Changing
- Arnav, no! -
I woke up trembling, opening my eyes. It was a dream, nothing was real ...My mind minutely elaborated this thought, trying to calm reactions that my body had been due to that damn nightmare.
I touched my forehead with one hand, cold, and noticed that the sweat had soaked the temples ... I sat down on the bed, passing a hand through my hair and trying to ignore the strange feeling that had taken possession of my body.
A dream, just a dream.
But again in a flashback her terrified eyes made me shudder with disgust. Disgust with myself, that I had dared to even touch her. The rational part of me kept yelling at me that I should not feel remorse, it was her fault ...
But my first instinct was still lost to drown in those eyes, that seemed to want me to pierce the soul every time they chained to mine ...
I jumped up, clenching my fists and contracting the jaw in a painful grip. I could not afford such qualms, I could not afford to feel remorse.
People like me do not know what means remorse.
I slipped the robe, and went out of my room sighed, trying not to think about the fact that she was a few feet from me, in her bed, sleeping undisturbed.
When I learned that she was able to escape a blind rage had fallen on my body. Rage, resentment and fear.
Fear ... fear of not being able to get her back, I lost her forever, no longer being able to soak in her brown eyes, so deep inside to sign myself.
But the fury had prevailed, and the other emotions were swept away by a tornado of anger.
She had not surrendered, not yet, and that thought made me go crazy.
She was only mine, only mine and she would have to accept it.
I gave her confidence, I tried to be less hard, less tough, and the result was her escape.
Crazy and stupid ... really she believed that she could escape from me? She could hide in the other side of the planet, and I would have found her.
I smiled at the thought that nothing and no one could stop me from her, to make her mine, body and soul.
But a relationship can be based on similar feelings? Hatred, anger and disgust that she feel towards me could prevent her from ever bind permanently to me?
I sighed, what the hell I was thinking?
She will give up, that silly little girl who wanted so much to play the role of heroin, would give up, by hook or by crook, and nothing would prevent me from tie her to me.
I was crazy? Maybe.
How could a little girl of ten years younger than me, silly and fragile, so fascinated me?
Maybe was for her strength, for her ability to fight me, to reject me? It was for this reason that I had bewitched?
It was just a little girl, I had never seen a person more naive and fragile like her.
I had known women, but never so pure, delicate, fascinating.
She pretended to be strong, hiding behind the mask of coldness and sarcasm that she showed the world.
But the mask was sold and all that remained was a small woman, too fragile and delicate to live in this world.
A bas***d world, where there is the law of the jungle, where no one thinks of others, where selfishness reigns supreme.
I roused myself from my thoughts when I heard muffled sobs coming from the room of the corridor to my right ... I looked around, without realizing it had come up to the room of Khushi ...
Was she crying? Those pants made me feel almost tenderness ...
Here it is, the little girl pretending to be a woman ...
My hand rested on the handle of her door automatically ... I wanted to go, I wanted to hug her, apologize to her, soothe her pain but ... and behold, the anger returned, inexorably, to take possession of my mind: she does not have to escape, she must not betray my trust like that!
Why did she do? Why must she always ruin everything?
Clutched my jaw and walked down the hall, away from her, away from her pain.
Without realizing I went down in the living room and sat on the couch, taking my head in my hands ... enough, I should not think of her.
She did not deserve my sympathy.
Remember, Arnav?
An evil voice echoed in my mind: She is the Gupta, the one that made you lose millions of dollars, years ago. Who has insulted you, called you murderess, she said she will never love you!
And, again, the anger exploded in my head, forcing my body to react, to vent the fury inside me. So I took a fist against the wall of the hall, and the sound of flesh against the cement echoed in the great hall, amplifying the painful silence that followed ...
**
- Well, Mr. Raizada, I can say that our business is concluded ... - the man handed me his clammy hand as I turned a smile sweetly, probably very similar to what, at that time, was printed on his face.
Paul Redford was the most slimy and disgusting I have ever met in my life. He ran a major construction company in Chicago, with branches in Los Angeles, Seattle and New York. Needless to say, to increase his earnings had been able to come to business with the main mafia clans in all of North America. The gain was mutual: he exacted the money from the municipality for funding to public housing, and we, financing his intentions, taking a large part of the total gain ... simple and efficient.
Moreover, he was also known for his passion for beautiful women.
He used in his purpose and pleasure girls buying them with money and taking advantage of them.
But who was I to judge? Was not I doing the same?
I smiled and shook his hand, while his mundane mud brown eyes peering at me with curiosity.
- So, Arnav, the big day is approaching, eh? -
- Yes- I said
- And tell me, how is Khushi? -
I stiffened, I did not like the way he said her name. I also remembered how he had looked at the day of the engagement party ... with a look of desire.
- She's fine, thank you. At this time she is busy with the preparations ... - I lied.
Because the reality is that since days Khushi was curled up in her bed, crying, without I could do nothing for her.
She wanted to go out, not a day passed when I did not feel her screaming, begging me to get her out of the damn room but ... she had not paid enough.
She had to understand who commanded, and this was an appropriate punishment for her escape.
- I understand - the voice devious and mischievous of Verma shook me. I looked up, and saw that his eyes shone with a light wicked and perverse.
And in that moment I understood his intentions.
With a flick of lightning I took him by the neck, slamming him against the wall of my office. Our faces were very close, I could feel his breath on my face, and that disgusted me further.
- What the hell ... -
-Touch her and you're dead - my was not a whisper, but a real growl, while clutching the collar of the bas***d. I knew what he was thinking, he was a skilled player, and it wasn't the first time I came to know that he had seduced women with flattery, other men's wives ...
- Calm – he blew when the air he was missing - I was not going to make her anything ... -
- Well - I whispered menacingly, careful to look into his eyes - because I do not tolerate that my things are touched from someone else-he knew that I was not joking, he had guessed from my tone of voice, because suddenly his eyes widened with fear . Satisfied, I let him go, and without looking, I went to the desk, pulling out the top drawer and putting a cigarette to his lips.
- You're trapped, huh Raizada? – he asked.
- You're wrong, Redford. I have trapped her ... - Stared at me for a second and laughed, picking up the cards laid on the desk and headed for the door.
- See you at the wedding, Raizada -
I nodded, serious, and waited for the bas***d came out, and then I beat my fists against the desk in walnut.
I was angry, I did not like the way he looked Khushi, during the party, and most importantly, I did not like the way his eyes were lit up when I named her ... wicked and perverse, and I won't allow him to approach her.
I'd do anything, but that bas***d would stay miles away from her ...
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I walked down the hall, I was rather in a hurry: in a few minutes I had to get an important call, and I had to get to my office immediately. Involuntarily, I went to hit a maid.
- Excuse me, Mr. Raizada - as ever they had to apologize, even if it was my fault.
- How are she? - I said cold, forgetting the call.
The woman sighed, looking down - As usual ... cries all day, and she do not get out of bed ... - her tone was worried, but I felt that I was hiding something.
- What else is there? - I snapped angry, I could not stand people who lie.
She looked into my eyes: she had a clear gaze, but sad.
- The lady does not want to eat – she said seriously, without preamble.
I stiffened – It's two days that she does not touch food, if we force her to eat, she rejects more ... we start to worry-
And here is the final blow.
- Also – she said - yesterday had a fever. High. She was talking in her sleep, I did not understand what she was saying. I tried to give her Tylenol, but she refused. The fever does not go down -
Anger, the only feeling I felt at that moment was anger towards Khushi, who was determined to oppose me, to myself, that I persisted in wanting to submit her , and also ...
- Why did not you tell me? - I snapped, infuriated by launching the waitress a look askance. She frowned, confused
- Miss told me not to tell you.. -
- And you who have to obey? - I asked, sarcastically - me or her? Who is paying you? - I sighed in front of her eyes humbled - let it be, but from now on, limited to contact me for anything. Now give me the keys-
She looked at me and nodded, but I could see in her eyes, a spark of disapproval. Probably she did not like the fact that I had locked down Khushi ...
I walked into the room, ready to rant, but the vision that I stood in front of me die the voice in my throat: Khushi was curled up on the bed in a fetal position, with her hands clasped around her frail body. She was asleep, but I could see the tears on her face ...
She was beautiful, I had never seen a creature so beautiful in my entire life. Without thinking I approached her and took her in my arms, being careful not to wake her up.
I took her to my room without any effort, she was light, seemed to have the same consistency as a porcelain doll ...
Once there, I put her gently on the soft blankets of the bed, and wrapped in a blanket. I touched her forehead: it was hot, probably the fever had risen. As soon as she woke up, I would have told her to eat, and take a pain reliever.
I sat on the bed, resting my head on my elbow and looking at her intently.
I could see her face for hours on end, like a child, so beautiful to kill my breath.
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The hours passed, and she did not wake up. I began to worry, but I thought it was because of fever if she slept so long.
But her face was calm, relaxed, were days that I could not see her so quiet.
I sighed, I had to release her and allow her to get out of the damn room ...she had understand the punishment, and I doubt that she would try to escape again.
In that moment I felt Khushi sighed in her sleep, maybe she was waking up. Unconsciously, her small hand touched mine, and I felt a strange warmth in the chest ... as it was possible to have similar emotions to the touch? I took her hand in mine, it was cold: I hoped to be able to heat it with my heat. And that gesture Khushi's eyes blinked several times, then narrowing ... she was waking up. Automatically I shook her hand in mine, and she opened her eyes. What I saw in her eyes, when she put her look on my face, it was confusing. She grimaced very funny, which almost made me smile.
But then, the confusion vanished, giving way to the realization ... awareness of being in my bed, our bodies and our neighbors hands clasped.
And turned away abruptly, sitting down on the bed and away as possible from me. Her hair was disheveled, she was very pale, but her cheeks were flushed and her eyes shone ... she was beautiful.
- Good morning - mine was just a whisper, but she felt the same, because she looked at me ...
- What am I doing here? - She snapped, her voice was hoarse.
I put myself sitting, returning her gaze with a penetrating look.
- I brought you here ... – I said
- Why? -
- Because the waitress told me that you had a fever and you did not want to eat -
She wrinkled her nose - I had asked her not to say anything! - At that time she looked like a spoiled child, and I could not help but smile.
- Well, explain to me why do not you eat? - I asked calmly, but inside me I burned with fury ... I did not want to scare her.
She touched her forehead, and then returned to look in my eyes:
- I have a headache-she complained, enraged, changing the subject.
I sighed - First you have to eat something, and then you'll take an antibiotic ... -
Her eyes darkened, I did not know why, at that moment, my words had hurt her.
- I'm not hungry ... -she murmured
I sighed, looking grim - How can you not be hungry if you do not eat since days? - I asked her, trying not to show all of my disappointment.
And here's her look troubled, that I hated to see her on her beautiful face.
-Let me go- she pleaded, looking at me with a look so clear that I could drown in her eyes
I sighed - If you eat, I give you permission to get out of your room-I whispered.
I could not free he. I wanted her, she would be mine.
She frowned – This is not what I meant-she muttered, quietly.
I got nervous-You know I can not let you go-
- Why? -
- After two days you will become my wife -
I saw her turn pale, and my discontent grew. It was so disgusting the thought of becoming Mrs. Raizada?
And here's the rage back to fill her eyes as she got up with a jerk lightning - I will not become your wife! -
I looked at her, smiling evil - Obviously I did not think the same way-I ascertained calm.
And her rage grew up - You can not force me, Raizada. I'll never say to you yes I do, forget it -
I got up too, going up to her, I had her back, and pulled back a strand of hair, wearing my hand to her neck.
I pulled my lips to her ear, and the smell hit me in full.
She stood motionless, while I whispered - Gupta, it's useless to fight. I won. You must learn to accept that I'm in charge, here-Slowly I kissed her earlobe, before falling on the neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses on her pale skin. In a fit of the desire I turned at her, meeting her eyes wide with terror.
I kissed her slowly, to calm her down. I did not mean to hurt her. Later, I had repented of the act the other day, even though it was hard to admit, even to myself. That's when my lips rested on her cheek, she collapsed in my arms. I froze, worried, and holding her while folding her head against my chest.
- What? - I asked, seemingly calm.
- I do not ... I do not feel so well-she said, and I pulled her back onto the bed.
I touched her forehead: she was burning.
- Now you eat something - ordered - and then you take antibiotics -
When I saw her eyes narrow, angry by the peremptory tone with which I had spoken, I smiles: the same old fighting spirit.
- If you do I'll let you go – I added to convince to her, and saw her sigh, turning her head to the other side of the bed, looking away from me.
I left the room to reach a waitress but I heard her whisper, just before shutting the door behind me:
-You will pay, Raizada –
Edited by DUGGUlicious - 11 years ago
yup
