Posted: 14 November 2012 at 3:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ah99
All your replies are valid, again. But point of contention is also the same, again. Bottom line is that Bhabho does not want Sandhya to study. Tears in her eyes when Suraj-Babasa conv took place- becos of the shocker, in her reaction to suraj was, 'tune yeh baat mere saamne laane ki zurrat kaise ki' or some such thing. if fear for sandhya's life and her safety were the only things on her mind, then the first reaction could have been like,' tu isske khatre nahi jaanta hai, maine tujhse zyada duniya dekhi hai beta, agar beendni ki kuch ho gaya to tu kaise jiyega' or some such thing, right?
Also, I find Bhabho's nature put offish when she lets Mohit and Chavi blabber and trample Suraj all over the place. The other day also, only when Meena started taunting Suraj, she thought it was necessary to intervene and say no one should say anything to Suraj. Why didnt she say anything sooner?
One more thing, if unsurpassed love for her son is the only feeling Bhabho has, then the Hoi scene is impossible. No matter how angry a mother is, that too, a traditional mother like Bhabho who beleives in reeti-riwaaj, subh-ashubh etc. Never can such a mother not bless her son when he touches her feet on a festival, tht too on Hoi. Anger has its place, and reeti-riwaaj and superstitions have their place, right? How could Bhabho not bless Suraj, to me, it was the worst behaviour of her's till date. And yes, I am including all the earlier incidents like water-filling episode, papad, jewelry and also burning the form.
But then like you said, we agree to disagree on this. I only raised the question because your primary defense for Bhabho all along is that she fears for her son and DIL's happiness and safety. I am not trying to put you off by these arguments, I respect your opinion, thats why the debate in the first place. Hope you dont mind.
1. It is not only danger to life alone it is the happiness of her son who will be separated from his wife which is of more concern to her. Her separation from her son if he plans to stay with his wife is another concern. Suraj's reply to Bhabasa would have convinced her that this kind of talk should be put down severely before it takes an ugly turn. I have already pointed out that talking or round table conferences are never held in traditional houses.Why would you think Bhabo would hold it.
2.Go back to the episode you will see her speaking to herself that her decision will benefit him in the long run. It is not a shock but a feeling in her that Suraj is unaware of the implications of the decision.
3.Her not controlling Mohit and Chavvi I have stated in my posts that she uses them to get even with Suraj.When ever there is a confrontation with Suraj they are her foot soldiers her ardent supporters. How than can you control your children whom you use.Your hold over them will weaken. I have consistently maintained Bhabo's methods are wrong and I hold that but she loves her son deeply and you will see that Suraj's pain alone will move her.
4.Her not blessing him on Hoi is a kind of punishment for his defiance. She is emphasising her point and making him conscious of the consequences of revolt.
5.When ever you view Bhabo your sense of right and wrong will not apply to her. That is the first premise you have to start with.She is illiterate and knows only crude ways to put across her point.She will shout, scream not bless Suraj, anything which will help her assert herself she will shamelessly use.That is an indisputable fact. I continue to maintain that if Suraj had used a different strategy Bhabo would have agreed with bhabasa prodding .Now also she will agree but will take time. Sorry Juna for using your thread for such lengthy discussions.
6.Her trying to keep her joint family intact with her hegemony by hook or crook also plays out.But to say she has no love for her son is being very unfair to her.
Edited by UMDU - 14 November 2012 at 3:57am