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Ansh: "ye ishq nahi aasan" AT (54) (Page 65)

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by AnjanaYYZ

@Appy - maybe its pointless to try, but until we do...one should not assume the answer is NO.  Its a lesson, I am trying to learnErmm  

People make assumptions (erroneous ones) when someone says X is divorced.  They assume there is something deficient in the individual that they could not make their marriage work.  And saying someone is GOOD is not the same as explaining with facts why that someone is Good.  Its harder to argue/dispute facts then findings.  The Shekhars n Shiv here gave Sanchi their findings.  Yes.  She is a spoiltbrat...but, facts may have helped their cause:
- A was a Balika Vadhu.  She has completed education and topped;
- The reason her marriage ended was J cheated;
- What concrete things she accomplished in Jaitsar...adult education, girl's school, stoppage of bal vivah...
- Awarded by Chief Minister at her age;
- Selected and elected to be the Sarpanch;

Some of this Sanchi may know, but point by point... its hard to argue and counter.  Then bald assertions that She is my Choice and so u respect her.  Yes. For a well mannered individual the later would suffice, but the former would always be more convincing.
----

I say this as a sister... I ve 2 cousin-bhabhis that I ve yet to embrace from my heart.  Don't get me wrong...I don't disrespect them, but that's not who I am. But, they deffo don't have my love.  Largely because even now I don't consider them "worthy"!  BV made me see that might be because while I accepted their marriage to my cousin-bros...I did so begrudgingly and not open heartedly with reason.


Anji - She should be in a frame to listen for them to make her listen.The fact that she is not listening to what her parents got to say tells a lot about her.
She doesn't respect her parents and probably for her they are only providers whom she could put them on display for her friends.Even her brother is someone she can show off.

It's not like we all did not have arguments and disagreements with our parents but we do listen to them willingly or unwillingly to what they have got to say.We amy or may not agree but finally leave it to them.


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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:24pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by dixie123

@Anjie: Your points are awesome. But, didn't seem like she was concerned on knowing why Anandi is a divorcee. Why ? What happened ? She didn't ask. She only complained about what seemed like to me was a status issue for her. You know like, kaha mere Shiv bhaiyya and kaha yeh dehati gao ki ladki.

Dixie - there is a lawyer skill I learnt that politicians also use.  Its called "issue framing".  Shekhars' let Sanchi frame the issue here...as someone who is match for Sanchi...Ira went so far as to say Anandi satisfies her image of "bhabhi".  

They should have reframed the issue...Y A is a GREAT Catch especially for Shiv.  Not only what makes Anandi actually great as an individual (her accomplishments), but then Y she is right intellectual choice for Shiv:

1. She has principles and ideals that match Shiv's;
2. They have similar interests in samajik improvements;
3. She grasps the import of family as much as Shiv;

Also, reality checks...like where Shiv will be place during his career...there won't necessarily be "shopping malls" and the kind of "entertainment" that Sanchi's "sophisticated" suggestions would expect.  

CM explaining her own doubts and how they got addressed may have helped too.  

Some of this was said...but, the Shekhars n Shiv didn't connect the dots for her and she is too blind to do it herself.  


Edited by AnjanaYYZ - 16 November 2012 at 10:31pm

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
May be the problem lies in the way the character has been conceived.

It is just too OTT.

I didn't get it.Why was Ira so scared of her own daughter?Shouldn't it be her duty to see her daughter sense?It should have been Ira who should have done the shouting not Shiv.I feel the family has totally failed in her case.

It is not unusual for parents to be wary of their children's bad temper or reactions.My parents used to be wary of my temper but that didn't stop them from showing me my place when I crossed the line.

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:47pm | IP Logged

@Anie: Great points. But like Ginu said this talk should have happened before maybe after Bhai-Dooj instead of EBing her and trying to convince her. Today was just not the time.  It was like 'paani  sar se upar jaa chuka hai' kind of situation.


@Appy: Agree it is OTT. Which young kid in the family is given so much importance in deciding her bro's life partner ? True she didn't get to choose her choice of bhabhi but too bad, get over it and move on is the message I would have gotten if I were to act like NS.

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
@Appy - agree with you about the Shekhars failing her as parents... to say am mercurial is an understatement.  As a child and even now my parents can fault me rightly for my temper and tongue.  

I ve been Sanchi in terms of misbehaviour, so for me she is not that OTT.   Thought I knew it all when I knew naught.  But where I trangress, my dad always managed and still manages to reason with me especially after he's given me time to stew!  He leaves me room to make my own decisions, but gives me rationale to rethink too.  

P.S. - I wud ve ripped my cousin -bro... at least the one I was close 2 to shreds when he decided on his marriage had I been present in the countryLOL  He shud be eternally grateful to God, I was in another continent ROFLROFLROFL  It was 2 late to do so by the time I learnt.  But, as much as I EBed his parents into accepting his marriage over the years, I would have given him an earful n more at the time.  


Edited by AnjanaYYZ - 16 November 2012 at 10:57pm

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:54pm | IP Logged
Yesterday, while watching NS, I was reminded so much of my 5-yr-old throwing tantrums... I WANT!!! If you don't do this, I WILL DO that! Are my tears working? Should I lay down on the ground and roll?? etc, etc...

My 5-yr-old is now a mature 9... and way above such behaviorROFL


Edited by VerboseG - 16 November 2012 at 10:55pm

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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 10:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by AnjanaYYZ

@Appy - agree with you about the Shekhars failing her as parents... to say am mercurial is an understatement.  As a child and even now my parents cannot fault me rightly for my temper and tongue.  

I ve been Sanchi in terms of misbehaviour, so for me she is not that OTT.   Thought I knew it all when I knew naught.  But where I trangress, my dad always managed and still manages to reason with me especially after he's given me time to stew!  He leaves me room to make my own decisions, but gives me rationale to rethink too.  

Exactly when she is not in a mood to listen you make her listen to what you got to say.And then tell her to go and think about it.

That's what my parents did with me -.It used to work because you after the scolding and are made to sit in a corner on your own or outside the house and you have only yourself to talk to so you end up talking sense to yourselfLOL


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Posted: 16 November 2012 at 11:00pm | IP Logged

Anjy,apy and nivi - Beautiful expalinations...agree with almost all points.

And on a personal level,I really feel that Kanchi cant be convinced on this with just words.Dadu even tried to explain her abt the fact that there can be many daughters who love their parents but very few who love their in-laws inspite of such a betrayal.Even that point didnt make any sense to her.And if that didnt work I doubt any other explainations/points wud hv worked.So Sanchi needs to herself see A's capability and goodness to beleive it.

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