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Character sketch of the Rathi household members.

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
Since we have been watching DABH for almost a year now, I thought I will write down how I view each member of the Rathi household. We all may have different perceptions of viewing things , this is just my way of looking at it with my limited understanding on the subject. You may disagree with me totally. That is alright .I truly believe in democracy and like it when people disagree with me and many times I am compelled to change my opinion on people due to the force of the argument given. Please feel free to add your inputs to the thread to enrich it. Let us start.

Bhabo - She is virtually the head of the Rathi household. She has been bestowed this position by virtue of her husband not working. She has gone through difficult times in the past and in her struggle to keep her family safe from an acute financial crisis she was compelled to make her eldest son sacrifice his education. Her husband initially due to illness and later due to laziness never assumed responsibility of the house. She loves her husband but does not believe in respecting him as she blames him for letting her down when she needed him the most. She however values his advice.  She is cheated into getting an educated Beendani but has now reconciled to the situation. She is traditional in her outlook and has been brought up with a certain set of values which she will not change as that could threaten her position in the family as a supremo. She is extremely possessive of her elder son Suraj. She loves him so much that she cannot let go of him. She is crude, brash, egoistic and loud. She is uneducated and does not understand any other way of putting across her point except by shouting. Sophisticated ways of sitting and listening to others point of view are methods unknown to her. When ever there is a crisis she will convene the Rathi Panchayat, enlist the support of Chavvi, Mohit and Vikram if it is a disagreement with Suraj and forcefully and dramatically put across her point. She will use rule in the book right or wrong to maintain her hegemony over the Rathi Parivar. Her dictatorship compels family members to lie to get their way. Her attempts to make them speak the truth fails.  The waves of change which are approaching the Parivar make her feel vulnerable and insecure.

Bhabasa- He is very supportive of his elder son except in the IPS idea. He is very mature and gives sane and practical advice. He is ok with being given a secondary role in the family and the insulting tone of his wife. He is lazy and believes in talking not doing much work or contributing to the family financially. He is a hypochondria who often feels he is sick and needs medical attention. He loves Sandhya a lot and is a father figure to her.

Suraj- The eldest son in the household who assumed financial responsibility at a very early age. He is not very educated and is simple at heart. He has never asked for anything for himself and has only done for others. His siblings want his money but do not respect him and Mohit and Chavvi look down upon him as a rustic with very little sophistication. He however loves them unconditionally. He has a special bond with his mother and loves and respects her deeply. He cannot think of ever separating from her. This clashes with his love for his wife whose dream he wants to fulfill. Sandhya is the only one in his life who fought for his success and won it for him. She is the only one who taught him to dream big and achieve it..He is enamored by her beauty and her golden heart and is indebted to her for the sacrifices she makes for his family. His approach to the IPS issue was wrong. He should have approached Bhabo only for graduation first. He should not have taken Ankur's support for the play. His tactical error has made Bhabo regressive. He has also lost the only friend in the Rathi household Bhabasa. However he is determined to fulfill his wife's dreams. He does not openly revolt against his mother, not due to fear but due his deep love for her and is afraid to hurt her.  He has not thought of the long term implications of supporting his wife in her IPS dreams and may find it painful to be separated from her later when she clears the civil services.

Sandhya- The girl with a golden heart in the family. She is so selfless that at times one starts suspecting whether she is human.  She is deeply patriotic. She is very intelligent and has an investigative mindset. She lost her parents to a bomb blast and was cheated by her brother to marry a halwai. Having been brought up in a household to dream big she is shattered. All her life she has led a sheltered existence caring for not a thing in the world but her academics. She has been pushed into a family by fate where books are only to be used for making covers or to be thrown in radhi. She gradually adjusts to the new setup and bears all the abuses hurled on her. She realizes what a gem her husband is and falls madly in love with him. She accepts his family as her own and feels maybe God gave her back another family after having lost hers. She does not want her dreams to shatter the peaceful existence of her new family even though all her attempts to forget it have resulted in a failure.  She does not have too many elders she can go to for advice and so listens to Bhabo.She loves and respects Bhabo. She is only 19 and still not quite mature to handle difficult situations at home and goes by Bhabo's judgement. She does not talk to her husband about her fears as she is afraid she may create a rift between the mother and son.

Vikram and Meena- Vikram respects his brother and even loves him.However when it comes to money he is a miser. He does not believe in contributing to the household. He is henpecked but of late has began realizing the evil ways of his wife. He is afraid to expose her as at the end of the day despite all her antics he loves her. Meena is selfish and cunning and like a chameleon which changes its colour. She will go to any extent to get her way.

Mohit and Chavvi -  Mohit  and Chavvi are rude to their brother due to the following reasons.

1.Chavvi being the youngest and the only sister is thoroughly pampered by the family especially Suraj who forgives even her blatant errors.
2. Bhabo enlists their support in all family fights with Suraj. They are her foot soldiers her consistent supporters. As she uses them, they also take advantage and answer back. She lacks the authority to control them. She is afraid of losing their support in the long run so is not too harsh on them.
3.Bhabo constantly compares her children with Suraj. Whenever we are compared with anybody we hate it and resent that person. Comparisons always bring out the worst in us. Same is the case here. As Bhabo often calls him Shravan kumar, Mohit is the first to point out Suraj's mistakes as it gives him a high.
4.Neither Bhabo nor Suraj try to control their rudeness so their behaviour  gets reinforced.
5.To them Suraj is important only for the money part. Otherwise in their eyes he is an unsophisticated rustic.
6.Bhabo's dictatorial ways compel the family members to lie to get around her. Mohit and Chavvi are not different.
7.They are by nature selfish and self centered.
Chaturi and Chotu - The sweetest in the Rathi household and the only people after Bhabasa who recognise what a gem Suraj is and are supportive in all his endeavors. Chotu is like a son to SurYa. Chaturi hero worships Suraj and wants a husband like him. She also is grateful to Sandhya for saving her life.
        
        This was my analysis. I know it is exhaustive, but I can't help myself. Crisp writing is not my style. So if you have come to the end of this thread I thank you for having the patience to go through it.  Please feel free to add on whatever you feel is missing.




Edited by UMDU - 19 November 2012 at 4:55am

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 5:36pm | IP Logged
wonderful analysis uma ji. Three corrections I found from my point of view.


1. Sandy is not madly in love with Sunny. She loves him, but not madly.LOL


2. The peaceful Rathi family is only a concept of Bhabho. It has never been successful.


3. Sandy baby is 20 years old.

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 8:05pm | IP Logged
Uma aunty, awesome post ...
Character sketch of Rathi family members ..Loved d title n also d post ..
Its simply wonderful ... Thumbs Up Star Star

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 8:57pm | IP Logged
Excellent analysis UMDU Ji.
 
I would only add 3 things...
 
1)  I wouldn't say Sandhya is very smart.  She is book smart...yes...but simple tasks like sewing a button, cooking up some vegetables, or differentiating between 2 different types of flour are daunting tasks for her.  My 12 year old daughter can do better...so I'd say book smart..and not more than that. Ermm
 
 
2) She loves Suraj...but I don't know if she's madly in love...otherwise we may have had DBC already...LOL 
 
Ahem...no no...seriously...I think Sandhya loves her husband...but is confused as to how to show her love.  It seems to me she feels the best thing to do is keep Bhabo happy whether or not it hurts Suraj...thus keeping the peace in the family and the heat off of her husband...but I wonder if giving priority to Bhabo's whims is the best way to show her love to Suraj...I personally don't think so. Confused
 
 
3)  I hardly think Mohit and Chavi are Bhabo's loyal foot soldier...I don't think these 2 even know the meaning of loyalty. Angry  Rather they are the let's jump on the bandwagon types...you know like when someone is being kicked around...they join in on the tamasha crowd and throw in a kick or 2 for good measure...Dead...Would sure like to give them a kick or 2 in a place where the sun don't shine...Angry 
 
I do agree with you though... Bhabo's constant comparisons and putting Suraj on a pedestal has resulted in these 2 becoming resentful...and that only adds to their selfish nature.
 

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
Excellent.character Analyzation Uma ji of everyone. Especially loved the analyzation of Suraj, Sandhya and Bhabo.

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 10:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by June_Anne_Mary

wonderful analysis uma ji. Three corrections I found from my point of view.


1. Sandy is not madly in love with Sunny. She loves him, but not madly.LOL


2. The peaceful Rathi family is only a concept of Bhabho. It has never been successful.


3. Sandy baby is 20 years old.
Thank you JAM for your valuable inputs. Whether Sandy loves him madly or not cannot be concluded. She has not allowed consummation, if that is the reason for your conclusion than I can only say that her way of showing her love for Suraj may be different. She does love him deeply otherwise with the kind of taunts and humiliation she undergoes she would have called it quits a long time back. It is her love for him which makes her bear all the pain. It is her love for Suraj which makes her listen to Bhabo as she does not want to cause him pain by hurting his mother. JAM, I feel a person's way of showing love may differ from our ideas of a real husband wife relationship. I agree that they have not had physical intimacy which to me is unnatural after so many days of marriage. In Sandy's case despite her wanting to give up her dreams she is unable to do that. The fear of starting a family makes her withdraw. That however should not make us undermine her love for Suraj. The way she fought for him like a tigress in Singapore and the conviction she had in his abilities cannot come unless you love a person deeply.
         Yes with Bhabo's temperament Rathi family must never have been all peaceful. It must have been a roller coaster ride with Bhabo having her way
         Regarding Sandhya's age it does not matter whether she is 19 or 20 she is still very young. My point was to emphasise her youth.

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ummesulaiman

Excellent analysis UMDU Ji.
 
I would only add 3 things...
 
1)  I wouldn't say Sandhya is very smart.  She is book smart...yes...but simple tasks like sewing a button, cooking up some vegetables, or differentiating between 2 different types of flour are daunting tasks for her.  My 12 year old daughter can do better...so I'd say book smart..and not more than that. Ermm
 
 
2) She loves Suraj...but I don't know if she's madly in love...otherwise we may have had DBC already...LOL 
 
Ahem...no no...seriously...I think Sandhya loves her husband...but is confused as to how to show her love.  It seems to me she feels the best thing to do is keep Bhabo happy whether or not it hurts Suraj...thus keeping the peace in the family and the heat off of her husband...but I wonder if giving priority to Bhabo's whims is the best way to show her love to Suraj...I personally don't think so. Confused
 
 
3)  I hardly think Mohit and Chavi are Bhabo's loyal foot soldier...I don't think these 2 even know the meaning of loyalty. Angry  Rather they are the let's jump on the bandwagon types...you know like when someone is being kicked around...they join in on the tamasha crowd and throw in a kick or 2 for good measure...Dead...Would sure like to give them a kick or 2 in a place where the sun don't shine...Angry 
 
I do agree with you though... Bhabo's constant comparisons and putting Suraj on a pedestal has resulted in these 2 becoming resentful...and that only adds to their selfish nature.
 
Fatimaji, thank you so much for your inputs. Let me answer them one by one

1.Sandhya's inability to do household work is not odd in the Indian context. Your daughter has been brought up in the US. In India labour is cheap and most people hire servants to do household work. Whatever is left out is done by the mother. There is no opportunity for girls to learn. Her not knowing the difference between dals or sewing is very common here. I know a lot of girls in my own family who have learnt from scratch after marriage. Her mother may have prodded her to learn and the father must have asked her to ignore and concentrate on her studies. Her sharpness I feel is reflected in her investigative abilities and ofcourse academic achievements.
2. I have not used the word loyal anywhere. I have used foot soldiers word to show their consistent support to Bhabo. They may be doing it  for their selfish interests but they always are on her side in all battles. I also would not mind kicking them given the opportunity.
3.Regarding her love for Suraj I have given a detailed answer to JAM'S letter you can go through it.


Edited by UMDU - 19 November 2012 at 12:37am

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Posted: 18 November 2012 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
Thank you AHLMH , Shumi  and SAIBALROUTH  for  reading an exhaustive post and encouraging me.

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