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Why I cannot sympathize with Shireen?

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Rupunzale

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Rupunzale

Joined: 05 June 2012

Posts: 4753

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 6:24pm | IP Logged
Why I cannot sympathize with Shireen ? 

Rashid  wants to pursue Dilshad and he is voluntarily moving forward with his desire. Till now from the facts we can presume that Rashid left Dilshad for Shireen. Maybe it was for a better life or because he was truly in love with Shireen, we don't know that, but he did leave Dilshad and his kids. We all make choices everyday and Rashid made his choice too. He chose Shireen. Did Shireen make a choice too? Yes, she did. She made a choice to pursue Rashid knowing that he was married and had a kid( presuming from the story synopsis in Zee tv). 

Did she think about Asad? He was a child when his farther abandoned him and his mother? That has to be the most traumatic experience of his life. 

It has been long 17 yrs and now Rashid wants to pursue Dilshad...he is going behind Shireen's back and in the process is been disloyal to her. A woman doesn't deserve this and I would have liked to feel sorry for Shireen but I don't . 

I cannot feel sorry because Shireen hasn't ever felt sorry or guilty for Dilshad , Asad or Najma. 

She is portrayed as a naive and gullible woman...but this very naive woman hasn't ever thought about what Dilshad must have gone through. It wasn't Asad's or Najma's fault...was it? 

As a viewer all my love and sympathy right now is for Dilshad. She is the epitome of grace and dignity.i hope she stays away from Rashid because he doesn't deserve her.
 

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gems4sana

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gems4sana

Joined: 20 February 2012

Posts: 320

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 7:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Rupunzale

Why I cannot sympathize with Shireen ? 

Rashid  wants to pursue Dilshad and he is voluntarily moving forward with his desire. Till now from the facts we can presume that Rashid left Dilshad for Shireen. Maybe it was for a better life or because he was truly in love with Shireen, we don't know that, but he did leave Dilshad and his kids. We all make choices everyday and Rashid made his choice too. He chose Shireen. Did Shireen make a choice too? Yes, she did. She made a choice to pursue Rashid knowing that he was married and had a kid( presuming from the story synopsis in Zee tv). 

Did she think about Asad? He was a child when his farther abandoned him and his mother? That has to be the most traumatic experience of his life. 

It has been long 17 yrs and now Rashid wants to pursue Dilshad...he is going behind Shireen's back and in the process is been disloyal to her. A woman doesn't deserve this and I would have liked to feel sorry for Shireen but I don't . 

I cannot feel sorry because Shireen hasn't ever felt sorry or guilty for Dilshad , Asad or Najma. 

She is portrayed as a naive and gullible woman...but this very naive woman hasn't ever thought about what Dilshad must have gone through. It wasn't Asad's or Najma's fault...was it? 

As a viewer all my love and sympathy right now is for Dilshad. She is the epitome of grace and dignity.i hope she stays away from Rashid because he doesn't deserve her.
 

But isn't that what naive people do - not think? That's what makes them naive and gullible. And looking at the way Razia manipulates her its easy to see why she doesn't think...Razia probably poisoned her mind in the very beginning so she doesn't even care to think about Dilshad & co. I think Shireen did feel a bit sorry for Asad, Najma - as children, especially in the first week or so episodes. 

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Rupunzale

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Rupunzale

Joined: 05 June 2012

Posts: 4753

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by gems4emma

Originally posted by Rupunzale

Why I cannot sympathize with Shireen ? 

Rashid  wants to pursue Dilshad and he is voluntarily moving forward with his desire. Till now from the facts we can presume that Rashid left Dilshad for Shireen. Maybe it was for a better life or because he was truly in love with Shireen, we don't know that, but he did leave Dilshad and his kids. We all make choices everyday and Rashid made his choice too. He chose Shireen. Did Shireen make a choice too? Yes, she did. She made a choice to pursue Rashid knowing that he was married and had a kid( presuming from the story synopsis in Zee tv). 

Did she think about Asad? He was a child when his farther abandoned him and his mother? That has to be the most traumatic experience of his life. 

It has been long 17 yrs and now Rashid wants to pursue Dilshad...he is going behind Shireen's back and in the process is been disloyal to her. A woman doesn't deserve this and I would have liked to feel sorry for Shireen but I don't . 

I cannot feel sorry because Shireen hasn't ever felt sorry or guilty for Dilshad , Asad or Najma. 

She is portrayed as a naive and gullible woman...but this very naive woman hasn't ever thought about what Dilshad must have gone through. It wasn't Asad's or Najma's fault...was it? 

As a viewer all my love and sympathy right now is for Dilshad. She is the epitome of grace and dignity.i hope she stays away from Rashid because he doesn't deserve her.
 

But isn't that what naive people do - not think? That's what makes them naive and gullible. And looking at the way Razia manipulates her its easy to see why she doesn't think...Razia probably poisoned her mind in the very beginning so she doesn't even care to think about Dilshad & co. I think Shireen did feel a bit sorry for Asad, Najma - as children, especially in the first week or so episodes. 
A naive person wouldn't knowingly ever pursue a married man...I don't think Razia would knowingly want Shireen to pursue a married married. I have a feeling that on the insistence of Shireen...razia's husband asked Rahid to make a choice. Mamujaan seems very orthodox and I don't know whether Bhopal has a different Muslim marriage law where you can have more than one marriage. 

One of my very good friend is an American Muslim and after watching QH I had a talk with her...she specifically said that Islam permits a second marriage only if the previous wife is barren and the man obliges to give equal status and wealth to the respective wives. There cannot be any kind of partiality. My friend believes that no man can give two women the equal status and hence indirectly Islam doesn't encourage a second marriage.

Now in this case Rashid completely abondened Dishad and her kids which is unacceptable and Shireen was fine with it.

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Mehek25

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Mehek25

Joined: 01 September 2009

Posts: 8946

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 7:53pm | IP Logged
@Rupunzale...

I also had the same feelings towards Shireen initially...But then I realised that why is the 'other woman' always to be blamed in such cases???

Rashid is equally or should I say even more guilty than Shireen...Infact if he left Dilshad because of Shireen's money and luxuries then he is definitely not a person worth caring about...But till we know trhe circustances leading to Rashis leaving Dilshad and marrying Shireen we can't stand on judgement against him...

From some scenes and dialogues I  something think his mother is the villain of the piece and she is responsible for all this mess...Lets wait and see how it develops...I actually feel sorry for both Dilshad and Shireen...Just hope Zoya does not get into trouble with the family and with Asad by helping Rashid...Think Asad will come to know and maybe throw her out of his house...

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gems4sana

Senior Member

gems4sana

Joined: 20 February 2012

Posts: 320

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 8:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Rupunzale

Originally posted by gems4emma

Originally posted by Rupunzale

Why I cannot sympathize with Shireen ? 

Rashid  wants to pursue Dilshad and he is voluntarily moving forward with his desire. Till now from the facts we can presume that Rashid left Dilshad for Shireen. Maybe it was for a better life or because he was truly in love with Shireen, we don't know that, but he did leave Dilshad and his kids. We all make choices everyday and Rashid made his choice too. He chose Shireen. Did Shireen make a choice too? Yes, she did. She made a choice to pursue Rashid knowing that he was married and had a kid( presuming from the story synopsis in Zee tv). 

Did she think about Asad? He was a child when his farther abandoned him and his mother? That has to be the most traumatic experience of his life. 

It has been long 17 yrs and now Rashid wants to pursue Dilshad...he is going behind Shireen's back and in the process is been disloyal to her. A woman doesn't deserve this and I would have liked to feel sorry for Shireen but I don't . 

I cannot feel sorry because Shireen hasn't ever felt sorry or guilty for Dilshad , Asad or Najma. 

She is portrayed as a naive and gullible woman...but this very naive woman hasn't ever thought about what Dilshad must have gone through. It wasn't Asad's or Najma's fault...was it? 

As a viewer all my love and sympathy right now is for Dilshad. She is the epitome of grace and dignity.i hope she stays away from Rashid because he doesn't deserve her.
 

But isn't that what naive people do - not think? That's what makes them naive and gullible. And looking at the way Razia manipulates her its easy to see why she doesn't think...Razia probably poisoned her mind in the very beginning so she doesn't even care to think about Dilshad & co. I think Shireen did feel a bit sorry for Asad, Najma - as children, especially in the first week or so episodes. 
A naive person wouldn't knowingly ever pursue a married man...I don't think Razia would knowingly want Shireen to pursue a married married. I have a feeling that on the insistence of Shireen...razia's husband asked Rahid to make a choice. Mamujaan seems very orthodox and I don't know whether Bhopal has a different Muslim marriage law where you can have more than one marriage. 

One of my very good friend is an American Muslim and after watching QH I had a talk with her...she specifically said that Islam permits a second marriage only if the previous wife is barren and the man obliges to give equal status and wealth to the respective wives. There cannot be any kind of partiality. My friend believes that no man can give two women the equal status and hence indirectly Islam doesn't encourage a second marriage.

Now in this case Rashid completely abondened Dishad and her kids which is unacceptable and Shireen was fine with it.

That's pretty cool because I'm an American Muslim too :) I actually went to an Islamic school for 14 years. 
Islam does permit a second marriage if the previous wife is barren, but also if its a time of war and there are alot of widows/orphans. Also, since Islam has 4 different schools of thought - meaning for different types of scholarly thinking that interpret the Quran and Prophet's sayings differently, some of the schools of thoughts allow a man to make a 2nd marriage (or 3rd..or 4th) if he deeply gravely fears that if he doesn't, he'll commit adultery (because that's unacceptable in Islam, as it is anywhere). 
So perhaps she comes from a different school of thought?

Your friend is right in that status and wealth should be equal to each wife (but jsut to clear up issues, that does NOT mean that equal amount of children or equal amount of love in the heart, because thats simply not always possible). And Islam does indirectly not encourage a second marriage to everyone, there's a bunch of evidence pointing to that. So in that sense, she's spot on :) 

We don't know if Shireen was fond of it. We still have to uncover the murky past. All we do know is that Rashid left Dilshad for Shireen, whether she had a hand in it or not, whether he was forced or not. And of course abandoning your kids and wife is unacceptable, which is why I hold Rashid mainly responsible. 

And in India, there are religious codes in its secular law, meaning Muslims can marry more than one, but other religions, like Hindus, can't. Thats why Dharmendra and Hema Malini had to sneakily get married like that (which totally wasn't cool, btw). 

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RupunzaleThe.Lannister

Rupunzale

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Rupunzale

Joined: 05 June 2012

Posts: 4753

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 8:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mehek25

@Rupunzale...

I also had the same feelings towards Shireen initially...But then I realised that why is the 'other woman' always to be blamed in such cases???

Rashid is equally or should I say even more guilty than Shireen...Infact if he left Dilshad because of Shireen's money and luxuries then he is definitely not a person worth caring about...But till we know trhe circustances leading to Rashis leaving Dilshad and marrying Shireen we can't stand on judgement against him...

From some scenes and dialogues I  something think his mother is the villain of the piece and she is responsible for all this mess...Lets wait and see how it develops...I actually feel sorry for both Dilshad and Shireen...Just hope Zoya does not get into trouble with the family and with Asad by helping Rashid...Think Asad will come to know and maybe throw her out of his house...
hi mehek...I completely agree that the other woman shouldn't be blamed. The man is equally responsible in fact more. This is how I feel on the basis of all the information so far. Rashid's mom might be the cause of the whole circumstances but nevertheless there is always a choice. The choices we make affects our present and future. In this case lot of ppl have made wrong choices.

Zoya is already involved and there is no turning back now I think. I think it's too early for Asad to find out about Zoya and rashid's friendship...I think Asad might throw zoya out for a completely different reason. But here again I can be completely wrong. 

Rupunzale

IF-Dazzler

Rupunzale

Joined: 05 June 2012

Posts: 4753

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by gems4emma

Originally posted by Rupunzale

Originally posted by gems4emma

Originally posted by Rupunzale

Why I cannot sympathize with Shireen ? 

Rashid  wants to pursue Dilshad and he is voluntarily moving forward with his desire. Till now from the facts we can presume that Rashid left Dilshad for Shireen. Maybe it was for a better life or because he was truly in love with Shireen, we don't know that, but he did leave Dilshad and his kids. We all make choices everyday and Rashid made his choice too. He chose Shireen. Did Shireen make a choice too? Yes, she did. She made a choice to pursue Rashid knowing that he was married and had a kid( presuming from the story synopsis in Zee tv). 

Did she think about Asad? He was a child when his farther abandoned him and his mother? That has to be the most traumatic experience of his life. 

It has been long 17 yrs and now Rashid wants to pursue Dilshad...he is going behind Shireen's back and in the process is been disloyal to her. A woman doesn't deserve this and I would have liked to feel sorry for Shireen but I don't . 

I cannot feel sorry because Shireen hasn't ever felt sorry or guilty for Dilshad , Asad or Najma. 

She is portrayed as a naive and gullible woman...but this very naive woman hasn't ever thought about what Dilshad must have gone through. It wasn't Asad's or Najma's fault...was it? 

As a viewer all my love and sympathy right now is for Dilshad. She is the epitome of grace and dignity.i hope she stays away from Rashid because he doesn't deserve her.
 

But isn't that what naive people do - not think? That's what makes them naive and gullible. And looking at the way Razia manipulates her its easy to see why she doesn't think...Razia probably poisoned her mind in the very beginning so she doesn't even care to think about Dilshad & co. I think Shireen did feel a bit sorry for Asad, Najma - as children, especially in the first week or so episodes. 
A naive person wouldn't knowingly ever pursue a married man...I don't think Razia would knowingly want Shireen to pursue a married married. I have a feeling that on the insistence of Shireen...razia's husband asked Rahid to make a choice. Mamujaan seems very orthodox and I don't know whether Bhopal has a different Muslim marriage law where you can have more than one marriage. 

One of my very good friend is an American Muslim and after watching QH I had a talk with her...she specifically said that Islam permits a second marriage only if the previous wife is barren and the man obliges to give equal status and wealth to the respective wives. There cannot be any kind of partiality. My friend believes that no man can give two women the equal status and hence indirectly Islam doesn't encourage a second marriage.

Now in this case Rashid completely abondened Dishad and her kids which is unacceptable and Shireen was fine with it.

That's pretty cool because I'm an American Muslim too :) I actually went to an Islamic school for 14 years. 
Islam does permit a second marriage if the previous wife is barren, but also if its a time of war and there are alot of widows/orphans. Also, since Islam has 4 different schools of thought - meaning for different types of scholarly thinking that interpret the Quran and Prophet's sayings differently, some of the schools of thoughts allow a man to make a 2nd marriage (or 3rd..or 4th) if he deeply gravely fears that if he doesn't, he'll commit adultery (because that's unacceptable in Islam, as it is anywhere). 
So perhaps she comes from a different school of thought?

Your friend is right in that status and wealth should be equal to each wife (but jsut to clear up issues, that does NOT mean that equal amount of children or equal amount of love in the heart, because thats simply not always possible). And Islam does indirectly not encourage a second marriage to everyone, there's a bunch of evidence pointing to that. So in that sense, she's spot on :) 

We don't know if Shireen was fond of it. We still have to uncover the murky past. All we do know is that Rashid left Dilshad for Shireen, whether she had a hand in it or not, whether he was forced or not. And of course abandoning your kids and wife is unacceptable, which is why I hold Rashid mainly responsible. 

And in India, there are religious codes in its secular law, meaning Muslims can marry more than one, but other religions, like Hindus, can't. Thats why Dharmendra and Hema Malini had to sneakily get married like that (which totally wasn't cool, btw). 
that's great... I am so fascinated to learn the various aspects of this culture. My friend is a wonderful person and she was very open in explaining me about the marriage laws. She personally doesn't like the whole concept of second marriage in Islam but again in America it's a crime and as you said Indian laws are different. 
 Honestly I cannot stand Rashid...abandoning a wife and children is so inhumane...that too when his society permitted a second marriage he should have been there for his children. I feel so bad for Asad and Najma...Najma is such an innocent girl.

serenagirl1005

Senior Member

serenagirl1005

Joined: 29 December 2006

Posts: 573

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 8:48pm | IP Logged
i am an american muslim and although islam permits a man to having upto 4 wives, im so not for that. however just like most of you said, there is definite rules to having multiple wives. The most important rule is that EVERYTHING between the wives must be equal which is nearly impossible to do so it is better to have just one wife with no fear of sin. it goes to say that if the man cannot support a wife and family then he shouldnt marry until he can. I feel totally bad for shirin because her love so far is shown to be pure and she is married to a man who is now back to pursuing his first wife. Now if she knew he was married to begin with then shame on her but rashid should have the guts to say that he wants his first wife back. seriously considering him a coward right now

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