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Hope you all had a great and safe Deepavali. I am waiting for tonights episode (14th Nov). My wedding anniversary and also the great KC episode on BALH! What better gift to get? Friends so sorry for the delay in my update.
Priya is a bit confused at this point. She promised Pihu that she would sleep next to her, but there doesn't seem to be any place for her. There are two snorers and one traveler (Kush moves a lot in his sleep)! She doesn't want to disturb Mr Kapoor because she is very contented having him in her home with her family! She gets a mattress from the living room and puts it in the corner of her room, makes the bed and slowly moves Pihu on to the mattress and settles down by her side. Pihu holds on to her and continues to sleep. Priya puts her arm over her head and is deep in thought. What does tomorrow have in store for her? Is Pihu going to be with her forever or is Ram going to take her back tomorrow? As she is thinking about Pihu, she automatically pulls her closer and hugs her. She notices how much Kush craves for affection and feels bad that Ayesha is not being that doting mother. She needs to spend quality time with her son. Priya is enjoying Kush's company though. Ram, Pihu, Kush and she seem a happy and complete family. Wait a minute! How can I even think on those lines? Ram is now married to another woman – and that woman happens to be my little sister. How is that even possible for our happy family to even be remotely happening. She sighs and slowly cannot help smiling. The stereophonic snoring in the room makes it so conducive and she has this contented look on her face while she slowly falls asleep.
The next morning, Neha is in the kitchen. She looks towards Priyas room and smiles. Wonder how her night was! She doesn't know that Ram stayed over. All she knows was that there were no fireworks and she was sincerely hoping that Raya got to sit down and talk through their differences.
Priya opens her eyes and looks around her. Pihu is still holding on to her. Slowly she remembers what happened last night. She smiles and looks at the bed as she sits up on her mattress. She sees Ram and Kush are still asleep. Ah! Such an angel face when he is asleep. Please God, hope this is the dawn of a bright and happy new day. She has a wash and tip-toes out of her room so that she doesn't wake up anyone.
Priya: Good morning Neha! So sorry about last night. Was so happy to see Pihu that I got carried away.
Neha: Good morning Priya. How are you this morning? Did Fatty leave with Pihu or did he leave her here with you? What was last nights visit all about?
Priya: Don't know Neha. Ram said we need to talk so am hoping things will get better. Keeping my fingers crossed Neha. He was reading a story to Pihu and Kush and fell asleep. I didn't have the courage to wake him up as I did not want the raging bull to emerge. For a bit, it felt like old times Neha. Ram eating my aloo parathas after such a long time seemed to have remembered what they were like five years ago. Priya gets emotional as she remembers last night and then wipes her tears.
Neha: Oh wow! So whole family slept together last night Huh! (big grin on her face and she winks at Priya). I guess I know what we are going to have for breakfast this morning – more of Priyas world famous aloo parathas with butter. Oooh! I like that!
Priya: Stop it Neha. I don't know what is in store for me today. Just pray that everything gets sorted out. Don't know what he has decided about Pihu. I understand that he has to spend time with Pihu, but I just can't bear not seeing her anymore. I am willing to let him spend quality time with her, but at the end of the day I would love for my daughter to come back home to me. It felt so nice having my family together last night.
The doorbell rings. Priya opens the door and Rajat is on the other side.
Rajat: Good morning Mrs Kapoor. How are you today?
Priya: Hi Rajat sir. I'm fine thank you. Please come in. Please sit down. Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Rajat: I wouldn't mind a cup Mrs Kapoor. I have something important to discuss with you. Do you have a few minutes?
Priya: Sure sir. Neha, can you please make a cup of coffee for Rajat sir?
Neha: Haan Priya! Will definitely make him one of my specials.
Rajat: Mrs Kapoor, I have something for you. I know you will not accept it, but this is a business proposition so please take a look and give it a thought before you say no. This will make you economically independent and you will be able to take care of Pihu. No one can separate her from you.
Priya: I don't think I will need this sir. I do not want to fight any custody battle with Ram. I told him that he could take Pihu and I did not wish Pihu to go through the trauma of the whole courtroom drama. She is too small and doesn't deserve it. In fact I had sent Pihu to KM yesterday. I told Mr Kapoor the same and he was willing to settle as long as he had his way. As far as being economically independent, I can look for a job and that will take care of our needs now. I really appreciate all the help and support from you.
Just then she hears Pihu scream loudly. She runs to the bed room and Pihu is sitting on the mattress and crying.
Pihu: Mamma, why did you leave me and go? You promised to be with me all the time. She holds on to Priya tightly and Priya also wraps her arms around her.
Priya: Bacha, I was in the kitchen getting ready for making breakfast. I did not leave you and go anywhere. You are in our home and I am with you. Don't be scared my princess! Since you and your papa are here, I was getting everything ready for some garma garam aloo parathas with homemade butter for breakfast. Do you like the idea?
Pihu looks at Priya and smiles. She buries her face in Priyas lap and shuts her eyes as if she is going back to sleep.
Hearing all this noise Ram also wakes up and looks around. He remembers last night and realizes he went to sleep in Priyas place. He sees Kush next to him on the bed and ruffles his hair before he gets off the bed and comes to the mattress where Priya and Pihu are. He sits on the corner of the mattress and ruffles Pihus hair.
Ram: Good morning Rockstar! Mamma will never leave you. I promise.
Priya: Good morning Mr Kapoor. Can I get you some coffee? I will have it ready by the time you freshen up. I have a new toothbrush and a fresh towel in the bathroom. Oh o! I forgot, Rajat sir is in the living room. Please excuse me.
Priya carries Pihu onto the bed and pats her: Pihu, you can go back to sleep if you want. Mamma will be in the kitchen. I will not leave you alone. She kisses her on her forehead, bends forward and caresses Kush and then leaves the room. Ram watches as she is doing this with the kids and gives a shy smile. Looks at his watch and heads to the bathroom.
Priya comes out into the living room and sees Rajat there: I am so sorry sir. I didn't mean to ignore you. Pihu has been feeling a bit nervous and wants me by her side all the time. She is trying to settle in and is getting used to having so many people around her. She is not used to it.
Ram comes out into the living room and Rajat is a bit taken a back, happy nonetheless.
Ram: Oh Hi Stranger. Been a long time. I thought you would have gone back to Dubai by now. Don't you have a business to run there?
Rajat: Hi Ram. Yes, my business is suffering. If not for the custody case you are fighting, I would have gone back to Dubai a long time ago. But I don't want to leave Mrs Ka… Priya alone. She needs someones support you see. If you don't want to, then I have to.
Ram: Ah! Its good to know that Priya has someone on her side. Guess she needs a shoulder to cry on too. That must be why she didn't tell you about the latest position on the case.
Rajat: Ah! She just told me and I am very happy that there will be no custody battle. Mrs Kapoor, please take a look at the papers and do tell me what you think. I will wait for your response.
Ram looks questioningly at Rajat and Priya. What is Rajat talking about? What papers does he want Priya to take a look at? He scratches his forehead and begins to puff up his chest like he always does when he gets angry.
Ram: Priya, I need to go too. Have an important meeting later in the morning, so have to go to KM and get ready. I will send the driver to pick up Kush later. So please call and tell ma when he has woken up and is ready to be picked up.
Priya looks very disappointed: Mr Kapoor, please have a cup of coffee. I will make it in a minute. Please stay and have breakfast and then leave. I am making some more aloo parathas for breakfast.
Neha is standing and watching all this from the kitchen. She has a frown on her face and is wondering what is happening. Priya gave her the impression that all was fine last night. What happened now? Did Rajat mess things up for them? Why is Fatty behaving like this in the morning. Oh God! These men, so difficult to understand them.
Ram in an angry voice: I don't have all day to hang around here. You know there are a lot of people who depend on me and I have a business to run. Anyway what was Rajat talking about? What papers is he referring to?
Priya: oh no! that's nothing Mr Kapoor. I told him that I was not going to fight any custody battle and that there was no case to worry about. He had a business proposition for me in Mumbai. He gave me some papers and asked me to read them and give him my opinion.
Ram: Oh so are you planning to run a business here? So, you are going to be an entrepreneur! Arre wah! Will you have time for Pihu then?
Priya is shocked at Rams mood swings: Nothing has been decided as yet Mr Kapoor. Anyway, I have to take up a job to support myself and Pihu, so whats wrong in taking a look at the papers that Rajat sir dropped off.
Ram just picks up his phone and calls his driver: Please start the car I will come down now. What! You are still at your home? Its almost 8 in the morning. Don't you know you should be here by now? Ok, you come straight to KM, you can take the keys to the car and get it ready for me. He looks at Priya: tell the children I had to leave as I have an important meeting in the morning. I will talk to Pihu later. Bye
Before Priya could say anything, he just walked out of the door. Priya stood open-mouthed, staring at the door. What just happened? What happened to my Ram who came here last night? Who is this gentleman that just walked out of that door? Now what? Is Pihu here to stay with me, or is she going back to KM to live with her father? So many questions and the one person who had all the answers just walked out of that door.
Mr Kapoor is angry. He drives straight home and walks in. Dadi and Krishuji are in the living room.
KK: Good morning beta. How are you? Where are the children?
Ram: Good morning ma. Good morning Dadi. The kids are still sleeping. Priya will send Kush back as soon as he wakes up. I am going to be in my room and don't want to be disturbed ma. I will inform Jenny to cancel all my appointments for the day.
KK: Beta, you seem to be very agitated. Whats troubling you? What happened last night?
Ram: Ma, I am fine. Nothing happened last night.
He starts to climb up the stairs to his room. Ayesha comes hurriedly into the living room.
Ayesha: Ram, where is Kush? I was worried for him last night. He didn't go to Sharma house. Where is he now. I really don't want him to stay with Priya. She will be a bad influence on him.
Ram: Ayesha, I don't think you know your son at all. He is very happy with Priya and loves it there. He is asleep now and will come here once he wakes up. Talking about bad influence – I think you are a very bad influence on him. He is always so scared when he is around you. He was so happy and chatting with Priya. Anyway I don't have the time for you and your drama.
He goes into his room and locks the door. He goes to his big chair and sits down. He has a frown on his face and is thinking. FB of last evening at Priyas place comes to his mind. He is breathing deeply and slowly the frown eases out on his forehead and his breathing also becomes normal. Why am I getting so worked up and angry when I see Rajat with Priya. I know there is nothing going on between them. Gosh! What a mess! And I have Priya to thank for all this. He notices the 2 journals by his side and picks up one. Choti wanted me to read these. She said I would understand Priya better. What did she mean by that? I know Priya used to maintain a journal when she was here, so I guess she continued to write after she went to Dubai. He picks up the journal marked "1" and opens it.
Day 1, 2007
Today, I start my new journal after more than 2 months. So much has happened in my life in the past few months – so much has happened and left nothing but sorrow in our lives. After the accident I was lying unconscious for over a month. Poor Raina, she must have been terrified being alone. Thank God for the nurses at the hospital who took good care of her till I got better. I went home to KM thinking they would be happy to see me and I could get Raina home to Dubai safely. I was shocked to see that everyone had given me up for dead. I think Ishika made sense. In a way, I think it is better for Ram – my Ram to think I am dead and he can move on. If I went back to him, I would have to go back to jail. I don't mind spending the next 14 years in jail. But I cannot bear to see Ram suffer. He was already feeling so guilty that he could not get be out of jail and if I had to see him suffer the guilt and pain seeing me in jail, I would rather him think I am dead than see him die a hundred times each day. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. At this time I think this is the right thing to do and hope this decision is not wrong. Raina needed to be brought back to her home. Her mother gave me a number in Dubai and through them, here I am in Dubai. Mr Rajat was kind enough to arrange a place for me to stay and give me a job so I could pay my bills and live on my own.
Ram, my everyday begins with you and as I retire to go to bed, you are the last person I talk to. You are in my thoughts and prayers at all times. I see you when I close my eyes, I see you around me in my minds eye. I don't think I can EVER forget you, even though physically we are miles and miles aways from each other. You will always be close to me in my heard and I can talk to you through my journal whenever I want. Please be strong and move on in life. I am sooo sorry I have to do this to you. But, Ram, I cannot bear to see your pain for the next 14 years. I know you will miss me but I hope you will slowly forget me and find someone to fill your heart with love once again. This journal is all about my feelings and thoughts as my days go by in this foreign country. Most of my thoughts and feelings will be around you. One day if you do get to see this writing of mine, I hope you will understand why I took this decision and forgive me for going away from you. I don't know what life has in store for me, but I do know the fond memories with you all these days, will be with me till my very end. I asked Neha to leave notes for you around your room for you to read. This is just till you get used to where everything is in the room. I will be thinking of you every waking moment of my life.
Thank you so much for giving me such wonderful memories. I would have loved to grow old with you, but if that is going to cause you sorrow and pain, I cannot bear to be the cause of that pain and sorrow. You are the worlds best husband, best, son, best brother. Please take care of your health. I will worry about you always, because I love you and that will NEVER change. I may not always do the right thing, but I will always love you – no matter what Ram.
Back to the present:
Ram has tears in his eyes. She had done this for me? How did she think I was going to live? Did she really believe that I would move on? How could she? Priya, Priya, Priya! I was lost without you Priya. How could I ever forget you? We were meant to be together for the rest of our lives. Remember the incident before our marriage in the restaurant? Didn't you think that being together was our destiny? Why did you do this to me Priya? You took a part of me with you.
Day 15, 2007
Ram, dear Ram, where are you? I really need to talk to you. I was sick the past few days and went to see the doctor. Do you know what she said? I am pregnant! Ram, I am pregnant with our child – can you believe this. I really want to share this wonderful news with you and only with you. I have been trying to call you all day today. I have to talk to you and give you the good news and then we can decide what is to be done. I cannot go through this alone Ram. This is the fruit of our love, a dream we dreamed together – I cannot go through with this pregnancy without you. You have to see our baby, our love child every single day from now on. Where have you been my dear? I cannot get a hold of you. I tried reaching Neha and Vikram too. No one seems to be around. I called home and one of the maids said you had gone out with your friends. I have been trying your mobile for a long time, please, please answer the phone. I need to talk to you. Very desparate to hear your voice; to hear the excitement in your voice. I now how happy you are going to be when you hear the good news. Ram, you have given me a new lease in life – a reason to live. But I cannot take this journey without you. I love you Ram. I miss you. I want you by my side now.
Day 16, 2007
Dear Ram, who is this lady you were talking to? Have you really moved on so soon? You were admiring this ladys earrings and talking to someone. I have not given up trying to speak to you and give you the good news. If you have really moved on, then good for you, but I have to find a way to give you this good news. Ram I am pregnant with our child. If I cannot talk to you in person, the rest of my journal writing will revolve around me talking to you about our child. Someday in the future, if and when you get a hold of my journals I hope you feel that you have been a part of our childs life through my writing. I will try my best to capture every moment from now onwards. Please forgive me for going away from you Ram. Now I think I know why I was destined to go away from you. Imagine, just imagine Ram, if I was in jail and found to be pregnant, our child would have been born in jail. I know you would have taken full care of our child in my absence. But, I cannot imagine the pain you and our child will have to go through when people around him or her taunt and say that their mother is in jail and she or he is the daughter of a criminal. Do you think we can go through this pain, do you think our child will be able to bear this humiliation for the rest of his or her life? Is it right for us to put our child through this trauma for no fault of theirs? Maybe this was the reason that destiny separated me from my Ram. Ram I love you and our child also loves you very much. You will continue to be a very important part of our lives. Take care Ram. I love you more and more each day.
Back to the present:
Rams vision is blurred with the tears. They just seem to flow out of his eyes without stopping. Oh no Priya! All you could do was think about me and worry about my sorrow or pain. How can you be so selfless? He feels ashamed of himself. He talks to himself: I am only causing her more pain. I have to do something about this. I cannot put her through this any more. I am sorry Priya. How could I have been so heartless and not given her a chance to talk.
He remembers last night and the tears continue to flow uncontrollably. He remembers how she was crying seeing his tears. How happy she was to see all of us together. Priya, I know it was destiny that has brought us together again and this time I think we are meant to be together for the rest of our lives. He gets up from his chair, wipes his tears and puts the journal down. He goes in for a shower. Soon, he comes out of the dressing all dressed and ready to go out.
Ram to himself: I need to sort out some issues before I go to Priya. I have to talk to Ayesha and figure out what to do with her. I told her that she is Mrs Ram Kapoor, but now I will need an alternate plan. Let me think about a plan. I will go to work and talk to my lawyer first. He leaves the room humming his favorite song – bade ache lagte hain, yeh dharti, yeh nadiyan, yeh raina aur…!
As he is coming to his mothers room, he overhears her talking to Dadi.
KK: Biji, tomorrow is KC and I was thinking we have to give sargi to Priya. I know Ayesha never kept the fast for Ram and now that Priya is back, I know she will keep the fast for Ram. Do you think she kept the fast for him all these years? Knowing Priya, I am sure she did, but, this time I am very keen on giving her the sargi personally.
Dadi: Krishna, that is a very good idea. I am also thinking we should both go to her place with the sargi and talk to her about keeping fast.
Ram couldn't be happier. He does a small jig outside the room and then calms himself down and goes inside. He tells his mother and Dadi that he is going to office on some work and might be back late.
Ok friends I will close now. More in my next update. Hope you liked this update. Today is our wedding anniversary and what better gift BALH has in store for us. Both my husband and I love watching the show together, so tonight I have made arrangements to record the episode on tv so we can watch it together after we are back from our son and daughter in laws place. So I will probably update tomorrow. Do let me know your comments
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