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the needed and the NOT needed (Page 4)

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-SamiR-

Goldie

-SamiR-

Joined: 12 October 2012

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Posted: 14 November 2012 at 5:49pm | IP Logged
Great post JAMi! You made some valid points and raised relevant questions! Star I agree with what you said, but to keep it balanced, I tried to make an attempt to understand Sandhya's character. Here's what I came up with Smile:

It is said that emotions play an important role in motivating our behaviours. Some have classified certain emotions as being basic; the emotions at the elementary level, which we all share. One list of basic emotions goes as follows: anger, joy, sadness, disgust, surprise, and fear (now, any list of basic emotions is highly debatable, but for argument's sake, let's accept this list by Ekman). I want to evaluate Sandhya's behavior of avoiding Suraj through this list of emotions. Which emotion/s can justify her actions?

We know Sandhya is not angry with Suraj, but far from it. She appreciates his efforts, as evident from her thoughts when seeing the application form. She is definitely not happy with the situation; she has been crying buckets over the past few days! So joy is out of the question. She is definitely sad. But she is sad for Suraj's ordeal, and sadness doesn't explain why she wouldn't talk to Suraj. Disgust and surprise don't make sense either. So now we are left with fear. Can this be the emotion that's motivating Sandhya to keep away from the 'potentially legendary SurYa convo'? I believe so.
 
But fear of what?! I would say it is the fear of love, of truth, of destruction, of pain! Fear of the love that SurYa share for each other. The love that makes Suraj understand every dhadkan of Sandhya. The love that empowers Suraj to fight the world for Sandhya's happiness. Fear of the truth that can't be hidden from Suraj, no matter how hard Sandhya tries. The truth: that Sandhya cannot erase her dream. She tried, oh so hard, to cut away a part of her with a hacksaw, as Bhabho cheered her on with encouragement! And we all witnessed the blood, the tears, and yes, even the 'tel'! Shocked Oh the horror! No matter how hard she tries to convince others or even herself, she knows deep down that her wound will not heel and her dreams will grow back. She managed to convince Bhabho, but she knows that she can't hide her truth from Suraj. The moment she talks about it, Suraj will know. Just like he knew Sandhya was lying in the aangan when Bhabho was cooking the khichdi (literally), and just like he knew she was lying in the GG room, when Bhabho was cooking the khichdi (figuratively). So she fears that Suraj will know her truth and she fears the love that will drive Suraj to fight. And she fears the destruction that could result from this fight. The destruction of relationships, which we have talked a lot about (and I don't want to go through all that here, again). She fears the pain that is bound to result from this destruction.
 
So I think it is out of these fears that Sandhya is trying to avoid having a conversation with Suraj. Even consoling him can be risky, as this can easily lead to that dreadful conversation. Heck, even a sign of reaching out to him can be risky; someone pointed out elsewhere that it looked like Sandhya was trying to reach and touch Suraj's hand when giving him the towel, but then pulled back (presumably out of fear). Now, coming to today's dreamy convo, we saw a hint of Sandhya's fears being realized: when Suraj was talking about doing things with good intentions, Sandhya's smile subtly changed to sadness, which Suraj obviously noticed. If destiny had not helped Suraj, that expression of Sandhya's would've ground up Suraj's heart in a blender! 

As for BhaSan convos, Sandhya has no such fears here. She has already convinced Bhabho (at least superficially, but that's another debate), and she doesn't have to worry about Bhabho knowing her truth. And trying to 'console' Bhabho is the next best step she can take. As far as she knows, Suraj has failed in his attempt and by not giving him any source of encouragement, she is hoping that he will back down. In the mean time, she is trying to make things better between Bhabho and Suraj, which could help Suraj in the heeling process. Anyways, let me stop here, and I hope at least half of what I said made sense! Confused


Edited by -SamiR- - 14 November 2012 at 5:52pm

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ladyterpUMDU-Amli-

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-Jamy-

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Posted: 14 November 2012 at 6:00pm | IP Logged
sita di Thanks a lot. I feel that might be an editing problem. When they take two shots at different times, it may happen I think. In the bus accident scene and all Deepika has amazed me with her voice modulation. Also in the college ceremony scene. May by my day dreaming, dont know how many else felt the same.


ladyterp I too find Rashmi(chaturi) a bit over acting at times. But Shehrish (Chavi) is a better actress I have felt. Because her character is like what you told. It has very less positive sides. And she landed up successfully in making us hating Chavi I felt.


priya 'chaliye..' was the most weird thing she told ever. Where to go? That he should walk with pain in his heart...??? Its true her character is confusing... May be that complexity it needed to be an IPS officer.


UMA ji thank you. What you told is exactly right. When he is going to start living for himself? When he wants to get his wishes fulfilled? I really dono. Two things confuse me. One is Sandy's nature. Another is Sooraj being so altruistic.. Both are dangerous.

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-Jamy-

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Posted: 14 November 2012 at 6:10pm | IP Logged
samir ji Hug.Hug fabulous and sensible reply. I totally agree with your every word... You are simply awesome. See Hiral ji's throne is empty here. It is waiting for you..

Edited by June_Anne_Mary - 14 November 2012 at 6:11pm

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UMDU

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UMDU

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Posted: 14 November 2012 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -SamiR-

Great post JAMi! You made some valid points and raised relevant questions! Star I agree with what you said, but to keep it balanced, I tried to make an attempt to understand Sandhya's character. Here's what I came up with Smile:

It is said that emotions play an important role in motivating our behaviours. Some have classified certain emotions as being basic; the emotions at the elementary level, which we all share. One list of basic emotions goes as follows: anger, joy, sadness, disgust, surprise, and fear (now, any list of basic emotions is highly debatable, but for argument's sake, let's accept this list by Ekman). I want to evaluate Sandhya's behavior of avoiding Suraj through this list of emotions. Which emotion/s can justify her actions?

We know Sandhya is not angry with Suraj, but far from it. She appreciates his efforts, as evident from her thoughts when seeing the application form. She is definitely not happy with the situation; she has been crying buckets over the past few days! So joy is out of the question. She is definitely sad. But she is sad for Suraj's ordeal, and sadness doesn't explain why she wouldn't talk to Suraj. Disgust and surprise don't make sense either. So now we are left with fear. Can this be the emotion that's motivating Sandhya to keep away from the 'potentially legendary SurYa convo'? I believe so.


 
But fear of what?! I would say it is the fear of love, of truth, of destruction, of pain! Fear of the love that SurYa share for each other. The love that makes Suraj understand every dhadkan of Sandhya. The love that empowers Suraj to fight the world for Sandhya's happiness. Fear of the truth that can't be hidden from Suraj, no matter how hard Sandhya tries. The truth: that Sandhya cannot erase her dream. She tried, oh so hard, to cut away a part of her with a hacksaw, as Bhabho cheered her on with encouragement! And we all witnessed the blood, the tears, and yes, even the 'tel'! Shocked Oh the horror! No matter how hard she tries to convince others or even herself, she knows deep down that her wound will not heel and her dreams will grow back. She managed to convince Bhabho, but she knows that she can't hide her truth from Suraj. The moment she talks about it, Suraj will know. Just like he knew Sandhya was lying in the aangan when Bhabho was cooking the khichdi (literally), and just like he knew she was lying in the GG room, when Bhabho was cooking the khichdi (figuratively). So she fears that Suraj will know her truth and she fears the love that will drive Suraj to fight. And she fears the destruction that could result from this fight. The destruction of relationships, which we have talked a lot about (and I don't want to go through all that here, again). She fears the pain that is bound to result from this destruction.
 
So I think it is out of these fears that Sandhya is trying to avoid having a conversation with Suraj. Even consoling him can be risky, as this can easily lead to that dreadful conversation. Heck, even a sign of reaching out to him can be risky; someone pointed out elsewhere that it looked like Sandhya was trying to reach and touch Suraj's hand when giving him the towel, but then pulled back (presumably out of fear). Now, coming to today's dreamy convo, we saw a hint of Sandhya's fears being realized: when Suraj was talking about doing things with good intentions, Sandhya's smile subtly changed to sadness, which Suraj obviously noticed. If destiny had not helped Suraj, that expression of Sandhya's would've ground up Suraj's heart in a blender! 

As for BhaSan convos, Sandhya has no such fears here. She has already convinced Bhabho (at least superficially, but that's another debate), and she doesn't have to worry about Bhabho knowing her truth. And trying to 'console' Bhabho is the next best step she can take. As far as she knows, Suraj has failed in his attempt and by not giving him any source of encouragement, she is hoping that he will back down. In the mean time, she is trying to make things better between Bhabho and Suraj, which could help Suraj in the heeling process. Anyways, let me stop here, and I hope at least half of what I said made sense! Confused

Agree with you totally that it could be the fear of revealing her thoughts that may prevent Sandhya from going behind Suraj as despite all her efforts she is unable to forget her dreams. However having said that why did they name this serial Diya aur Bati Hum. It should have been 'Rail ki pathadi' as they always seem to be moving  parallelIy .Diya and bati  are never supposed to be away from each other. Here starting with history in the 15 day track Suraj hid the fact he was the one who put pressure on Meena on the jewellery issue. That has still not come to light. During WTC track both went opposite ways and it was in and out a Sandhya battle. In the terrorism track she never shared any information with Suraj and till the end kept him in dark. Now in this track Suraj is working alone with no support from has family or wife. I am not that bad in Hindi not to understand that they are moving away from the essence of the story of Diya aur Bati being together in all their struggles in life and sharing even the smallest of apprehensions. Why after almost a year of marriage that level of mental compatability has not been established ?  I think that has to do with lack of physical intimacy which would have brought them closer. They are still strangers always wondering what the other is thinking but never having the level of openness to ask. Railway tracks may go to the same destination but they never meet. I find SurYa situation similar.Both in their own paths but never meeting. My romantic mind cannot and will not accept this distance. I want them now after college track starts to start behaving like true Diya aur Bati.


Edited by UMDU - 14 November 2012 at 6:28pm

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-SamiR-

-Amli-

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Joined: 10 January 2012

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Posted: 14 November 2012 at 6:35pm | IP Logged
Yoo! YooO! Mere SaMir uncle aa gayi to take my sandy baby's side n fill the gap of Anusha Amma.

Now I am off to sleep peacefully.

@SaMir uncle- Ekdum 'faadu' reply diyaa hain bole toh mast with full proof. I loved it from the core. I Lub you so much. Hug

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Posted: 14 November 2012 at 6:44pm | IP Logged
samir oops. I'm sorry. I have already told I will not take her name again. Still see what I did. Let Amma's throne be empty there. I shall get a new and more beautiful one for you.

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-SamiR-

-SamiR-

Goldie

-SamiR-

Joined: 12 October 2012

Posts: 1400

Posted: 14 November 2012 at 6:56pm | IP Logged
JAMi - Aww ... you're too kind! I'm just glad my write up was comprehensible. All credit to you for making me think in that direction Thumbs Up. I'm sure Anusha ji would've given a much more clever reply.

UMDU ji - correction: 'rail ki pathadi HUMLOL ; loved the title. Like I've always said, DBC should've happened long time ago Disapprove. I think you have a point, but the examples you mentioned could be explained; for instance, Sandhya had to keep Suraj in the dark during terrorism track, due to security reasons. Anywho, I agree with you that physical intimacy is lacking. But I just wanted to point out (this may be unrelated) that comparing SurYa and expecting them to be on the same level is unrealistic. They are two different people with different histories, traits, strengths, and weaknesses. They are bound to behave differently in different situations. Just like baati is flammable, while the diya can withstand heat, and even provide protection to others, while still coexisting in harmony. Sorry for going off topic Unhappy

ami - bole toh, it looks like you've been hanging out with bhai loog, a little too much LOL ... 'Ae ... kya bolti tu ...' Tongue


Edited by -SamiR- - 14 November 2012 at 7:11pm

UMDU

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UMDU

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Posts: 3183

Posted: 14 November 2012 at 7:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -SamiR-

JAMi - Aww ... you're too kind! I'm just glad my write up was comprehensible. All credit to you for making me think in that direction Thumbs Up. I'm sure Anusha ji would've given a much more clever reply.

UMDU ji - correction: 'rail ki pathadi HUMLOL ; loved the title. Like I've always said, DBC should've happened long time ago Disapprove. I think you have a point, but the examples you mentioned could be explained; for instance, Sandhya had to keep Suraj in the dark during terrorism track, due to security reasons. Anywho, I agree with you that physical intimacy is lacking. But I just wanted to point out (this may be unrelated) that comparing SurYa and expecting them to be on the same level is unrealistic. They are two different people with different histories, traits, strengths, and weaknesses. They are bound to behave differently in different situations. Just like baati is flammable, while the diya can withstand heat, and even provide protection to others, while still coexisting in harmony. Sorry for going off topic Unhappy

ami - bole toh, it looks like you've been hanging out with bhai loog, a little too much LOL ... 'Ae, kya bolti tu ...' Tongue
Samiji loved your explanations.However it is always the case that individuals are different but when they marry they share their joys and sorrows. In very rare cases husband and wife think alike even if they are from similar backgrounds.It was not just terrorism track but in all the tracks they have been secretive. I liked your point on Diya withstanding heat and Bati burning away. You should not forget that they never part and always are together through thick and thin despite different characteristics. Here they are not. Lekin ek baat samajhiye isme Diya kaun aur bati kaun ?Shocked

Edited by UMDU - 14 November 2012 at 8:12pm

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