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Musings on Reflection
It can be said that a reflection is a perception of the original through a medium. The clarity of the reflection depends upon the clarity of the medium. If the medium is cloudy, it affects the reflection. Like the outer mirror that reflects forms, the mind may be seen as an inner mirror that reflects the reality around oneself through impressions received from the sense organs. So long as the objects of perception are benign in the sense that they do not bring out strong negative or positive reactions, the mind does not have a problem doing its job of being a clear medium, but the closer the relationship of the object to oneself, evoking strong reactions, the harder it is to see clearly. The mind is clouded by the reactions, and is unable to do its job of reflecting clearly. In other words, in such a situation, one sees what one wishes to see, not necessarily what there is.
This is what happened to Arati today as she kept seeing herself through various mediums reflection, each one embodying different conditions of her mind. Through the television screen, Arati sees herself imagining herself in Yash's eyes as a celebrity of sorts, sentiments that were very much echoed in his missive that she had just finished reading. Next, Arati sees herself reflected in the lotus pool. The winds of self-doubt in her mind cause the flowing reflection to waver, even as she clings to the lotus of pure love blooming in her heart, that is close to being reciprocated. Of course the hard pebbles in the form of the memories of the past line the watery image. In fact, one sees the background of the pebbles etched more forcefully than Arati's reflection or the lotus. The undercurrent of her harsh background is something that cannot be totally overcome, but the fact that it appears in the form of small pebbles without sharp edges is a ray of hope that this background and the hidden truths is something that is perhaps manageable. Later still, Arati sees herself in the photo on the wall, the 2 Aratis, the real and the ideal, almost coalescing, but not quite totally. A photograph is a slice of time captured, an ideal memory enshrined, and made timeless. Arati observing the photograph, projects her voyeurism in the form of Yash's love for her. Today's scene is somewhat reminiscent of the karva chauth scene of Yash's eye following Arati behind the viewfinder of the camera. Today, Arati is doing Yash's job herself.
Through these mediums, Arati sees what she wants to see --someone who is exactly as Yash sees her. Introspection yields both the positive and negative aspects of oneself. Even as Arati is lost in the protracted daydream of self-discovery through Yash's eyes, reveling in the-Reality-As-She-Wishes-It-To-Be, Reality-As-It-Is rings the doorbell and coughs its way uncontrollably, inside, forcing its entry not only within the household, but also within the confines of Arati's compartmentalized heart.
Confronting the shady past gift-wrapped in a blue scarf, Arati defends her turf, and tries to allow it to not enter --a losing battle, really, considering that the past never really has left --dormant, yet overpowering, like the pebbled lining of the reflecting pool, the past awaits its turn in the wings.
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