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Diya Aur Baati Hum
Diya Aur Baati Hum

Hypocrisy

UMDU IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 31 August 2012
Posts: 3170

Posted: 10 November 2012 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
Hypocrisy can be easily defined as promoting virtues or beliefs or principles which one doesn't actually have and is also guilty of violating.  At the end of the day we are all hypocrites, the degree may vary but we all are guilty of it in some way or another. Whether we talk about individuals or countries it  exists all over the world. Do not take offense, it is just an attempt at self introspection. Some classic examples.
1. Our Indian newspapers have pages and pages of  matrimonial ads asking for a tall, fair and beautiful girl. The ads have universally one thing in common. Everybody wants a fair wife. They may give lectures against apartheid or racism but when it comes to their own family the bahu has to be fair. A girl who can make them proud in their social circles and ensure the future generations in the family are good looking.
2.We may talk against corruption but will not hesitate to bribe the traffic police man if we are caught breaking the red light. Similarly being impatient by nature breaking the Qs to get work done by paying the clerk is a common scene in India.
3.We may keep our houses clean but will not hesitate to throw a chocolate wrapper in the street 
and complain about our cities being unclean
4.We may hire small boys to clean our cars which is a common sight in India but talk against child labour.
5. There are innumerable sex determination clinics in India mostly in cities . The poor cannot afford them. So obviously the rich and educated are using them as they have not closed down . Outside, people advocate gender equality.
6.We in India do not believe in giving our children the right to choose what they want to do in future a point brought out in three idiots  movie very well. Many students are compelled to take up science in 11th as their parents would like them to be engineers or doctors.
7. Many spiritual gurus advocate simple living and high thinking but themselves travel in business class and Mercedes cars.
8. We are taught that God created everyone  equal but paying money to see God through special darshan is a common sight in many famous temples.
9.People talk against dowry in social circles but most marriages in India have the girls side bearing the marriage expenditure and the justification given is we just asked them to give us a decent marriage.We are strictly against dowry and have not taken a penny from the girls side. It however does not matter that  the marriage expenditure has broken the back of the girl's father.
10.. Our politicians talk about reservations  of seats in  medical colleges for backward classes lowering  the standards of entry into the profession  which involves the life and death of a person , but get their medical  treatment done in the US or Europe.
11. US talks about  promoting self determination all over the world, but when their southern states wanted to secede on the issue of slavery during the civil war they fought to keep their country one. They only promote democracies in those countries which are hostile to them. Countries with dictatorships which are pro US are left alone.
12.The so called developed world are ok with their carbon di oxide emissions but want India and China to reduce, countries which  have just emerged from a colonial past and are relatively new to the path of economic development ..
           I know what you must be thinking. What is she getting at? Is it another Bhabo defense thread ? Well all I can say is Bhabo's methods of controlling her family may be wrong and she may take extreme measures to prove her point which may  make our blood boil but her intentions are not  evil. She is extremely possessive about her son and cannot let go and it is a malaise which afflicts half the mother in laws in India. Bhabo is only one among many.. What hypocrisy  we accuse her of being we all are to some extent guilty of it. Why are we blind to the hypocrisy we practise and are even apologetic but are quick to point out when others do it.  I would like to end with Kabirji's doha
      Bura jo dekhan main chala
       Bura na milya koi
        Jo munn khoja apnaa
      To mujhse bura na koi.
( I searched for a crooked man but found none and than I searched myself and I found the crooked one.)
   Let me apologise before hand for any offense caused. It is just a point of view and an attempt at self introspection. On a lighter note Bhabo ke bina story main tadaka hi kya. She is the spice of the story. No Indian serial or movie is considered complete without drama and DABH is no different.. Woh serial hi kya jo 5 saal na chale ,woh serial hi kya jisme saas bahu ki khipit na ho aur woh serial hi kya jisme aasu na aaye is the golden rule in the telly world.  When Sandhya struggles to reach the top with Bhabo trying her best to pull her down , than success to her will taste sweeter. Big smile





Edited by UMDU - 10 November 2012 at 3:48pm

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farhana874 IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
It's the bitter truth Aunty.
When it comes to 'me' 'mine' myself'...Most of us start to find out excuses to turn our wrong into right...We come up with the most strange weird reasoning that would make us feel better...that would console 'no, what I did is right'!
These lame excuses don't last forever ,after a day or two or months or years we start regretting...though we know from the beginning that what we did is wasn't right...But to admit 'I am wrong' we take so long!

Bhabo is in the first stage...It will take her time to realize what's right/wrong...Let's see how long she takes...


( Now my confusion... the opposite thought...)
May be that was the right thing to do at that moment!?...I learned from a friend that ' There's nothing 'wrong' in this world..It's all relative...A killer kills coz he thinks that's the right thing to do...A thief steals coz he couldn't think of anything else...
This way of thinking helps me a lot to understand others...The people I used to dislike, I don't anymore...Yes I don't like or support what they do, but not the person.


I don't know what am blabbering...Sorry if it doesn't make any sense!Embarrassed
I myself am confused!Embarrassed


Edited by farhana874 - 10 November 2012 at 3:10pm

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SriB IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
I always look forward to your post UMDUji because they are different and thought provoking.  Hum bas in cheezon ko nazar andaaz kar detein hain jab apni baat aati hai aur jab doosarein Karthein hain toh gussa aata hai.

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Brahmaputra IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
you have trully written the exact thing here. Right thing at right place with right voice. Everyone has own views and they are sticking to that. let me ask how many of those who accuse Bhabho are ready to see whether she has got something to justify herself? How many are ready to see the other side?.

None of us are living her life or experiencing her feelings. Neither do we are ready to change our views about her. So what right we have to ask her to change her views? We can understand Sandhya because most of us have lived or now living her life. We are educated. We can say Bhabho is doing wrong. Its our view. Similarly she also has own views.

We can expect Sooraj to find all truths one day. We all know finally Sandhya will succeed in grabbing her dream. So now I feel its better to simply sit and watch show. Though Bhabho is doing wrong, its leafing to a big right. What is wrong in defensing her? She has own set of rights and wrongs. We know she will rectify her mistakes. So wait her to do that. Nothing will happen by the time a dawn breaks. I'm sure thing would have been different if Bhabho were educated. We wont be watching DABH..

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Brahmaputra IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 6:12pm | IP Logged
farhi you have told my dimaag ki baat...well said.

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UMDU IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by farhana874

It's the bitter truth Aunty.
When it comes to 'me' 'mine' myself'...Most of us start to find out excuses to turn our wrong into right...We come up with the most strange weird reasoning that would make us feel better...that would console 'no, what I did is right'!
These lame excuses don't last forever ,after a day or two or months or years we start regretting...though we know from the beginning that what we did is wasn't right...But to admit 'I am wrong' we take so long!

Bhabo is in the first stage...It will take her time to realize what's right/wrong...Let's see how long she takes...


( Now my confusion... the opposite thought...)
May be that was the right thing to do at that moment!?...I learned from a friend that ' There's nothing 'wrong' in this world..It's all relative...A killer kills coz he thinks that's the right thing to do...A thief steals coz he couldn't think of anything else...
This way of thinking helps me a lot to understand others...The people I used to dislike, I don't anymore...Yes I don't like or support what they do, but not the person.


I don't know what am blabbering...Sorry if it doesn't make any sense!Embarrassed
I myself am confused!Embarrassed
Thank you beta for your inputs. Yes I agree with time Bhabo will have to loosen her grip on her son and it will be exciting for us to watch.  I had once gone to a religious discourse and I asked the speaker if a mother sees her children starving to death is her dharma as a mother to steal and feed them or she should not steal as it is taking away somebody else's right to possess. The speaker said she should not steal but wait for God to save the child like Harish chandra. I disagreed with him as as a mother I would definitely steal if my children go hungry. So there are many questions like this which are relative and unanswered.

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by SriB

I always look forward to your post UMDUji because they are different and thought provoking.  Hum bas in cheezon ko nazar andaaz kar detein hain jab apni baat aati hai aur jab doosarein Karthein hain toh gussa aata hai.
Thank you SriB for your kind words. I agree with you that at the end of the day we are all hypocrites but find it difficult to admit it.

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:36pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by June_Anne_Mary

you have trully written the exact thing here. Right thing at right place with right voice. Everyone has own views and they are sticking to that. let me ask how many of those who accuse Bhabho are ready to see whether she has got something to justify herself? How many are ready to see the other side?.

None of us are living her life or experiencing her feelings. Neither do we are ready to change our views about her. So what right we have to ask her to change her views? We can understand Sandhya because most of us have lived or now living her life. We are educated. We can say Bhabho is doing wrong. Its our view. Similarly she also has own views.

We can expect Sooraj to find all truths one day. We all know finally Sandhya will succeed in grabbing her dream. So now I feel its better to simply sit and watch show. Though Bhabho is doing wrong, its leafing to a big right. What is wrong in defensing her? She has own set of rights and wrongs. We know she will rectify her mistakes. So wait her to do that. Nothing will happen by the time a dawn breaks. I'm sure thing would have been different if Bhabho were educated. We wont be watching DABH..
Bhabo will realise she is wrong .Give her time it will be seen happening. We all make mistakes and with time repent for what we have done. She will also be seen doing that .Patience is the key. Here I am being hypocritical by impatiently waiting for SurYa moments.

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