Joined: 29 June 2010
Joined: 04 March 2009
Blame or understanding
Guilt or Care
Next Part :-
Doctor:-We r Sorry that some how she came to know about the lost.
Maan looked at doctor with full shocked expression then noticed his sona who is sitting in the bed without expression , her face look, blank, pale, and full with pain, her eyes doesn't hold any emotions, it's blank,
Maan closed his eyes to see the Misery of his and their life.
Maan:- how she come to know it?
Doctor:-Oh one nurse said it to her mistakenly
Maan looked at doctor angrily and said do u think this is some mistake, do u know how it can cause so much harm in her life , do u know ?
Doctor:- We r really sorry ,don't know it's not intentionally mistake, it's just, still .we r really sorry.
Maan shrugged off the matter and know nothing will help him and his sona.
He entered the cabin silently and soon noticed geet is looking at him, the same girl few moments ago she was blank , emotionless completely now she is looking at him with painful expression, he placed all necessary thing in the table and cupboard then turn and looked at geet who just has teary eyes and as if telling where is their baby.
Maan very slowly went near to her and sat on the bed but lost the courage to see her eyes.
He just lowered his head and called oh geet I…..I……I'm……s.oorrry…..I'm really…..sorry.I never intent to….hurt u but….I but maan has to stop when he heard a faint sound of sobbing. When maan looked at her and said geet.
But geet just whimper and sobbed more,
Maan:- what happen geet? Is there any pain, shall I call doctor, wait m but geet just hold his hand and looked at him again when maan looked at her with confuse expression but unaware of the fact that, what geet actually want, for the first time kuwar sa fail to understand his sona. He said wait sona, m here, and called doctor who came and check geet again when geet's eyes r only searching her kuwar sa who again came out from there as he is fighting with himself with this guilt and pain but didn't realized the pain his sona is feeling and more how she is feeling low now without him.
Later maan entered the cabin to find out what happen when doctor said it's cause of stress and pain.
Maan nodded when doctor said she need u Lt Colonel Khurana , mrs khurana will be heal soon from physical but her mental stress, and wounds will only heal by ur support ,care and love.
Maan nodded as if try to understand it but is he really realized what doctor want to say . he take a seat besides geet and caressed her head lovingly and said I'm sorry, he caressed her cheek which is full with tears of pain and hurt.
He continue to patted her till he also fall in sleep due to stress and pain and injury .
He wake up when he find nurse came and said sir ,sir oh she need to eat her dinner, if u help me or if u help her to eat it.
Maan want to say her to do it but turn and find his sona is looking at him when maan said sister if u don't mind then help her to take her dinner .
Nurse nodded when maan get up and geet just silently looking at maan and thought that may be he is angry, upset on her, due to her mistake, they lost their child, geet once again whimper when aan turn and soon noticed nurse told her to get up so she can feed her when maan said don't , u don't need to help her, I'll .
Nurse nodded and left them alone when maan slowly placed the soup bowl in the table and placed the pillow behind geet's back, then slowly held her back and and helped her half sit in the bed and then said shall I.
Geet just looked at him blankly when maan slowly put one spoon of soup near to her lips and said sona, have it.But geet just blankly looked at him when maan said sona open ur mouth see sona,
But geet just turn and hugged the pillow and try to not break down.
Maan is fully taken aback by this then said geet,sona, listen to me,sona,pls.
But geet only nodded her no and hide her face in pillow,maan know she is hurting herself by this and gently pulled her towards him then looked at her face which is full with tear and she is having hiccup, maan cupped her face and said sona, it'll hurt u .
But geet just nodded no and try to say something when maan said shhh sona, don't pls….. but suddenly geet said I….I….am sorrryyy.I'm failed……..tooo….saaavveee…..uuurrr……babyyy……
Maan shocked to hear it and looked at geet's tear striken face ,she is still crying but it's hiccuping more and maan first time know geet is holding her tear and feeling guilty , when maan cupped her face and said sona, shhh, u didn't failed, u didn't and hugged her tightly when geet just hide herself in his arms as if want this , hide herself , geet hugged maan tightly hold his shirt in her small fist and said I'm sorry .i…..I…. didn't….knnnooowww.
When maan patted her back and said no sona, u r not at all fault, shhh, my sona never done anything wrong, my sona is best……..
Geet pushed herself more like little kid , when maan keep patting her back and saying sweet nothing, try to reassure her again and again how she was not at fault how she is good, but geet completely break down , her pain for losing their child, her pain and guilt for not able to save he kuwar sa's symbol ,her paid is to cause pain for her kuwar sa as she know how kuwar sa is dying every moments, she cling to him more and more .
After lots of patting and reassuring , geet cried subsided little bit but she is still clinging to him like lifeless when maan keep patting her back and head and try to soothe her pain, hurt,sadness.
After some time, geet stopped but still sat in maan's lap almost and placed her face in his shoulder and just sat there.when maan said sona,hearing no response from her, he again patted and carrased her hair and said sona, baat nehi karoge aapne maan ,kuwar sa se, will u not talk with me,will u not reply ur kuwar sa sona.
When geet slowly looked at him and maan just cupped her one cheek and said sona, do u trust me?
Geet again placed her head on his chest but still looking lost,
when maan said then trust me, it's not ur fault, it's just accident and in future u will fulfill this , sona, listen u r not at fault , u never did anything wrong sona, u r not aware na, and more imp it's accident na,ha
but sona u know what, ur kuwar sa will be , hurt, sad and will be in pain, u know a, ur kuwar sa will never be able to see u in pain, maan try to sooth her heart, try to erase her pain but but what his pain, his guilt, his wounded heart .
he put a breave face and forget everything and just try to erase all night mare, all tension ,worry, pain, guilt from his sona, but in real, it's so easy , no it's not a mother can't forget it, may be she don't know, or don't feel that way her child but it's a feeling which is only a mother can feel and understand.
Geet slowly looked at maan but her face is lost her color when maan slowly wipes her tears and said sona, now have some soup, see, u r too weak,
But geet nodded no.
Maan know it'll be not so easy but she have to eat something and said sona,pls mere liye,for me,pls once but geet keep nodding no, her health is not so good, finally maan left to say anything and stay there with geet in his arms, and for geet's well being she has to eat but she is not listening and he don't know hwo to say her , he is feeling chocking with guilt but he is here to help her, with his sath if she feels little better but he know the moments she will know who killed her baby, she will hate him only,
Maan sighed when geet softly said hmmm
Maan:- ha sona bolo,
Geet:-oh ,aappp….aapne khana khaya ?
Maan:- sona, how I'll when u r not.
Geet snuggled and said I'm don't feeling hungry and again start crying when maan just hugged her tight and try to soothe her, saying her sweet things, assuring her but nothing work,
Much Later geet got half sleep on maan's chest when maan hugged her tight and fighting with his inner guilt didn't let him to thik any think other than her sona's comfort, maan called nurse and order a fresh soup for geet, his sona and lay there few moments,his back is paining badly due to the wound but he didn't flinch as the physical wound is nothing compare to this mental pain , guilt, and more to see his sona in pain.
Maan heard her whimpering agan and clutching him tightly , he looked at her pale face, how colorless it's now,her face which was always shinining brightly, eyes r hold mischieve now. He sighed and heard the knock on the door and maan slowly said come in . a nurse came and said sir soup for ma'm
Maan nodded and said place it there,After nurse went out ,maan slowly called sona, sona, get up,
Geet who is half sleep and half wake in pain and guilt looked at maan then said mujhe nehi khana and turn another side when maan said what r u doing sona, it'll hurt u when geet pushed his hand and said then let it be ,
Maan get up and said geet then hurt me also, no u r already hurting me geet,
Geet looked at maan who is now looking another side and maan said u don't have eat, the way our child left me, go , u can also go, let me here alone to suffer,
Geet whimper again and said I….I….kuwar sa………
She cried when maan runs towards her and hugged her and said shhh sona,I'm sorry,I didn't mean anything sona,pls…..shhh, see looked at me, sona pls,
When geet nodded no and said I'm bad, ……I le….ttt…uuurrr chilllddd to lefffttt uuu ifff sommmeee oneee else but maan almost forcefully cupped her face & said baaasss ek aur shabd nehi, no more words from u now, listen to me, we….lost our child…..and it's not ur fault, and u will not blame urself……u will not feel any guilt and u know ur pain, giving me pain here, I know sona, it's not so easy to forget neither I'm telling u but sona, if u keep crying and giving urself pain, then I'll not say anything but it's killing me, sona, u don't know how it's like when m looking at u like this,u will not eat, u don't want to live, u want to hurt urself ,then what about me?baby is urs only, not mine.
Geet nodded no then hugged him tightly and said I'm sorry pls….pl.sss. don't say like that , baby is urs , baby was ours.
Maan cupped her face and said then the pain is also our, u will not hurt urself ha , promised me, u will not when geet just nodded slightly and again hugged him.
Later maan slowly feed her soup and wipes her lips then said now have this mdecine .Geet like little obideint kid nodded and do whatever her kuwar sa said .
After maan clear her, make her lay as doctor said they will come and check her up once before sleep ,
At night geet is sleeping due to sedative and medicine as maan and doctor both knows her injury for both physical and mental r not letting her to sleep.
Maan closed his eyes where keep patting her back and thinking about the incident, he felt how they almost become parents then suddenly this is snatch from them,how it's effects her .they just know now and within moments their baby left them but as a parents both them feeling the loss , maan can't say openly or expressed it so well but his pain, as father , he should save his child but he is the one who has to choose his wife over their child due to destiny and circumstances but still, here a helpless mother lying in the bed with lots of pain her phycial wound may be heal slowly but her pain and not able to save her child, the pain, is unbearable, may be she didn't feel that way but a child is child, a mother is also a mother, no one can understand the pain of loosing a child is smething bigger than anything.
Early morning maan wake up and find geet is just looking at out side but he know the fight is going inside her, the pain she is feeling.
He softly called her,couple of time sona ,
when geet said hmmm , maan slowly make her looked at him and said sona,when geet just turned and hugged him and tried hard to control the sob but didn't .
Maan patted her back and said sona,who just said what it's happen with us kuwar sa, y it's happen with u,it's all cause of my callousness ,cause of my careless about the situation ,kuwar sa, if I would …..but maan place his finger and said shhh, no sona, see,I really don't know y It's happen but can say u r not at fault , sona it's just accident, u know some times, GOD took exam from us, it's also like that,
Geet hold maan's hand and said but y he failed us, y he took our and hugged him and cried there, she can't forget this easily, it's creating a big pain in her hear, a big pain, he can't forget the truth that their child lost, their child left them for forever,their child will never be come here.
Here, after checking her up , doctor prescribed few medicine, her nutrition, yoga and said they will check her up again after couple of days ,and any kind of problem then pls inform us,
Maan nodded then helped geet to get down but her pain in leg and the weakness , make her stumble but maan hold her securely in his strong arms and took her in his arms.
Both came back to their home,maan noticed geet is full silent, he holds her hand many times but his sona was quiet and it's scaring maan like hell.
He entered their home when geet fall in sleep due to tiredness and fatigue,maan caressed her feace and placed her on the bed lovingly .
He called sunil for some work then went to wash room to take shower.
In washroom ,maan open the shower and cried there, the tears he can't shed in front of his sona, he can shed here , cold waters gliding on his body but the burning sensation of pain the lost he is feeling ,it's almost killing him, and more he took the decision, he can't justified his act , he can't forgive himself he don't know how his sona will react after know how he killed their child, how he being self fish and choose one ,he punch the wall in frustration anger,
Here in bedroom, geet get up suddenly feeling alone but the noticed she is inside the home but her kuwar sa is no where near to the roon, she looked here and there and thought may be maan is angry on her, may be he didn't told her first but now may be he , geet is lost in her thought, and the alone staying for few moments also make her think negatively ,guilt is coming back , this calmness now making her shudder with the thought that may be her kuwar sa blamed her, blamed her for not able save their child,her past , traumatic childhood's all make think negatively, one side her mind said her kuwar sa always trust her, understand her , love her like past but another side make her shiver with the thought may be he is angry, may be due to some reason he is thinking her a killer of their child,
Her all chain of thoughts break when maan called her sona, sona, kya hua, what happen sona?
Geet looked at her kuwar sa then suddenly throw her arms on his waist and hugged him tightly and keep murmuring something.
Maan at first come out from the washroom and called his sona, sona , sona, but turn and looked at her and shocked to see her full lost.
He quickly went towards her but found her completely lost , he shook her, call her but no response and finally when she respond him back, just hugged him and cried her heart out, his heart pain to see her crying like this.
But the next set of words make him froze there, shock with those words, maan looked at her and think y she is saying sorry , y she is blaming herself to the incident,
He cupped her face and said sona, sona, y u r blaming urself, sona ,it's not u neither u at fault,
But geet nodded no and said no m at fault , I killed ur child, I…..
When maan cupped her face and bring it close to him and said no , u r not , u didn't do anything, u didn't ,sona, listen to me sona, pls ,sona looked at me,
When geet slowly looked at him, maan said , sona, do u trust me, do u trust ur kuwar sa .
Geet nodded yes slowly and sniffed , maan wipes her tears and said trust me sona, it's not ur fault, it's just an accident,,it's just accident, u didn't do anything, u never harmed our child, geet,
Geet with sniffing sound said but…… he left me…….he left us
Maan pull her in his arms and hugged her and said yes he left us but he will be back to us, back to his mom , back to his dadda again.
Geet looked at maan then asked sach,
Maan nodded but with chocked emotion and gulped down the pain clotting on his throat , for maan , he ignoring all pain and just want to reduce his sona's pain .
At after noon after lunch which was a most hectic thing as geet is keep refusing t have anything but maan's pateince make her agree and have little and then have medicine also, but the time of medicine she became more adament to not have it but again in front maan's care, and love, make her have medicine also.
Maan lay on the bed half way when geet is clinging to him like little baby, he sighed , how much she is feeling the pain, how he has to make her assure that their child will be back, she is not at fault,
He thanks to his Star as to day is holiday other wise he has to go for office but he have to go from tomorrow, then what will geet do, who will take care of her, she is not in her sense , the fear, guilt pain she is feeling,just couple of hours ago, he just few mins late in washroom, she thought, he will left her, he was angry on her, maan did't know how to bring back his old sona, here his sona is completely drowning in pain, and guilt, and which make him more guilty.
He closed his eyes and wishes if he can then he would change the clock and make it fine . he noticed geet is stirring little , he quickly patted her back ,his heart pained to see her like this, so pale, so disoriented for everything, so lifeless , so wounded not from out side but inside, how he wish to erase every wounds from her , how he waish to erase those nightmare, how he wished.to changed everything but sigh.
Later ,Maan make her eat dinner the same way, it's painful for maan with this guilt and pain that his sona is suffering like this but he can't do anything.
Here geet is numb and so much drowning inside her own pain sorrw that forget to see the pain her kuwar sa is feeling, forget to see the guilt eating up her kuwar sa but is it possible for a soul will not understand her life, is it possible for a heart beat will not understand her heart or is it possible for a life will not understand her soul.
At mid night , geet wake up after having a nightmare ,she is panting and rubbing her hands on bed to look at her life her kuwar sa but didn't, she shouts for her kuwar sa, she get up and runs towards washroom but didn't, she stumble in fear she is shuddering with the face that her kuwar sa left her, punishing her .
Who is pnushing whom, who knows?what an irony of a life, a strom all most shaking the paradise of love ?
She fall down on the floor and said kuwar sa pls, I'm sorry,pls come back,pls…..
Here in Work out room, maan is break slab, doing excersice as if want to punish himself for the pain his sona going through, and here he can't do anything, he himself confuse , helpless with the incident and more his sona 's sad face, make him go angry on himself, he is keep torturing himself, punishing himself but not aware & unknowingly his pain, punishing himself causing what?
He feared about the reaction of his sona when she will know the truth, she fear about his reaction what if he will blame her, who will blame whom, when no one at fault between them, it's destiny, it's some one's else but this two innocent people r lossing themselves, loosing their peace, punishing themselves .
Maan came after long time punishing himself but got shock of his life, his sona crumbling in the floar and crying there.
Maan runs and called her and hold her near to his heart when geet murmuring something. He called her but geet only holding him and crying , maan quickly scoop her in his arms and placed her in the bed and try to took the phone but geet just hugged him and hide herself in him and said I know u want to punish me, u will leave me, u will…… but suddenly get lost her conscious……
When maan just sat there numb with his life unconscious on his hand
here is the next part
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Joined: 29 June 2010
Joined: 29 June 2010
Joined: 04 March 2009
Joined: 29 June 2010
Joined: 29 June 2010
Joined: 29 June 2010
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