my life was as always hectic.
Will there be any moment in my life when i can just relax and be happy with my life. a content life. i wondered.
i was an orphan, who was brought up in a orphange under the care of mother kristy.
She was mother to all of us orphan children.
I still remember the time when i along with other children used to dressed up in sweet new clothes. though they would always be an inch smaller or two inch bigger to us, but we all used to get happy that day, even after perfectly knowing that one from us had to leave that little group that we had created over the time.
we had to stand in a row, perfectly attentive as we would be in some army and had to salute our seniors when a childless couple would walk in along with mother and take a look of us as we were getting selled off in an accessory store. they could choose whomever they like. whomever they think will fit in there society and be a face of there family.
we all used to feel so low of ourselves then. we would complain and confied in mother who would gently caressed our heads and say, "thats for your benefit my children. like every mother, i too want the best for my children but unfortunately, my resources are not that much that i can help you all to have a desired life and desired future, you all should have. these parents are childless and they want to shower the love, they have inside themselves on a baby they can call there own. you can provide them comfort and love of having a child and in return, they will love you and support you in the future, you wish...dont you want that?"
her words seemed to be so dreamy and realestic that on each next arrival of a childless parent, we all would wish that it could be us, they could choose. but on the departure of each friend, we all used to cry too.
those were the days, when i learned that you have to loose something to gain.
somehow, i was never mean to be adopted and i stayed in orphange till i was eighteen. we had been getting education in a local low fee school but my dream was to b a doctor so when i turned 14, i started working in a repairing shop.
i used to work the whole day at the shop after my school and would study in night. but soon, i learned that by earning only 3000 per month wouldnt get me anywhere so i started distributing newspaper early in the morning before leaving for school.
thankfully, i got scholorship for college and i quickly applied in kmc at the age of 18 and was accepted. that was a dream venture of me in kmc.
i was focussed on my studies...i left orphange and rented an apartment that i had to share with 5 other boys. we all hardly had a room that we need to adjust in but we did.
in free time, i would repair broken cars and bike that i would buy from the scrap garage and would sell them in high prices. my machanical work comes handy too cause i made good amount of money at that time.
but from when my hands who were efficient to work on brain on the lifeless machinery had started working on throbbing nerves of brain, i never knew.
and from then, this ashutosh mathur got a status. he was no longer refered as an orphan but has earned immeasurable amount of respect in society. he gets praise, compliments and respect from every one.
i have mentored many interns in this jorney of 15 years of my career i have seen them looking at me with wishful eyes. they wanna b like me. but do i want them to be like me?
no. i dont.
on a professional level, may b...but on personal level, never.
cause this man do have a life of luxuries now. i am a well earned doctor in KGH, a member in the boards of KGH, and have a side business of reparing old cars and bikes that made me earn even better. i can buy a hundred shirts that would be exact my size. not an inch here and there. i have build a house of myself in the expensive area of lucknow, but i cant call it a HOME.
there was no one who waits for me out there except, hiraman kaka, my house caretaker, rolling my eyes on this line.
do i really look up to be greeted by him.
but in this run of life, i have lost those years where someone would have liked to be my partner. though i had my little list of admirers, and on the top is mallika, my fellow senior doctor in kgh, but even afyer being of 37 and spending good 10 years of my life with her friendship, i never felt that pull. that attraction that armaan used to explain me. armaan, my best friend drom orphange who has fell in love numerous times before finally getting married to swati, his classmate at the age of 32 and now is a proud father of a t year old daughter, riddhi and a year old son, sharavan.
today, after attending an emergency at the early hours, i get out from KGH and drive to my favourite tea spot. weather was cold and right then, all i wished for a place where i can have my tea while appreciating the nature.
but i didn't know, that i would admire that lively creature who just get out from the car and pushed back her long thick hairs.
the smile that formed on.her face on feeling the tiny drops of rain, felt like brightening up my dark life. she pulled forward.her hands to feel that drizzling on.her palms and the innocence of her face, made me turn all my attention to her.
i never dared looking at a girl in such a manner, but this girl, fasinates me with her looks and facial expressions.
she must have felt my gaze, as she narrows her eyes and corrected her duppata.
OMG!! was i looking like a hungry old man who.is ready to attack??
"look away, ashutosh..." i mumbled and tried to move my eyes who refused to look anyway other than her. she get in the shelter ignoring me and my heart felt a pinch. OWW
but then i got to hear that melodious voice, who felt like honey to my ears ...
God!!! my body get it bad...i sighed
she took a place on the opposite bench and like before, my eyes qere focused on her. her nose flared in anger that got me smile but i tried to.hide that behind my tea glass.
i failed as i think she saw me smiling and stood up in a huff. she rounded the bench and sit down and now her back facing me.
my eyes felt disappointed for not being able to see her, my ears wished to hear her voice but she didnt uttered a word, my heart desired to feel her eyes on myself but she didnt turn.
i seriously felt pain deep inside.
"you are a fool ashutosh..." i told myself as i quietly get up and paying the money, moved towards my car. while sitting, i look back at her who was now smiling while exhailing her warm breath. a smile automatically came on my face but before i will again make her frown, i decided to leave.
sometimes, someone just met to tell you how to live and enjoy each moment. we should stop brooding and that what i decided to do right from that moment.
i played radio and tapped my fingers on steering while enjoying the music. some song which lyrics was like
tu hi tu hai meri manzil
tu hi chahat main hai shamil...
forgot the middle lines but after every four lines, soniye was getting repeated.
on reaching home, kaka greeted me with a warm smile and hot breakfast that i enjoyed and for a change compliment kaka
"kaka, nashta bohut tasty hai" kaka looked at me with a shocked look.
"beta, aik half fry anda or slices hi tau hain" he explained and a rolled in tongue.
"aur is main mera kaun sa kamal hai" i felt foolish but then.i saw the tea cup and quckly made an excuse
"kaka, i meant chai bohut acchi hai" kaka still give me a weird look but left nevertheless.
i sighed and sipped my tea slowly, and with each sip, i remembered that face that was mesmerizing and had completely captured my mind.
(i know this part was extremely boring, not much dialogues, but i wanted to show ashu's background..)
next, ashni's 2nd meeting and a lil fight.
Next Part >>> Click Here
Edited by cool_SK - 11 January 2013 at 3:27am