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Tumko Dekha Toh.. PG 71 note (Page 2)

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jineejiggs

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jineejiggs

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Posted: 12 December 2012 at 3:51am | IP Logged
Concept badi fresh hain, loved the poems, yes plz do continue, somewhere am having the feeling that it would be simple and pure mature love story like BALH

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nehaprasad1994

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lalmadhu

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lalmadhu

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Posted: 12 December 2012 at 4:03am | IP Logged
Wow...Amazing Reading ur ff is like walking in sea breeze it simply takes me to another world  love ur writing Please continue soon

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nehaprasad1994

RaYaKapoor

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Posted: 12 December 2012 at 5:04am | IP Logged
U are definately continuing... No questions on that...

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nehaprasad1994

jatre

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Posted: 12 December 2012 at 5:30am | IP Logged
very nice start.plz continue soonBig smile

priyankapatwa

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priyankapatwa

Joined: 27 February 2010

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Posted: 12 December 2012 at 5:37am | IP Logged
I liked I liked
its so beautiful
priya in a different role den teacher
I really liked this new concept
do continue

d shayari was really touching


xoxo Priyanka <3

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nehaprasad1994

Mahaalwayscool

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Posted: 12 December 2012 at 6:30am | IP Logged
nice1.. continue sooon

nehaprasad1994

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nehaprasad1994

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Posted: 12 December 2012 at 7:09am | IP Logged
Continued..

Priya goes and sits on her bed.. Looking at the diary.. Thinking ajeeb insaan hai.. When i was speaking all he did was smile.. Aur ek hi min mein itna gussa kiya media pe.. And the next moment Karthik aur apni behen keliye itna pyaar..   Strange..

Karthik comes in..
Karthik: Di.. Aap bhi kamaal karthi ho.. Apne janam din pe bhi kaam..
Priya: Smiles thinking of how Ram wanted to buy her house.. Karthik: kaha kho gayi aap.. Yeh lijiye..
Gives family portrait of Sudhir Shipra Priya and Karthik..
Priya: bohot pyaari hai.. Ma papa tumhaari dulhan ke liye saadiyaan lene Amritsar gaye hai..
Karthik: Pata hai.. Papa ne phon kiya tha.. Aap kabhi toh apne aap ke baarein mein sochiye di.. Chalo aap sojaao..
Priya: Tum bhi so jaao.. Kal bohot saara kaam hai..
Karthik leaves..
Priya's phone rings..
Priya: Haan papa boliye..
Sudhir: Kya beta.. Aaj pehele hume bhagadiya aur phir kaam shuru kardiya..
Priya: Chodiye papa.. Aap kal che bhaje aarahe ho na?
Sudhir: Haan.. Kal woh sab aarahe hai toh shayad usse bhi jaldi pohounchjaayenge..
Priya: Tik hai papa.. Rakhthi hu..
Priya thinking.. Aaj Mr. Kapoor ka bhi janam din tha.. Wish karna hi bhul gayi..
She lies down.. And soon doses off to sleep..

In KM:

Ram enters..
Krisna: Kya hua Ram.. Tum Architect ke ghar kyu gaya tha?
Ram: Ma woh actually Karthik ka ghar hai..
Nutz: Bhai! Wow thankyou.. Waise yeh aap aur Karthik ka Di kuch kaam disscuss kar rahe the kya..
Ram scratches his temple.. Haan woh..
Nutz and Krishna look at each other and smile..
Krishna: Tik hai tu so jaa.. Kal subah jaldi unka ghar jaana hai..
Ram goes to his room changes and stands in the balcony..
Ram thinking.. Ajeeb hai.. Kabhi gussa nahi karthi.. He closes his eyes.. Thinks uski aankein.. Uski muskaan.. Aur itna aacha likthi bhi hai.. How can a woman be so gifted.. He thinks.. I thin mujhe woh naya office ka project unko dena chahiye.. She will do an excellent job.. All the flashes of her house come in front of his eyes.. Thinks.. Kash woh ghar mera hota.. He remembers that it was her birthday too.. He smiles thinking.. Karthik ne apne di ka number diya tha.. Shall call and wish her.. Looks at the clock.. Its 11.55..
Without giving a second thought he calls..
Priya: Kaun?
A smile light his face..
Ram: Mein Ram bolraha hu..
Priya:Thinking.. Itni raat ko.. Ji kahiye..
Ram: Woh mein aapko wish karna bhulgaya tha.. Happy birthday..
Priya: Smiles.. Happy birthday to you too..
Ram: Aur maafi bhi maangni thi aapse.. Woh aapki kitaab mein..
Priya: Meine pada.. Aap bhi accha likthe hai..
There is so much comfort in their conversation..
Ram: Aaj aapse milke bohot accha laga.. I have never seen someone so calm..
Priya: Smiles.. Aap kuch zyada hi gussa karthe hai nahi?
Ram: Smiling.. Haan sorry about that..
Priya: Hmm.. Toh kal milthe hai.. Good night.
Ram: Ji good night..
Both of them smile.. And go to bed..

Its about 4.00 in the morning..

In Sharma Manshion:

Priya gets up an gets ready.. Wearing a simple purple saree.. And minimal jewellary..
Ram is wearing a black tux.. Looking as much a bussiness man as he always does.. But today he has a smile.. He goes down checking if everything is ready he looks at all the shagun..

In SM:
Priya: Kaka aaj khana mein banaaungi.. Aap baaki kaam dekhleejiye..
She finishes cooking a huge variety of dishes..
Shipra and Sudhir come into the house..
Shipra: Wah kya baath hai.. Yaha tak Priya ki cooking ki swaad aarahi hai..
Sudhir: Ramu tum yeh sab leke jao and walks to the kitchen..
Everything is ready neatly placed in the cutlery..
Priya: Ma papa.. Aap jaake tayaar hojaayiye woh aathe hi honge..

They go and get ready Priya walks into Karthik's room..
Priya: Brushes his hair with her fingers.. Karthik late hogaya hai.. Uto..
Karthik: opening his eyes and smiling.. Good morning di!
Priya: Jaldi tayaar hoja..
She walks out and starts helping everyone with the decorations.. Thinking.. Sham ko hi mangni hai.. Wow mera chot bhai kitna bada hogaya hai.. Shipra is busy getting ready and Sudhir is busy inviting everyone for the engagement..

In KM:
Everyone is ready.. And they leave.. Ram feels fresh today.. His choti is getting married.. He thinks.. Kitni badi hogayi.. Aur itna accha ladka mila hai usse.. And smiles.. He tells everyone about how they have to wash their hands and legs before entering the house..
Nutz: Bhai karthi ne mujhe sab batadiya hai..
Vik: Are Ram lagtha hai Priyaji bhi tumhaare tarah hygine freak hai..
Neha: Suna hai ki woh bohot khubsurat hai..
Nutz: Haan meine photo mein dekha hai..
Ram just smiles at their conversation.. Krishna notices this..
Krishuji: Ram tune usse mila tha na kal.. Kaisi hai..
Ram: jaisa uska ghar hai waisi hai..
Everyone is surprised.. Ram for the first time has talked in a riddle..
They reach SM.. Everyone has become quite..
There is so much serinity as they enter the gates.. They are drawn into a new place.. Green tranquil.. The wooden path bridges amd wayer ponds.. They are mesmerized..
Krishuji: Breaking the silence.. Agar jagah itni khubsoorat hai toh.. And smiles at Ram who is looking at a marble sitout.. Everyone gets out and follow Ram..
Ram thinking.. Din mein bhi itni khubsurat hai.. He looks around and is surprised to see rabbits and butterflies.. As he walks over the wooden bridge he notices fishes and turtles in the water way below.. Everyone has been transported to a different world.. They reach the entance.. They take off their foot ware wash their feet and step in.. The cold marble floor puts a smile on everones face.. Sudhir and Shipra welcome them.. Everyone sit down looking at the beautiful white marbeled house.. It seems like they are in heaven.. The floral arrangement just seems to enhance the beauty of the place.. Karthik comes running down.. He is all smiles looking at Natasha while she bends her head blushing.. Ram's eyes are searching for Priya.. Karthik takes everyones blessing..
Sudhir: Priya..
Priya from the kitchen.. Ji aayi.. Everyones attention goes towards her voice.. It seems to eco in their minds.. They all look towards the kitchen entrance..
She steps out.. Everyone is mesmerised.. The only thing one can hear is her paayal.. There is so much dignity and calmness in her gait.. Her smile has spellbound everyone..
Priya stops and places the tray with tea on yhe tespoy.. She folds her hand and says namaste..
Ram smiles.. Breaking the silence.. Yeh aapne banayi hai..?
Sudhir: Aaj khaane aur peene mein joh bhi hai sab Priya ne banaai hai..
Priya smiles and pours tea for everyone..
Ram: Toh everyone yeh duniyaa ki sabse acchi chai hai.. Enjoy..
Priya smiles..
Krishuji: Wah kya swaad hai..
Vik: Neha kuch seekho Priyaji se..
Everyone laugh.. They start disscussing about the engagement..
Krishuji: Humne sab ko phone par buladiya hai lekin bado ko personally invite karna padega..
Sudhir: Aap tik keherahi hai.. Lekin itna kaam hai.. Priya beta tu humaari taraf se jaayegi..
Priya: Ji.. And smiles she goes to see if the dining table is ready..
Krishuji: Ek kaam karthe hai Sudhirji.. Kyu na hum Ram aur Priya ko dono parivaar ke tarafs bhejdete hai..
Sudhir: Haan yeh tik hoga..
Ram is inattentive as he watches Priya's behaviour with the maids.. Thinking.. Sabko itna izzat dethi hai..
Krishuji: Ram tum Priya ke saath bado ko bulaane chale jaana..
Ram: smiles.. Ji..
Priya comes and says.. Breakfast ready hai.. Aap sab khalijiye..
They all go and sit down..
Krishuji: Priya tum bhi baitjao..
Sudhir: Krishnaji yej tab tak nahi khaayegi jab tqk sab na khaale.. Priya smiles..
Krishuji thinking Aise sanskaar aaj kal kis ladki mein hoti hai.. Abd smiles.. Priya serves for everyone.. They start eating..
Krishnaji: wah kya khaana bana hai.. Priya tum toh sarva gun sampan ho..
Neha: Are ab mein toh cooking classes keliye roz aaungi..
Vik: Haan.. Nah toh mein yaha shift hojaaunga..
Everyone laugh..
Nutz: Bhai aapne kuch nahi kaha..
Ram: Smiles and looks at Priya.. Bohot acchi hai..
Priya: Thankyou.. And walks away..
Everyone finish..
Krishuji: Ram tum Priya ko lekar jao.. Hume bohot kaam hai..
As everything has been arranged in a short notice Nuts and Karthik go to buy the rings while the entire Sharma and Kapoor khandhaan get busy with arrangements.. Ram walks to the kitchen.. He sees Priya.. She has just finished her breakfast and is washing her hands.. She turns the tap and puts her hand below the water.. He is lost watching her bangles dangling ob her thin wrists.. The soft hands rubbing each other.. She turns the tap and looks back..
Priya: Aap..? As she wipes her hand with a white towel..
Ram snapping out.. Haan hume chalna chahiye..
Priya: Haan.. Chaliye..

To be continued..

Precap: A drive to cherish

How did you like this everyone?
Waiting for your comments and criticism.. It motivates me to write..

Thankyou for all your compliments..

Lots of love,
L.

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iLuvRamKapoor

IF-Sizzlerz

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Posts: 15807

Posted: 12 December 2012 at 7:23am | IP Logged
very nice 
description of priya n her house is too good
cont soon

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nehaprasad1994nagma0

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