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PRADYUMAN'S DAUGHTER OPEN For Reviews Here (Page 5)

visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31236

Posted: 22 December 2012 at 6:30am | IP Logged
Ab isme chupana kya? Story no 4 is mine...and I was very very very angry with Abhijeet when I started the story. I started it the week after Abhijeet ki Deewani. ROFL

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gadhadada

visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31236

Posted: 22 December 2012 at 9:01am | IP Logged
GD, you want justification for Pradyuman's daughter??? Please visit funny stories thread in a couple of days.

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gadhadada

gadhadada IF-Addictz
gadhadada
gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74874

Posted: 22 December 2012 at 10:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by visrom

GD, you want justification for Pradyuman's daughter??? Please visit funny stories thread in a couple of days.

arry DII, mujhy Justification nahi chahyey, I said kay wahan Municipal Cooperation mein baray Bhai ka attitude buht odd tha, as its a Sensitive Issue tou un ko Bhai kay sath mil kr isy thora Silently Deal karna tha... honestly the Suggestion of Rest totally Hilarious and after reading that... main buht bus hansta hee raha...ROFLROFLROFL
BTW, I'll definitley visit Funny Stories Thread in coming days regularly... najany aap ka Shahkaar kub aa jayey...Wink 


Edited by gadhadada - 22 December 2012 at 9:59am
Shagnika IF-Rockerz
Shagnika
Shagnika

Joined: 02 February 2010
Posts: 7856

Posted: 22 December 2012 at 1:13pm | IP Logged

My reviews ! Smile


Story 1 : Good story. Liked how Freddy sir got a lot of importance throughout… And also how you avoided the rest of the team …! The pahelis were nice….its always interesting to read such stories. Specially, ACP's sms clues were very nice. The casual talks and jokes during the case could have been avoided, because they knew their ACP was in danger and in such a situation they wont be cracking jokes I believe.  Duo behaved very much like them, it was good to see that… The concept of bomb in wrist watch is a bit weird… I mean you don't expect a very high intensity bomb as small as that, may be. Overall, it was good and entertaining... SmileWill expect more stories from you !

 

Story 4 : Its very much evident that AKD had a severe impact on youLOL ! lol… Nevertheless, Abhijeet's behaviour was  not very unusual. We all know he does have a habit of taking up things in his own hands. I liked how you described Daya's concern for Abhijeet throughout. Yes the entry of media and DCP and all made it a little OTT…but then could not have helped it I guess. But yeah, I didn't want ACP to taunt Abhijeet about Roshni at the end… Chalo koi nahi..Mahabaleshwar waali baat ne khush kar diya J As always a sensible story from one of the best writers of IF…Clap


Will add more when I read the other two... Smile

 

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gadhadada

debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19986

Posted: 23 December 2012 at 2:41am | IP Logged
My reviews : Story 1 i already gave...

Story 3 :
I know the writer very well Tongue i faced lots of problems to understand the words Ouch
overall concept is not very bad but u can write it in different way then it can be more good...specially i dnt like the false engagement...anyway good attempt Smile

Story 4 :
OMG !! @vis u wrote it Shocked i cant match this Abhijeet at all & i was thinking who is the writer LOL kya yaar !!! the concept was so good but AKD ne kya kar diya LOL


Edited by debasree04 - 23 December 2012 at 2:39am

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gadhadada

gadhadada IF-Addictz
gadhadada
gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74874

Posted: 23 December 2012 at 6:28am | IP Logged

Story 1: as I knew that its Writer First attempt, really a Brave StepClapClap... Very Nice OneEmbarrassedEmbarrassed, the Riddles are Good and the Phone Clue was ExcellentClapClapClap, FREDDIE Sir Inclusion was AwesomeThumbs Up, Somehow Story little Lengthy and the Theme was Sidlined as wellSmile, but I love to Read, the Watch Bomb was... chalo baccha chalay gaLOLLOL... Very Good Attempt...ClapClapClap
visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 31236

Posted: 24 December 2012 at 2:48am | IP Logged
Story no 3:

good amount of research has gone into this. Clap


You have properly justified the ACP's daughter theme. but was the shaadi track with Daya necessary? LOL

If the dna report did match and ACP knew that he had no daughter, then wouldn't he have done a second check??? even for medical issues, people go for second opinion...then why didn't ACP??? Tongue

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gadhadada

gadhadada IF-Addictz
gadhadada
gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 74874

Posted: 25 December 2012 at 12:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by debasree04

My reviews : Story 1 i already gave...

Story 3 :
I know the writer very well Tongue i faced lots of problems to understand the words Ouch
overall concept is not very bad but u can write it in different way then it can be more good...specially i dnt like the false engagement...anyway good attempt Smile


Sorry abt the False Engagement and i dunt understand, what WORDS creating problem for you in UnderstandingConfused... wesay I m Sorry again...Ouch


Originally posted by visrom

Story no 3:

good amount of research has gone into this. Clap 


You have properly justified the ACP's daughter theme. but was the shaadi track with Daya necessary? LOL

If the dna report did match and ACP knew that he had no daughter, then wouldn't he have done a second check??? even for medical issues, people go for second opinion...then why didn't ACP??? Tongue

DII, darasal koi aur Idea nahi tha, FW inspirationLOL.. its just a Trap, ACP Sir might be thought that the Girl is young so cant handle the sudden Jhatka...Wink
abt Second Opinion, ACP Sir did not believe on those reports which the Daughter brought with Her, He Scanned all on Fresh bases not only Re Reviewed on that Reports and CID Forensic reports are there so who thought about Second Opinion...Smile
BTW Thank you so much... really... Thank YouBig smileBig smile


Edited by gadhadada - 25 December 2012 at 12:43am

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