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Sparsh (An SS)--- Part XIV (Pg 130) (Page 3)

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gcluv

IF-Sizzlerz

gcluv

Joined: 10 April 2012

Posts: 10054

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 11:08am | IP Logged
OMG !!!!!!!
Wonderful update
great start
i must say , loved the title " Sparsh "


"These hands have saved me, given me a new life, taken care of me….They talk to my heart. To answer your question, your sparsh….I would know this touch as long as I live!!"

 

Loved the above lines

so many underline meanings into it 

looking forward to next update

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InduG64lulujjjjSaiS

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vidya29

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vidya29

Joined: 25 June 2010

Posts: 358

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 11:12am | IP Logged
I love anything you writeSmile.As simple as that.You have a deep understanding of the nuances that lead to love that is much beyond  the superficial kind we get now-a-days.Your writing simply proves it.

Waiting for it to continue.and soonWinkTongue.

Loved the storyBig smile.

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MelodiousDreams

IF-Rockerz

MelodiousDreams

Joined: 24 December 2007

Posts: 7483

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 11:56am | IP Logged
Indu! What is this?!
 
If I hadn't been browsing through the pages of the forum, I might have missed this! Saw the title and instantly remembered the wonderful film with the same name...I know I'll love this story as well!
 
I read Part I once and absolutely loved it! Just like Mishti's sparsh and voice, your words are beautifully magical, Indu!
 
Ah, I love how this begins, right in the middle of a scene that speaks of familiarity and playful comfort! My first impression was that these two people know each other very well and could possibly be in a relationship of some sort - I was correct to a certain degree, I suppose...
 
And then the context comes, the scene is set. The woman is a hospital volunteer, the man is a patient, but their relationship is one that is much deeper than that.
 
"The modalities are not any concern of mine'.I meant what I said. None of those...those...those giggly females comes near me. So remember that the next time you go missing, I'll..."
 
"You'll what?"
 
"Uhh...is that a challenge I hear in that sweet voice?"
 
(And then he heard what he wanted to since she came in, what he was missing for the past two days'that musical laughter. His heart did an involuntary flip.)
 
I couldn't help but laugh at Yash's struggle to find the right words to throw out to describe those unwanted nurses! I could very well imagine what sorts of reactions those giggly females would've had, as well as Yash's irritation! LOL 
 
(She bent toward the shoulder, careful not to brush against the wound there. He turned his head slightly and breathed in her fragrance...He lived with these stolen moments till the next day.)
 
"How do you do that?"
 
"Do what, Sir?"
 
(Know me...know who I am...In just a few days you have broken through all my defences...What is it about you that makes me feel in a way I have never felt before? Makes me want to share myself...talk about myself just so I can hear you...)
 
"(Aloud) Be so perceptive...and don't call me that, I've told you so many times. Do you always get to know so deeply everyone you tend to here?" (That thought suddenly made him feel uncomfortable...he realized he didn't want to share her with anyone.)
 
Yash's responses to Mishti are so sweet - I love the way you write out his thoughts and feelings throughout these interactions - and they make me feel all warm and happy. The smallest things about her (the sound of her voice, her laugh, the fragrance of her hair, her changes in tone...and her silences...) do not go unnoticed by him, and I think that his loss of vision augmented that awareness of her. Everything about her touches him and stays with him, and I love that!
 
From this little exchange, I could sense so much about Yash, and that was wonderful. He is already possessive about Mishti, he worries about her when she is late to see him, he doesn't want to entertain the possibility of her being emotionally close to other patients (and that extends to physical proximity too, I daresay), he loves the depth of their bond...and that mutual warmth and comfort between them doesn't need to be expressed explicitly...
 
And Aarti, or Mishti, for her part, brings a sense of foreboding with her...She is pulling away from him  and he can feel it, although he doesn't know the reason behind the distance. It is unnerving, hearing her speak like this when just moments before she had been teasing him lightly. The way the tension slowly seeps into their interactions is...amazing. It put me on edge in an instant. And then Yash seeks to reassure her, instinctively...
 
"Ok...Tell me, suppose during the bandage opening I am not here and I have to urgently go somewhere and not be able to come back in time...and then we meet someplace else, some other time...maybe years later... will you recognize me?"
 
(His whole being tensed up.)
 
"What are you saying?"
 
"Please...let's just assume if this happens...I am so curious to know how you..."
 
"Your voice...I can recognize it from miles away."
 
"And if I don't speak, then..."
 
(He reached for her hands...and covered them in his.)
 
"These hands have saved me, given me a new life, taken care of me...They talk to my heart. To answer your question, your sparsh...I would know this touch as long as I live!!"
 
Loved the ending...So poignant, so beautiful! You've penned everything down so well that I can hear Gurmeet's and Kratika's voices in my head as I read and I can see the two of them in my mind's eye, as well...That always happens when I'm reading a particularly well-written piece, so thank you for making this into a delightful visual experience for me!


Edited by MelodiousDreams - 11 January 2013 at 7:44pm

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gafulu14

IF-Stunnerz

gafulu14

Joined: 27 April 2011

Posts: 25655

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 12:00pm | IP Logged
gr8 job pl. continue

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sia221

IF-Rockerz

sia221

Joined: 30 October 2011

Posts: 5660

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 12:26pm | IP Logged
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word , a listening ear, an honest compliment , or a smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around 
 --- Leo Buscaglia

Lovely start... Indu !!! 
waiting for the next part... !! Smile


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ummisco

Senior Member

ummisco

Joined: 29 March 2012

Posts: 233

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 4:46pm | IP Logged
Nice title!!
Even more beautifully written SS...
Pls continue soon...

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InduG64lulujjjjSaiS

InduG64

IF-Rockerz

InduG64

Joined: 18 March 2012

Posts: 7452

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 5:19pm | IP Logged
@IsYaRocher & Yamunah: Thank you .Hug


@gcluv:
Thanks. Your enthusiasm for whatever I write is such a morale booster. I am happy you liked this as well. Hope I can justify this support till  the completion of this story.Hug



@Vidya:
Aww...that's a precious compliment. Thank you so much. Hug


@gafulu: Thank you.Hug


@Sia: Thanks my friend. I have always loved that quote...even had it as my signature during the early days of PV. Thanks for bringing it up here...it fits. Hug

@ummisco: Thank you. I am glad this appealed to you.Hug

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InduG64

IF-Rockerz

InduG64

Joined: 18 March 2012

Posts: 7452

Posted: 25 November 2012 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by MelodiousDreams

Indu! What is this?!
 
If I hadn't been browsing through the pages of the forum, I might have missed this! Saw the title and instantly remembered the wonderful film with the same name...I know I'll love this story as well!
 
I read Part I once and absolutely loved it! Just like Mishti's sparsh and voice, your words are beautifully magical, Indu!
 



@Borna: I posted this last night. I would have let you know this morning...but you caught me before I could do that. Your reaction has relieved me...I was so insecure about giving in to this whim. Sparsh, the word, is ingrained in me ever since the dargah scene...the story is just an offshoot of that. If you look back to the show...sparsh has been redefined in many ways between Yash and Aarti...it has evolved differently for both of them right from that first touch. Day Dreaming

Sparsh was an epic movie...one of the best performances from Naseeruddin Shah and Shabana Azmi.Thumbs Up

*I await your detailed response.Smile*



Edited by InduG64 - 25 November 2012 at 5:57pm

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