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A stone on the dirty road... (Page 2)

ChaiBiskoot IF-Sizzlerz
ChaiBiskoot
ChaiBiskoot

Joined: 06 July 2011
Posts: 11758

Posted: 16 December 2012 at 8:46am | IP Logged
this is so unique.. it reminded me of the school times when we had to write an autobiography on non living stuff.. and here a poem wich is written so well .. great work!!

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

LoveToLaugh--jiya--

..KaJenDelena.. Senior Member
..KaJenDelena..
..KaJenDelena..

Joined: 09 November 2010
Posts: 726

Posted: 10 January 2013 at 8:10am | IP Logged
Beautiful & creative piece of poetry, just a little suggestion instead of bluntly mentioning " I am a stone on the dirty road" in the first line of the first paragraph and the first line of the last paragraph aswell. Just mention in it at the end of the poem " For I am a stone on the dirty road"- that way it will be more sophistacted as people would already make assuptions to what could be "kicked, hurt, stained by mud etc". I am no poet (and wont even go in that direction lol) but I sincerely think that will sound better. Hope you take no offence by me saying so. xx

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

--jiya--

Maria. IF-Sizzlerz
Maria.
Maria.

Joined: 17 March 2010
Posts: 16682

Posted: 11 January 2013 at 9:29am | IP Logged
Jiya*hugs dear*
well i didn't know you can write so well..it was beautiful.
you can put the emotions so well in just few words.Amazing
Keep writing and sharing.
P.S..you didn't PM me:(..please PM me next time.
 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

--jiya--

--jiya-- IF-Rockerz
--jiya--
--jiya--

Joined: 01 January 2011
Posts: 5600

Posted: 30 January 2013 at 10:36am | IP Logged
Thank You all who liked my attempt. Your mere words mean a lot to me.

@KaJenDeLena - thanks for the advice dear. Will keep it in mind :)

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

.Perk.

Leve IF-Stunnerz
Leve
Leve

Joined: 20 November 2010
Posts: 40616

Posted: 10 March 2013 at 9:09pm | IP Logged
i really like the poem Big smile i don't understand it, but i love it Thumbs Up

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

--jiya--

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