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Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!
Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!

Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? (Page 39)

-Cruiser- IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 9:12pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by estel

Originally posted by cruiser51



See, all I am saying is it is unfortunate most of the women lib activists, many social workers, professional protestors...take up causes without even understanding the issues in their wholesome entirety! This is why most end up losing credibility because they have only a shallow connect with realities as well as real issues!



I disagree here. We can't expect them to understand everything. Time is limited. It is impossible to follow all issues and to follow the pros/cons of every situation. Women lib activists, many social workers take up causes that come to their attention. Every case, every story, every situation is different. They take up causes based on their experiences (the people that they meet and the stories that they hear). My childhood best friend is a social worker and for her every day is different.

I applaud them because at least they are putting in some effort in their work. It is easier for us to sit back and judge them when we have no knowledge of their experiences and their environment.


If I respond to this one, this thread would cross 150 pages in unintended directions!Tongue

I also admire activists and the spirit behind women's lib!

MANY, unfortunately end up harming the cause and those they are fighting for, because of their shallow and superficial understanding and approach!

If it was left to Medha Patkar, Mamta Bannerji and Arundhati Roy, there would be no more industrialization, no more electricity plants, no dams, no more development of any kind because they are against displacement of any kind!

Singur is a classic case. Mamta saw to it TATAs got kicked out of SIngur in the name of protecting interests of people who would be affected by factory set up on their land! TATAs went to Gujarat where Modi welcomed them with open arms, TATAs paid to Gujarat farmers the price that had been set up by Guj Government and those fellows have become rich overnight!

Bengal, on the other hand lost a golden opportunity of getting Singur and surrounding area transformed like Gurgaon (thanks to Maruti and it's ancillary units that transformed it into a swanking city of factories, BPOs, Mallst!---------------- Net result, those poor farmers would continue to languish in abject poverty, as has been the fate of their ancestors from time immemorial!

Oh Yes! Mamata ji successfully fought for a cause and 'WON"!ROFL




Edited by cruiser51 - 12 November 2012 at 9:59pm

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ChillHum

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

I'll try to keep this short (super task for me) because I'm actually sleepy at 10 PM. LOL

@Guess_who

Yes, gender differences and role expectations are very common. They have been ingrained in society for many years. It is not just in India, but across the world in many cultures. But just because it is culturally expected does not mean that it is fair and acceptable.

(although not all societies were male dominated. e.g Margaret Mead's studies on Polynesian cultures and matriarchal societies, many cultures are also matrilineal)

Men have expectations too, and not all are fair. I have a problem with those as well. Men should not have to simply respect someone for being a lady. Respect is mutual and earned. Don't hit a girl, don't ever cry, be a man, they can all be unfair and unrealistic expectations of men.

I'm personally against rigid social notions whether it is about men or women. I find them to be biased and unfair, sometimes against men and sometimes against women. Even if unintentional, it is still a bias and these perceptions need to be changed. This topic was about women, but there are several issues where men get the short end of the stick as well.


@BOLD: Just taking the liberty of making your first line clearer----You meant "Men too have to face a burden of expectancy and in instances, it is not fair!"

See, now you see a classic perceptional divide!

Had the same thing been stated by me or another male poster, the very female members who clapped and LIKED your comments above, would eye it with a scorn and ignore it as coming from nasty male perspective!

Gender bias or perceptional bias?Tongue


*Oops...I just noticed, there is only one LIKE by Chandru, but I am confident, by evening it will gain quite a few more LIKES from...I can guess...Smile


Edited by cruiser51 - 12 November 2012 at 9:56pm

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 9:44pm | IP Logged
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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 10:15pm | IP Logged
Absolutely agree with you chandramukhi. I too hated that statement by siddu. I felt that it was sexist remark. What disappointed me more is that no one esp sapna objected to it. 

Modesty is definitely a characteristic which appeals to most people, but it looks equally good on men as on a women. 

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-Chandramukhi-

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 10:17pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Chandramukhi-

Originally posted by cruiser51



Honour killings are disgraceful and in Indian society, take place in many part...infact not just India, the Sub-continent I would say!

MC / BC?

In July I was in India and as luck would have it friends dragged me to night clubs on 3 occasions twice in Gurgaon and once in Delhi. In Delhi Party there was a bunch of Jet Airways Airhostesses and in Gurgaon, on both occasions Call centre crowd...loads of girls.

If I tell you how much Mc-BC these super cute and gorgeous girls did, many here would be thrilled to see EQUALITY being achieved in India!

If you are from Delhi, I am sure you know how bindaas girls are in North and South Campuses.

And inspite of all that MC-BC equality, I would still say, in their own interest, different yardsticks HAVE TO BE THERE...Prevent & Prepare Rather than Repent and Repair...as the Villain of this thread's quote sayer said famously!Tongue



Why do you make it sound as if the objection we are raising is to see such an end result. That is not the concern or expectation here. The problem is whenever girls get aggressive and use foul language, they get criticized for being girls and not because such qualities are demeaning and shouldn't be encouraged.

Many people have admitted that such qualities are looked down upon and worth every criticism. But that criticism should be for the wrong actions and not because a girl isn't fitting the perception of the society.


@BOLD: Thats a sweeping generalization!

If we are restricting this debate to issues concerning Upper and Middle-Lower Middle Class India (as I said it is IMPOSSIBLE TO generalize whole of India and their diverse set of issues and challenges)...then be it girls or boys, get chided for being loud, aggressive or for using foul languages!

My specific question is...IN YOUR FAMILIES...(I am asking all posters here), is there / was there a case where Son/s spoke loudly, rudely/ abused and parents clapped away or looked the other way where as they went wild with rage each time the girls spoke loudly or rudely)?Shocked

I am going by my own experiences and what I have seen happen to my cousins!

Be it boys or girls, all got the reprimand as and when their parents perceived them to cross the line of decent behaviour (or in other words, they thought we were crossing line of LAJJA and treading on ASHLEEL path)!
Ermm

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 10:48pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Chandramukhi-

Originally posted by cruiser51



@BOLD: Just taking the liberty of making your first line clearer----You meant "Men too have to face a burden of expectancy and in instances, it is not fair!"

See, now you see a classic perceptional divide!

Had the same thing been stated by me or another male poster, the very female members who clapped and LIKED your comments above, would eye it with a scorn and ignore it as coming from nasty male perspective!

Gender bias or perceptional bias?Tongue


*Oops...I just noticed, there is only one LIKE by Chandru, but I am confident, by evening it will gain quite a few more LIKES from...I can guess...Smile


Really is this how you want discuss the issue at hand. FYI: We have already discussed and admitted that stereotypes exist for both genders. And even likes have been showered when similar content was expressed by a male member of IF, for example Roshan's words here which I agreed to completely. So please again do not read much into the likes and draw a conclusion.

"Talking of stereotypes, no one should be ground under the whetstones of generalizations and stereotypes.

Men = Macho = Don't cry = Mardaana = Chauvinist = WRONG!

Women = Docile = Crybabies = Weak = Petulant = WRON


RTH is one of the members who is fair and balanced with her argument, it has nothing to do with her being a woman or man. If your comments will be fair, you will showered by the likes as well. Also a matter of fact, you haven't really liked many comments of the female members on this thread, so should I assume that you are the one who is actually encouraging the gender bias here ???



Oh Not at all!...This same discussion was on another thread and there were so many females who have agreed with my take on Lajja-Ashleelta. Its just that they realise the futility of entering this thread where discussion, if I may call it one, is on one track...! Just because divinity, music_masti, sara, tere-mere, salmangirl...many others who I dont remember now, are not on this thread doesn't mean only 'There is discrimination and anyaay' line is right!

I can only click LIKE if I see a post not screaming of 'Females ke saath Ghore anyaay', coz I do not agree with that!

I gave examples. If I say I had freedom to return home by 9.30 PM and sister did not have, many female libbers would say HAAAYE!-ANYAAY!...Thats not the case! Stakes are different and obviously, better safe then sorry!

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