For Rahi Lovers who are upset on the Rahi track not being given significance. Certain chocolate lovers listening?
"Hi Panchi. You know where we are?"
I looked at the man in front of me. I was in a room with bright white lights and medical equipment so I almost said "The hospital". But the guy in front of me was nothing like a doctor.
Firstly, he was red in color. And not red because he was blushing or because he was angry, by red I mean red. His face looked dangerously like Leonardo DiCaprio and had worn nothing save for a pair of boxers. He had a tail sticking out of his butt, but he was no cute puppy dog. Two glossy horns protruded from opposite sides of his skull. "They aren't really horns," he said with an insulted look, as if he could read my mind. "They're just the extra brain matter."
"You're the Devil," I gaped.
"Excellent observation," he said snarkily. "I could have destroyed a few galaxies in the time it took you to process that. Human beings," he scoffed. "By the way, it's just Devil, not THE Devil okay? I'm not an inanimate object."
"Hey," I smarted, "If you're so upset with the idea of being with me, why are you here?"
"There you go," he snarled, "Your itty-bitty human heart just can't accept that apart from the Snedakians in Sector 5 there is not a single creature in this universe who would want to co-exist with you, and even the Sneds just like you because you have one extra eye. Don't you see darling? Its my job that makes me do this. As Devil, it's my duty to make sure that every damned soul goes to hell, not just humans."
"Don't call me darling," I said, "And I get it. You don't like me, but you have to carry my soul to hell. But wait a minute" I gasped. "I can't possibly be dead, can I?"
"Denial is the first stage," he yawned, "And then after that is the anger. God, I hate the anger. And you're a teenager."
"This is a hallucination right?" I asked hopefully. "Because of the drugs the doctors gave me."
"Don't be stupid," he scoffed. "If people could summon me using drugs, I would have carried away half of Goa by now."
I shook my head. The last thing I remembered was coming in front of the car to save Nonu, and then darkness. Which obviously meant that the car had hit me on the head and I had trauma. I tried to conjure up my memory of Grey's Anatomy episodes. Was seeing the Devil part of the side effects of brain injury?
"Sorry sweetheart," he said, "But contrary to popular 16th century perception, having something wrong in your head doesn't mean I'm friends with you. I'm way more exclusive than that."
"But why now?" I moaned. "I had so much planned you know. I had to graduate, get a job, marry Nonu, have kids with him, then go to a luxury resort and die peacefully in his arms-"
"Yada yada yada," he rattled. " God, you're at the bargaining stage already.I've heard all the sob stories, okay? It's so strange, when you were alive, you probably never told this Nonu person how you felt. You didn't even know you felt that way about him. And now that you're dead, you're suddenly realizing how deep your affection was. Humans," he scoffed again.
"Listen you intergalactic bigot," I growled, "I want to go back to my Nonu. Now."
Devil smiled. "Aha, that's the thing. You can go back to him actually. You see, my boss God, he's made an exit plan for every creature. Your exit plan was eighty years old because of some kind of godforsaken old-age disease you'll haven't discovered yet."
"But I'm sixteen. Which means it's not my time-I can go back right?" I said excitedly.
"Don't get so jumpy," he said irritably. "Yes, it's not your time, so according to the Heavenly Constitution, chapter 5, subsection 3, I'm required to call you here to this place-it's called purgatory. You see, we have heaven for the nice people and hell for the bad people, but for people like you, who are here because some stupid clerk in Disposal messed up, we have this waiting room where we fix things in order to send you back. It's a long process involving a lot of red tape, but thanks to computerization-"
"I get it," I said impatiently. "Now get to the point."
"Teenagers," he rolled his eyes. "Now what you have to do is, you have to give a test. Did you ever hear of this woman called Savitri? We happened to make an error with with her husband too. The fellow, like you, wanted to get back. So I went to Savitri, and I uh, tested her love," he said delicately.
"So you're going to test Nonu's love for me," I sputtered. "Thst's...weird okay. You don't need to test him. I know how much he loves me."
"That doesn't explain what he was doing with that Delhi girl," he said, his eyebrows raised.
"That was a misunderstanding!" I exclaimed. "He didn't know what a sl*g she was until it was too late!" "But it in no way speaks about how much he loves me okay?"
"We'll see," he said, his lips pursed into a thin line.
He flicked his fingers and a screen appeared out of thin air. It showed Nonu sitting beside my bed, stroking my hair. My heart clutched. I know, I know. After what happened with him and Ayesha, I should have felt a perverse pleasure in watching him like that. Except that I just felt worse. I wanted to wipe away those tears making their way down his cheek.
"Okay, so he's sufficiently sad," Devil yawned.
"What do you mean he's sufficiently sad? He's in pain," I roared. "Make it stop. You already took his parents away. You can't do this to him."
"Yes, they were very nice people, but tell that to my boss, not me," he glared, putting his hands on his hips. "I'm just following procedure."
"Okay, so now what? You go to him and ask him stuff?" I said, giving him a sizzling glare of my own.
"Err..it's not quite that easy," he hesitated. "You see, in the olden days it was alright, but nowadays if you just appear in front of people, you risk putting them in a mental asylum. All you humans are lunatics anyway, but the code of ethics..." On seeing the lasers I was giving him, he cleared his throat. "Anyway, there is one way you know. When he falls asleep, I can bring him here."
"What? You're going to kill him for me?" I yelled.
He grimaced. "No. It's possible to bring people here in a state of sleep. They end up going back automatically when they wake up."
He snapped his fingers, and just like that the screen changed from Ranveer in the hospital to Ranveer lying in his bed, fast asleep, his pillow streaked with tears. Despite the pangs of guilt I felt at watching his sombre face, I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at his snores.
"I knew I made a good decision by investing in those human earplug companies," Devil muttered.
"Hey, the screen changed pretty fast," I said.
"Time and I are ex-flames. She doesn't mind jogging up for me at times," he grinned. "You dated Time?" I asked. "No wonder she's so bipolar."
He scowled as he snapped his fingers again and Ranveer appeared in front of us. I tried to get out of my bed and hug him, but Devil stopped me. Ranveer rushed forward to hug me too, but some kind of magnetic force threw him back.
"Hey Panchi," he said weakly, "What are you doing in my dreams?"
"It's not a dream," I said matter-of-factly. "We're in purgatory." He nodded his head. I was surprised. I'd expected him to challenge it, but he seemed so happy to see me, that nothing else mattered.
"Well well, let's get down to business instead of having emotional reunions," Devil said airily.
"Who the hell are you?" Ranveer shouted. "And why are you holding me back from my best friend?"
Devil sighed. "Really, isn't the fact that I go around looking handsome and have a tail sticking out of my butt enough indication of my identity? If I ever took on my real cosmic form, you'd immediately fall at my feet, but unfortunately it risks damaging your retinas-"
"Panchi tell the guy to shut up," Ranveer said, folding his arms. "He talks too much."
"What is wrong with you people? You sound like all my ex-girlfriends you know? They all complained that I talk too much and never give them any time-"
Ranveer gave me a The guy is psycho look. I wanted to laugh, but suddenly, all the anger over the Ayesha incident came rushing to the surface. The nerve of the guy to smile when he should be begging forgiveness from me right now!
"Anyway," Devil said, stopping mid-rant, " I'm Devil, without the 'THE' you human beings like attaching to me.I'm here to give you a choice."
Ranveer scoffed. "You don't exist," he said.
Devil gave me a pained look. "Look why don't you just take this whole thing as a dream and behave accordingly?" he said sweetly.
Ranveer looked at me, and then back to him. "What choice?"
"You can have Panchi back. But you see, Departmental rules require me to take back somebody else in exchange for her. Basically, you."
Ranveer stared at him. "Ermm, so I'm supposed to die in order to let Panchi live?"
"Think of the bright side," Devil said, "you get to meet your parents."
"No," Ranveer said shaking his head, "I don't get this. We're best friends. We're supposed to live and die together. "
"Yeah well, right now you need to think of the larger picture. Just imagine, who do you think the world would be a better place with: Panchi or you?"
Ranveer looked at me, begging for help, but I remained mum.. I really wanted Devil to shut up and realize that Nonu was the one for me. And that meant I couldn't give him a hint of what was going on.
"Is this a test?" he asked. I tried not to laugh. Nonu was just too smart.
"Urrggghhh! No, this whole thing is a dream, and Panchi and I are a dream, so just tell me what your heart tells you," Devil said, frustrated that his plan might be falling apart.
Ranveer came up to me. This time Devil didn't do anything. He just watched the two of us cautiously.
"Panchi," he said, holding my hand. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you. Please don't forget me okay?" Then he turned to face Devil. "Take me!" he cried dramatically. "I don't care if this is a test or a dream. I just want Panchi to live okay? Or else I won't be able to forgive myself. Please."
I didn't know whether to giggle or to cry. Nonu looked like he was on crack. Maybe it's right you know, what they say, about grief turning you crazy.
"No no no!" Devil said, jumping up and down. "That's not what you're supposed to say!"
"Dude, just take me," Ranveer sniffled. "Take me before I change my mind and decide that I don't want Panchi to live without me."
"It's okay," Devil scowled. "Be together, you two lovebirds. Urgh, this is why I hate you humans. Emotional fools!" He shouted out a volley of what sounded like intergalactic curses before disintegrating into nothingness.
"Ranveer?" I asked softly. "Are you okay?"
Ranveer looked at me. "I'm not okay," he said, hiccupping.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry," I smiled. He smiled too.
"This is just a crazy dream, but I hope you get to live in real life too. Actually I know," he said, some of that familiar Shergill confidence returning.
I shrugged. "Maybe. Devil is a funny guy. He might just decide to keep me here for a few days to torture you," I smirked.
"It's okay," he said. "I deserve it." He kissed me on the cheek, and something inside me exploded. "Bye Panchi," he said, before disappearing.
As if on cue, Devil reappeared. "I saw that," he said. "It was sickening."
"You jerk!" I screamed, throwing a pillow at him. "Couldn't you have let it be two seconds more?"
"You have a lifetime Panchi," he shrugged. "Unlike me," he sighed. "Forever lonely because of my talkativeness."
"You should give it a second go with Time. I think she's still into you," I advised.
"What do you think I was doing till now?" he smirked. It was then that I noticed his disheveled appearance, and we both burst out into laughter. "What to say," he said sheepishly. "Got inspired by you.You still have two hours left. Want to see The Most Embarassing Moments on Earth, episode 21?" he asked.
Two hours of intergalactic TV and then a lifetime with Nonu. Not a bad idea really.
okay. I have no idea what that was. Just hoped you liked it
Edited by IndigoBlues - 06 December 2012 at 9:37am