In The End
Silence.
Revolves around us, impassive, giving me an ephemeral peace.
Because his body close to mine reminds me of what I did, what I allowed to do. I have donated him my body, and I lost. Everything that surrounds make me swallow, if I will not have the strength and desire to fight back. His arms held me tight to his body, I feel his breathing accelerated, the scent of man, he will not let me shoo me away, to get away from him. I feel his lips touch my hair, his chest against my back. I turned around, I did not have the strength to look into his eyes. But he grabbed me by the waist, making join our bodies. And I cannot think of anything except the fact that I lost. I became his b*tch.
In a surge of anger I still try to shoo me away, but his voice glacial immobilizes me.
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO STOP MOVING? -
I quiver with rage and indignation, he turned as if I was his slave.
- You cannot let me go - mine is not a request, but a provocation, almost an accusation. But he noticed the slight tremor in my voice, because he hugs me stronger, joining our bodies more. He caresses my cheek with one hand, and shivers of disgust hit me.
- I do not –he whisper bending down to kiss my shoulder.
I sigh and a tear falls from my eyelids pale: I collected it immediately with a finger, ashamed of myself: I am strong, I must not give up.
- Are you crying? -
- What makes you think that? -
- Your gesture just now is not much misunderstanding ... -
- Put your soul in peace, Raizada: I'll not ever cry for you ... I will not give this satisfaction! -
Suddenly he got away from me and for a moment I think he decided to leave me alone.
But he put close to my face, his lips run through the mine and then rest on the cheek, and finally the ear.
- In a week we'll get married, do not you think time has come to call me by name? - His is just a whisper, however, I can feel the arrogance that permeates the tone of his voice. I look at him with eyes of fire: his eyes are bright with excitement.
- Raizada, do you realize that the issue of marriage is just a farce, is not it? - I ask, sour and sarcastic. He laughs, stroking my hair.
- For you it's a farce – he whispers sweet - for me it's all true, and you will realize as soon as possible ... Khushi -
My name pronounced with so much hatred and impertinence raises such a rage that barely I resist to punch him on the nose.
Before I can even realizing it, he put my head on his chest.
We remain silent, lulled by the beating of our hearts, while my mind is focused on one thought: to escape from that delusion.
I will succeed if it's the last thing I do, I'll be able to escape ...
- From tomorrow I want you to go down to dine downstairs with me ... -It's not a request but an order, and comes totally unexpected. I jumped up, staring at him with eyes of fire.
- Forget it - mine is not a scream, but I raised my voice, and I am aware of how I was incinerated with his eyes.
His look suddenly became hard and cold, while lifting the shutter, sitting on the bed. He grabs my wrist with one hand, squeezing it tightly.
- You must learn to understand who's in charge, Gupta. If I say something, I demand that you do, and without complaining. Clear? -
My wrist hurts, I'm sure you will see a bruise where he tight, but I'll not consent to every absurd request.
- Go to the hell Raizada! -
With a roar of anger he left my wrist and throws a punch to the back of the bed, making me jump. Look at me, trying to hold back the fury that would clearly wreak on my body, and not on the furniture.
- You compel me to pick you up by force, Gupta. Evaluate the alternatives ... -
I know he's not lying, his eyes gives me the confirmation. With one click he gets up, looking down from his post while I look at him with hatred.
I clench my jaw - You're a bas***d, Raizada -
His eyes are cold and, with agonizing slowness, he get dressed.
- Think what you like-he bursts - the fact remains that soon you'll be my wife, and you'll do what I say ... tomorrow things will change, Gupta, and you must learn to behave like most regards your position ... -
-MY POSTION! – I blurt angry - My position! What the hell are you talking about? I am not your wife, I never will be! I AM JUST YOUR B*TCH! -
He looks at me shocked, and then does something that I never expected: he gives me a slap, blinded by rage. I shrink automatically, putting a hand on my injured cheek ... it hurts, but not physically. The humiliation burns, flows like acid through my veins, tears struggling to come out, and escapes from my control. Fell from my face and almost I feel its rattle when it falls on the sheet, breaking the stillness of the scene. I feel his eyes on me, I look up and see him ... lost, eyes absent, empty and brokenhearted. I do not know what caused this ... certainly not my tears ... he is not a human being, he does not have a conscience or pity, and tears, in life, people will have paid a lot, because of him ... it was impossible that he felt guilty!
Suddenly he receives, I see his eyes focus on my face, staring at me intently. His eyes hardened, and without another word he walk out quickly from the room, slamming the door with vehemence.
And that's when my anger is released, not in tears, but in an inhuman scream, a scream of anger and helplessness, hatred and resentment, which echoed throughout the room, leaving an unmistakable echo in my soul, causing cracks in the abyss of my heart ...
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The tinkling fork on the plate, I cannot look away from food that the waiters have just been served.
- Are not you hungry? - I hear his voice muffled: my brain is focused on one goal: escape from hell.
I look at him, look at his satisfied smile and I contract the jaw: it is not enough took my life, my body, my happiness .. no, he should expect we shared meals together!
And I had satisfied him, but for a simple reason: I want to make him believe that I had surrendered to him, that I had go down to his level. This was the key part of the plan and then I could trick him.
- Not much- I whispered, watching him suspiciously.
Sigh – You didn't like the food? -
- It was all very good-
- So what's wrong? – he seems genuinely curious
- None -
He bangs his fist on the table so suddenly that startled me. I lift my gaze back and see that's looking at me with angry expression.
- You could try to not always respond in monosyllables? - His voice is low, he try not to lose control.
- What can I say? – I blurt, annoyed - That disgusts me everything that has to do with you? -
He looks at me, angry, and jumps up and come close to and bend to whisper to my ear.
- Accustomed to it Gupta, because from now on you'll depend from me-his tone, however, is no longer angry, but hilarious: clearly this whole situation amuses him
- Exactly-I sigh, and he returns to his seat, without taking way his eyes from mine.
I take a deep breath and get ready to make my move: it is difficult, but not impossible, and I still groped ...
- I have something to ask you ... -
He stares at me, his gaze is surprised, but tries not to show it. He moves his chair, uncomfortable
-Let's hear ... -
I try with all my being to control the tremor in the voice, and the look in his eyes, trying to sound sincere - Payal asked me if I wanted to go with her to choose ... - I'm stuck, I cannot go on, and his eyes light up with new curiosity
- Yes? -
I take another breath, deep, and I decided to speak:
- To choose the wedding dress, she would also my opinion ... - I do not know how I managed to say those words, I did not think I could do it ...
I look at him and see that he dropped his fork on the plate, shaking hands in a fist.
I'm waiting for answer, every second that passes anxiety is amplified, increasing the beating of my heart ... I try in every way to not to hyperventilate, but it is not easy.
And suddenly his eyes back to meet my ... shining with a strange light, he seem afraid.
- How can I be sure that you do not run away? - His question is more than legitimate, but I was ready, so I say with confidence, trying to sound as sincere as possible - I do not think I could get away with all your minions around me.. . -
He tightens the jaw - No -
- No what? -
- You'll not go there-
My eyes glisten with rage - Why? - Mine is not a question but an accusation
He stares at me, again seems angry – I will not run that risk ... -
- YOU WILL NOT KEEP ME SEGREGATED IN THIS HOUSE FOREVER! - I realize that I have raised my voice, but I do not care: this is my only chance, and I groped, or I wouldn't myself call Khushi Kumari Gupta ...
I look into his eyes and see his determination, the decision to not to let me go, do not let me go out.
Defeat, I jumped up, with tears in my eyes, and give him my back, heading briskly up the stairs, cursing myself mentally for my bad luck. But a narrow arm to my wrist prevents me. I turn, and before I know it, I have my face just few inches from that bas***d. My breathing is accelerated by this sudden closeness, and I find myself gasping for air when his grip on my waist becomes narrower. I look up and my eyes are reflected in his, transparencies and undecided.
- Fine-his hot breath so close to my face, I can almost hear the frantic beat of his heart
- What? - I ask, confused and disoriented. He narrows his eyes, and I almost thought I heard his voice tremble - You can go, but also my guards will accompany you and you'll not be alone for even a second ... -
For a moment I'm so much happy but all of a sudden when I feel his hands stroking my own cheek, I get nervous and I find myself blushing like a girl.
Damn!
- Thank-mine is just a whisper, but I know he heard it, because he suddenly tightens stronger and plunges his face in my hair, breathing hard.
- You're welcome, but ... one false move and you're dead, Gupta - his threat is real, I realize that the way he said it ... I nod, serious, and he let me go, looking at me intently and saying - Before going come into my office! -
I nodded and, after a last look to him, I am going to climb the stairs, enjoying the profound opportunity that was given to me ...
Edited by DUGGUlicious - 11 years ago
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