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MNMS
Goldie
Joined: 15 December 2005
Posts: 1989
Problem here is, the entire concept of "Male virgins" just don't seem to exist anymore! Almost every male who has had pre-marital sex wants a virgin wife, and that is just bull. And according to polls in various magazines (real sources) and Planned Parenthood researches, more than half the male populations ( by half I mean anywhere from 51-84%) in various countries (including India) have had pre-marital sex.
What I said is based on polls and researches I have read over many years from real (not fake) resources. It could be a little off, or maybe it is accurate, so don't attack me for this.
When so many males don't save their virginity for marriage, then why is the issue over the "tissue" arise?
Maybe the man didn't save his virginity. He could be lying too, so why are we all worried if the girl is lying? Does anyone ever care if the male is virgin???? When my aunt's family were looking for a groom for her (abot 10 years back) the girl asked if he was a virgin, and from my mom I heard he and his family got angry and left. Go figure
I missed the debate! 
... but i must say... wonderful debate between Buffie and Aparna di
.. Seriously Buffie, I truly appreciate ur language skills!! 
Monica... the question u asked is relating to the unwritten rules of the society.. unfortunately there are double standards..Finally someone here talked abt "Wht is practically done" rather than "Wht should be done -Minnie
.. See, i personally don't support lying (and pre-marital sex) in this case that it will cause nearly a catastrophe (IN REALITY) if the so-called virgin boy finds out abt this girl. For me the ground of such a relationship is based on lying and it is not going to turn good for both parties i.e. i highly doubt the sustainability of marriage.. even if this matter goes in the court for divorce, the reason will be stated in front of all the people (Im far stretching the matter).. I know the girl should have thought abt it b4 but she didn't, call it her immaturity, indecisiveness, inability to see the future etc, etc.... but now wht should she do... all of us are making the girl stand in the criminal box for lying.. but wht should she do NOW - either lie or accept the boycott from the society PLUS the shame and anger of her parents...If i just see the girl in the light of moral ethics and codes, then i don't support her.. but now i think this is a complicated situation for the girl... this is her decision for choosing the better of the two worse. And wht i think that she is marrying not the guy but his good looks wealth education etc. and he is demanding the return of his +ve points by asking the virginity question.
I like wht Pradarshak asked abt mind, soul, heart! Where materialistic things are important and of course do matter for some people, where goes such immaterial things??? Are we paying any attention to them?
Pradarshak
Goldie
Joined: 24 January 2006
Posts: 1609
I like wht Pradarshak asked abt mind, soul, heart! Where materialistic things are important and of course do matter for some people, where goes such immaterial things??? Are we paying any attention to them?
Thanks MNMS. I am glad that you understood what I tried to mean.
Pradarshak
Goldie
Joined: 24 January 2006
Posts: 1609
[QUOTE=Pradarshak]I can see a huge debate is going on. Enjoying everyone's views.
First and the fore most thing would be no lying in a relationship like this which is very delicate unlike blood relations.
From the girl's action, she should confess her past to embrace a new relationship(if asked or given much importance). Having a pre-martial relationship is not something condemnable, some succeed in them while some fail. We are prone to make mistakes. What is important is what we learn and try not to repeat them.
From the guy's action, I can see that he expects someone who is physically untouched and that matters to him a lot. May be he also saved his virginity(just my guess), nothing wrong in his action.
QUOTE]
Problem here is, the entire concept of "Male virgins" just don't seem to exist anymore! Almost every male who has had pre-marital sex wants a virgin wife, and that is just bull. And according to polls in various magazines (real sources) and Planned Parenthood researches, more than half the male populations ( by half I mean anywhere from 51-84%) in various countries (including India) have had pre-marital sex.
What I said is based on polls and researches I have read over many years from real (not fake) resources. It could be a little off, or maybe it is accurate, so don't attack me for this.
When so many males don't save their virginity for marriage, then why is the issue over the "tissue" arise?
Maybe the man didn't save his virginity. He could be lying too, so why are we all worried if the girl is lying? Does anyone ever care if the male is virgin???? When my aunt's family were looking for a groom for her (abot 10 years back) the girl asked if he was a virgin, and from my mom I heard he and his family got angry and left. Go figure
Monica, I think you misinterpret what I meant. In general cases may be you are right. But in this particular case, I don't know the guy's personal life. So, I guessed that could be true too that he is a virgin and expecting same from his female parter. May be it's his own principle which he values most that his partner should be a virgin. So, what's wrong in expecting that from his pooint of view. Whether his thought is back-dated or not, that's a different issue. If you are not a virgin admit and don't go to him, simple. Why go to someone, who cares so much about one's past life?
sonali_k
Newbie
Joined: 08 July 2006
Posts: 7
Aparna said
I would refer to Minnies response as to why would tell my daughter to hide the fact about the pre- marital sex.
But
if there is some issue where she is having problem in getting married(
lets say she is manglik) then yes. The reason being this small lie will
not impact her married life in my opinion. If its a big lie i agree
that will impact then you must start clean.
Aparna, you
were calling the virgins "hypocrites" but what you are suggesting is
the biggest hypocrisy. i.e. have pre-marital sex and lie about it.
[edited..............]
And in this case, I have sent an email to
that guy that she is lying to him along with the names of the guys. I
dont think a lying who*** deserves a guy like him. Of course its an
anonymous email. And some people here might think it was wrong of me to
do that. But she basically had no guilt about lying and I cannot see an
innocent person get cheated like that.
 Moderator's Note:Kindly do not attack while debating |
Aparna_BD
IF-Dazzler
Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4926
MonicA#1Actress
Goldie
Joined: 19 April 2005
Posts: 2332
Aparna said
I would refer to Minnies response as to why would tell my daughter to hide the fact about the pre- marital sex.
But
if there is some issue where she is having problem in getting married(
lets say she is manglik) then yes. The reason being this small lie will
not impact her married life in my opinion. If its a big lie i agree
that will impact then you must start clean.
Aparna, you
were calling the virgins "hypocrites" but what you are suggesting is
the biggest hypocrisy. i.e. have pre-marital sex and lie about it. I am
sorry ------------edited--------
And in this case, I have sent an
email to that guy that she is lying to him along with the names of the
guys. I dont think a lying who*** deserves a guy like him. Of course
its an anonymous email. And some people here might think it was wrong
of me to do that. But she basically had no guilt about lying and I
cannot see an innocent person get cheated like that.
-----------edited--------. And I bet if your friend had been a guy, and he was the non-virgin, you wouldn't have been concerned at all. And this is the harsh truth. Not only did you betray your friend, but you have proved that stupid double standards still do exist.
I have a question: You know that your friend is not a virgin, so how the hell are you sure he is virgin too?? Just because he didn't have a girlfriend doesn't mean he never slept with a prostitute or had a one-night-stand, which is very common among rich people in EVERY COUNTRY as I have seen in real life.
| Moderator's Note: Kindly do not attack while debating. |
MNMS
Goldie
Joined: 15 December 2005
Posts: 1989
insouciance
IF-Rockerz
Joined: 10 January 2006
Posts: 6876
Its just that the woman cant see a sinless man becomming a victim of perfidy......I cannot stand it when innocent people are cheated,killed,betrayed for no fault of theirs ...If my room mate had been promiscuous without any penitence ,and if she's all set to con an innocent man,I surely would condemn it 
...and thus was NOT serious about those relationships....She slept around plainly for pleasure and there wasnt any bit of "LOVE" there)....and i would HATE that man beyond disbelief if I ever get to know that before marrying me,he had slept around with a plethora of women and that he had lied to me about it ...I would want an ethical husband ,not a liar....I cannot forgive a man who has ruined my life(i would consider my life to be a sad existence if my husband had lied to me about his conduct and had blindfolded me ) 
) and seek divorce.......Any relationship based on a lie would go bust.,..She definitely a far cry from his conception of the "ideal wife" ... ...and I would certainly respect a mother like sonali so please stop attacking | Topics | Topic Starter | Replies | Views | Last Post | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Virginity Pledges.. Do they work? | MNMS | 17 | 605 | 03 December 2006 at 10:59am By MNMS |
|
| Loosing Virginity Before Marriage-DOTW | sowmyaa | 66 | 7605 | 03 February 2006 at 6:08am By *dolly* |
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