Lying about virginity (Page 2)

Ha ha Aparn..you crack me up..yes how would a guy prove he is virgin.
This is totally on the person. Man if wants to know should get the person in confidence or never ask. Same with girl. If u want to know or tell do it before getting involved or else forget it. but your relation should be on trust and love which will hurt if you do not tell

Hi Aparna. I believe marriage should be based on trust and respect for each other. If he did not ask her anything about it, its ok for her to not disclose it. But if he specifically asks her about it, I think its wrong of her to lie. Just imagine after marriage if he finds out, he is going to think she is a big liar and might think she conned him into marrying her. Also its not fair to the other girls who truly remain chaste and virgin for their future husbands if sl*** like that start claiming to be virgin. Everyone in our college knows what she was doing with her bf's, he just needs to ask and he will get her complete history.

Sonali like i said there are more important things than stupid "virginity" that one musn't lie in a marriage about. I don't feel women who are "saving" themselves are doing any thing special but are bunch of hypocrites.( My opinion....since others have there opinions about girls who have pre-marital sex)!

And how will he ever find out that she lost her virginity unless she tells him ??? Do you know that "tissue" some of us make such a huge deal about can break easily while playing sports or falling off a bike !!!!!

Even in a girl's case "Hymen" can not be the sole criteria for proving "virginity", many times it can get ruptured due to heavy physical activity.

I agree with Aparna di abt the tisssue... Even this little tissue can be repaired by an operation!! And who will know if a girl has been involved in a sexual relationship with a person .. or it was just a consequence of heavy sport/ physical activity!!! And BTW ... who will ask a successful woman athlete which accidently lost her tissue???

In this particular case, i see danger signs abt the future realtionship of these two people

Dont say that..Just as how a woman is entitled to consummate before her marriage if she choses to,and when she can be cut all the slack ,then its as fair that a woman is entitled to  save her virginity and be a chaste woman.....

Virginity may be extremely special to some women and none of us can be judgemental about personal decisions....To me,virginity is extremely important....My parents expect me to be to be an ethical,principled,upright and truthful girl(and they are not expecting anything unreasonable out of me)...and i think i can do atleast that much for them...and they would feel terribly let down if I ever do anything which is wrong.......besides,saving my virginity enhances my self respect....Lying to people would definitely make me feel guilty and repentant.....and i surely cannot face my parents if i ever drink or sleep with anyone before my marriage....that would be a living death....and that,in no way,makes me a hypocrite.....Its my personal belief,that pre marital sex is wrong,as it plainly connotes concupiscence  and a lack of self restraint ..I mean,thiese things can certainly wait in life.....and i dont become a hypocrite because i hold these views

Consummation must be a gradual  progression in the married life....there are so many more important things,such as love,responsibility,respect,understanding etc....If someone is head over heels in love with a person,and vice versa, they can exercise some self constriant and their relationship can be a platonic one...and in my opinion,by doing so,the mutual respect that  one harbours for the other  increases manifold.....These were just my opinions

and lying about virginity would for sure save a woman's skin.besides,losing one's virginity entails so many other troubles....

• If the woman marries the man whom she lost her virginity to,then there are zilch troubles...

 

• if she gets married to a man who doesnt really attach a great deal of importance to virginity,then too she wouldnt have any great troubles......

 

• But if a man is particular about his wife's being a virgin,and if he questions the girl about her virginity,its then that the girl finds herself in a quandary....a) If she tells him the truth that she isnt a virgin,he might decide not to marry the girl..and If the boy is truthful and tells the girl's parents that his reason for not marrying her is that she's not a virgin,then the parents would be crestfallen ....and if this matter spreads through the grapevine,then in all possibilities the girl wouldnt find a GOOD MATCH,AND SHE MIGHT PROBABLY get married off to some kink,who would marry her only for money or for a deal of some kind.....b)If she lies to him,then she might get married to him,but if uncovers the truth later,he would lose all the respect for her...and thus eventually it would be such that she signed her own death warrant by lying to him...usually the extremely inquisitive men are the suspicious and mistrustful type,and if they uncover the truth any time later,then things would really become ugly

 

 

Edited by Buffie - 09 July 2006 at 7:17am

The reason i said that Buffie was to make a point that its not fair to be judgemental of a person who has pre-marital sex. Many people have used very colourfull language for such people.

 I have always advocated sex is a adult person's choice. Some people who get intimate with the people they love (irrespective of whether marriage takes place or not). They don't become in any way less of a person or less whole than a "virgin". The point is the "virgins" tend to always portray that "holier than thou" attitude all on the basis of a tissue. While there is more to being a good human being than just a "tissue". What makes a virgin feel she's on a higher moral ground ????????????

As for the man finding out about the past affair. He may find out about the relatiionship (so its better to tell the spouse).....but pray tell me how will he discover she lost her virginity before unless she herself or that guy goes and tells the husband. There are only 2 people involved in it. If the ex boyfriend is a jerk enough to say so then the wife can discredit him as a jealous liar!! This is all in the wife's hand. BUT if the husband is a jealous , suspicios guy then anyway he will any way find riddicules reasons that are unjustified to regard his wife in a jealous way.

I too know of my friends who had ex boyfriends with whom they were intimate.They couldn't marry these men . These women are in their 30's now and have children and happy marriages.The loss of virginity is not something that will come to haunt you if YOU can deal with it yourself !!

Let me end with Abhijeet Shukla's quote in another post "Morality is envy with a halo "




Edited by Aparna_BD - 09 July 2006 at 3:22pm

Sex is a personal choice, and I think in today's day and age if either a woman or man expects their respective partners to be a virgin, they need to be born in the last century.

Edited by ishan2003 - 09 July 2006 at 2:56pm