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Aarti is to Blame, Not the Dubey's! (Page 5)

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DMKJ_VB

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DMKJ_VB

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Posted: 17 November 2012 at 1:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by annymous

do you know why people arent critisizing her, because it is not like she decided not to tell him, cant you see the guilt on her face everytime, she wants to tell him but yet she doesnt want to hurt the dubeys at the same time, it is not like she is having a good time, she has been worried since that time so how can you call her selfish then, and the reasons why people are angry with the dubeys is because they are making her feel worse, obviously that is not a good reason not to tell yash, i personally think she should still have, but you cant call her selfish and hate her because of that

That doesn't excuse her not telling! and she doesn't want to hurt dubeys, but she can lie to yash even after she knows how disgusted he is with lies? even after he told her he does not want anys ecrets between them?
I totally agree about aarti with saffie (ilovepyar). feeling guilty is not enough! what majoori is she talking about? i can't see what majboori she has ! sure the dubeys emotionally blackmailed her and she is scared, but doesn't she know Yash much better than the Dubeys? doesn't she know that he will never refuse to save someone's life? isn't this the same Yash who almost gave up his life for Ansh when he had known ansh for just 1 mnth or even less? isn't this the same Yash who was ready to die for a stranger- Neelam? Why did aarti even say "shayad yash ji maan jayenge"...why can't she still trust him? and yet she says :mujhe aap pe khud se zyaada vishwaas hai!". aarti's self thoughts and her actions are contradictory to each other! For God's sake, there is no majboori! Why does she still have to fall into the Dubeys' blackmailing trap? why can't she for once listen to what her heart says and do the right thing, that is , tell Yash the truth? 
Even Yash was emotionally blackmailed by his parents during the divorce phase, he didn't disrespect them, but neither did he do what he didn't want to. He knew his parents did not want aarti in the house, but he brought her back! He went against his dad and gave money for ansh's ransom! why can't aarti go against shobha and tell Yash the truth? or does she not trust him enough that he will agree to gv permission for ansh's BMT? sure he will be angry with aarti, but doesn't aarti know that Yash is that sort of a man who will place someone else's life over his anger? he might not talk to her, but he would definitely not stop ansh from donating bone marrow to Prashant! so what is arti's majboori? For God's sake, just accept aarti that u r scared to tell the truth, and stop giving excuses like majboori! I would sympathize with aarti if she said "I am scared that yash ji will start hating me", instead of turning this whole thing into a sacrifice and majboori!

as far as Dubeys are concerned though, I have to disagree with Saffie. They r manipulators to the core. They r most welcome to save their son's life, but what shobha did was the ugliest form of emotional blackmail, and that can't be forgiven. I am more disappointed in shobha, becoz she was the one who preached about morality! Where is her morality now? she can definitely request aarti for ansh's bone marrow, but to emotonally blackmail her deliberately? cheap.very very cheap...esp when she knows how influenced aarti is by her!



Edited by DMKJ_VB - 17 November 2012 at 2:01am

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DMKJ_VB

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DMKJ_VB

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Posted: 17 November 2012 at 2:09am | IP Logged
Originally posted by gmhatcher

I liked that you made a post but I have to disagree ( mostly cause I like disagreeing, it just makes things more democratic).
Aarti isn't to blame, she is a victim of her own convictions. She is at heart an honest person, in addition to that she is fiercely loyal to those she loves, and she loves deeply. The Dubey's are her family and she is incredibly loyal to them. Does that make her foolish? Yes, but most of us are when it comes to family.
The Dubey's have not dealt honorably with her or the S family. See this is the problem with lying, there's no such thing as a small lie. They intentionally set out to deceive both Aarti and the S family by saying that Aarti was a widow. Now lets follow the trail...
Originally they didn't want Aarti to know that she was marrying as a widow... when she found out and wanted to tell the truth they stopped her using guilt and debt ( at best an uncomfortable combination and at it's worse a deadly one).
Sr. Dubey has continuously lied ( by omission) about his contact with Prashant to Shohba...which since he didn't say that Prashant was not only alone but ill, left no room for Shobha to become sympathetic to Prashant's plight before he entered such an advanced stage of cancer
Then the Shobha doesn't tell Aarti about Prashant when she first finds out because of the pregnancy complications...good thought but at some point you gotta buck-up, but she didn't.
Sr. Dubey tries to forcibly take Ansh to the hospital ( for what I don't know) without Aarti or Yash knowing only to be stopped by Prashant (his only good act as far as I can tell and no I didn't forget he saved Aarti when she passed out in the woods). And Aarti finds out that Prashant is still around and has had contact with her son ( you know the one he's not sure is his). Instead of telling the truth they again do what... TELL A LIE, and so on and so forth until here we are...
Their lie, their mess, her fault. A day ago they were begging Aarti to tell Yash and she did ( we're led to believe he didn't hear her, but personally I still have a little doubt). Then they corner her after they left her son with an ill Prashant who proceeded to promptly pass out. Aarti took him to the hospital leaving her husband and family to do the needful. She left a gift from her mother-in-law to get medications for Prashant and she had no idea what was wrong with him until the pharmacist told her.
I understand why the Dubey's have done a lot of what they have done but their messy behavior is their own. That's how they choose to handle things, to apply familial love as an ax to the neck is absolutely unjust and that's what they have done to the most loyal member of their happy little band of thieves. And all this started from one little lie.
***NOTE***
I didn't assign blame because at this point everyone involved with the exception of Ansh (and since he lied to his Mom he's really skating the edge here) has contributed to where we are now.




what about her loyalty to yash? Loyalty does not mean only loving him and not anyone else, loyalty also means telling him the truth he deserves to know! But she as been continually lying to him, and still is. Feeling guilty is just not enough! 
Also what is this majboori she is talking about? why can't she jsut say "I am scared to tell the truth"! I would have sympathized with her then, though I would still have been mad at her for lying. But after yesterday's epi, i am even more angry, because frankly, she has no majboori. so why turn this into a great sacrifice, when its actually her fear of losing Yash when its actually a selfish ( and its not alwyas bad to be selfish,but natural!) action?

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gmhatcher

Nxt_rockstar

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Nxt_rockstar

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Posted: 17 November 2012 at 2:16am | IP Logged
Agree to you...
I never get the "willingness to tell but never told" part of Aarti. Whenever some problem occurs she recalls that I have to tell Yashji the truth. In normal days, she is just lazy in telling the truth. Intentions won't caress when Yash will be left with broken trust. Aarti is certainly wrong here...
She has to take decision

morris

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morris

Joined: 16 October 2012

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Posted: 17 November 2012 at 5:31am | IP Logged
I agree if we term Dubeys as selfish then in a way Aarti too comes under the same category.

Dubeys are in a desperation to save his dying son that they are blind to everything/everyone else. They know they'll destroy Aarti's marriage and are giving stress to her and the unborn. But her priority is more for their son's life than their 'daughter's' married life.

How long can we keep blaming others and situations for our mistakes? Thats what Aarti is doing. If she really want to tell the truth to Yash, she would have done that long back. She was in denial mode for long time so there was no need to think about the lie. Now Prashant came back and Dubeys(especially Shoba) left her side, she is forced to tell the truth but her love for Dubeys holding back. She herself said Yash is Ansh's father and is listening to Yash's trust words repeatedly. So there is no need to be still in dilemma. If she is ready to face Yash's reactions whatever they may be, she will tell the truth. Now this involves Ansh too. So in a way, she is selfish too for me for she dont want to lose(/hurt) neither Dubeys nor Yash.

Where Aarti stands front in character is she still thinks for Dubeys/Prashant situation though her married life is also affected. But Dubeys decided Ansh as donor without Aarti's knowledge which is very wrong. We can understand their situation but could not pity mainly bcos it involves a 5-year old kid. If humanity is tested in tough grounds they lost it miserably since they think of Ansh as a donor rather than someone else's child on the name of love for their son.

In hiding the truth, we cannot blame Dubeys alone and Aarti is part of their deception whatever be the reason.

lovely_nikki

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lovely_nikki

Joined: 11 November 2012

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Posted: 17 November 2012 at 9:58am | IP Logged
And because of all this stupidity of being emotionaally blackmailed by the dubeys, not getting the opportunity to tell the truth, being forced to lie and all, if anything happens to little Aayu, i dont want yash to ever forgive any one of them. Imagine with all these lies and deception risking an unborn childs lifeAngry. Its not pardonable. Atleast not for me.

gmhatcher

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gmhatcher

Joined: 16 February 2012

Posts: 529

Posted: 17 November 2012 at 5:34pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by DMKJ_VB

Originally posted by gmhatcher

I liked that you made a post but I have to disagree ( mostly cause I like disagreeing, it just makes things more democratic).
Aarti isn't to blame, she is a victim of her own convictions. She is at heart an honest person, in addition to that she is fiercely loyal to those she loves, and she loves deeply. The Dubey's are her family and she is incredibly loyal to them. Does that make her foolish? Yes, but most of us are when it comes to family.
The Dubey's have not dealt honorably with her or the S family. See this is the problem with lying, there's no such thing as a small lie. They intentionally set out to deceive both Aarti and the S family by saying that Aarti was a widow. Now lets follow the trail...
Originally they didn't want Aarti to know that she was marrying as a widow... when she found out and wanted to tell the truth they stopped her using guilt and debt ( at best an uncomfortable combination and at it's worse a deadly one).
Sr. Dubey has continuously lied ( by omission) about his contact with Prashant to Shohba...which since he didn't say that Prashant was not only alone but ill, left no room for Shobha to become sympathetic to Prashant's plight before he entered such an advanced stage of cancer
Then the Shobha doesn't tell Aarti about Prashant when she first finds out because of the pregnancy complications...good thought but at some point you gotta buck-up, but she didn't.
Sr. Dubey tries to forcibly take Ansh to the hospital ( for what I don't know) without Aarti or Yash knowing only to be stopped by Prashant (his only good act as far as I can tell and no I didn't forget he saved Aarti when she passed out in the woods). And Aarti finds out that Prashant is still around and has had contact with her son ( you know the one he's not sure is his). Instead of telling the truth they again do what... TELL A LIE, and so on and so forth until here we are...
Their lie, their mess, her fault. A day ago they were begging Aarti to tell Yash and she did ( we're led to believe he didn't hear her, but personally I still have a little doubt). Then they corner her after they left her son with an ill Prashant who proceeded to promptly pass out. Aarti took him to the hospital leaving her husband and family to do the needful. She left a gift from her mother-in-law to get medications for Prashant and she had no idea what was wrong with him until the pharmacist told her.
I understand why the Dubey's have done a lot of what they have done but their messy behavior is their own. That's how they choose to handle things, to apply familial love as an ax to the neck is absolutely unjust and that's what they have done to the most loyal member of their happy little band of thieves. And all this started from one little lie.
***NOTE***
I didn't assign blame because at this point everyone involved with the exception of Ansh (and since he lied to his Mom he's really skating the edge here) has contributed to where we are now.




what about her loyalty to yash? Loyalty does not mean only loving him and not anyone else, loyalty also means telling him the truth he deserves to know! But she as been continually lying to him, and still is. Feeling guilty is just not enough! 
Also what is this majboori she is talking about? why can't she jsut say "I am scared to tell the truth"! I would have sympathized with her then, though I would still have been mad at her for lying. But after yesterday's epi, i am even more angry, because frankly, she has no majboori. so why turn this into a great sacrifice, when its actually her fear of losing Yash when its actually a selfish ( and its not alwyas bad to be selfish,but natural!) action?

Aarti definitely is loyal to Yash , she trusts him too... those are not the issue. The issue is does she trust him wholeheartedly and the obvious answer is...not yet. Whereas she does trust the Dubey's ( Shobha at least) to always have her best interest at heart, and to guide her in the right direction.
I was raised in a matriarchal family, until my mid 20's what my grandmother said was law, there was no debate, after she died my mother became queen and we still butt heads over her decisions and my life but ultimately she gets her way and husband, friends, and children fall in line with whatever the game plan is. This is how it is in some families. So I get it...
The sun and moon can revolve around Yash but if the goals of the Dubeys and he are diametrically opposed there will be some serious thought that has to happen before she will go in either direction. And don't forget even though the Dubeys have given her some very bad advice in the past they have done it in a kind and caring way and she has been manipulated with a gentle hand, whereas not that long ago Yash was working out his personal demons in a very physical way that would have been very frightening to see. That display of violence would cause anyone pause about possibly being the cause of another such outburst.
I don't think Aarti is completely blameless in anything that happened or is happening, but I do think that her sense of caution is correct. She's emotional not stupid, but she would definitely be better served by following her intuition. All of us would but it's easier to say "follow your heart" than it is to actually do it.

ilovepyaar

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ilovepyaar

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Posted: 17 November 2012 at 8:06pm | IP Logged
Oh my -- so many responses. I'll reply to you one by one when I get the time! Keep discussing in the meantime! Smile

sweetsampa39

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sweetsampa39

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Posts: 5982

Posted: 17 November 2012 at 10:02pm | IP Logged
Agree in totality.

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