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what a woman wants... (Page 7)

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ladyterp

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ladyterp

Joined: 02 October 2012

Posts: 286

Posted: 16 November 2012 at 7:19pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by June_Anne_Mary

ladyterp dear, I am not saying Sooraj is completely perfect. It is impossible. He also has own set of drawbacks. But while comparing them with other men around, they are negligible. You compare a man with a man. In India, most girls of this era are like Sandhya or they have traits of Sandy at one or other point. Thats why we can understand her better. See personally I also have crossed hurdles similar to those of her though I am not married. Thats not the topic here. I just told aise hi... What I am pointing is almost all of us are having similar traits to Sandy. But how many of our Indian men are like Sooraj?? Compare him with other men. He is doing different things for her and she is doing different things for him. But I have not felt she is as much dedicated as he is in their relation. She has more dedication towards becoming a police officer than becoming a responsible wife I should say. That is not wrong because she has to realise herself what she is doing.


sisy thank you dear..


Ah, I see that you are concerned that Sooraj is not getting a return on an emotional/physical level from Sandhya.  That is correct but I think the CVs are dealing the cards of "forbidden love" here.  Although that is not exactly true (love is there) here but something similar because they are refraining/restraining from consummating the marriage to iron out the issues.  That is exciting to them and us who are waiting with a bated breath as to when that will happen.

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Brahmaputra

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 7:42pm | IP Logged
ladyterp yep. Thats why I am a little more concerned about him. Other guys from similar circumstances will never behave like him. They will always try to establish their authority on their wives.. I remember once while I was in OPDs, a man came with his mother and wife. He was illiterate but his wife has passed SSLC. They were not having kids. He asked us to advice his wife so that they can be more closer and get a child. We talked to his wife and she said she is completely devoted to him though she is his second wife. As a rule we did routine examinations and other investigations as this is a case of sterility. Finally the results came as the lady is completely healthy and the man is devoid of testis. He can never reproduce in his life. His wife will never be a mother because thats what our society is. Even if she gets divorced, she will never have a peaceful life in a normall village in India. That man was blaming us all we are supporting his wife for being ladies. The best part was his mother was also supporting her son saying she knows her son is a man and only a man is perfect, not a woman. His wife was simply crying. After some months we came to know he married a third girl. Another life also wasted. What could we do? Our society is teaching our men like this only. This is one incident. Daily similar ones are happening all around us.

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ladyterp

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ladyterp

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 8:03pm | IP Logged
@JAM, sorry to hear about your bad experience with this family.  It is of course these life experiences that broaden one's views.  Such problems exist even in the western world.  Women staying in abusive relationships etc. is very common here in the US as well.  Think about singer Rhianna.  Why on earth would she take Chris Brown back after he was physically abusive?  Coming back to DABH, I actually like that Sandhya's character is this complex.  They made her sweet and likeable enough for us and Sooraj to fall in love with and at the same time a little complex so they don't have to rush through physical intimacy part.  Once that happens, then it is just the daily grind :-)

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-Ayeshi-

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 8:33pm | IP Logged
JAM Mujhe kaise bhul gayee...!!! Disapprove Main hoon na with you defending our chhora...!!! Evil Smile
BTW I think its totally cvs faullt, not our bindni's. They r somewhere failing to show a woman's emotion properly...!!! Specially after confessing love scene, now I feel cvs rushed it to show it in Singapore...!!! Because I never felt like why she is not falling for him cause after the things she went through, its not that easy to fall for anyone no matter how good he is as a husband...!!! And their emotional level of relationship was also improving slowly...!!! But from the terrorism track the growth of their relationship just stopped...!!! And it stopped more from Sandy's side...!!! Ouch

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ladyterp

-Amli-

IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 8:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by June_Anne_Mary


shehjar di you are absolutely right. Nothing is wrong in what you told. But I feel you see things only from the Sides of Sandy. All are doing the same because they are finding themselves in Sandy. Even I too find me in her. But I feel I should think from shoes of all.Day Dreaming See I'm alone defending my boy & I'm happy with that. Now I clearly got why Sandy is behaving like this to her husband...LOL
@Bold:- Hai laa JAMi.. Are you seriously finding sandy in you???Shocked Silly.. Mujhe doubt hain 100%.. I think you find Sooraj in you not sandy..Confused

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b2011SwerveBae

UMDU

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UMDU

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
JAM, I would like to put across a few points here. While you have exploitation of woman in traditional households I am now increasingly coming across women in urban areas who are well educated doing very well financially and status wise, get married but after even 10 years are unwilling to start a family as they are climbing up the professional ladder and do not want a child to stop the climb. My aunt 's daughter who is the VP  in Citibank had a love marriage with a boy whom she had known from class 9th. Both did their engineering and than went to US to do MBA and than got married at the age of 26.She is now 38 and refuses to start her family.Last week I got to know they have filed for divorce.My aunt is shattered as this girl is her only child.All their attempts to make her understand have fallen into deaf years. A girl who knew her husband for 12 years before marrying him  could not make the marriage work. So when you see the other side of the coin one is compelled to see the unreasonable side of the weaker sex..Marriage does entail procreation and if you are not prepared for that than don't marry.
         Here in Bhabo's case everybody has argued that why can't she talk to Suraj about her fears. Bhabo overheard the conversation between Bhabasa and Suraj in which Suraj was unwilling to listen to the doctor engineer idea. He wanted it to be IPS and nothing else. Bhabo has heard her sons views. Suraj approaches his mother and says he wants his wife to pursue her dreams. You cannot lie to Bhabo and say there will be no separation.You cannot lie to her and say there will be no danger. What is the use than of a round table conference ?  No such assurances can be given about this profession.How can you expect a mother like Bhabo to accept such an impossible proposal. On the contrary if Suraj had just talked about graduation than she after some token protest may have agreed with Bhabasa prodding her. Here his revolutionary proposal has lost him his only friend in the family Bhabasa. To top his list of mistakes he enlisted Ankur's support in the drama which was a very big blunder. From Bhabo's side if she considers it the great Kothari conspiracy you can't blame her. She has now doubled her efforts to resist. Bhabo can be faulted for the methods she uses to make people bend, but in this I find Suraj being less far sighted than her. In his blind love for his wife he has not fully understood the long term implications of his decisions on him and the family. A man who could not keep away from his wife for a day and went running to see her will be condemned to a life of long separation either from his wife or mother both of whom he cannot live without.


Edited by UMDU - 16 November 2012 at 9:12pm

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ladyterp

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ladyterp

Joined: 02 October 2012

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 9:19pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by UMDU

JAM, I would like to put across a few points here. While you have exploitation of woman in traditional households I am now increasingly coming across women in urban areas who are well educated doing very well financially and status wise, get married but after even 10 years are unwilling to start a family as they are climbing up the professional ladder and do not want a child to stop the climb. My aunt 's daughter who is the VP  in Citibank had a love marriage with a boy whom she had known from class 9th. Both did their engineering and than went to US to do MBA and than got married at the age of 26..She is now 38 and refuses to start her family.Last week I got to know they have filed for divorce.My aunt is shattered as this girl is her only child.All their attempts to make her understand have fallen into deaf years. A girl who knew her husband for 12 years before marrying him  could not make the marriage work.


Sorry to interject but maybe your niece saw the divorce coming and did not want to bring kids into the picture complicating things further.  If one is already going through an unhappy marriage, bringing kids into the picture is not such a good idea.  I personally have a different view.  I think kids actually are a good buffer and make parents think twice before uttering the D word.  And Umaji, thanks for writing you POV on Sooraj.  I don't have to write one now :-)  I started putting down thoughts for a new thread "Sooraj is an idealist who thinks with his heart and not with his mind" but I am abandoning that one now.  I think we all know that the strings are in the CVs hands.  We are all trying to read too much into these characters.  In the end all of us want SurYa moments.  I for one sure do.  Sorry I blabber a lot and never even introduced myself properly.  Because of the nature of the work I do, I can't.  But in short: I met my husband and married him here in the US.  One month after marriage, I started my grad school, had my daughter in 2nd yr of grad school, and took 7 yrs to finish my Ph.D.  Yes, I did dedicate my dissertation to my husband.  We have a daughter, a son, and a dog.  So that was some tough thing to do but certainly doable.  If I can, anyone can !!  Is my husband a Sooraj?  Hell NO.  Am I a Sandhya?  Hell NO.  We are as perfect or as imperfect humans can be.  If I have a magic wand, I'd use it in a heartbeat to convert my husband into a Sooraj :-)

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 9:29pm | IP Logged
@Ladyterp Aunty:- Here is my new hire doggie chikku..Evil Smile


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