It was the
day after diwaali and the writers of DABH came to work. They were to write the
screenplay for the next DABH episode.
Arey yaar! Last night full mazaa kiya! Party, khaana-peena,
patakhe, with all my friends and family! Lekin soney mey der ho gayi!
Ab itni subah,
dimaag hi nahi chal raha!
(Hey buddy! I had a lot of fun last night! Partied, ate good food, played with firecrackers, with all my friends and family! But ended up sleeping late! And now my brain isn't working so early in the morning!)
Sachchi yaar! Mera bhi haal kuch aisa hi hai!
Ab ye DABH episode
kaise write karey?
(So true buddy! I'm in the same boat as you! How are we going to write this DABH episode now?)
Kyon na ek remix
episode write kardey? Puraaney dialogues daal dete hai! Waise bhi, aaj kal sab
yehi kar rahein hai. Just recently, Himesh ne apne puraaney songs leykar, ek
naya song banaya. Apparently, usey buhut "yaad yaad yaad" tadparahi
thi! ... Like reverse amnesia, sirf past songs hi dimaag mey aa rahe the!
(IDEA! Why don't we write a remix episode? We will use old dialogues! Besides, everyone is doing this nowadays. Just recently, Himesh used his old songs, to make a new one. Apparently, his "memory memory memory" was torturing him! ... Like reverse amnesia, all he could think of was past songs!)
this, the writers wrote out the DABH screenplay, using some bollywood dialogues
and song lyrics from the past. Here's what they came up with:
Mohit stumbles in through the front door of the Rathi Mansion. His face
bruised, black eye, and he is all dazed
and confused . Suraj and Baabasa
notice him and rush towards him with concern and worry.
Mohit! Yeh kya hua
(Mohit! What happened to you?)
hua? ... Kaise hua? ... Kab hua? ... Kyon hua?" (
(Yes Mohit! "What happened? ... How did it happen? ... When did it happen? ... Why did it happen?")
(looking up at Baabasa with confusion):
aap kaun hai?
(Who are you?)
toh hum tumhare baap lagte hain! ... Naam hai Baabasa!"
("In relation, I am your Daddy! ... The name is Baabasa!")
Suraj: tu theek to hai na Mohit?!
"Kuch to bata ... arey kuch to bata!" ... Kuch to sign de ke tu theek
(Are you alright Mohit?! "Tell me something ... please say something!" ... Give me a sign to show that you are alright!)
pehle uska sign ley ke aao jisne mere haath pe ye likh diya!" ...
(Sign?! "First, go bring a sign from that dude who wrote this on my arm!" ...)
shows his arm, on which was written: "meri behen chudail hai!" ("My sister is a witch!")
Yeh kisne likha?
(Who wrote this?)
Superman ne! Usne apne laal dupatte se meri buhut dhulai ki!
(Superman did! He gave me a good washing/beating with his red scarf!)
and Sandhya enter the scene.
Hai mhara JAM ji!
Yeh sab kisne kiya?!
(Mohit! O My JAM ji! Who did all this?!)
Superman ... aur uski Rockerz
and Dazzlerz waali gang ne!
(Superman ... and his gang of Rockerz and Dazzlerz!)
KYA?! ... (camera
zooms in on Bhabho)
... "ek ek ko chun chun ke maroongi ... chun
chun ke maroongi!"
(WHAT?! ... (camera zooms in on Bhabho) ... "one by one, by picking and picking I will beat them ... by picking and picking I will beat them!" (or "I will personally beat each one of them") *This was the hardest dialogue to translate* )
(looking at Sandhya, still wobbly and confused):
aap kaun hai?
(Who are you?)
Suraj Rathi ... poora naam! ... Baap ka naam ...
Arvind Kothari! ... Maa ka naam ... Kanchan Kothari! Bhai ka ..."
("Sandhya Suraj Rathi ... full name! ... Father's name ... Arvind Khothari! ... Mother's name ... Kanchan Kothari! Brother's ...")
"Khamoshhh!" Ab kya poore
khandaan ka naam batayegi?!
("SILENCE!" Are you gonna name the members of your entire family and extended family?!)
usual, Daisaa, having smelt the opportunity to embarrass Bhabho, comes over to
the Rathi Mansion ... ofcourse with her pooja ki thaali
Ae Santoos! Main yeh kya
sunrahi hoon? Thaara chora maar khake aaya?!
(Hey Santoos! What is this I'm hearing? Your boy got his butt kicked?!)
Daisaa ... "Jinke ghar
sheeshe ke hote hain, woh doosron ke gharron par patthar nahi pheka
(Daisaa ... "Those who live in glass houses, don't throw stones at other people's houses")
woh sab chod Santoos.
Bas yeh bataa ki
aagey ka plan kya hai?
(Forget all that Santoos. ... Just tell me what the plan is.)
Main "Superman ka
(I "will drink Superman's blood!")
intezaar to gyaara mulkon ki police kar rahi hai (haan, haan ... 12th
se bhi baat chal rahi hai)! Lekin Superman ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, ... namumkin
(Is that so?! "The police of 11 countries is waiting for Superman (yes, yes, ... there are talks going on with the 12th country as well)! But capturing Superman is not only hard, but downright impossible!")
Daisaa ... "Zindagi mein
teen cheez kabhi underestimate nahi karna, ... I, me and myself!'
(Daisaa ... "Never underestimate three things in life ... I, me and myself!")
Arey wah! "Bahut jaan
baakhi hai thaare haathon mein"
(O wow! "You still have much life/power in your hands")
"Jab yeh dhaai kilo ka haath kisipe padta hain, toh aadmi uthta nahi, ...
uth jaata hai!!"
(Daisaa ... "when this hand, weighing 2.5 Kilograms, falls on a person, that person does not get up ... but gets up (all the way to his Creator)!!")
"Superman ke paas Ak-47 hai, M-6 rifle hai, JAMi hai!! Tumhare paas kya hai? Kyaa hai
(But Santoos, "Superman has Ak-47, M-6 rifle, JAMi!! What do you have? What do you have?!")
shot of Bhabho ... then
Daisaa ... then
Bhabho ... then
Daisaa ... then
the guy eating banana ... then
Daisaa's eyes ... then Bhabho's eyes ...
Bhabho: ..."Mere paas ... IPS beendni Hai!!!"
(..."I have ... an IPS daughter-in-law!!!")
Bhabho: "Chal Beendni! ...
Aaj teri Bhabho ki izzat ka sawaal hai"!!
("Let's go DIL! ... Today your Bhabho's reputation is in question"!!)
(raises her hand to salute):
excitement, she accidentally hits Suraj who is standing behind her
oh! Sorry Suraj ji! "Galti se
mistake ho gaya!"
(oh! Sorry Suraj ji! "By mistake, I made a mistake!")
"Koi baat nahi Senorita!
Bade bade deshon main aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hai"
("No worries Senorita! ... In big big countries, such small small things happen often")
starts to walk, to join Bhabho, but Suraj stops her
(whispering to Sandhya):
Sandhya ji, ye aap kya kar rahi hai? Bhabho ko rokiye!
"Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hai!" ... "When Superman die,
police coming. Police coming, Bhabho going jail. In jail, Bhabho chakki peesing
and peesing and peesing ... "
(Sandhya ji, what are you doing? Stop Bhabho! "The law has got long hands!" ... "When Superman die, police coming. Police comiing, Bhabho going jail. In jail, Bhabho grinding flour and grinding and grinding ...")
Accha accha Suraj
ji! Main samaj gayee. ... Bhabho! Mujhe yeh theek nahi lag raha hai
fayda dekhne se pehle, door ka nuksaan sochna chahiye"
govinda govinda govinda govinda GOvindaaa!)
(Okay okay Suraj ji! I understood you ... Bhabho! I don't think this is the right thing to do. "Before looking at short-term gains, we should think about long-term losses"!)
"Ek baar jo maine commitment kardi, ... us ke baad toh mein khud ki bhi
nahi sunti!!" ()
(DIL ... "Once I make a commitment ... after that, I don't even listen to myself!!")
(looking to add fuel to fire):
Arey haan Santoos! Main to bataana hi bhool gayi. Abhi
abhi mandir se aatey waqt maine Superman ko road par dekha. Woh 'Rathi parivaar
murdabaad' key naarey laga rahi thi!
(O yeah Santoos! I forgot to tell you. Just now, when I was coming from the temple, I saw Superman on the road, making "death to Rathi family" slogans!)
parivaar Zindabaad tha ... Zindabaad hai ... aur Zindabaad rahega!! ... Rathi
(WHAT?!! "My family was ever-living ... is ever-living ... and will always be ever-living!! ... Rathi family, the ever-living!!!")
that, Bhabho turns around and grabs the water pump in the aangan (Courtyard) ... and rips
it out of the ground (full on "Gadar" style!) !! ... Everyone is shocked ... background
music is loud ... Episode ends with a still shot of Bhabho holding the hand
pump and anger on her face!
(after watching the episode):
Haila! Bhabho ne hand pump ukhaad diya?!
(OMG! Bhabho totally ripped out that hand pump!!)
PART 1 OF EPISODE 2 by UMDU ji:
Scene: Sandhya is out on the street looking for our superman
Sandhya : Superman agar ma ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa warna patli gali se nikal ja.
(Superman, if you drank mother's milk, face me! Or else, get lost through the narrow street.)
: Suraj se shaadi kya ho gayi tum to beheno ke beech ka rishta hi bhool gayi. Have you forgotten I am your sister.
(As soon as you married Suraj, you completely forgot our sisterhood. Have you forgotten I am your sister?)
Sandhya : Yeh sister wister mujhe samaj main nahi aata. Mujhe is duniya main sirf aur sirf Bhabo dikhaye dete hain. Unhone kaha parivar ki laaj rakhne ke liye tum he pakdna zaroori hai to zaroori hai. Tum khud surrender karte ho ya do haath doon.
(I don't understand this sisterhood nonsense. In this world, I am only aware of Bhabho. She said that in order to save our family's honor, I must capture you. Will you surrender yourself, or do I need to use force (or give you two slaps)?)
Ami: Swami yeh main kya sun rahi hoon police aap ko pakad kar le ja rahi hai
(My dear husband, what am I hearing? The police is taking you into custody?)
Superman: Bhagyawan tum chinta mat karo jab behen ne hi saath chodh diya to kissi se ab kya kehna. Chaliye inspector Sandhyaji.
(My dear wife, don't worry. When my own sister has abandoned me, how can I blame others. Let's go Inspector Sandhya ji.)
Sandhya Bhabo ke saamne Superman ko lati hai (Sandhya brings Superman in front of Bhabho)
Bhabo :To tu hai Superman aur ye teri biwi. Kyon ri Ami teri saas ne ghoonghat dalna nahi sikhaya. Yeh sab humare yahaan nahi chalega.
(So you are Superman, and this is your wife. Why ami? Your mother-in-law didn't teach you to veil your face? This kind of behavior won't be tolerated here) (Ami boiling inside.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK ...
PART 2 OF EPISODE 2 by farhana:
Ami: Woh kya hain ki Bhabo ''Ghoonghat ke aar se Superman'ka deedar adhoora lagta hain''That's why I don't like pallu!(The thing is Bhabho, "due to the veil's interference, my view of Superman is incomplete". That's why I don't like veil!)Bhabo: Hey mhara...(Ami interrupts) (O my ...)Ami: Bhabo, Ram'ji ko itna tang mat karo...You know Aap jo yeh ghoonghat dalti hain it's injurious to your health. I mean apki mundo ka taapmaan aise hi high rehte hain, aur phir yeh pallu is adding more heat to it! Aap bimar pad jaogi aur dekhogi one day khud hi Ram'ji ke paas pahuch gayi! (Bhabo, don't annoy Ram ji so much ... You know, this veil that you use, it's injurious to your health. I mean, your head's temperature is always high as it is, and this veil is adding more heat to it! You will fall sick, and one day, you'll find yourself in front of Ram ji!)Bhabo: Waisa kya...Nahi nahi...I don't want to die before seeing my pota/poti! Le, hata diya pallu!
(Is that so? .. NO NO .. I don't want to die before seeing my grandson/daughter. Look, I have removed my veil!)
Ami: Yeh hui na baat...Bhabo aapko thoda excersize bhi karna chahiye...Meri patidev Superman, show Bhabo how to do it
(Now that's more like it! .. Bhabo, you should also do some exercise ... My lord-husband Superman, show Bhabho how to do it
( Samah showing some MJ moves)
Bhabo: Yeh bhi karna padega!!! Okay anything for pota/poti from SurYa!(I have to do this too!!! Okay, anything for a grandson/daughter from SurYa!)...Ami continues giving special advices to Bhabo and Bhabo keeps following blindly...
And you want to see the final outcome! This new and improved Bhabo!Moral of the story: Zindagi mein teen cheez kabhi underestimate nahi karna, ... Ami, Superman and their jodi!
(Never underestimate three things in life ... Ami, Superman and their jodi/pair/teamwork)Dekha na kaise Bhabo se revenge le liya!
(Didn't you see how they took revenge from Bhabho!)