Marriages, personality vs looks

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Dostum

Groupbie

Joined: 23 October 2012

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:06am | IP Logged

I know many of you do not agree on MARRIAGES itself, however, this debate is NOT on that issue.

FOR THOSE who wish to start their life with a marriage, in all honestly, what is the priority for them? The look or the personality of the spouse?

How lost to wait to know someone's personality?

Can looks be avoided if it is accompanied by a careful camouflage?

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King-Anu,

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King-Anu

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Joined: 01 April 2009

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 11:18am | IP Logged

Answer from heart part 1: One needs to look good primarily and a great personality is a bonus.

Answer from heart part 2: One needs to have a great personality and looks are a bonus.

Answer from mind: Marriage is a union between two families and not individuals and therefore complete package is required and not only looks and personality.

Flimi answer: It is inner beauty that matters.

Western answer: Marriage is a a contract which is not required, Important thing is people are commited to each other based on looks or personality or any other factor.

Desi answer: meri ankhon mein aansoon tere aa gaye, muskaraane lage saare ghum. tujha dekha to yeh jana sanam. (i.e. both beauty and personality and everything i.e. very emotional)

Realistic answer: Marriage is a lottery where how both behave after matters more than whatever you base it on. Therefore all this does not matter much.

These are some observations that I have noted over time. Feel free to add more.

Edited by King-Anu - 16 November 2012 at 11:25am

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epiphany.

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 July 2010

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Posted: 17 November 2012 at 5:33am | IP Logged

Marriages, in all honesty dun seem oriented to any of these assets. Broadly speaking, Indian marriages are a well-thought and planned contract. They could look like a stale banana or a rotten papaya and have the personality traits of an ape, for all we know, matrimony is still happening to em because they are say, financially secure or have a rich family background.

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Dostum

Groupbie

Joined: 23 October 2012

Posts: 123

Posted: 17 November 2012 at 6:22am | IP Logged

Please don't blemish the institution of marriage in this particular thread! PLEASE?

I know many of you have very strong opinions against it. You can show us dozens of examples and bring out steller scientific analysis of how marriages are wrong or anything similar...

However, this thread is focused on MARRIAGE process ... not its flaws. Just the best approach to select ones BRIDE/GROOM TO BE, considering marriage as a sacred and romantic institution to be worked upon forever making it strong and letting it continue forever.

I know this is the debate mansion, but the focus of this particular thread is DIFFERENT. Let it remain with its focus. I welcome other threads with debates against marriage and I myself will participate there.

Looks vs. personality is a major issue in marriages. Just trying to look into it as to which one you feel ACTUALLY does weight more and why? Is it reasonable for that?

Me for once have seen lots of successful marriages, almost all worked and have been healthy with great confidence and honesty. My own marriage is working and its supposed to be a very diverse one. SO IT DOES WORK IF WE ARE SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

Lets look at the topic and stick to its focus.

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mr.ass,

epiphany.

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 July 2010

Posts: 14749

Posted: 17 November 2012 at 7:18am | IP Logged

I wouldn't discuss marriage with a bunch of analysts who are obsessed with everything Anti-Marriage. As it is, I have only seen arranged marriages around me, and they seem materialistic to me. As though sacredness and romanticism dun even happen to be part of their criteria.

As for personality VS looks, I think a presentable person cannot not have good looks. A great personality makes bad looking people look, like magnificent. Therefore I think that personality entails looks and that looks cannot be a separate criterion in the first place. If they have an affable disposition and a very charming aura about them, I wouldn't care if they dun have the best of looks. I will consider getting married to em, anyway, hypothetically speaking.

Heart

Senior Member

Joined: 06 November 2011

Posts: 400

Posted: 18 November 2012 at 9:26pm | IP Logged

Who thinks this way? "Wow, she is hot so I am going to marry her"..

In love marriage, you only marry someone you love.. In arranged marriage, you make sure the person has a nice personality, along with looks and various other factors. But will you marry someone solely because of his good looks? Sure, looks might attract you initially (or not), but I dont see a marriage (based on looks) lasting more than a few days or months.

Edited by Heart - 18 November 2012 at 9:26pm

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Prometeus

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 03 December 2005

Posts: 24263

Posted: 18 November 2012 at 10:28pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Dostum

I know many of you do not agree on MARRIAGES itself, however, this debate is NOT on that issue.

FOR THOSE who wish to start their life with a marriage, in all honestly, what is the priority for them? The look or the personality of the spouse?

How lost to wait to know someone's personality?

Can looks be avoided if it is accompanied by a careful camouflage?

Nobody will fall in love... everybody will decide consciously that "This is the one."... S/He has known so many people, s/he understands that this is the one who has those characteristics, those qualities that S/he has loved...and I think marriage is different type of friendship n understanding between two individuals.

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mr.ass

IF-Rockerz

Joined: 27 October 2008

Posts: 9197

Posted: 18 November 2012 at 10:35pm | IP Logged

personality without a DOUBT.

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Marriages, personality vs looks

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