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Entry from the secret diary of Dilshad Khan
Why are some people so hard to forget?
Even though they betrayed you years ago at a level that it hurts like a million daggers are piercing your heart at the same time and your eyes tear up just at the thought them. The wounds are still not healed and just the thought of them opens as if it happened yesterday. Even though you did nothing wrong they walk away from you. Even though one day your life together was perfect and the next day they choose someone else. In fact they were with the other person during your perfect life together and having children with her.
Is it because they were your first love? The first person you allowed in your heart, body and soul? The person with whom you learned of an attraction to a boy, the one who made your heart go pitter patter? Seeing them across a crowded room made the hair in your arms go up and smile that secret smile? Even now the thoughts of those moments makes you close your eyes and savour the moments.
I have made a life for myself and my children without anyone's help. i overcame obstacles that most people can't imagine. i know i am strong because i worked hard, i survived, i moved forward. Days go by and I don't think of him and something will happen, a smell, a breeze, a song, a phrase, a poem, a smile of one of the children and it all comes back like a ton of bricks. And in that weak moment I go back to it all and everything comes back as if it just happened yesterday.
Why do some people make strong people weak? Why do those strong people, that know better, allow those people to make them weak. Why do they keep memories, letters, other momentous in a box in the back of their closet?
Wy can't I forget him? Why can't I move on?
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