Joined: 22 April 2012
Joined: 25 June 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
H lHe pulled his car in driveway with loud screech and in haste ran inside …. When he entered the house with such urgency, He could feel BB's gaze on him...As if his whole life dependant on it …yes his inside screamed, his whole life dependant on it, he ran towards his bedroom …Don't know what? But he has to find it …something which will lead him to truth ….He opened the closet and pulled his clothes one by one and dumped them in ground …when he did not find anything, he moved towards his bed …throwed the pillow and grabbed the covers and throwed it away in search of something not sure what? …not leaving a single corner of his room he searched ……After a while...Suddenly, he felt there is nothing to search just nothing …. Caught up in this endless illusion, hopelessly he pressed his hands on top of table and closed his eyes ….when he opened it, he saw it..The picture, wrapped safely and slipped deep in drawer ….not sure why, he felt this is it! Which he was searching all the while … unwrapping slowly he turned the picture. It is as if something his inside broke, something cracked open ….he stumbled back with sheer force with which it attacked him … He is there , in that picture wearing sherwani with red thilak on his forehead …..He looked so happy and content and right next to him...There she is! Nidhi …..Standing with smile on her face …the smile which can kill anyone …standing next to him in her wedding dress...with mangalsutra around her neck and sindhoor of his name ……!
He slumped on bed, trying to remember, recollect those memories of his and nidhi ….but he could not, he felt how hard he may try, there is nothing to remember, no memories ….no strings attached! …..His inside burned with pain, his head ached with sudden buzz …he felt so fuzzy and miserable….A rage took over, where a part of him struggled to destroy the picture which causing so much pain ..But somewhere he felt too protective about it…..All his face expressed so much rage and Loathing …He did not know what was defeating him but he sensed it is something which he cant cope…..at least at this precise moment …and at that moment it occurred to him that the pleasure of remembering has taken from him, it felt like losing a part of him...a part of being robbed away and a part of his life forgotten …..Snatched from him …! He closed his eyes in desperate attempt to block out the reality, but to find her voice …like distant whisper, it reached him…..He looked up at her …staring at him ,And it occurred to him, she is weeping ….for him, for them!
She stared at empty parking lot, wondering, pondering what just happened ….did he just called her name? Did he remembered her even for tiny wee of time? And what made him so miserable that he left in such haste …..Did he remember that she is his wife? ….Where he left and why? …Still lost in thoughts she stood there gazing, contemplating ...when suddenly she felt someone standing next to her ….she turned around to face Dr Ranganath …." Dr Nidhi, I was searching for you ….."
Nidhi looked at him …" yes ..I …..was "
He cut her in between …" its Dr Ashuthosh, I think ….I mean ……when he left he was bit upset …."
Nidhi looked confused …" what are you talking about ……?"
Dr Ranganath narrated the whole story, when he finished ……She simply looked out " I should have spoken to him before …….May be I could have avoided him to go through so much ….pain!"
Dr Ranagnath squeezed her hand …." Dr Nidhi, I think ….you should go ….he needs you now …."
She nodded her head and moved towards home ……!
When she came, saw him sitting in chair holding their wedding picture ….she tried to read his face…what is there in his look, rage, sadness, fear...Confusion or mixture of all these emotions …not sure how long , but she stood in front of him , waiting for him to speak ….vent out if that's what make him feel better!
But to her surprise, he simply got up and came to her and whispered "you are my wife ….?" In a voice so cold and devoid of emotions
She looked at him, to find his fingers slowly tracing on picture which he is holding…after few second, he spoke...More like whisper" what happened to me...Why I don't remember any of you …our moments...?"
"I was about to tell you ...Ashuthosh"... She reached out to take his hands, to comfort him..He pushed her hand away "tell me what? ……" he screeched in total despair
Nidhi forcefully took his hand …" Tell you, that you are my husband …that you lived a life where you fell in love with me ….fought with this world to get me…I wanted to tell you how much you loved me, how much we love each other .. …I wanted to tell you about all the dreams we shared …all the memories we cherished …I wanted to tell you how your face used to brighten whenever you saw me …. How you used hold me close when you slept, how much fun you used to have by just annoying me …how you used to try to please using your stupid romantic ways …. Ashuthosh, there are so many things, moments ……we shared, lived, they are so real … "
She stopped as sobs heavy, unbreakable sobs erupted from deep within...how she tried but she failed to hold it any longer ….tortured by her tears , he resisted with all his power not to go near her..He feared that he might say or do anything which will make her even more miserable. "…Nidhi, I wish, I could remember ….Remember everything you said…but I don't, I am trying hard but …I don't know …there is nothing and I don't know what to do"
Nidhi stopped Ashuthosh's rambling by wrapping her arms around his waist and putting her ear near his heart as through listening his heartbeat in between her sniffles. He refrained from crushing her in his arms in fear that it might be too hard to let go …he wondered, what is with this girl which make him melt, crumble to knees …just a minute before he was so adamant on destroying that picture, everything related to that picture …he so wanted to push her away from him …but when she stood in front of him like this …he felt there is nothing he can do..No matter what he felt ..he can't hurt her …Slowly he pushed her away … "….I can't remember anything ...I can't give you anything Nidhi….. "
Nidhi "are you asking me to leave you ...That you don't love me anymore?"
Ashu: how can I love you, when I don't have any memories of you...When I feel I don't even know you? "
Nidhi grunted …" If you don't love me then why you can't stand my tears..Why you told me that it hurts to see me in pain …do you feel like this for every stranger you meet?"
Ashu glared at her …" do you think it's easy for me …this everything, where one day I get up and realize I lost my memory …I don't remember that my baba came back , I don't remember that I fell in love , I don't remember that I am married …….How you think I feel in between all this ..Lost! I lost a part of my life Nidhi!..."
Nidhi cupped his face ..." I know …it's not easy for you …I just want to tell you , I want to be there for you in all this …that we will work it out ..We will find a way …"
Ashu looked at her …" What if…If I never recover... never remember any of those moments we spent….ever again?"
Nidhi smiled at him ..."We will get through this together...if you don't get through it then I will stay with you in it ….!"
She could sense very clearly that, for him past counted more than present, that remembering something more than possessing it ….She can feel his fear, his confusion..And more than that she can see his desperate attempt to dig up those memories …he looked like lost man, broken from inside …." Ashuthosh….cant you give one more chance for me, for us ….we can create thousands of those memories all over again...we can make it happen ..Don't you think so?"
When she looked at him with so much hope, expectation…he just wanted to give in and say "yes ".It amazed him, how firmly she took him under her wing ….. By telling him she is there for him...All the despair which he felt so far vanished just like that ….
Standing there, One thing he agreed, knew by now that from the pit of his stomach …from emptiness of his chest that he is falling for her all over again….falling for her in a way he can't stop…..But at that precise moment , He felt too much to answer her or to agree for what she is asking …Slowly he let go of her hand "Nidhi , it's not about creating new memories ….nor building my life all over again …it's about starting from a place which is unclear ..I don't remember what that last thing I did …what is that I left behind ….it's not only me and you ….but its cluster of those events which is lost ….snatched from me ! Now when I look back...there is nothing but blankness ….like a void filled those places where you said I lived …..How can I fill those empty spaces …and start all over again... Now …Please …If you excuse..i..i want to rest for sometime ….Please " before she could stop him , he moved away from her and leaving her in misery all over again ….
Anjie sensed something is wrong when she saw Nidhi coming …. she left whatever she is doing and went out to greet her. Nidhi gave one faint smile and hugged Anjie …" Andar aaja …maine tera fav Paneer ke pakode banaye hain , aaja kuch kale …"
Nidhi shook her head …." Nahi Anjie , mujhe kuch nahi chhaiye …"
Anjie glared at her …"arey , I am not asking will you have ..I am ordering you to eat ….come now" and she forcefully made Nidhi eat some food
Anjie looked at nidhi's face for a second ..." Ab bata ..Kya hua ? "
Nidhi looked down ..." you know what is happening Anjie ….He remembered my name today …!"
Anjie jumped out of her chair ..." he what?"
Nidhi "yes, he remembered my name …..And one thing led to other and he came to know all about it …."
Anjie ..." is he fine? I mean...you should be with him …..did you talked to him , told him about you both ..did he remembered anything about it ?"
Nidhi looked out .." yes , he came to know everything but he don't remember anything ……and you know what he told , he asked me to leave him …! I am not going to leave him...no matter what "
Even in that situation anjie smiled looking at nidhi's stubborn face …." Who asked you to leave him …he must be upset, oh common Nidhi "
"Upset! What about me ….even I am upset …"
Anjie shook her..." Nidhi, try to understand yaar...You are expecting him to accept you and he is there struggling to accept the reality ….how can you be so selfish? That guy need some time to digest the reality...for god sake!"
Hearing this tear welled up in her eyes.., anjie turned towards her ..." oh common Nidhi, now please stop crying …." She rushed to her and wiped her face …now listen to me carefully "you said, he remembered your name right?"
"See that is something we should be happy …."
Nidhi looked at her with confused expression ..." he just remembered my name...and nothing else …"
Anjie smacked her head ..." Nidhi, can't you see he took the first step ….he is trying to remember things ….maybe, maybe he is healing!"
Nidhi pondered on what anjie just said and after sometime she looked at anjie and gave broad smile …" yes, you are right..May be …I am just scared …I am scared that I might loose him ….and I am sorry, I acted so selfish ….instead of understanding his situation….I just concentrated on mine …."
Anjie …" I am not the one you should ask sorry for …now why don't you go to him and knock on your raja's khila till he let his titli inside …."
She winked at Nidhi …Nidhi pushed her away playfully and ran outside ….
Anjie shouted from inside …" Nidhi, wait...I will ask Dr Ranganath to drop you back, it's late …."
Nidhi ignored her and went outside in search of taxi ….Anjie looked at her retrieving back and muttered under her breath "stupid girl…"!
Ashu got up and opened his eyes groggily …he came outside to find BB and HK anxiously looking towards door. He looked around in search of Nidhi but she was nowhere in sight …. Bb came near …." Ashu ….wo nidhi tume kuch batake gayi kya ….usne tuje kuch call kya ?"
Ashu shook his head …" Baba ,..nahin tho…is everything alright ?...where is nidhi ….?"
Bb looked at him …" anjie , uski saheli ne tho call kiya tha ki wo uske ghar se nikal chucki hai …par abi tak nahi aayi .."
" nahi aayi …Kahan gayee wo …, uske number hai aapke pass …please call kijiye "
" Wo call pick nahi kar rahi hai ….beta"
Ashu took his car key ….." Baba , yeh batayiye uske ke saheli ka ghar kahan par hai ….?"
BB gave him address …" but beta …tum akele mat jaana main aata hoon …"
Ashu shook his head …" nahin Baba..I will manage, I will call you soon ..."
Before Bb could stop, Ashu ran outside in search of Nidhi …..
Nidhi got inside first taxi which she got ….after some time; driver asked her if she can take other taxi since there is some problem with his car …..as there was no other option, she got down and tried to search for a taxi but to her bad luck there was none …She walked a bit hoping that she might get one on the way … but even after walking for few minute she did not found a single taxi …so she searched for her mobile to call someone to pick her up …but suddenly she remembered that in between all this she forgot her mobile in cabin …in KGH. Not sure what to do ……she started walking a bit more all the while cursing her for not listening to anjie's word…Suddenly she sensed , someone is following her …she turned around to see there is no one , she shook her head and started walking again..This time again, she felt someone is following her….when she turned this time, she saw 2 men, slowly coming towards her …By the look of them she understood both are heavily drunk….before she could run away they came blocking her way …she tried to run away but one of them pushed her hard from behind making her fall on road …. She opened her mouth thousand time to speak but failed miserably...She felt as if something jabbed inside her throat making her gasp in fear …just then she saw a car pulling up and then miraculously there he was …Ashuthosh ! Nidhi sensed there was electric rage in his eyes as he proceeded to hit those 2 men …. One ran away as he saw Ashuthosh coming towards them, before another one also escape Ashuthosh pulled him by collar …..His faint sorry dispersed under Ashuthosh's punch….One last time Ashuthosh pulled him with sheer force when he loosed his grip, he ran away to save his dear life …
Nidhi came rushing to him and laid her head against his collarbone and he kissed her temples …to her shock, she felt shudder roll through his body about the same time she sensed his tears….She started to turn around when she registered his grip tightened around her shoulder crushing her in bear hug …..And he whispered in choked voice "stay …just let me hold you ….let me hold you for some more time …." And she let him hold her, take her in his arms by wrapping her arms pulling him closer and murmured "I am sorry …..I am damn sorry Ashuthosh " "
Joined: 18 February 2012
Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 22 April 2012
Joined: 16 May 2005
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