NEW DELHI: Days after it was revealed that chowmein can lead to rape, a new textbook
for Class VI says non-vegetarian
"food causes you to easily cheat, tell lies, forget promises, be dishonest, steal and commit sex crimes". In other words, consuming non-veg turns you into a politician.
Apparently, it also turns you into a terrorist, as seen by Pakistani terrorist Ajmal Kasab's constant demands for biryani.
The claims in the book have led to outrage across the country. A number of criminals as well as incarcerated politicians have sought termination of their prison terms, blaming all their crimes on non-veg food.
While former telecom minister A Raja
has blamed his misdemeanors on a plate of butter chicken, former IOA chief Suresh Kalmadi
felt he over-ate some mutton-do-piaza before the Commonwealth Games
Even N D Tiwari claimed a dish of succulent seekh kebabs was the real culprit behind the "magical appearance" of a son.
Union HRD minister M M Pallam Raju called the text "unfortunate and an occasional aberration" while consuming the leg piece of a tandoori chicken. "It is a textbook case of a non-veg joke gone bad," he told reporters. A reporter than proceeded to pull his leg...err piece. The minister was not amused.
Later, some chicken-loving teachers threatened to go on a "book hartal". A spokesman for the Non-Vegetarian Teachers Association said: "We refuse to open a book till schools and the government turn text-savvy." A poorly paid teacher put it in perspective: "We have gone from non-wage jokes to non-veg jokes."
Interestingly, the book also lauds the Japanese for their vegetarian diet, which it says leads to a longer life span. Apparently, the author hasn't heard of the word "sushi". The Japanese also plan to include the text in a book, or rather a joke book.
Meanwhile, the sabzi mandi saw a massive increase in demand for vegetables, pushed by anxious parents eager to prevent their kids from becoming part of the government. In fact, a number of people from coastal states like West Bengal, Kerala and Goa have demanded that the government classify fish as a vegetable.
To top it all, many schools now plan to include a chapter on vegetarianism with pictures of scantily clad vegetarian models from PETA and do away with the chapter on sex education. A government official said no reference will be made to meat products or chicken barring the one objective type question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Well according to this eat non veg and go on a crime spree!!!