Dear Sweety, Grow up.

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Freethinker112

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Joined: 16 May 2012

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Posted: 29 November 2012 at 10:53am | IP Logged

Ah, the age old quandary! The struggle, which seems to have a beginning at the dawn of man. Everyone tries to find their way around it, but find themselves caught in the middle. Goes by many names, such as generation gap. Yes we are talking about upbringing, Parvarrish, both the title and the theme of the show.

"Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it."

The whole problem can be summed up in the comment above. Everybody has a thought process which molds up in beliefs and opinions. But, surprise surprise, there are 7 billion people out there. So yeah, common sense dictates, there will be variation in thoughts. And this variance, which seems good amongst friends, takes the form of struggle between generations. We have this dire need to be right. First the generation thinks it is smarter than parents and when they become parents, now they think they know better because they are older. But we are told that when you are kid you are wrong, but when the same kid turns into a parent one day, he becomes right. There is just one fault with the logic, the person is the same. So, what is being actually said that he is both right and wrong. Things get contradictory and the statement falls down.

Now, coming to Sweety. Her behavior does not exactly match her name. We are shown a controlling and dominating mother. She wants the good of her children, rather what she thinks is her good for children, which is true most of the times but not always. But her means are, let's just say, not always satisfactory. So, do the ends justify the means? I think not.

So, the kids, like every other kids out there, wants her to loosen up a little. Be a little more liberal, be more cool. A little less nagging here, some small freedom there. A good request, which could have proved beneficial for the whole family. But does Sweety behave like a mature adult and tries to improve herself? No. She is blind with the bias that she is right and in fact starts childish plans to teach the family a lesson.

She thinks eating junk food daily is cool? No mam, it isn't. Following nutrition is cool. Sometimes, cheat meals are allowed so that a person doesn't fall back from their diet, but planning is necessary. So earlier, she never let them eat anything from outside without scolding or taunting. And now, she is following the other extreme, always eating outside. She could have taken the middle ground, and could have decided a day every fortnight when they could have satisfied their taste buds, but no. Why behave like an adult when you can teach your family a lesson?

She thinks expensive shopping is cool. Sorry to disappoint Sweety, but again not true. A middle class person can be cool. Coolness is a part of personality. You could have millions of dollars, but a uncool person will still remain uncool. Mandira's husband is much richer than Lucky, she can afford that much shopping. While lucky cannot. So, having expensive clothing does not make you cool, coolness doesn't depend on your economic status. But no. Why think when you can just burn through savings for show off to teach the family a lesson?

Sweety thinks not caring is cool. Again, breaking news, it isn't. Being cool is keeping tab on children without constant nagging. Giving them advice, guidance. Listening to their problems, and yeah, contrary to the popular belief, kids too have a life and problems, and yes they are important too. Then solving their problems, correcting them if you think they are doing wrong. Then they can be left to decide, with the help of your opinions and their own. But no. Who needs to behave maturely? Either she will take each and every decision of the kids or will just remain aloof. Why try middle ground, it just doesn't cut it for her. After all she has to teach the family a lesson? What was the lesson by the way? Does Sweety even remember it, or has it just become some ego-stroking match?

So, the point of of it all is that people are not perfect. And the last time I checked, parents are people too. So, being adults, they should be the first one to own up their mistakes and try to improve, so that kids can learn from that. Same thing was asked of Sweety, to let go of her want to be in control always, and give the kids space. But the lady jumped from Listen-to-me-because-you-know-nothing end to the other I-don't-care-what-happens-to-you-because-I-am-so-cool end. Not cool Sweety, definitely not cool. And even now, she doesn't understand the problem nor wants to rectify it, but is practically blackmailing the family into wanting the old Sweety back, so that she could say, "I told you so." Well, guess what, everyone will prefer a caring mother to an aloof mother. But a cool mother would be even better. And no, she is not cool currently. She doesn't even understand what being cool means. She will feel a winner by the end, while she would be the loser without even realizing.

So, an adult mother, who instead of presenting an example before kids, is trying childish plans to make her family beg her to return to old avatar, so that her ego, which says she is perfect, is soothed. So, my sincere request to you Sweety, please grow up.

Edited by Freethinker112 - 29 November 2012 at 11:04am

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amarjeet73

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Joined: 10 January 2008

Posts: 104

Posted: 29 November 2012 at 11:20am | IP Logged

I agree with you

they shoudnot be showing this type of image it is wrong

may be they donot understand the meaning of being cool

means you should become friends to your children not become a western women.

this is not working at all.

I am living in western, but I donot wear these coool dresses to impress my children or to control my family.

the thing is she should recognise the problem and solve it

I like the way JEET teaches his chiildren. Jeet doesnot wear western dresses to teach Ravi in kitchen in previous episode. so nicely he talks to his daughter and explain thing to her that what is wrong and what is right.

I think CV should read some parenting books or consult some one who can better understand the behavior of teen.

The way sweety has chosen is not right either.

Edited by amarjeet73 - 29 November 2012 at 11:27am

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prerna4rishav

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Posted: 29 November 2012 at 12:48pm | IP Logged

I strongly beg to differ ..

I can actually compare my parents, specially Mom with Sweety ji.. And I find Sweety ji MUCH more liberal than what my mom is..

Rocky is allowed to use an ipod.. I was allowed to buy a china model of mp3 player when I was in 3rd yr college.. He has got pocket money from eleventh standard which was like our DREAM.. In college, I, along with all my other friends, had to EARN our pocket money through tuitions.. They have outside food permissions and all like twice a month.. We had it in our family twice a YEAR ! I dont see Sweety nagging Rocky much in holidays after board examz.. We had to attend our tuitions and start our studies for Class XI within a week of 10th board !

I wont say that whatever my parents did were correct and everyone should follow that.. But definitely I dont think my parents need to GROW up ! Thanks to them, today I am in an OK position to support myself in a big city.. And I am sure abt my sister too !

Mothers like Sweeties exist in HUGE numbers at least in Bengal.. Here parents are really serious abt their kids' lives n all.. Yeah it might seem extreme in many cases, but I have seen the outcome of the kids whose parents were SO COOL in terms of controlling them.. They can easily be called spoilt brats who neither know the value of money or time or hard work..

The risk of becoming a spoilt brat is less when mothers are not so cool.. :) People who have lots of money can afford to spend such lifestyle, we cant :)

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ShelDev

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Joined: 29 May 2007

Posts: 756

Posted: 29 November 2012 at 1:55pm | IP Logged

I loved your post! Exactly what was on my mind. This track is so dumb really...It's become all about Sweety now! Instead of understanding the real poblem she is behaving like a complete immature. Really who does all these kind of things! It's a pathetic track. Why are the CV's hell bent on proving that Sweety's way was RIGHT when it's definitely NOT!.

Being dominating, over controlling is not right. Mandira may be modern but she does give her son the freedom and so far from what we have seen he seems to have his head straight...He doesn't lie to his parents, he doesn't seem to be into any bad habits & when he spends money it's all for his friends and I see nothing wrong with that...

Sweety is way too controlling. She definitely needs to GROW UP...

Great Topic...

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amarjeet73

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Joined: 10 January 2008

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Posted: 29 November 2012 at 5:35pm | IP Logged

it is not correct thats if you are strict your kids will listen to you. i have seen many kids who lie when there parents are stricts.

parents doesnot know whats kids are doing?
for example in some case when I was in college most of the girls, I have seen wearing skirts in college and suits at home because there parents doesnot allow them to wear skirts.
so what they do buy a dress and go into the girls hostel change it and go where ever they want. come back and wear suits and go home.

It is really difficult to follow your kids.

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silvermoonlight

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Joined: 06 September 2006

Posts: 1641

Posted: 29 November 2012 at 7:42pm | IP Logged

the irony is that Sweety who thinks she is perfect is full of imperfections

something tells me after this whole fiasco Sweety will learn a lesson or two herself

I am just enjoying Sweety in her new avatar...what if she begins to like acting all posh and modern?

the biggest problem with mothers like Sweety .and yes they do exist in real life...is that their kids become their life. Sorry but that is not how a family should run. I still believe parents should go on date night once a week to have some time for themselves.

Provide your children with guidelines on how to be a good person rather than being a control freak

Mandira is shown as very extreme. I live in Canada and I know plenty a white folk that will whip their kids ass in no time for drinking, drugs etc etc

of course once a child is 18, white parents do cut the apron strings. brown parents make them tighter and tighter and refuse to let go...as is our Sweety

Edited by silvermoonlight - 29 November 2012 at 7:42pm

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_TaNi_

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 24 November 2011

Posts: 17477

Posted: 29 November 2012 at 8:55pm | IP Logged

First of all amazing post FT

Agree wid u completely...

Sweety ji is under a misconception that she is perfect in her way

i m not saying that she is wrong always..but she is also NOT right always...

i was actually a bit amused watching yesterday's epi...

The way she ordered junk food n asked dem to order sumthing d next day also was weird

My mom also ...she didnt let me eat junk food always...bec Nutrition is important

Wat i think is : She shud try to understand her children ,...she need to b a bit more liberal...she need to understand that hobbies (singing for ginny n football for Rocky ) are also important...

sweety ji thinks that they will waste d tym if dey willl concentrate on hobbies more then studies...but no it is nt true... i think dat instead of stopping dem from playing ...she hud try to make dem understand the importance of studies along wid activities...

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AhsaanBaig94

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Joined: 13 June 2012

Posts: 12980

Posted: 29 November 2012 at 11:04pm | IP Logged

Freethinker, "As Expected", a brilliant post... There is nothing in it. To be disagreed with... Buddy... Smile

Let me start from beginning...

First of all, the one reason to like Old Sweety. Old Sweety, look, Old Sweety is who? She is a complete Desi Mother. Who never breaks rules, whether the rules, which is created by her or the society or anything... Yes. Her way of following those rules is little different. Coz she makes you follow them even if you dont want... The effect of this is clearly be seen in her Kids. You'll never see her kids shouting to them pointing finger towards them. Okay. You'll say. Yeah...!!! "Yeh toh har bachh karta hai"... But, lively example is in the show. Raavi, What she did?? banged the door infront of her mother. Raashi, Saying her mother to Shut her mouth. Sunny, First destroyed the coffee and blaming Pinky for that in front of Jeet...
This is the difference Old Sweety created. Okay, Children should be allowed to express their feelings... But, if parents disagrees, you cant start war against them...
Just like this. There are lots of more reasons to like Old Sweety... Smile

Now, coming towards your topic, which is "New Sweety". From which I have completly agreed...

After... Watching this week's episodes.New Sweety, except physically looking Good, Modern, Stylish, Coolest, "(Sahi say bataaoon toh mujhe toh Sweety ka yeh avatar bhi pasand nahi aaya Tongue

)" , What happened to her??? She just has lost her brain. I think the charger which charges her battery is lost... And she cant found it... And the the brain model she has is totally unique, so, she cant find replacement also... LOL

...
Now, coming to the topic seriously, the "New Sweety"... Ohh...!!! D'oh

... I just cant understand what she is doing... A Child can't teach lesson to the Children... The other Children instead of learning from another Child... What they'll do... Yes. Will only make fun of him... Cool mother is not the one who doesn't care. Her some tricks are working because she is one of the main lead of the show only... She left the house before anyone was awake. And when She got in her mind. That, whether Ginny Ate the lunch or not... And got call from Ginny that dont have keys. How could a mother leave their kids outside the house and having facial or what i dont know.. She got the best chance to leave all the important work for her children. But, she didnt done that, and at that time Lucky g cancelled his impotrant meeting and came with the keys. So, who gets more respect?? Yes. Lucky g...

And in the end... Just want to say, New Sweety is not Sweety... Its her anger which has taken over the old One...

And Same what FT said... Grow up Sweety... Big smile

Edited by AhsaanBaig94 - 29 November 2012 at 11:07pm

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	Wil sweety forgive ginny?	mythili2	9	705	03 December 2011 at 6:34am By pavelonmove

Dear Sweety, Grow up.

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