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Joined: 11 January 2009
into her reflection the kohl-filled eyes staring back, the smile fixed on her
red-stained lips but her eyes harboring the same pain and the hollowness she
had felt in her chest during the course of the entire last week.
Since Arnav had found her with the DNA reports, things had
started taking a turn for the downhill.
She had thrown away the reports to pacify him, hoping that
he would forgive her childish mistake, laugh at her crazy antics as he always
did, but Khushi still felt the shiver run down her spine as she saw the
coldness and hatred emanating off his caramel-orbs as he had stared at her with
such pain and anguish that Khushi had almost stumbled back, the smile falling off
her face as she had stared back at him, her heart beating faster – but this
time due to the cold fear that had slowly swept through her as the sinking
realization that she had committed a grave mistake, dawned on her.
He had questioned her, asked her why she never took the
courage to share her worries, and Khushi's own anger had tried placing the
blame on him by stating that she was not as liberal in these matters as him,
and for him sleeping around with women was fine, but for her it wasn't.
She closed her eyes as she remembered the pain that had
registered in his eyes and he had grabbed her by the shoulders firmly, bringing
her closer. He had told her that he could never hurt her, he had told her that
after everything they had been through, she could have trusted him with
anything, and by doing a DNA test without his consent or knowledge had hurt him
far worse than any of her accusations ever would have.
Khushi had realized her small mistake, and she had felt a
deep helplessness settle in her stomach as she had tried to grab at his
shoulders to pull him closer as he took a step away. She had tried to explain,
but he had pushed away her arms, and turned away, closing his eyes painfully,
the muscle jumping in his cheek in agitation, before he had walked away from
there as Khushi stared after his retreating back, a slow trail of tears making
their way down her cheeks.
Khushi opened her eyes and stared at her reflection, a hand
running through her hair, and smoothing out the sari again. The emptiness and
agitation she had felt in her stomach had not decreased over the course of the
week. Khushi leaned over to run the kajal pencil over her lower lid, again
emphasizing her eyes some more, as her mind still kept mulling over that day.
She had tried time and time again to make it up to him, but
he had brushed away her efforts, the indifference replacing the anger, and it
was this coldness from him that had pinched Khushi's heart far worse than his
anger ever had.
She was used to his words. She was used to him pushing her
against the wall to trap her and make her listen, however she was not used to
his silence. She was not used to the stony-cold look in his eyes every time
they met hers, she was not used to the flash of pain that briefly swept past
his eyes every time he looked at her – and she was not used to being the reason
for all of this.
She sighed, and straightened out her gold and red sari, the
fingers brushing over the works on the pleats, making sure they were tucked
into her waist safely, that her red-painted toes just about peeked through the
sari as she stepped about, and that the pallu was modestly covering her chest
and her waist.
She leaned over to touch the red stain against her lips, to
make sure the colour was perfect and did not fade away, before she grabbed a
brush and lightly let it brush away the tangles in her hair, knowing that this
was the twentieth time she had done that.
She looked in the mirror again, knowing that red was his
favorite colour, knowing that seeing her in this bright colour often ebbed away
whatever frustration he felt – and she hoped that tonight, on the night of
Diwali, they could have another new beginning and that he would forgive her.
Khushi crouched down next to the diyas, flicking her hair
over her shoulder, making sure it did not come in contact with the matchstick
that she hovered over the oil-soaked cotton. Watching the diya illuminate, the
fire crackling as it caught onto the cotton, she turned to light another one, a
small smile spreading across her face, feeling the small and slow warmth of the
fire spread across her face. Her smile widened as she burnt another matchstick
and lighted another diya, slowly bringing it to another one near her, before
she got up, and looked around to see all the diyas in a circular motion around
her lighted and casting a pretty reflection across the entire entrance of the
Just as she was about to step over a diya, a cry halted her
in her tracks and she looked up in surprise to see Anjali in front of her, her
eyes wide in terror as she stared at Khushi.
careful!" She exclaimed, before quickly limping to her, her hand outstretched
for help, "There are burning lamps all around you, and here you are casually
stepping over them in a sari!"
Just as Anjali finished reprimanding her, before helping her
over the diyas, another two pair of footsteps came from the back, causing
Khushi's back to stiffen as her skin prickled with goosebumps as she recognized
the steps and the scent from the man presently a few feet behind her.
"Here you are chote"
Anjali said, before walking towards her brother, and looking up at him with a
smile on her face, "Khushiji almost gave
me a heart attack just then!"
Arnav's eyes flickered over to her, briefly sweeping over
her outfit, before he looked away without a flicker of emotion on his face.
Khushi felt her breath hitch as her throat turned heavy from the lack of
response and her effort gone to a waste.
Not bothering to hear Arnav's reply, Khushi turned on her
heel and walked out of the house, to the garden outside where everyone was
gathered to celebrate Diwali.
Khushi let out a small laugh as she saw Aarav glaring at the
firecrackers, not participating with the other kids who had come from the
neighbourhood to play Diwali together.
"Khushi, you love burning firecrackers!" Payal commented,
her face alight with a wide smile as she leaned back into Akaash who had his
arms across her waist, "Why don't you join the kids like you do every year?"
Khushi felt the smile dip from her face as her eyes
immediately moved to Arnav who was standing next to Nani, in a deep
conversation with her.
Arnav's eyes lifted from Nani and connected with hers, holding
her gaze for a few moments, before looking back at Nani and continuing his
"I don't feel like it Jiji"
Khushi muttered, relieved when Payal did not implore any further.
"Didi!" A kid said
tugging at her sari, causing Khushi to crouch down to his level, "I can't find
"They should be next to where all the other firecrackers
are" Khushi frowned as she got up, took the hand of the kid and started walking
towards where the other firecrackers were, carefully dodging every other odd chakri and anarkali that came in her way.
Peering down into the big box of firecrackers, Khushi moved
around a few, digging her hand in, trying to find a box of more firecrackers to
give the kids.
Khushi looked over her shoulder to see Aarav standing there,
his hands in his pockets as he stared at Khushi poking her head into a box
trying to find some firecrackers.
"Found it!" Khushi exclaimed as she wrapped her hand around
a box of the phoooljharris, only to
see the kid that had asked for them had left, after borrowing a few from his
She was about to place the firecrackers back, when she
looked at Aarav and smiled, holding them out for him to take one.
"I don't play with toys" He muttered , looking away, his
eyes occasionally flicking over to the kids having fun.
Khushi rolled her eyes and shook her head in amusement. She
was still getting used to their similarities, and as her gaze flickered over to
where Arnav was, who had aligned himself while talking to Nani so his body was
facing where she was, she noticed that throughout the week ever since the DNA
episode had happened, Arnav had taken a conscious decision to step away from
Sheetal and Aarav. Her gaze wandered over to Sheetal who was sitting with a
shawl wrapped around her frame, talking to NK, and the small blush on her
cheeks told her that thing were progressing well there as well.
"It's not toys" Khushi finally said looking back at Aarav,
"Even adults play with these"
"I don't see any adults playing with them," He muttered, and
Khushi looked out to see all the Raizada family sitting around talking to one
"Here, I'll play with you" Khushi said, holding out her hand
for him to accept so she could steer him to where the kids where gathered.
'No. Not with the kids" Aarav said, and Khushi chuckled
before nodding. His tiny hand grabbed hers and Khushi took him towards where
the adults were seated, however at a distance so they did not disturb anyone.
"Okay, Aarav, I am
going to bring a diya here. Just hold
the firecracker against it, and then we'll light it up" Khushi said, as she
walked towards the line of diyas on the side, when she heard Aarav call out.
"I got one!"
Khushi looked over her shoulder to see Aarav holding a chakri instead of a phooljharri, and a loud cry escaped her lips, as she ran towards
him, the fear spreading through her body, as she saw the chakri's tip light on fire, Aarav's tiny hand still holding the
Khushi's cry alerted the other members, and they looked up
startled to see Khushi run across the garden to where Aarav was, grab the
igniting chakri from its lit end, not
caring about the sudden pain up her palm as she threw it away. She faintly heard someone screaming out her
name in a distance, however Khushi was too shaken up to concentrate on what was
happening around her.
A faint ringing noise filled her ears as the adrenalin
pumped through her body, her breathing still fast, and she grabbed Aarav's
hands, her eyes inspecting over them, to see them completely unharmed.
She closed her eyes in relief, and then a harsh grip on her
arm, brought her back to earth, as she was spun around, to be crushed to a
chest, an arm wrapping tightly around her waist, the other anchoring her face
to his shoulder, as he breathed in deeply; his heart beat wildly against his
chest, while her own heart briefly soared at the contact, before she registered
the pain on her palm and she hissed out loud, tears coming to her eyes.
Arnav stepped away, concern etched over his face as he
grabbed her hurt hand and held it up, peering closely to see the angry red mark
crossing over her palm from where she had held the lit end of the firework.
"Dammit Khushi" He growled under his breath, before looking
around and demanding for someone to bring ice water.
As Hari Prakash rushed in to get some ice water, Arnav
wrapped an arm around her waist, held her close as he guided her inside. Khushi
leaned into his embrace, welcoming the few minutes of closeness she
experienced, before he put on the faade of indifference yet again.
The water was placed on the dining table, and Arnav pulled
back a chair, forcing Khushi to sit down, before he placed her hand in the ice
water. Khushi flinched and tried drawing her hand back, but Arnav forcefully
held it in place, letting the burn be soothed by the coolness of the ice.
Khushi stared at the hand that was submerged in a bowl of
water, Arnav's hand resting over hers, too scared to look up at Arnav in fear
that the indifference would still be there.
However had she looked up she would have seen Arnav's eyes
wet with emotion as he stared down at Khushi, pain once again flashing in his
exclaimed as she ran inside to see Khushi sitting on the chair, Arnav leaning
over her, as he held her hand in the ice water, "What happened? Are you okay?
Show me!" She demanded as she ran over to where they were.
"She's got a burn, it'll take time to heal, Nani" Arnav
muttered, "Do you have painkillers? I can't remember where the first-aid box
Khushi could no longer feel her hand, and as she tried
moving her fingers around, she hissed some more as a sharp pain shot up her
"Stop it Khushi"
He snapped, and Khushi's eyes flashed up to his in annoyance, only to soften
considerably to see him completely concentrated on her hand that was still held
in the ice water.
"How long?" She asked softly, and his eyes shifted to
connect with hers, as Khushi held her breath, feeling the happiness returning
in her being at no longer seeing the indifference in his eyes.
"5 minutes more" He said, his own voice low and soft, no
longer a growl or clipped, cold tone. Khushi nodded and leaned back in her chair,
her back rubbing against the front of his trousers, and he stepped in closer to
provide her with some back support as she leaned back and let her head rest
against his flat abdomen.
"Here you go, Chote"
Anjali said as she placed the ointment on the table, giving Khushi's shoulder a
squeeze of comfort.
"Did you want to change out of your clothes before I applied
your medicine?" Arnav asked, his eyes boring into hers as he waited for her
response. Khushi held his gaze as she slowly nodded.
Arnav took out her cotton night suit and held it up to her,
and Khushi took it with her uninjured hand, her fingers brushing over his, as
her eyes flashed up to connect with his. He continued to stare at her, his eyes
refusing to give anything away, and Khushi felt the hope in her deflate once
Was she never going to be forgiven for her mistake?
She moved to the bathroom to change, and fumblingly opened
the door, before closing it shut behind her, not bothering to lock it.
She placed the cotton suit on the counter top of the sink,
her injured palm held up so it wont rub against anything, as she tried undoing
the pins in her sari with one hand. She looked at her reflection and saw the
perfect kohl eyes and the red-stained lips staring back at her, and she felt
the tears prickle her eyes as she realized that all her efforts had gone to
Starting to get frustrated with the pin at her pallu, she
tugged at it harder, the tears now blurring her vision, just as the pointy edge
of the pin sharply pricked her skin, causing her to gasp out in pain as she
closed her eyes and bit her lip, whimpering slightly.
Two sharp knocks on the door alerted her, and she replied,
"Yes?". acutely aware that her voice had wobbled, betraying the tears that
threatened to stream down her face.
"Khushi, mein andar aa
jaoon?" He asked, opening the door slightly and Khushi replied in
affirmative and watched as he opened the door, leaving it open as he stepped in
and took in her state.
Without asking, he moved towards her and started to slowly
undo the pins in her sari, his fingers every now and then brushing against the bare
flesh, that got exposed every time he removed layer after layer of the sari.
The pleats had been pinned as well, and as he moved to undo
the pin, his fingers brushed against her bare stomach, and Khushi gasped, as
her stomach tightened in reflex, biting her lip as his knuckle kept brushing
against the skin as he worked towards removing the pin.
Removing the sari, he motioned for her to turn around so he
could undo the blouse. Khushi looked down blushing, her face turning warm; when
she suddenly gasped as the light in the bathroom was switched off, save for the
lone diya lighted in the bathroom, providing the only source of light.
She looked up to see a small smile on his face, as he took
hold of her shoulders and turned her around.
Khushi felt a fresh new wave of tears prickle her eyes as
she felt herself go breathless. He had turned the lights off for her, so she
wouldn't feel uncomfortable, despite him having seen all of her before. She
looked down, and gave out a sniffle her uninjured hand coming to press against
her lips to stop the tears from taking over.
"Khushi? Am I hurting you?" He asked, alarm seeping into his
voice as Khushi's whole body shook with sobs. She turned around, and flung her
arms around his waist, mindful of not letting her burnt hand come in contact
with anything, as she buried her face in his chest, letting her tears soak the
white shirt he had worn for the evening.
His own arms wrapped around her bare waist, as he gently
tried calming her.
"I am sorry" She choked out, and Arnav tightened his hold,
shaking his head.
"Khushi, I should be sorry. I knew you were insecure of
Sheetal, but didn't pay any heed to it, thinking you would get over it. I am
sorry Khushi, I should have been more sensitive" He whispered, and Khushi
stepped closer, seeking more of his warmth, as he hugged her tighter.
"I should have trusted you"
"We both made mistakes Khushi" He sighed, "And I handled it
badly as well. Instead of talking, I ignored you"
Khushi sniffed, her tears slowly drying as they slowly
talked out their mistakes over the course of last week.
"I tried" He whispered, his arms tightening around her, as
he inhaled deeply, taking in her soft scent, "But I wasn't sure how to ask for
your forgiveness, and so I decided to avoid…"
She slowly moved her head away from the his chest, and
looked up at him, her eyes adjusting to the darkness, as the caramel eyes
stared back at her, with the intensity she had grown to love. Feeling a shiver
run down her spine, she whispered,
"Arnavji, whatever you do. Never ignore me again"
He smiled, and bent down to kiss her forehead, his lips
brushing against the skin, and Khushi closed her eyes as she felt the pressure.
"Khushi, promise me, that you will never put yourself in such danger again" He growled out, and Khushi frowned in confusion, a small smile playing at her lips, rolling her eyes in amusement,
"Arnavji, it was just a small burn, I'll be better-"
"It wasn't just the firecracker, Khushi!" He cut her off, "You gave me a heart attack
tonight. Did you know that when you ran back to Aarav, your pallu had caught on
fire? I had to come and quickly step on it to make sure it didn't burn you! I
couldn't even rip it off since it was pinned to you!" Arnav said and Khushi's
eyes widened in shock.
She pulled away and looked down at the floor, and sure
enough, even the darkness she could see the edges burnt off the pallu, and dirt
marks on where Arnav had stepped on it.
"I didn't know…" She trailed off, staring down in shock.
Arnav sighed and pulled her closer, bringing her attention
back, "Khushi, please promise to think and talk before you do anything?" He asked, his eyes roaming over her face, and Khushi understood. He wasn't just asking her to be careful, but he wanted the communication to be established in their relationship. Khushi nodded, leaning up to brush her lips against his, sealing her promise.
As Arnav turned Khushi around to help her out of her clothes, Khushi closed her eyes in contentment, a small smile touching her red stained lips, at another grain of trust that had established in their relationship.
Entry # 3
Tonight is the special Diwali night in the neighbourhood as the Raizada house decorated as a bride welcomed its guests for the Diwali Party.
Arnav stood a few distance away from the entrance watching all the guests dressed up elegantly for the function. But there was one special person for whom he waited specially.
He frowned irritated as he waited for her. He had asked her to come earlier for the party lest he would be dam bored all alone and She. She was late as usual.
Suddenly his breadth hitched as he saw his thoughts taking shape. His special guest, his best friend forever was finally here.
Khushi Kumari Gupta.
She was her best friend. Arnav and Khushi had been school partners, college partners, dance partners and so were they crime partners too, their family being close friends added it up for them.
Now Arnav joined his father's business empire while Khushi joined her father's. They were now business partners. They always ended up being partners for each other in whatever they did.
They always fighted and argued but at the end of the day they were always together. Best Friends which they were.
Arnav had never thought of anything more for Khushi. He dated many girls but Khushi never did and that always releived him. He didn't know why.
But today Arnav felt different. As if this Diwali wasn't the same like any other Diwali night. They celebrated Diwali every year together.
But today, for Arnav the fairy lights seemed to glow brighter, the Diya's warmth reached his hearted and he didn't for once hear any bursting of crackers.
Arnav stared mesmerised at Khushi. For the first had he seen Khushi dressed up in a saree and that too in his favourite colour.
Her hairs left open. For the first time he noticed how long they were and he craved to run his hands through them. Her eyes seemed to glow as she took the blessings of his parents and hugged his sister. She was too lively and did mingle with his family very well. His family had always supported her even if it was her mistake and not his, earning him a scolding. But soon she would come to him and say sorry pouting which always did melt his heart.
A small smiled adored his face as the memories spent flashed through his brains.
He saw her smiling and waving back at him, coming toward him in a hugged. Her smile seemed an extra bright and charming today. He hadn't noticed when his hand had automatically, out of instinct had waved her back. And had been doing until she had reached him and had surprisingly stared at him, amused and this had brought her back to reality.
He wished her a HAPPY DIWALI and so did she followed by a bear hug form her. He did hug her back. But this mere hug had manged to excite him as nervousness went down his spine. This was not the first time they had hugged but then what had happened all of a sudden that it all seemed so different. He became stiff and excused himself as he hurried into his room, locking it.
Khushi stood in the middle of the hallway as Arnav left her and went by. It was he who was so insistent upon her coming soon and she had too agreed. Now that she had come he left her and went by.
She couldn't help but feel a little hurt. He always thought her as his best friend but she couldn't help feeling for him even then.
She sighed as she thought that she had fallen in Love with her best friend, Arnav, knowing very well that he didn't love her nor would her ever. He had never ever felt anything of her. His touch was friendly and pure but she could not help but feel butterflies flying in her stomach with his mere touch. Forget touch his close proximity seemed to make her forget to even breath. Cm' on Forget Proximity, him being with her made her heart speed up and start beating louder and faster, increasing her acidity.
She turned as Arnav's sister had called her, asking her to light the diya's in the poolside which she had seemed to have forgotten.
Khushi made his way to the poolside. The pool side was attached to Arnav's room. They had spent special moments at this place. She couldn't help but feel that maybe her tormented heart would finally get bliss on this very Diwali night.
Khushi jumped as she heard the blasting of a cracker nearby, behind the wall. She smiled at her silliness and patted her own head. She looked up at the sky and her face lit up as she saw the sky lighting up with colourful lights of the crackers.
She loved Diwali. It was on this diwali night that she had first met Arnav. First fought with him. First time became friends on this Diwali night. At was last year Diwali night that she had realised her feelings for her best friend.
She had made sure that she never let her feelings down in front of him. She never wanted to loose his friendship. She would not be able to live without him. But it hurt when you see your love with someone else. It hurt when you have to hide you feeling from him and smile back as if nothing had happened and force a smile at him.
She sighed as the memories of last Diwali flashed before her. She smiled and she started lighting Diyas.
After being in the confines of his room, Arnav had realised what Khushi ment to him. But he couldn't help but feel a little nervous as what would Khushi think when she would come to know about his feelings fo her.
No. He would never let his feelings break their friendship. And for it, he was ready to wait. Wait if needed his whole life for her.
He saw various emotions flooding across her face.
From disappointment to hurt. To hurt to love. To love to confusion to determination. And then a content smile as she lit the diya and blew the matchsticks as they ended.
He smiled at her antics. She was everything that he need in his life. But he would have to keep his feeling in check around her. For the shake of their friendship.
Little did they both know that they both had feelings for each other. If only they could read each other's mind and know it all but this not possible.
Khushi was lighting a diya when suddenly he looked up to see Arnav staring at her. For the first time, she saw the depth in his eyes as he stared at her. She gulped as her heartbeats raced forgetting the world around them, they stared at each other, lost in another world.
Suddenly Arnav sprang up as he threw the matchstick she was holding to the ground and screemed at her.
"Khushi! Be carefull dammit! What if you would have burnt yourself. Can't you see the matchstick ending."
"Oh! Arnav...I'm really sorry you know. I hadn't just seen. But it's all your fault"
"Ah! So tell me why this accusion on me. What have I Done?"
"Because you were staring at me!"
"Oh. Is it? Can't I? I don't think I would have to pay a tax to stare you. Do I?"
"No! But.., You just..You know..I was just kind of.."
"Should I be Arnav?"
"Tables turned! Is it Khushi!"
"Don't change the topic Arnav. And Dont. Stare. At Me. Like that?"
"I feel a little uneasy!"
"what why Arnav? And why were you staring at me"
"I just wanted to talk to you! And don't look at me as if I did a crime at just staring at my love!"
"Oh! I mean you know! You are my best friend."
"You sure. Just that?"
"Yup! Why you thought something more"
"Yup! Foolish of me to think that way"
"And what were you thinking?"
"And why should I say that to you?''
"And why won't you Khushi?"
"Because..I just can't? Now stop it all here. You have gone crazy."
"It's not me. its you!"
"Oh Ya! That's why you left me stranded downstairs after you asked me to come soon to the party. Maybe you just remembered to call you girl friend then?"
"Girl Friend? Who Girl friend?"
"Sheetal! She said me! Don't lie to me now?"
"Hey! Khushi! Don't cry. You know I can't see you cry ever."
"No! You go to that Sheetal!''
"Sheetal is not my girl friend Khushi. I don't know why she is doing it all. Trust me Khushi!"
"Promise Khushi! And now smile!''
"You are the best! I really really am so happy now!"
"Was some one Jealous?"
"Don't act so innocent Khushi! You were!"
"No I wasn't."
"Okaaay! You sure?"
"100%?" Saying so he leaned in closer and closer each passing second. Was she really Jealous? Yes! She was. But she would never confess that to him. Ever.
She was about to deny once again when she felt his soft lips on hers. Shivers ran down his spine.
He was Kissing her?
This was what which ran through their brains. They knew they should stop befor thing got complicated but neither of them seemed to break first. But live this moment and chrish this Diwali.
Their first Kiss!
They kissed each other passionately. At first it was slow and nervous of the other person's reaction but soon it went wild.
They finally broke being out of breath as their breaths mingled and their foreheads resting on each other.
They stood motionless as the heard the fire crackers lighting up the sky with bright colours. The poolside decorated with Diya's and Fairy lights.
They smiled at each other.
"I LOVE YOU!"
They laughed. Their laugher mixing up with the loud noise of the crackers. Their eyes sparling with the Fairy lights. Their arms around each other as their hearts were now at peace.
This year's Diwali too had been special as the Diwali Nights every year. But a little special this time.
Cupid and Psyche lived happily ever after.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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