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mayyo IF-Sizzlerz
mayyo
mayyo

Joined: 26 July 2011
Posts: 12142

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 2:47pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheBrat

You took me there, through the tour of the house. You made me see him growing up, messing with his sister, cribbing about veggies, touching each thing, each memory as he passed every room that held millions of memories of time that flew by. It was damned realistic, if you don't know that already. It also tugs on heart strings, giving a feeling of nostalgia. The same feelings you'd get when you visit a place which was a part of your life few years ago, like an old school of yours, visited after a long time. Awwh! And the end, could it be any more better? A perfect reunion with a perfect end in parent's embrace. Aww <3

Sometimes the memories are strong enough to make you feel nostalgic and actually relive them. I tried to keep it as realistic as possible without destroying the feel of it. I'm happy to know that I was successful! Smile

Thanks for being here, Shikha! Hug

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kaamchorniTheBrat

mayyo IF-Sizzlerz
mayyo
mayyo

Joined: 26 July 2011
Posts: 12142

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 2:48pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tes_v1

So you posted it, at last! Good job, Miriam. =)

Keep writing and keep posting. We're here to read.

Cheers!
-T

Thank you, T! I'll try to post some more. Smile

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tes_v1

mayyo IF-Sizzlerz
mayyo
mayyo

Joined: 26 July 2011
Posts: 12142

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by had2bu

Beautifully written Mariam!  Wishes some of us have to go back to those arms again!  Loved it.
 
Happy Birthday again!

Thank you Avi! For the birthday wishes as well as commenting! Smile I'm glad you like it.

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had2bu

mayyo IF-Sizzlerz
mayyo
mayyo

Joined: 26 July 2011
Posts: 12142

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by kaamchorni

Reading this, I was him.

This child, who played and teased and laughed.

This boy, who cribbed and grew and indulged.

This man, who left, who returned and who has now finally been set free.

I was all of these people. I felt as if I was coming home.

There's a heaviness at the start of the piece, as if the nostalgia that had acquired had started to weigh him down. And then slowly, very slowly and very gently, it began to dissipate. The further into the heart of the house, the lighter he - and his life and his house in my mind's eye - became. It was all leading up to somewhere and someone and when those two someones appeared, I became apprehensive. I got that feeling that you described...the 'what if the key doesn't work?' feeling. What if they don't welcome him home? What if their response brings the heaviness back? What will he (what will I) do?

But parents never disappoint.

A beautiful piece, Mayonnaise, and one amongst many more to come, I hope.

Z, when I wrote it, I was him. It's really good to know that I could actually make you feel and live his journey through the house! Embarrassed

@BOLD: I don't really know yet. Maybe, maybe not! Big smile

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kaamchorniTheBrat

mayyo IF-Sizzlerz
mayyo
mayyo

Joined: 26 July 2011
Posts: 12142

Posted: 13 December 2012 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sanu3108

beautiful

Thank you! Embarrassed
kaamchorni Goldie
kaamchorni
kaamchorni

Joined: 08 August 2011
Posts: 1199

Posted: 14 December 2012 at 2:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by mayyo13

@BOLD: I don't really know yet. Maybe, maybe not! Big smile
 
Tease Ouch

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TheBratmayyo

mayyo IF-Sizzlerz
mayyo
mayyo

Joined: 26 July 2011
Posts: 12142

Posted: 14 December 2012 at 2:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by kaamchorni

Originally posted by mayyo13

@BOLD: I don't really know yet. Maybe, maybe not!Big smile

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Tease Ouch


Ha ha! LOL No really, this one took a lot of courage to post. And like I said, it was on the insistence of a few people. I don't know if I'll post anything more. Big smile

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kaamchorniTheBrat

Loquacious_Aash IF-Stunnerz
Loquacious_Aash
Loquacious_Aash

Joined: 21 November 2010
Posts: 34304

Posted: 14 December 2012 at 10:53am | IP Logged
And WHY teh hell dont i know about this?Unhappy


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mayyo

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