him the first time she saw him. She did threaten to shoot him if he dared crossed the line. She had begged him to leave her and he hadn't obliged. And she was gone...

Now she thought he was dead. And he thought it as well. Well, he wasn't exactly alive. Breathing 24x7 was no proof that someone was alive. He died everyday, over and over again.

He got up in the morning, went to work, worked like his life depended on it, made a name for himself, got praises from everyone who met him, his good deeds made people pray for him...he finished his day, went back home in the dark night and he died.

She wasn't there.

But she was there.

He wasn't alive...

...so why wasn't he dead yet?

Now that he had no hope that she'd ever be his, why was he still alive? No, he shouldn't be thinking such things. He had to live. He had no right to finish his life. No...his life belonged to someone else. Not her, who was, he knew, happy to hear about his death but to Him, the One who created him. No...he won't disappoint Him again, not again. He had made a promise...and he had been fulfilling in for the past 7 years.

But he yearned for her, yearned for a miracle. Yearned, not only to just meet her and know that she was alright but yearned to touch her, feel her, possess her...forget the world in her arms. Keep her so close that she would never leave him.

Wow, ultimately he turned out to be a human, eh?

All those times when he tried to commit suicide, all those years ago, just to know what came next to ecstasy...he thought he had changed. He thought he had outgrown his phase of being an immature person with a 150+ IQ. But he was still stuck there.

Reason had changed, he had found his answer when he realized that he had lost her but the process got repeated. First, he did by jumping in front of oncoming cars, jumping down a bridge in the cold water, cutting the vein of his wrist...now he did it otherwise.

He breathed.

And he died.

Everyday.

The following 10 member(s) liked the above post:

...mano...havokhotlineCoffeeAddictTheBratIndigoBluesChaiBiskootAmeresThe.Patthaaka.-Ocean.eyes-Leve

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CoffeeAddict

IF-Dazzler

CoffeeAddict

Joined: 23 August 2009

Posts: 3529

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 11:18am | IP Logged
You need to get out of this angst phase of yours. Though you write brilliantly while in it, I'm just worried about you...

It's heart touching. I read something like this a few days back. Got reminded of it. that was also a fanfiction. For an American show.

You write really well. And especially where my favorite parts are concerned the one line paragraphs and the 3-4 word lines!!

Brilliant!!

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

lostmymusic.

CutielovesChocs

IF-Dazzler

CutielovesChocs

Joined: 31 March 2008

Posts: 4735

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 11:24am | IP Logged
As I said to Pree. 

Are you mad or are you mad!? Kya hai yeh!?!?????! At least WARN toh karna tha! I was feeling this leeetaal sinking waali feeling in my tummy. And when I read the end, I was cursing you SO bad. 

Because this is beautifully written. It's so heart-breaking. Every single word, just cuts the wound deeper. Angsty, yes, but beautiful. 

Aaand now I'm sad. 

You're evil. You know that?! 

'

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

lostmymusic.

lostmymusic.

IF-Sizzlerz

lostmymusic.

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17929

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 11:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by CoffeeAddict

You need to get out of this angst phase of yours. Though you write brilliantly while in it, I'm just worried about you...

It's heart touching. I read something like this a few days back. Got reminded of it. that was also a fanfiction. For an American show.

You write really well. And especially where my favorite parts are concerned the one line paragraphs and the 3-4 word lines!!

Brilliant!!


I outta my phase now LOL But had to VENT! Writing is the easiest form of venting for me...felt like writing after ages. And you tou are always concerned about me in my angst phase TongueEmbarrassed

I swear I did not copy kisi ka idea Stern Smile

Yeah, was in my signature style. It's the most comfortable for me that's why the most...errr...working? Tongue

Thanks Biwi! :3

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

CoffeeAddict

lostmymusic.

IF-Sizzlerz

lostmymusic.

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17929

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 11:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by CutielovesChocs

As I said to Pree. 

Are you mad or are you mad!? Kya hai yeh!?!?????! At least WARN toh karna tha! I was feeling this leeetaal sinking waali feeling in my tummy. And when I read the end, I was cursing you SO bad. 

Because this is beautifully written. It's so heart-breaking. Every single word, just cuts the wound deeper. Angsty, yes, but beautiful. 

Aaand now I'm sad. 

You're evil. You know that?! 

'


Ae behen, maine kya kiya? LOL

Curse kiya? Shocked Well, in my defense miss WhiteDeception/JungleeJawani Lawyer, I was in a pretty shitty mood while writing this. Angst to be exact. I saw that you were online that's why made you read...ab mujhe kya pata tha tujhe itna effect hoga LOL

Don't be sad!

I am evil and I know it Cool

..Ankita..

IF-Rockerz

..Ankita..

Joined: 19 June 2012

Posts: 5176

Posted: 15 December 2012 at 12:33am | IP Logged
Wow, if this is how you write in an off mood, you should feel off more often.
Sorry, I'm being saddistic..but this piece is so bloody brilliant, I can't help but be a little selfish!

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

lostmymusic.

TheBrat

IF-Dazzler

Joined: 28 May 2010

Posts: 4536

Posted: 15 December 2012 at 1:31am | IP Logged
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havokhotline

Goldie

havokhotline

Joined: 17 May 2009

Posts: 1264

Posted: 15 December 2012 at 3:27am | IP Logged
This is pure sheer genius.

I am in awe of your writing. Angst to the very core and portrayed almost effortlessly. :)

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lostmymusic.

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