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Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!
Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!

Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? (Page 37)

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 9:22am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ranjanruna

Ok i accept u r intelecually brilliant . Two questions 1. I know in east of kailash even small boys use mc bc in the good society. Have u asked them or try to study why they r using that. 2. Recently there was a honour killing of a couple in Delhi . Have u try to understand why the woman's relative kill them in honour killing? U will get the answer on lajya and how simple but how vast it is.


Honour killings are disgraceful and in Indian society, take place in many part...infact not just India, the Sub-continent I would say!

MC / BC?

In July I was in India and as luck would have it friends dragged me to night clubs on 3 occasions twice in Gurgaon and once in Delhi. In Delhi Party there was a bunch of Jet Airways Airhostesses and in Gurgaon, on both occasions Call centre crowd...loads of girls.

If I tell you how much Mc-BC these super cute and gorgeous girls did, many here would be thrilled to see EQUALITY being achieved in India!

If you are from Delhi, I am sure you know how bindaas girls are in North and South Campuses.

And inspite of all that MC-BC equality, I would still say, in their own interest, different yardsticks HAVE TO BE THERE...Prevent & Prepare Rather than Repent and Repair...as the Villain of this thread's quote sayer said famously!Tongue



Edited by cruiser51 - 12 November 2012 at 9:25am

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 9:27am | IP Logged
The above posts looks like essays to meStern Smile... CANNOT read essays for the sake of my sanityLOL

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 9:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

@Cruiser

 

Now we are delving into another issue of inequality in society. Up until now we were not (at least I wasn't) discussing feminine safety, chastity and purity. It was more of cultural expectations and discipline.

 

Boys who are loud, disrespectful, boisterous, argumentative and rude are chided that such behavior is inappropriate. Girls who do similar things are chided for being unladylike or losing feminine grace and dignity. The point so far was that these qualities like politeness & modesty are equally important to both genders, hence the discipline in such qualities should not be lopsided.

 

The freedom for women to dress as they please, hang out when and where they please is a different issue. Parents and relatives put restrictions on women because they care a lot and are worried about the risks. And yes, in many parts of Indi and the world, women have more risks. I'll agree with that wholeheartedly. But at the same time I feel the problem is a society that teaches "Don't get raped/molested" rather than "Do not rape/molest". The social outlook should not be lock the girl away so she is safe, but rather let us invest time, money and resources to make it safe for the girl and punish all those who put her at risk. If a man is mugged he isn't told "he had it coming" or "he was asking for it" or "he should know better than to go out at night". Similarly if a girl is raped/molested she should not be told such things. She should be told "it is not your fault" and "we will find and punish who did this to you" and "we are with you". After all the stigma of rape/molestation is not in the woman nor is it in the criminal act ' but how society perceives it.

 

Our world will never be ideal. It will be full of risks. There will be rapes, murders, muggings, hit and runs, acts of terrors. We cannot change that. What we can change is how we perceive the act and condemn the criminal not the victim.

 

That being said the social stigma of rape/molestation often is worse for men. Women are perceived weak and vulnerable so she receives some sort of sympathy and support as a victim. Men who get raped/molested most of the time never speak up because it is so un-macho, so weak to be a victim that admitting to it would lead to loss of their manhood and masculinity in society. Another reason why gender stereotypes and roles in society must be broken. It is not just for women, but for the benefit of everyone in society as a whole.



I agree with various points in your eloquent post!Smile

See, all I am saying is it is unfortunate most of the women lib activists, many social workers, professional protestors...take up causes without even understanding the issues in their wholesome entirety! This is why most end up losing credibility because they have only a shallow connect with realities as well as real issues!

Education, professional counseling (of parents more than kids), can slowly take care of many prejudices...

...till that happens...girls need extra care and caution...and yes Boys too need a constant drill of Values and Sanskaar...goes without saying!

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 10:18am | IP Logged
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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 11:23am | IP Logged
This discussion is going for too long anyway me and my wife know that we are equal partner in the house hold so we share our duties when we go to a mall she does the shopping I do the paying, I pick up the suitcases she picks the keys. At home she prepares the food and I enjoy it...LOL Just kidding.

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Posted: 12 November 2012 at 11:45am | IP Logged
Originally posted by cruiser51




MC / BC?

In July I was in India and as luck would have it friends dragged me to night clubs on 3 occasions twice in Gurgaon and once in Delhi. In Delhi Party there was a bunch of Jet Airways Airhostesses and in Gurgaon, on both occasions Call centre crowd...loads of girls.

If I tell you how much Mc-BC these super cute and gorgeous girls did, many here would be thrilled to see EQUALITY being achieved in India!

If you are from Delhi, I am sure you know how bindaas girls are in North and South Campuses.

And inspite of all that MC-BC equality, I would still say, in their own interest, different yardsticks HAVE TO BE THERE...Prevent & Prepare Rather than Repent and Repair...as the Villain of this thread's quote sayer said famously!Tongue



 cruiser I must say, unfair reasoning.
I have a senior friend who used to be and a cousin who currently are residents in delhi and a regular in delhi, kanpur lucknow-ranchi route.
 They are normal , society obliged polite ladies who don't use MC-BC as fashion or because its cool, they use it to protect themselves.
They told me if in the route you travel, you act coy, bas***ds think they are signalling positive, if you are shy and ladylike they will act macho and assertive meaning coming and seating beside you, take inappropriate advantages by touching etc. They use the words MC BC etc purely to protect themselves from such people. If they say it, they might mock them and call them cheap girls but they won't dare it again groups of girls , they travel and thats how they protect their dignity, by acting loud and crass as boys.

And It is effective. I myself have no issues in MC-BC.I don't use it for fun  . I don't condemn it either.  on certain occasions in public transport when I have been short changed, I found it useful to thrash those bas***ds verbally using MC-BC. YOu can talk to certain people only in the language they understand.

And I would prefer if I am not judged by some God forsaken 14th century yardstick of modesty  for doing something to protect myself.  Then society should find a way to educate and evolve itself and specially its menfolk. and IF the society cannot do that, that, then I give two hoots about any  such hypocritical yardstick of modesty. 

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