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What Do You Do When Everyone is Right?

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ummesulaiman

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ummesulaiman

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Posted: 20 November 2012 at 3:31pm | IP Logged

So...the main theme track of DABH is in full swing...and finally the episode I've been waiting for so many days came into being...No Bhabo...No Meena and her antics...No evil sibling duo of Mohit and Chavi...rather, an episode with just Suraj and Sandhya...confronting each other...and doing what I'd so long wished they would do...communicating. Approve

 

Let me say...and this is my personal POV...I was not disappointed with tonight's episode...and I'll also admit...that I shed a tear more than once. Cry

 

Tonight...Surya talked their hearts out...Sandhya learned...if she didn't know already...the depths that Suraj was willing to go for her.  You'd have to have been blind not to see the love pouring out from her eyes along with her tears...it was huge!  Also tonight...Suraj confronted Sandhya about her fears.

 

Suraj...

If I wasn't in love with the guy already...I think I fell in love with him all over again.  Someone pinch me...do men like this really exist?  I swear he'll give me diabetes one day.  Embarrassed 
 
Okay enough with the gushing.  He went to great lengths to bring Sandhya to night school, because he feels that Sandhya has a right to fulfill her/her parents' dreams.  Not only that, he's made her dream his. 
 
He openly admitted that it was the most difficult thing in the world for him to go against Bhabo's wishes.  He also openly accused Sandhya of seeing her dreams and Bhabo's dreams…but failing to see him left stranded at the cross-roads of having to choose between his mother and wife.  Ouch
 
I'm so glad he finally said that.  Clap
 
But what surprised me the most was that he was willing to do something that I never thought he'd do...keep Sandhya's studies a secret from Bhabo and the rest of the family...i.e...lie. Shocked
 
In fact, he was willing to take the entire responsibility of lying and the sin of it on his shoulders.  Wow!  I mean just wow!

 

Sandhya...

I've been confused about Sandhya from day one.  My opinion of her wavers from time to time...she's smart, she's not so smart, she's only book smart...but I find myself biting my tongue after watching her tonight.  I have perhaps yet to meet such a sensible soul.  If I was gushing over Suraj...I'm beaming with pride at Sandhya's self-sacrifice...and the logic behind it.
 

Her dreams were presented to her on a silver platter tonight...but she refused.  She was raised to do the right thing and she did it again tonight.

 

With tears in her eyes, she correctly pointed out to Suraj that Bhabo also had seen dreams.  That Bhabo never hid the fact that she wanted a typical bahu in every sense of the word.  She made this very plain to everyone from the start, even before SurYa were married.  Ankur agreed and betrayed everyone.  It wasn't Bhabo's fault...and it would be wrong to cheat her of her dreams just so Sandhya could fulfill hers.  This was tough painful logic...but it is true.

Her parents are no longer alive, but she's received parents love from Bhabo and Bhabasa, and she couldn't possibly fathom lying to them or going against their wishes. 

Even if she and Suraj tried to keep her studies a secret, they couldn't succeed for long.  IPS exams and training would require more than just attendance in night school.  How would she explain her absence from home for days at a stretch?  One lie would only lead to another.  There would be no right time to bring forth the secret…a lie would still be a lie.  She had learned the hard way from past experience...that hearts would be broken, shame guaranteed…and forgiveness up in the air.  In the long run would it be worth it?

 

I don't know how to answer Sandhya's questions.  What do you do when no one is wrong and everyone is right? Confused

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farhana874

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farhana874

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Posted: 20 November 2012 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
Wonderful post Fatima'ji!

I am not yet tired of saying that it was an epic episode!
SurYa convo not only cleared their views only but also clarified many of our doubts too!

Even I couldn't take any side today! Both are right!Confused

I don't know what could be the answer of that question...May be to wait is the best thing to do?? Time will tell??
Pata nahi...Confused

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UMDU

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Posted: 20 November 2012 at 3:59pm | IP Logged
Very nice post. I agree with you Fathimaji everyone is right in their own way. Suraj to my mind is blinded due to his love for Sandhya. What he wants her to do is impractical. Not only college studies the pursuit of IPS and its  implications also he has not realized. However Sandhya is farsighted and practical. She has taken a year to build Bhabo's trust for her. How can she let go of it. If she studies secretly and Bhabo finds out she will never ever be able to trust her again. You cannot expect a human being to keep forgiving you especially a person like Bhabo who any way is highly suspicious. The only thing which can move Bhabo  is Suraj's pain. Something dramatic has to happen to jolt her. I liked Farhana's idea of Suraj's accident. I don't mind if it is filmy or dramatic. I  want Bhabo's approval before the track proceeds. Living on the edge everyday and lying does not appeal to me as being practical for long term studying.

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-Ayeshi-

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Posted: 20 November 2012 at 4:53pm | IP Logged
WOW...!!! Awesome post Fatima ji...!!! Clap And I agree with you...!!! Nobody is wrong here...!!! Sandy n Suraj... Neither I can tell well he should go against bhabo to pursue the dream of her nor that she should give up her dream for the family's sake...!!! Its so confusing situation...!!! If Sandy was more careful about herself rather than others n wanted to pursue her dream with Suraj's support no matter what... I would tell that well its their personal decision... Bhabo shouldn't interfere in the matter... But bhabo's decision matters to Sandy n she wont be happy fulfilling her dream by going against her...!!! So her POV is right too...!!! Bechara mhara choora..!!! Sandwich between two...!!! OuchLOL

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ladyterp

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ladyterp

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Posted: 20 November 2012 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
Bravo!!! Bravo!!! To the episode and your writeup.  What a great reasoning from Sandhya.   She doesn't want to let go of the family she got through this marriage.  And her love for Sooraj should only become infinite now for his willingness to fall on the sword for her.  Yes, do such people exist in real life?  And how nice these two gems found each other?  Can you imagine how wonderful their offsprings will be?  Oh I can go on and on singing their praises.  I really loved the episode today.  A full blown heart to heart conversation.  Hope it continues in the GG room.  Can tomorrow come now already?

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-Amli-

IF-Sizzlerz

-Amli-

Joined: 10 January 2012

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Posted: 20 November 2012 at 5:47pm | IP Logged
Ammi - Jaan..Hug

I was anticipating your hathoda after watching tonight's episode.Wink.

A wonderful, marvelous, toppingly(Err! Not toppings that we add in Pizza or burger..LOL) analysis of epic episode in the history of DABH I think.

Don't worry I won't let you suffer from diabetics. In case you'll suffer from it, I'll FedEx you lots of fruits esp apples(I know you dislike it still..)Embarrassed.

Lemme get back to the topic, It was such a emotional episode na.. I didn't shed even single tears.Shocked. But yes, I became a softy - softy like a teddybear for SurYa.LOL.

What I sense here is:- Sooraj will convince Sandhya to attend night-school anyhow.(Remembered the offer Sooraj received to expand his business??? -- Everything happens for a reason in DABH.LOL.)

I've claimed many times:- I'm clone of Sandy but now I've to admit it - If I was in place of her then surely opt to pursue my dream. Dream is the driving force of any human's life.
As Sooraj stated:- Without completing your dream, You're nothing.Approve.

Edited:- Finally, I'm so happy to read some really appreciated comments related to my Sandy Baby.. Em! I love her a lot na.! also I equally love Sooraj! Blushing! Hug!Heart!Hug!



Edited by ami_dabh - 20 November 2012 at 5:49pm

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-Jamy-

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Posted: 20 November 2012 at 5:52pm | IP Logged
wonderful post Fatima ji..Clap!
I have not watched the episode yet. But what you wrote is pushing me to write two words.

When no one is wrong and everyone is right, it is better to choose to be with the biggest right, after viewing the issue from an impartial side. So I would choose Sandy should get her dream fulfilled, as Sooraj wishes...
Being too much practical always is not good, rather is foolishness. I really do not wish Sandy make a mistake again. I am dead sure, with permission of Bhabho, she will never be able to grab her dreams. Bhabho has strong perseverance and she will never let anything happen which is even the least dangerous to her son and his feelings. Waiting for her permission is just drawing circles in running water to colour them. Better start studying and face it as it comes. She may agree in future once it got started as she will have to admit her son only has sole right on his wife, than her.

What if she becomes unable to study after they decides to discontinue studies completely?
Who knows whether Bhabho will not play another foul play to keep Sandy away from her dreams?
Once you get tied in the kitchen of an illiterate family, you will either never raise to your dreams or you have to raise from ashes to fulfill your dreams. If you raise like a phoenix bird then, you will hurt others more deep, more than what you will be doing now.

Bhabho will never ever agree to anything than having kids. also it is not so easy for a lady to find enough time for herself to study when she aspires to be in a busy and responsible profession like IPS, that too after having kids. Once Sandy becomes mother she will have to wait until her kids reach a particular maturity. You cannot let your kids grow in anyway without your supervision. Everyone wants to enjoy each step of their kids growing. It will be difficult for Sandy to be away from her kids. So naturally another 10-15 years of dragging the dream...

keeping all these in mind, I have to agree with what Sooraj decided. So let her continue studies as soon as possible.

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ummesulaiman

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ummesulaiman

Joined: 04 April 2011

Posts: 17493

Posted: 20 November 2012 at 6:05pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ami_dabh

Ammi - Jaan..Hug

I was anticipating your hathoda after watching tonight's episode.Wink.

A wonderful, marvelous, toppingly(Err! Not toppings that we add in Pizza or burger..LOL) analysis of epic episode in the history of DABH I think.

Don't worry I won't let you suffer from diabetics. In case you'll suffer from it, I'll FedEx you lots of fruits esp apples(I know you dislike it still..)Embarrassed.

Lemme get back to the topic, It was such a emotional episode na.. I didn't shed even single tears.Shocked. But yes, I became a softy - softy like a teddybear for SurYa.LOL.

What I sense here is:- Sooraj will convince Sandhya to attend night-school anyhow.(Remembered the offer Sooraj received to expand his business??? -- Everything happens for a reason in DABH.LOL.)

I've claimed many times:- I'm clone of Sandy but now I've to admit it - If I was in place of her then surely opt to pursue my dream. Dream is the driving force of any human's life.
As Sooraj stated:- Without completing your dream, You're nothing.Approve.

Edited:- Finally, I'm so happy to read some really appreciated comments related to my Sandy Baby.. Em! I love her a lot na.! also I equally love Sooraj! Blushing! Hug!Heart!Hug!

 
Whatever happens down the road Emy...the more I think about it, the more I feel Sandhya made the right decision tonight.
 
It's as UMDU Ji suggested...Suraj is being too idealistic.  I don't know if it's because he's blinded by his love for Sandhya or it's because he's become fixated with the notion that everything happens for a reason and his meeting Sandhya's parents before their death was a sign from God that he is now responsible for her dream coming true.
 
While I can understand his POV...this same logic can be twisted to suit anyone's POV...as we saw Bhabo do when Suraj couldn't initially get Sandhya admitted into 3rd year.
 
Suraj also is either ignorant of or hasn't fully comprehended the long term ramifications an IPS career will have on their lives.  Sandhya is being more practical in this regard.
 
I agree everything in DABH does happen for a reason...and it is evident that despite Sandhya's refusal tonight...Suraj has not relented...so like Farhana said...let's wait and see how the CVs take this forward.
 
I have to differ with you on one point.  If I was in Sandhya's shoes...I would have done what she did...compromised.
 
Dreams may drive a person...but love conquers all.  And at least for tonight...it is Sandhya's love for Suraj, her love and sense of responsibility towards her new family, and her love for always doing what is right that was the driving force behind her decision.
 
There is no one right answer...but tonight I'm proud of Sandhya. Thumbs Up

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