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anandi has become selfish (Page 2)

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jack0007

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jack0007

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
todays episode took anandi back to square one  like when she was talking to khajaan after her engagement...it is just that she respects shiv much more..

then why all this romantic drama? i still remember the scene when shiv asked her if she would miss him  "kya aap mujhe dekhe bina reh paaengi?"  n she shyly looked down..(after maasaa had said they cud not see each other till marriage)...  wow anandi nicely acted  u dint even have to lie..poor shiv -- he caught jagdishs' amnesia drama but culdnt get this..

writers cud have shown anandi in still d best friend mode...but to make her say that love can happen only once n she will not be able to love shiv went a bit too far..

wedding jitters? dat dint look like normal wedding jitters..

if after all dat has transpired anandi still feels that her marriage is just a 'sumjhota'  then shiv ,for d person he is, certainly deserves a girl bttr than her who can atleast say wats on her mind...




Edited by jack0007 - 06 December 2012 at 4:56pm

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by jack0007

@shivanandi
yes i get wat u r trying to say..
but i felt it was wrong when she asked shiv to marry him to fulfill her mothers promise..but it was fine given the circumstances that she was still in trauma of her mothers death n everyone was forcing her to marry..

but today she verywell knows what she is doing n even she knows the reason shiv agreed to marry her when dadisaa asked him..              if she always thought that she could not love shiv why did she bash him when shiv was calling off the marriage...
  

Because she knew he was doing it for Jagdish and that he wanted to marry her. She does want to marry him to make him happy and maybe hope for happiness herself, and was angry that he was giving up their bond for Jagdish without asking what she felt.

Originally posted by jack0007

it was not that anyone forced her ...even dadisaa wanted her to go back to jagya... at that point her decision to marry shiv was totally her own  and not forced..she bashed shiv for not understanding what she felt or wanted  which obviously meant that she wanted to marry shiv probably bcoz she thought may be she cud find happiness n probably love again... at that point she was not marrying shiv just for the sake of others happiness. thats y todays episode comes as a shock. there is differnce between not loving someone(presently) n feeling that you can never love someone.. sumitra was right anandi's words felt like it was just a 'sumjhota'.

Happiness and love are closely related and very often go together, but they don't HAVE to go together. She knows Shiv wants to marry her and she knows she can give him happiness but she's just not sure about the love thing. Would it be better for her to call off the wedding and say 'I respect you and you're my best friend, but I don't love you, and you should find someone who will make you happy and match your love' ? That would break Shiv's heart, wouldn't it?

The sumjhota part for her I think comes from the fact that had Shiv not agreed to Dadisa's proposal, Dadisa could never have taken it to her mother and her mother could never have extracted that promise from her. It's not a cold-blooded calculation she's making, it's all very mixed up - the initial proposal, the promise, his feelings for her, her feelings for him, their respect for each other, the bond between them and between her and his family minus Sanchi. She's feeling just as guilty about the sumjhota part of it, but overall the marriage is a lot more than that for her too. 

Originally posted by jack0007

if she always felt that way y wud she want to marry him in the first place? there was a part of me hoping that anandi wud fall in love wid shiv bfore marriage.. for even if she fell in love with shiv after marriage how wud that be different from her love for jagya which was kind of forced?

There's again a difference between love and ideas of love. She's both afraid of loving again, and she also believes love only happens once. But honestly, it appears she's already in love - real love - with Shiv and just doesn't know it, and needs a shock or revelation of some kind to realize it. Shiv also only realized it after Ashima made him see it. I don't think it will be 'forced' at all - JaAn's relationship was mostly about Jagdish and her serving him and the family. With AnSh, it's a two way street and always has been, and there's a lot more understanding and compatibility, the kind that gives birth to real love between two minds and hearts, and stays even if one person has to go away for a few years.


Edited by Shivandi - 06 December 2012 at 3:00pm

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snehasri

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snehasri

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 3:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Shivandi

I don't think it's that simple. The most important thing I got from that conversation is exactly that Anandi is worrying about what you just said. Her concern isn't as much for herself as it is for Shiv and what she thinks she won't be able to give him, and I think that speaks volumes about what she feels subconsciously, even though she doesn't see it yet.

You have to remember she blamed Shiv for agreeing to marry her, when she didn't know he loved her. She was going to go through with the marriage then too, because of her mother's promise, and because she thought this is what everyone wanted, including Shiv. Now she knows he loves her, and that makes it even more of a situation where she's going through with it for everyone's happiness, but now it includes his, and hers, although she doesn't fully realize that. She has a really ridiculous concept of love, like we heard in her phone conversation with Ashima, but I don't think she's ever truly felt it. At least not the kind of love that happens between two really compatible people who understand each other and are meant for each other. Whatever was between her and Jagdish was forced by the circumstances, and was 'swabahvik' attachment, and she ascribed her own ideas of love as once in a lifetime to it. But she doesn't know what love is.

Also, all this confusion is mixed with the sadness any woman feels on leaving her home before marriage. It's her attachment to her past and childhood speaking, not mature love for Jagdish, not even the Jagdish of five years ago. That flashback occurred as part and parcel of her memories of her past. I don't think she would forget that that Jagdish of five years ago grew up to cheat on her, call her backward and disrespect her mother's memory at her funeral. But she's going into something unknown, and that's scary for anyone. And she's doing it anyway, because she knows it's what her mother wanted and also what Shiv wants. I'd hardly call that selfish. These doubts about her own feelings have more to do with the heat of emotions she was feeling at the prospect of leaving, and were coming from her looking back. When she looks forward, it should be fine. 

I think the fact that it's taking her so long to realize is a good thing, because when the realization does come, it will be profound and romantic and grand and beautiful. Or at least, that's how it should be, if the CVs have any sense. Tongue
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jack0007

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jack0007

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
@shivandi

you wrote:
Because she knew he was doing it for Jagdish and that he wanted to marry her. She does want to marry him to make him happy and maybe hope for happiness herself, and was angry that he was giving up their bond for Jagdish without asking what she felt.

whatever  d reason might be but at least he was doing d right thing... d realization dat she cannot love shiv dint just suddenly dawn on her... she must have known dat back then... so when shiv offered her a way out y dint she just stay quiet... she cud have just remained single after that..

yes breaking d marriage now wud be ridiculous ..but she shud have done it back then..


you wrote:
She knows Shiv wants to marry her and she knows she can give him happiness but she's just not sure about the love thing. Would it be better for her to call off the wedding and say 'I respect you and you're my best friend, but I don't love you, and you should find someone who will make you happy and match your love' ? That would break Shiv's heart, wouldn't it?

to you she doing this for shivs happiness
yes it wud break his heart ... but its better than being wid him a never being able love him...did she really think that shiv wud be happy if she just married him n never love him?

you wrote:
The sumjhota part for her I think comes from the fact that had Shiv not agreed to Dadisa's proposal, Dadisa could never have taken it to her mother and her mother could never have extracted that promise from her. It's not a cold-blooded calculation she's making, it's all very mixed up - the initial proposal, the promise, his feelings for her, her feelings for him, their respect for each other, the bond between them and between her and his family minus Sanchi. She's feeling just as guilty about the sumjhota part of it, but overall the marriage is a lot more than that for her too. 

yes dat is wat i believed bfore todays episode... its clear she doesnt love shiv n he is just a friend but she has expectation of a nice life from her marriage ... but todays episode showed that she is still not happy to marry him  n doesnt have much expectation at all.




Edited by jack0007 - 06 December 2012 at 3:51pm

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macarons

Mikey21

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
Sumitra ne Jo bhi samajaya perfect.jab tak voh is riste ko samjegi Nahi tab tak dono ke bich tisara ayega hi .jagya ne try kar liya jiski vajah se shiv ko MU bhi hui.beause anandi shiv kabhi khule man apni bat nahi batai.may be in future try agian jagya or ashima .

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Siya_

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Siya_

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 6:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by jack0007

@shivandi

you wrote:
Because she knew he was doing it for Jagdish and that he wanted to marry her. She does want to marry him to make him happy and maybe hope for happiness herself, and was angry that he was giving up their bond for Jagdish without asking what she felt.

whatever  d reason might be but at least he was doing d right thing... d realization dat she cannot love shiv dint just suddenly dawn on her... she must have known dat back then... so when shiv offered her a way out y dint she just stay quiet... she cud have just remained single after that..

yes breaking d marriage now wud be ridiculous ..but she shud have done it back then..


you wrote:
She knows Shiv wants to marry her and she knows she can give him happiness but she's just not sure about the love thing. Would it be better for her to call off the wedding and say 'I respect you and you're my best friend, but I don't love you, and you should find someone who will make you happy and match your love' ? That would break Shiv's heart, wouldn't it?

to you she doing this for shivs happiness
yes it wud break his heart ... but its better than being wid him a never being able love him...did she really think that shiv wud be happy if she just married him n never love him?

you wrote:
The sumjhota part for her I think comes from the fact that had Shiv not agreed to Dadisa's proposal, Dadisa could never have taken it to her mother and her mother could never have extracted that promise from her. It's not a cold-blooded calculation she's making, it's all very mixed up - the initial proposal, the promise, his feelings for her, her feelings for him, their respect for each other, the bond between them and between her and his family minus Sanchi. She's feeling just as guilty about the sumjhota part of it, but overall the marriage is a lot more than that for her too. 

yes dat is wat i believed bfore todays episode... its clear she doesnt love shiv n he is just a friend but she has expectation of a nice life from her marriage ... but todays episode showed that she is still not happy to marry him  n doesnt have much expectation at all.



I think we might be going in circles in this discussion, and also that this might actually be a question of perceptions rather than actual fact. I don't think she doesn't have any expectations, nor that she isn't happy, just that her doubts were coming from a moment when she was sad and afraid about leaving her old life. And also I think when she reprimanded him for calling off the wedding, it was an impulse out of the love she feels but doesn't know yet, even though consciously she was just angry about him consulting Jagdish but not her. Her behavior and actions and what they suggest about her subconscious speak more to me than one line about her childish unrealistic ideas about love on the conscious intellectual level. Also when she said 'pyaar to ek baar hi hota hai, na?' she sounded more unsure rather than cold-blooded and selfish. But like I said, these are perceptions on my part, and others may share them, and you and yet others might have perceived it differently. Since that is the case, we should probably wrap up the discussion since arguing the point probably won't get us anywhere. Sorry about beginning the debate by countering your opinion Smile

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jack0007

nilaiza

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nilaiza

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
Anandi ji please shiv k piyar ko samjay  his love is so pure pleaseee dont break his heart..

Mikey21

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Mikey21

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Posted: 06 December 2012 at 6:57pm | IP Logged
Shiv already kaha tha dil aur dimag dono darwaja khula rakhana .but she still close tha door.

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