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what a woman wants... (Page 3)

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Juna04

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Juna04

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 7:42am | IP Logged
JAM you have made a very nice post and frankly I consider you as brave to make such a debatable and complicated topic.  There are so many different ways of looking at this and I understand that you have made your topic based on majority of men from Male-dominated society.

I am surrounded by men a lot like Suraj so my way of looking at men differs because I find women are now getting more aggressive and demanding and self-centered.  I am talking about the independent women of modern world.

Also the women historically have been enemies of women...  if women were more supporting of other women there would be more peace and harmony.

Sorry for deviating from your topic but I just wanted to share my opinion and please did not mean to offend or hurt anybody's sentiments.

Also JAM I have another thought if Sandhya was some other girl who continued to stay in the house but was rebellious or sneaky and self-centered... Would Suraj have been the same man?  How would he have responded to regular fights in the house?  Surely as is his personality he would remain the same but would have been miserable and his frustrations would come out in some form.

The same goes with women they are frustrated with the situation and learn to adapt with the bad situation by accepting the fate and changing their thinking.  This is exactly what Sandhya is doing now except it is another woman Bhabho who is making her do it and not her husband Suraj...


Edited by Juna04 - 15 November 2012 at 7:48am

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Juna04

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 8:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ayeshi_101

Hmmm JAM I got it now...!!! I think somewhere we women let men dominate us so easily...!!! We become afraid to raise our voice...!!! We hide their faults n wrongdoings from everyone...!!! Moreover we depends on them financially that made us think how I am gonna spend my life...!!! In fact I think a financially strong woman can not be dominated so easily by a man...!!!
This point is debatable because I have met women who are doctors, lawyers and engineers and living in abusive relationships for years.   There are many reasons for this and major reason is children involved.  But some without children also continue to live in such a relationship and the issues are very complicated.  But one thing I can say for sure women are women's worst enemies too.
 So at first we need to make us strong...!!! I have seen many women who r ready to tolerate husband's dominance but not ready to give up their marriage n husband...!!! I hardly feel pity for them...!!! And sacrificing for someone is worthless when u can never expect the same from him next time...!!!  As I said women helping other women in such situations will make women stronger...
But thanks God men like Suraj still exist...!!! I never want a partner who will give up his self-respect for me cause I wont do that for him either...!!! I want a partner who will make me more strong, more self-dependent, more meaningful, more novel as person n as a human-being...!!! And I am thousand time lucky than Sandy cause I have someone like Suraj n luckier than Sandhya cause my in-laws r as understanding as him...!!!
Me too we are the lucky few with a Suraj like husband and In-laws who are equally good and understanding...


Thanks JAM again for allowing us to discuss on your thread... You are a good writer and it was interesting reading the comments on this thread too.
Shirin I used your post as I found some valid points to talk here... so thanks a lot

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 9:33am | IP Logged
shirin you have raised valid points. If we want change it should start from the women only. Because in India, we are not taught to be confident. All what a girl hear is you are a girl so stay behind. That will make her naturally hesitated to take a step. The bad and sad thing is their mothers only are teaching them such things. Also where do an Indian mother teach her son to respect ladies? They are taught to dominate women in most cases. Even among educated families, it stays the same... Lucky are you to find a man like Sunny. One of the most lucky girl in India. In our circumstances, its like searching gold in sea water. Of course gold is there in sea. But who will get it is a riddle.


vishnu thank you dear. Equally balancing is only a nightmare in India. I think that is the biggest reason why DABH is a big hit. Because we are watching what we want to have in our lives on screen..

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ShahSantosh143

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 9:37am | IP Logged
Lovely post, u r absolutely right the best gift can be given to a woman is to understand her, respect her and to support her. 

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 9:57am | IP Logged
sri thank you dear.


juna di thanks a lot for such an overwhelming appreciation. while writing this post, I had many thoughts in my mind regarding the issue. There must be the other side of a coin. And you have portrayed the scene wonderfully... As you told I'm from male dominated circumstances so I considered only Indian scenario here.. Its a himalayan task in India to find a man like Sunny. You are lucky you also got a Sun shining... I too know a few men here who are like Sooraj. But I can count them with my fingers..LOL.

its true women only are always the biggest enemies of women. Let me share an incident that happens daily. Its common in India to get teased by men in buses while you are travelling. The worst part is no woman will support you if you question the one who taunts you.. Believe me. Its true. Instead they will call you arrogant and hyper-reactive passing comments as you are an alien...

earning women will be thinking like men only. When they can stand on their foot, who they should be afraid of? What else they need? The thought 'I'm something' is enough to raise ego. Because when they find freedom one day, they become overconfident. But they do forget there are some things that cant be earned... They need to learn balancing between both..

I did not think the way you told about Sandy. If she were like this, Sunny must have been suppressing everything inside himself and land up hurting himself for his frustrations... I can understand Sandy but cannot agree with the fact that she did not mind at least to console him.. But that is how people behave in real life. I hope she learns it. She is much younger than him. So that difference can be seen in her thoughts.

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-Ayeshi-

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 10:27am | IP Logged
@ Juna... U said it right... Sometimes even educated women with good family background r afraid to raise their voice... I would curse our traditional society for that...!!! Divorce is a big issue in our society... If someone is separating form her husband, no matter how terrible the reason is... People around u will give u a look like u have three nose in ur face...!!! They will gossip about u with every possible angel n details..!!! Mothers think of their children n endure 4 them because how the soceity will make feel their children after their parents got separated more than because her children will miss their father or mother..!!! In western country even after a bad divorce parents maintain a healthy relatioship 4 sake of their children...!!! In our society, u r meeting ur ex-husband or ex-wife... Its even make more gossip about you...!!! People r more concern about other's life than their own lives...!!! I am not saying all thing are bad in our society but in this matter... They really should broaden their mind...!!!
I have always seen my in life male friend r even more helpful than female friends...!!! Female friends r somewhere competing with each other always (I have many actual good female friends too). But you can not know how a person will be as a life partner until he becomes ur life partner... Some men r good in general 4 all people around him, but dominating in the house with their wives...!!!


Edited by ayeshi_101 - 15 November 2012 at 10:39am

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harathi5

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 10:37am | IP Logged
Awesome post Jam.. :) especially the last para.. Yes respect and understanding are the most important things a female needs.. The unconditional love without expectations... Omg!!! Mind-blowing words :)

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Posted: 15 November 2012 at 10:43am | IP Logged
shirin from my experiences I have learnt is it is very easy to convince the illiterate and the most difficult to convince the educated. The educated only are more sticking to stupid traditions than the uneducated. For them, its a very beautiful thing to speak about women rights, but very hard to follow. In fact, problems are more senseless when it comes to an educated family. Dont you remember in Satyamev Jayate it has been shown that forceful abortion is more among the educated..

after divorce, our society will blame only the woman as the reason for the divorce. Men are always excused. Also men will get married easily. Most divorced women have to live alone or get adjusted to another relation only for sake of their kids. I better not speak about divorce more.

men are always good friends for women, but need not to be a good husband everytime. Lucky are those who find a friend in their husband...

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