Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 05 June 2012
Joined: 18 January 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
What rohan asked was simple question but it stirred so many memories in her heart …long forgotten memories of Ashuthosh! She closed her eyes as his smiling face flashed in her mind …like bright sunshine it warmed her, soother her heart! …She found herself back in those days when life was easy and uncomplicated, where he waited for her every evening near tea shop ….where they both sat watching sun go down over the horizon, sipping strong adrak chai …where he recited poems of his choices, in his deep husky voice….where she used to sit looking into his deep eyes….
She was jolted out of her thoughts when rohan asked her …" So what happened?"
Nidhi shrugged her shoulder" nothing happened …."
Rohan looked at her disapprovingly "you mean to say, there is no story?"
" of course there was ! Else why you think I still remember him …."
"Then tell me what happened?"
"Rohan , can't you just drop this subject ….whatever it was , its ended !"
" No , I can't drop this subject and what do you mean by ended …..And when this happened?, Nidhi its better you tell me ……Please "
Nidhi sighed , to her to talk about him felt like remembering long forgotten dream , beautiful dream indeed ….Looking at Rohan's expectant face ..she smiled " I don't know why he came …or what made him leave abruptly …still not sure ! it's like puzzle which I can't solve .."
" ohh stop talking in riddles …"
Nidhi smiled "He was more like riddle to me, still! ….its during my graduation days, when you were away to do your masters …. He came to our college as professor….with his high qualified foreign degrees and good experience he could have got high paying job in cities but I don't know why he preferred to come to Lucknow …..he was way too handsome and he had that sweet smile which can easily kill anyone …All girls used to die to get a glimpse of him. He was different from everyone completely, so unlike those boys who never left a single chance to show off … kind , gentle and shy , more like lost little boy to my eyes ….." Rohan smiled looking at her face , right at that moment , Nidhi looked so different , not the helpless girl but someone he never seen …there was smile on her face when she talked about him as if she is remembering a beautiful dream after so many years
Sensing his silence she continued …."Whenever I saw him, I felt there was something in him, deep and vast inside his heart which he always kept to himself…something which he can't share with anyone ….!"
Rohan stared at her " did you went out with him …..Nidhi , you dated your professor ..Not bad!
Nidhi smiled " No , We never dated , I don't know what to call it ….Even though he never acknowledged our relations ….but I can't deny the fact that something was there between us …it was there "
"Why he left ?"
Nidhi shook her head …" I don't know, one day I went to his place and found it locked and soon after that we got the news that he resigned ……"
"Dint you tried to contact him…."
" I tried ….But I couldn't reach him, sometime I wonder did he really came into my life …."
Rohan looked at her " you loved him dint you ?"
Nidhi smiled " yes , I did …Loved him immensely, as much as 20yr old can love ..Look at you why are you asking these questions? ….are you jealous? "
Rohan snorted "jealous of him why? …"
"dint you just said that you love me and want to marry me ?"
"Ohhh , Nidhi you took it seriously , poor you ….I was just joking !"
Nidhi chuckled looking at his face and pushed him away playfully …Rohan smiled and glared at her in mock anger " Nidhi , you are such a liar …!"
" what ? ….."
" I said you are liar …."
"why you think , I am lying ?"
"Then why are you using past tense ….You still love him not loved him! I can see that in your face …." Nidhi looked away to hide her expression " I don't know …..!"
"Did he loved you?"
Nidhi buried her face and after a while she looked up …" yes , I think so ……May be He loved me more than I loved him !"
Ashuthosh saved the presentation which he was working on and shut down his system...he stretched his body and closed his eyes. he sat like that for some time and got up to move towards parking lot ….
The night was dark and chilly; Darkness was deep with scatter of stars and sickle of moon .he moved towards deserted road piercing through darkness .He could hear sound of sea splashing to shore and the light humming sound of music playing in nearby pub ….it checked his watch to find its nearing to 12 …he speeded and reached home and pulled his car in drive way. HK opened door for him and waited until he settled down on couch ..." Ashuthosh beta ….Khana laga doon ?"
Ashuthosh shook his head " Nahi kaka , aap sojayiye , main baad main kha loonga .."
Hk nodded his head and went inside….after sometime, hurrying up the stairs; he went to Ayan's room to find his son sleeping peacefully, he bent down and slowly kissed his forehead …the child stirred in his sleep and half opened his eyes enquiringly to look at Ashuthosh .after Ayan drifted back to his slumber slowly Ashuthosh got up , left the bedroom and closed the bedroom behind him , leaning slightly there for a moment before walking down to his room.
In his room , Ashuthosh moved towards huge glass window overlooking city, he pressed his hand on it and looked out at those shimmering lights of city …To him , it always felt in this city ,architecture , these huge building breath more than humans live in it ….to him it felt like they just exist! .they all looked same , like zombie ..caught up in this never ending exhausting materialistic life … He turned around to stare at his dead wife's photo …her warm smile speeded across her face …he stared at her face, she always looked like stranger to him even when he got married to her , even when she died just a month after their marriage..He did not felt tiniest pain when he got the news that she died. It worried him and same time made him feel guilty. Every night he stared at her photo just for few minutes as if he is trying to memories her face because strangely he started forgetting her face and everything related to her ..!
Thinking all these, he striped off his clothes, leaving them like dump on his cold floor...he walked under power shower. He switched it on as needles of cold water bounced on his bare chest and shoulder …keeping his palms flattened on tiles he wondered … He paused and tried to remember when is that , he last laughed his heart out and when is that he felt brutally alive …as if answer to his question her face flashed in his mind ..he remembered ,looking at her , waiting for her every evening ….he can smell her , the heady taunting fragrance of her ….his nidhi's !
He remembered going to Lucknow when he felt life was freezing him with its mundane routine. He remembered lurking in those streets like lost little boy searching something which will make him love his life, which will make him alive ….. Like answer to his prayers, he found her …..He remembered her young and leggy … with her thick dark hair tumbling down her back and he remembered the sound of her laughter …. she had the loudest laughter he ever heard, at first he resented it but later on ,he kind of started liking it..her laughter always bewitched him…it was more innocent and beautiful ! It was her smile which made him fall in love with her head over heels, it was her innocence which drived him to her …..Her simple nature to trust and accept a person as he is, made him fall in love with her …
Not sure when and how. He couldn't remember how it started..there were time when he thought he lived every moment wanting her and it terrified him , this overwhelming feeling forming in his existence …he wondered how many nights he slept aching for her ….it amazed him, the power she still have over him after all these years . He don't have to search for her photo to memorize her face , just closing his eyes ..he can see her , feel her ….hear her giggles echoing in his heart making crave for her even more …..
He turned off the shower and stood there until last droplet fell on his neck….looking down at floor, suddenly he felt terribly depressed and lonely …a feeling pushed him to tears like he will never be able to rekindle the feeling what once he felt for nidhi again in his life …like he will never be able to feel loved and beloved again. Standing there he cursed himself, for leaving her so abruptly ….he cursed himself for leaving her behind...for breaking her heart. For spoiling everything ….that moment, in gnawing emptiness he missed her terribly …ached for her ….and longed for her presence as thick warm tears trickled down his face…he wept for her , for him ..And for them!
After spending sleepless night in his king size bed, Ashuthosh got up and got ready for his early morning jog …. He prefer this time, this early morning to ready himself for another mundane life... He looked around and saw joggers busy stretching, extending their muscles, some simply sitting watching deep ocean just enjoying the serene silence …. In between vegetables vendors getting ready for their another day , selling buying …trying to survive another day
He let his head fall back and gazed into dark blue sky...he wondered, how strange it is where below everything is such chaos and messy when up there ..In sky, peaceful and sweet with genteelness!
He bought; big balloon for Ayan on his way back from the boy who always stood near ocean, shivering in early morning cold .hurriedly he reached his son's bedroom and saw that he is still fast asleep, with his plump hand clutching his teddy ….he was sleeping peacefully!
Ashuthosh ruffled his hair and tied the balloon to nearby table. …!
After getting ready, he came down to see BB sitting on dining table with his breakfast; he joined Bb wishing him good morning …..Soon Ayan was led to table by his nanny Martha ….Bb coughed to get his attention " Ashuthosh , tomorrow is out flight …..you remember rite ? about our holiday plan ..Mine and HK "
Ashu nodded his head still chewing his food …." Yes baba …"
" You should have at least asked me once before sending us on holiday …how you will manage ..Even ayan will be alone without us .."
"he will be fine Baba , don't worry ..Martha is here to take care of him …"Ashuthosh Smiled at his son, who was staring at him expectantly …after a while Ayan gave him faint smile and nodded his head. After that there was awkward silence between them ….Ayan looked up indicating he is done with his breakfast , and soon he was led to his room to get ready for school ..Before going, slowly he turned around and looked at Ashuthosh and muttered "Thank you Baba ….For Balloon "
Ashuthosh barely smiled and nodded his head
Bb who was looking at this clutched ashuthosh's hand "Ashuthosh , I now …can understand your busy schedule but give some time to Ayan ! …He is still kid and he need you right now …..Without us he might feel alone"
" Baba , it's not that I don't want to spend time with him …you know my routine and …he will not alone …as I said ,Martha will be there for him all the time "
BB Looked away …" She is not his parent Ashuthosh …she is his nanny and as I said ..he needs you …his baba not some nanny to take care of his needs ..I know, can understand but daily few hours with him might cheer him …..Lately he became very silent and it is troubling me…At this age of his, it's so unusual to be so quiet …"
Ashuthosh pondered over what baba said and nodded his head" yes baba , I will ….take care of him , you don't worry "
And Bb understood that it is end of subject …As Ashuthosh got up collecting his things to go to office.
Nidhi picked up the call; it was from Rohan "Nidhi, whats up? …."
"Rohan, how come you called at this time …."
" I have off today , so wondering will you be there in your caffe ? can I drop in ….?"
" yes , I will be here till 2 and then I have a interview to attend .."
" cool ..I am coming, In between ..is Manya round ?"
" why ?"
" ohh nothing ..just thinking to flirt around with her for a bit ….."
Nidhi huffed ..." oh please rohan, Perish the thought …she don't even let you come near her , she have brains not like your anorexic girl friends …"
Rohan chuckled …" by the way , do your caffe serve kopi luwak ?"
" no , what is it ?"
" its coffee made of animal poop …."
" eeks , don't tell me , you want to drink that ….!"
" yes , I want to …"
" get off my phone rohan …you are dirty "
Rohan chuckled as he hung up the phone …..
Ashuthosh Came to his cabin to find MR tyagi waiting for him …" Hello Ashuthosh, good afternoon ….Heard you acquired those gold mine deals not bad haan …." He smiled showing his tobacco stained teeth. Ashuthosh briefly nodded his head and sank in his chair … he disliked this man, completely and thoroughly …for being such a mean hearted person .he even heard stories of him flirting around openly with young employees, trying to lure them with his power ….He can stand anything but not this ….but still, he has to get along since the man has some brains, he know how to manage, manipulate a person which is most needed in corporate world.. He was pulled out to reality, as his HR representative came inside "Sir , we shortlisted some candidates ….if you are ready , can I send them inside for final round ? "
Ashuthosh took the file and briefly checked few entries …" yes, Please …..!"
Mr tyagi , who was observing this exchange of words , stopped HR guy and asked .."….who is the first candidate...?"
HR guy checked his notepad and spoke "sir , Nidhi ..nidhi verma …"
Ashuthosh who was busy looking at files suddenly looked up …..Mere mention of her name sent thousands of thoughts running in his head …He heard Tyagi muttering under his breath " …Nice name though ….! " giving leering smile at the door …Ashuthosh controlled his rage which is building up , he so wanted to smash this guy's face just right there ….Before he could even react , he heard door to his cabin clicked open and there she was standing ……His Nidhi ! With eyes empty with pained reality ….swelling with exhaustion! He barely recognized her ..the Nidhi he knew looked lost somewhere on the way …the smile he loved the most was replaced with disdain ..And even in that situation, to have her back in front of him, stirred all memoires , churning up with fresh sprouts of love and longing …And right there he understood , sensed …felt that he loved her outrageously , endlessly and he still do …Love her same way!
Please do comment
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