Joined: 19 October 2012
Joined: 07 August 2012
Joined: 27 April 2012
Joined: 27 April 2012
Joined: 27 April 2012
Chapter 17 '
Stars and moon have disappeared behind dark clouds, wind had died down for hours, chaotic silence was looming over the small bed-room while a candle was struggling hard to provide ounce of light. Under depressed atmosphere, Kunal sitting on the floor holding liquor bottle in his left hand. Not aware of time, he felt he was sitting there forever and just drinking directly from bottle; no glass, no ice, water or soda, just gulping down as much as possible. Kunal took his head up, tried looking into mirror but it was blurry, not simply due to darkness, but also due to tears in his eyes; not that Kunal was aware of it. All he could see was Siddhi standing in front of him, somewhat saddened face, "Kapilbhaiya said he had found good match for me." That one sentence kept playing over and over in his mind. "How can life be so cruel? I was living the best I can from past 5 years without bothering anyone. I didn't mind being invisible in crowd or avoid crowds all together. I had accepted my life only consists of breathing in and out; without really experiencing the moment. Then why, why did some form of life made its way in? My doors were closed, locked tightly, yet light made its way in? But can I really blame my fate for it? I was the one who got carried over, started looking for things that may not had been there. Why did I ever think and convince myself I will ALWAYS be there for her, why? Of course her brother has found someone for her and I am sure he would truly be worthy. Not someone who hides in his dark room and constantly trying to run away from his past. Why did I think otherwise?"
Ret ke banjar me chala hoon me,
Pani dekha to daud gaya;
Na samja sirf mera waham tha,
Me thehra ek banjara;
Koi thikana na paonga,
Bas is registaan me, chalta hi jaoonga.
Next few days, life that both Kunal-Siddhi had experienced stopped in a way. Siddhi was worried for few reasons. Kapil had only told her he received a marriage proposal, but said it would be surprise for Siddhi. She will know when they will come to their house, but it will be pleasant surprise for her. She wanted to say no without even looking, but didn't know how? She was almost paralyzed hearing this and last words she had spoken with her will were to Kunal. Kunal had not responded at all, he had left office right away and since then she did not see him. She wanted to get his reaction, if not words, at least read his face and eyes; but now she was more worried as he had stopped coming to office altogether. Any work that required his opinion, he had asked peon to drop it off home. She didn't know what to do, how to talk to Kapil until she knows what Kunal had to say.
Kunal on the other had regressed in his standard of living. First he was at least able to concentrate on work. But now everything seemed impossible. He had not left his house in few days. He didn't know if it was night or day, all seemed dark to him. He tried his best to simply focus on work and even requested as much paper work possible. Even the work paralegal might do, he asked to do it. He ate whenever, he slept whenever, oblivious to world and to some extent his own self, he was just there.
One morning, Kunal heard doorbell ringing over and over. Not sure if it was real, after some time he even heard nagging on the door along with someone calling his name. Kunal forced himself to open his eyes, he was lying on the floor of the living room without blanket or anything, just lying there. It took him a minute or two to get up and open the door. As soon as he opened the door his eyes were hurt due to light, unable to see who it was. Slowly he was able to get comfortable in the light and saw Seema walking in. Seema looked at Kunal, he looked horrible, unshaved face, red eyes, dark circles around his eyes, hairs everywhere; just nonfunctional individual.
Seema, "Kunalbhaiya where are you, what is happening with you? I called so many times, ringing the bell for 15 minutes and what is all this? Do you see yourself in the mirror, you look horrible."
Kunal in low volume, "Seema I have been busy with work. We have something at the firm and it is really important so just very busy. Why are you still standing there, come in. I'll make tea for you."
Seema, "No Bhaiya, I don't need tea. What work are you talking about, you had not been to your office in 4 days. Actually you have not left home since Monday. Anyways, I have something very important to say to you. Today entire family is going'. Ahh you'you must come with us. It is really important, I am telling you have to come with us otherwise'"
Kunal, "Seema you know that won't happen. When was last time I came with you guys anyway? Besides, why do you want to spoil papa's mood, my company will end up ruining everything. Besides I do have to go to office today. As you said, I have not gone to office since Monday and I have so much paper work here that needs to be in the office." Kunal had simply said that to avoid going with family. He didn't want to go with them, especially not right now. He didn't want to go to office either as he was afraid of running into office but then it's a Sunday so no one will come there anyways.
Seema on the hand was very much worried. She wanted to talk to Kunal more, wanted to say something but didn't know how. It was obvious to her Kunal was not in right state of mind by looking at his apartment and him. Not sure what to do next, Seema left Kunal alone.
Kunal finally decided to step out as he was afraid other family member might follow Seema. He went to office in afternoon and as expected no one was there. He sat on his desk, stared at Siddhi's desk for god knows how long. He arranged the paper work he had finished and decided to walk out. As he was walking out of the building, he bumped into someone who was carrying at least 5 bags, resulting in them dropping on the floor. Kunal bent down to pick them up and was stunned a bit, it was Siddhi. Yes he bumped into Siddhi. How is it possible, he was sure no one, at least she will not be here. He sure helped Siddhi but tried his best to avoid any type of eye-contact. He wanted to leave form there right away, but something stopped him. Both were simply standing on their spot, very much awkward so Kunal spoke, "ahh'how come you are here on Sunday?"
"It's not Sunday, it is still Saturday." Kunal did not understand. He was sure today is Sunday, but then he had not been aware of time what so ever, so forget about what day of the week it is. Before he could respond, Siddhi's phone rang. Due to so many bags, she couldn't reach her phone. Without really looking directly at Siddhi, Kunal extended his hands to take away bags from her so she can answer the phone. It was Kapil calling Siddhi. Siddhi talked to him briefly and said, "It was Kapilbhaiya, he said something has come up. He asked me if you are here, please come to our home with me right now." Kunal was shocked to hear that. Why would Kapil ask me to come his home? Is everything alright there, hope Siddhi is not in any trouble. Did any opposing party tried to harass Siddhi? Oh God he had not coming to work for all these days, he doesn't know what had taken place at the office. What if someone had troubled Siddhi, but he was too busy gulping down bottle. In his mind he started cursing himself for possibility something might have happened to Siddhi. Even on their way to Siddhi's home, Kunal switched from cursing himself to thinking what may have happened? Siddhi too was very much confused as why would Kapil ask Kunal to come to their house. It simply didn't make sense. God only knows what is waiting for them. She looked at Kunal, tried to read his face, hoping to talk to him, get his reaction to what she had said but all she saw was a blank face and Kunal appeared very guarded. So both simply sat in auto while conversing to their selves.
They reached to Siddhi's apartment around 5 pm. Kunal gave money to auto and carried all the bags, didn't allow Siddhi to even say one word. Still very much anxious and confused, both walked up to the apartment. Once they entered the apartment, both were shocked. Kapil, Shilpa, Siddhi's aunts and entire C-clan was there. Seema was standing right near door as if she was waiting for them. Seema did know both will be coming as she was the one who asked Kapil to call Siddhi and bring Kunal with her. She had feeling Kunal won't be able to say no to Siddhi. While everyone looked all cheerful, Seema appeared bit worried. Kunal put bags down and stood very much in back, worried as what is to take place here. Shilpa dragged Siddhi right to sofa where everyone was sitting.
Kapil, "Finally you are here Siddhi. I told you I had surprise for you. Well here is your surprise. The proposal that you had received came from one but your friend, Anand Chopra." Everyone started clapping except Seema who was closely observing Kunal and Siddhi with so much worry on her face. As soon as Kapil had finished, Kunal-Siddhi had lost little color on their faces. In one moment they felt suffocated, every ounce of oxygen left their body, they stood on their spot like lifeless creature. Was this real, what they heard, was it real? This is perhaps a bad dream, they wish they may just snap out of it, people around them are may be joking, anything but reality, anything. Siddhi somehow gathered enough strength to look at Kunal who was standing in corner with his head down, it looked as if he was ready to bury his head in the ground in a minute. What is it she needed to do right now, anything, her mind struggled to come up with something just then she felt someone touching her. She saw Veena was caressing her hairs and took out chunni to put on her head. Was it happening, did Veena just took out chunni, before it touches Siddhi, involuntary Siddhi moved back.
Yes before Veena can come any closer, Siddhi moved back, making everyone drop their jaws. Did Siddhi in a way refused? Everyone present was shocked with their eyes ready to come out. Kapil too baffled why would Siddhi do that? He went near Siddhi, in very low voice, "What are you doing Siddhi?"
With breaking voice Siddhi, "Bhaiya, I need to talk to you. Can we please go in my room, please?" Even though Siddhi spoke in very low volume, everyone present heard that due to complete silence, even Kunal. Somehow he forced himself to look up towards Siddhi. Kapil tried his best to give a nervous smile but failed miserably. He tired taking Siddhi with him in the room but was blocked by his aunts who questioned them what was going on. Even Veena and Raj got very curious while Gaurav, Anand and Raveena stood there with nothing to do. Seema appeared very tensed, maybe she in a way knew what is going on? Everyone was staring at Siddhi with questions in their eyes and they all wanted answer, right here, right now. Siddhi with her head down, "Anand and I are very good friends. But I do not think we can get married. Even though we are friends, there are things we do not see eye to eye and time after time we had been made aware of it. Usually it was minor things, but last time not. Last time it was very obvious, certain things we can't let go. And I don't think I can just make a''."
Everyone was stunned hearing Siddhi's words. Did she just say that? Was it possible someone refusing Anand Chopra, the ideal son of the family? Kapil intervened very fast, "what are you talking about Siddhi? Are you still hung up on that case with the corporation? Oh come on Siddhi, let it go. It was just a case, you cannot hold on to it for rest of your life."
"Bhaiya, it's not just about one case. It is about my belief, my principles, how I choose to live my life. I am not saying others are wrong, it is matter of choice. It's just I cannot make compro'"
Raj jumped in to give his lecture, "I understand where this is coming from. (looking at Kunal) Beta, some people are very good at giving lecture and talking big about ethics and principles. But reality of life is something different. (looking back at Siddhi) Life requires much more than these words. When reality hits you, you must think and act practically. Some may say thinking practically is what weak do, but in reality those who talk big are the one running away from everything" ended in nasty tone.
Siddhi's eyes were almost watery now, "it is not like that uncle. Again Anand is one of my closest friends. I respect him very much, but.."
Kapil lost it, "but what Siddhi? What are you saying? All of us know you and Anand get along so well. You guys were best friends in college and spent so much time together. Now after this new job of yours you are talking you don't see eye to eye."
Veena came forward with her nonsense, "calm down Kapil. Look Siddhi dear, you are young so it is understandable there are things you might not fully understand right now. You may think all of us are forcing you right now, but we are only talking about what is best for you" everyone around nodded yes. "we have seen the life and know what life is like. You are young and gullible, it is ok you feel this way right now. But trust me you will look back and thank us" again everyone nodded yes. By now Siddhi had tears in her eyes, to hide them she put her head down. Shilpa went near Siddhi to console.
Again gyani Raj, "Listen beta. We are not forcing you at all. I agree some people are great teacher and you must acknowledge their contribution like you have already done. (obvious sarcasm truly hurting Kunal-Siddhi and even Seema) But those teachers are only good in one area. Life and marriage are very complicated. You cannot rely on so called principles to judge what is best, or WHO is best in life. We are talking about real responsibility here. Responsibility one has to fulfill for the rest of the life. People you seem to rely now are not capable; they tend to run away from it. (again hurting Kunal-Siddhi both) They may talk big but if you question them right now, no answer. Here, ask Anand if he is ready to take such responsibility and he will say yes. You, yourself can ask him, go ahead Anand'"
"Yes''." Voice echoed in the room, loud and clear, forcing Siddhi to look up.
Pre-cap: Siddhi calling Aannd to ask something''..
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Joined: 27 April 2012
Joined: 12 October 2008
Joined: 17 November 2012
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