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Balika Vadhu
Balika Vadhu

Ansh FF -Terror is awakening (2nd chapter - pg 5) (Page 5)

AryaS IF-Dazzler
AryaS
AryaS

Joined: 21 March 2012
Posts: 3080

Posted: 30 November 2012 at 6:08am | IP Logged

Wow...Pratz..this is so engaging...suspense thriller!

 
Things I liked
 
The Don. Evil Smile
 
Don's right hand - Jagadish LOL
 
Mahi - the drug addict
 
Phooli - Anandi's friend
 
Anandi and Shiv...thats obvious Embarrassed
 
And last but not the least...the whole plot. Thumbs Up
 
 
Pratz - No wonder you are The Evil Don..Cool
btw, your update reminded me about the movie I saw yday night - Talaash! Aamir's latest movie! The whole plot is quite different and interesting...but it has its flaws. It is a one time must watch kinda movie...though its a different story that I couldn't enjoy it much bcoz I guessed the suspense before they revealed it. LOL
 


Edited by AryaS - 30 November 2012 at 6:08am

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Don_theEvil

tistaa IF-Sizzlerz
tistaa
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Joined: 14 June 2012
Posts: 10327

Posted: 30 November 2012 at 8:56am | IP Logged
Thanx Patu for updating it Big smile your story really breathtaking StarStarStarStar Ilove suspence thriller and this is truly thrilling ClapClapClap loved it very much and do update soon Smile

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Don_theEvil

Vishakha_Sakhi IF-Sizzlerz
Vishakha_Sakhi
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Joined: 09 August 2005
Posts: 19487

Posted: 30 November 2012 at 9:16am | IP Logged
Bahut mast stoy hai Donji! Clap Clap
Very thrilling! Loving it so far!

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Don_theEvil

MythicalMoth IF-Sizzlerz
MythicalMoth
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Joined: 22 November 2007
Posts: 23563

Posted: 03 December 2012 at 3:31am | IP Logged
Bohot gripping story hain yaar Clap Anandi's sis died and she wants to find out truth and avenge her murder toh was somewhat expected but Jaggu don and Mahi being Drug addict was such a googly LOL ekdum mast story hain.. plz jaldi update kar and PM me as soon as u'll update.. can't believe u posted this on 30th and I got to read it on 3rd Disapprove

Love ya for this Hug

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Don_theEvil

FairyAngel12 Senior Member
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Joined: 11 April 2012
Posts: 773

Posted: 09 December 2012 at 5:27am | IP Logged
awesome concept and plz add me in your pm list.

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Don_theEvil

Missesha IF-Dazzler
Missesha
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Joined: 10 March 2011
Posts: 4865

Posted: 09 December 2012 at 9:34pm | IP Logged
Nice plot... Waiting for more... But one request, please don't make Jagya khooni ...

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Don_theEvil

monamie111 IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 05 May 2011
Posts: 5084

Posted: 10 December 2012 at 9:30am | IP Logged
wow..awesome update prati..
i loved the concept Clap Clap

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Don_theEvil

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Joined: 24 October 2009
Posts: 31765

Posted: 16 December 2012 at 10:56pm | IP Logged

 Chapter - 2

Police are busy in rape case as this is most important now need to solve first. .. Suspect is still million away from them... however... the problem is that criminal is to master minded... the information call form shekhars' does help little.. MR. Shivraj Shekhar provides some valuable information about missing dead girl few days ago... it's does help little...

This will help them to find about killer... but killer is escaping for their clutches again and again... again he never left any evidence behind till date...  DNA Evidence the most important part in rape case to weaker point in this case too. DNA Evidence is found in material such a blood, saliva, sweet, urine, skin tissue and semen... its potentially found on victim body too including under the fingernails... he didn't left any biological material left... he very smart.. Vanish all evidence form spot...all the clothes are burn form body... other area is clean too... nail are neatly cut by him..And top of that... victim body always found after 72 hours after rape and death...so DNA test are useless in that case after 72 hours because DNA test should be within 72 hours. After the assault.   Even after death... he burns all the clothes so it's impossible to find out his DNA... After several hours of rape...it's impossible to find DNA... and he left no Profs Behind... what a master mind he is... but this time police find body after some hours... but this time to he play big... police this time  find samples,  but he  plant fake DNA samples.. They collect... 5-6 different samples for area... so there is no possibility... that DNA test will help them in that case... criminal is way too smart...

But what surprise them more then... till then they not heard about another murder... what was happening what he is planning this time... they are not sure..

Police quarter is buzzing with new news. ..That the current inspector will handover charge of case to some officer... they even not revealed name of officer... so much secrecy they maintain this time... but they are interested find out... who are appointed for this dead end case... Whoever is surly going to be paid for this...they already feel pity for officer...

 

Jagya enter in shekhar house as usual doing his hallagulla

"Hi choti ma... kaisei hai shiv kaha hai?"

"are jaggy aagye tume..." kaise ho?

Mai think hu ye bataiye shiv kaha ha

Wo kaha hoga office gaya hai... uska office aur wo... dono ek dusre se kabhi alag nahi ho sakte... bilkul work holic hai tumhara best friend

"wo to hai dost kiska hai...

And laugh loudly'

"kya baat hai... aaj tum achanak ghar par... aaj kuch kaam nahi hai tumhe... shiv ka dost aurr free ye kaise ho gaya..." "are wo jo tum apni match jite ho... uski party kaha hai... Mr. Chess player... congratulation.

& thank you choti ma... apne badhai to di... jeet ko... dekhna aapkya ladla shiv ghar par aayega na to usko to ye yaad bhi nahi hoga...congrats karna to dur ki baat" "wo to mai shiv se milne aaya tha... par bhul hi gaya... sahab itni jaldi kaise ghar aaskate hai... maine socha aaj ghar par hoga... par ye pir kaha furr hogaya.."

Jagya said with mocking tone...

Chotima laugh on his expression.

"kya bhai mere khilaf complain box kholkar baithe hai sab... Choti maa aap  bhi shamil ho gayi ismai:

Shiv enter pleasant smile' with his face.

Hey shiv kaha gaya tha'mai tera kab se intzaar kar raha hu

Kya kare'. aapki tarah... mai chess player nahi hu' ek simple sa business man hu... busy to rehta hi hau' tu bata... aaj koi match nahi hai tere

: kya yaarr tu kabhi Tv mai mere game ke bare mai information dekha kar, apne business ki jaise information hoti hai tuje... us tarah se apne dost par bhi dyan diya kar... ' are tournament jeet gaya mai, kuch din pehle hi kahtam ho gyae... tera dost win bhi hogaya... par tuje hi kahbar nahi hai... puri duniya ko khabar hai aur mera best friend hi bekhar hokar baitha hai.. bhadai dena to dur ki baat choti maa k tak yaad tha...  jagya chided him

Opps sorry yaar bhul gaya... by the way congrats winner sahab... chal mooh bata bana... cohoti maa iski koi fev dish bana do'

Choti ma smiles both of them...

Lado ab jitna ladna hai... waise bhi... shiv... tumhari mom ka phone aaya tha puch rahi thi'tumhare bare mai... kaha they inti der...

 

mai police station gaya tha... choti maa. Shiv said'

Kyu shiv... choti ma look puzzled yet worried for him

Jagya too look concern... immediately went to him

Are you ok shiv... tu police station... raste mai accident ho gaya kya... chot to nahi lagi tuje... are beta kitni baar kaha hai gadi tej mat chalana... par tum nahi sunte ho..

Jagya mimic same  tone like choti maa and then both jagya and shiv burst in feet of laughter 

Choti ma look at him anger and about to hit him... jagya run away to hide behind shiv...

"mera majak udata hai... mai to tum logo ki balayi ke liye hi kheti hu..."

Shiv bacha... muje... choti ma se'

Shiv laughed on his antics "oh to pange kyu leta hai' are mai police station isliye gaya tha... kyuki jo us ladki ka rape case ki news hai... jo..!5th victim hai ha rape aur murder ki.. us ladki se mai mila tha.. maine socha police ko inform kar du.. taki aage ki karvai jaldi ho paye.. hoskata hai.. us se kuch madat mile.. like wo jagah mil jaye jaha par rape huva tha.. kyuki us ladki ko to kai aur hi  feka gaya hai.. aise police ka mannan hai..

But tuje in sab mai padhne ki kya jarurat shiv.. agar police tere piche pad gayi tu.

Jagya to agree on this and replied

"tuje pata hai na is police ka chakkar.. ek baarr piche pad gaye to padh jate hai aur waise bhi.. tuje in same padhne ki kya jarurt"

shiv shrugged.. and said.. " bus bus.. Police se jyada investigation to choti ma aur tum karr rahe ho jagya.. ittni badi baat nahi hai.. batana jaruri tha police ka.. After all ye farj hai mera..kal hamarre ghar tak wo musibat pahuche kahi ham uske shikar hojaye is se phle. Hame apna kaam karna jaruri hai. Chalo choti maa khana do bhook lagi hai.. ye jagya to abhi tak bahot kuch kha chuka hoga.. chaliye is to bhook nahi lagti kamse kam mai hi kha lu..

jaga immediate reply " oye maine bhi nahi kahya.. tere vajha se ruka tha.. bhalyi ka jamana hi nahi raha.. choti ma muje bhi khana do.." both become busy eating food and then left too. Shiv to his office & jagya.. For his business again that he hide from everyone. His real status that his is don right hand..  choti ma to worried with her own thought related to mahi.. she dont know how to revealed this information to shiv..

Meanwhile other hand anadi and phoole goes to meet kaki.. in afternoon for lunch as well at the same time.

 

Kaki was pleasantly happy too find annadi and phooli to visit her.. she feel lonely form morning since she find out that her daughter is gone for some important work form her office.. she welcome both of them

After lunch in afternoon soon the chit chat start in between name..

Anandii asked kakki

"To kaki aapbi beti kahi najar nahi aarahi"

Are anandi jab subah mai jab gaav s e lauti tab se uska pata nahi tha. Fir uski chitti dekhi ki wo office ke kaam se kahi bahar ja rahi hai' inte dino mai..usne hmarri shop tak nahi kholi..

Wo kyu kaki.. phooli inquired

Kaki shrug her shoulder and replied.. kya kare. Ause shop mai kam karrna pasand nahi hai.. isliye to kavita.. inti interested nahi hai shop mai.. Anandi tum chahto to... Mere sath mere madat karogi'.

Anandi replied..: kyu nahi kaki ji.. jab tak muje koi job nahi mil jati tab tak mai aapki help jaurur kar saki ho

 

Phooli and anandi both are disappointed not to finding any information... but doesn't show on their face.. Anandi thought she need to help kaki wo its wee serve both of her purpose.. she can help her and able to find about culprit too.. when her daughter will be return..

To chalo kaki said with smile.. Ice crme  khavoge tumhe hamarre shop bi dikha du..

Anandi and phooli both smile on this and said

"jarur kaki"

 

She take them outside her house... there is little gala away form her house..

Three enter in ice-cream parlor

Anandi love the place very clean yet little small.. Kaki is happily showing them around

She was explaining them..

Suddenly she kaki gasped with surprised.. she said with irritation

Ye kya ka         r diya is ladki ne.. sara ice cream yaha par lakar fake diya hai..

Anandi & phooli to saw that'

 They saw some ice cream and other material in big bucket, water is flowing beside it'as ice cream is melted.. It look like that some one dump fresh material here.. by why this wastage.

They too surprise to see that..

Par aisa kiya kyu usne.. mera matlab hai.. ye sab bahar kyu feka hai.. kahi aise to nahi.. ki expiry ho chuki hogi islye fake diya..

"are nahi beta asia to bilkul nahi ho sakta.. ye to sab.. ek din pehle hi aaya hai.. to aise fakne ka kya matalb..aur inta bada nukasan hamara kavita kaise kar sakti hai kucch samj nahi aaraha.."

Phooli to look worried but unable to find any excuse..

Anandi to look concern yet thinking about something..

"kaki agar ye sab bahar hai.. to freezer mai kya rakah hoga.. aapke shop mai.. chaliye.. ye sab baharr kyu fekah hai uska javab bhi mil jayega.. agar fekha hai.. to kisi aur cheej ko rakhne ke liye hi fake hoga na.. kahi ais to nahi.. ki usne.. kuch aru acche naya product mangaye ho.. aapke ice cream parlour ke liye"

Ho sakta hai beti par itna nukasan.. wo nahi kar satki.. chalo.. freezer mai kya hai dekh lete hai

 

They move towards freezer. .anandi open freezer door.. And froze of the site in fort of her... She to stun to react... Phooli the first one to scream.. And kaki... Before anandi realize... She saw her faint on floor...

Anandi come back in sense but still shocked... She moves her eyes again to freezer and saw dead body of girl inside it...

Suddenly she notice the body face.. And suddenly realization drawn up to to her.. Why kaki faint in sudden shocked that she didn't even think for scream' the face is similar that she saw in kaki home.. a photo frame of her daughter picture... its kaki's  daughter kavita.. Who just found dead in her own shop... That to in her freezer...

Phooli was to stand there like statue... Anandi is normal and yet because she already saw her sister dead body... So its not make huge impact on her..

Sudden shiver run down to her spine.. She realized... He kills her too... Her chance is gone to find out about her sister murders or and about her boyfriend too... Who can be her murdered too? She feels like little dizzy'

 

And  here murder is  continue''

Police will get biggest jhatka now... police and world again will face terror in the form of new murder and dont know how many more  have to come form his...is he able to hide from police this time or win over them again..


 

(entry of officer.. who going to handled..New case & anandi shiv first meeting.. Day Dreaming)



Edited by DonIsback - 16 December 2012 at 11:11pm

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