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Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!
Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!

Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? (Page 30)

-Chandramukhi- IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
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blackie

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by guess_wh0

"Lajja aurat ka gehna hota hai"

First, why is this considered demeaning?

Secondly, having that belief is not regressive in any form. The most liberal and "modern" people will have that belief too. When a guy brings his first girlfriend home, his dad gives him a high five. You know what happens when a girl brings her "bf" home? Not just the dad's but even the mom's, a woman herself, blood pressure rises through the roof. When a woman is "active" in the dating scene, other women call her a skank, a wh**e, a s**t etc. When a man is, other guys call him a "player".

Bottom line: Women are judged differently than men. Not just in the Indian society, but all societies. Not just by men, by women themselves. Not just by conservatives but by liberal's too. Its not regressive thinking, its the only thinking. Is it right, I don't know, but it is true.

 

It is demeaning to us women because we are much more than just being the epitome of grace, modesty and what have you. This is not the 1950s anymore. Women don't have to be modest, graceful and relegated to baking cherry pie in the kitchen every afternoon. 

That in bold is a very, very broad generalization. I can speak from personal experience. My parents had no issues with me dating or introducing my ex-es to them. Other girls from my college had highly liberal parents as well. In fact, I know parents who worry if their daughter does not start dating in college. I don't even know anyone in my circle that calls other women skanks and wh**es for dating. Dating is a norm now, nobody bats an eyelid anymore.  I thought you lived in Canada so I am actually appalled that you come across such people in your area.Confused

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guess_wh0 IF-Dazzler

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
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Chameli_billi IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by guess_wh0

Originally posted by Dexterkilaila

Originally posted by guess_wh0

"Lajja aurat ka gehna hota hai"

First, why is this considered demeaning?

Secondly, having that belief is not regressive in any form. The most liberal and "modern" people will have that belief too. When a guy brings his first girlfriend home, his dad gives him a high five. You know what happens when a girl brings her "bf" home? Not just the dad's but even the mom's, a woman herself, blood pressure rises through the roof. When a woman is "active" in the dating scene, other women call her a skank, a wh**e, a s**t etc. When a man is, other guys call him a "player".

Bottom line: Women are judged differently than men. Not just in the Indian society, but all societies. Not just by men, by women themselves. Not just by conservatives but by liberal's too. Its not regressive thinking, its the only thinking. Is it right, I don't know, but it is true.

 

It is demeaning to us women because we are much more than just being the epitome of grace, modesty and what have you. This is not the 1950s anymore. Women don't have to be modest, graceful and relegated to baking cherry pie in the kitchen every afternoon. 

That in bold is a very, very broad generalization. I can speak from personal experience. My parents had no issues with me dating or introducing my ex-es to them. Other girls from my college had highly liberal parents as well. In fact, I know parents who worry if their daughter does not start dating in college. I don't even know anyone in my circle that calls other women skanks and wh**es for dating. Dating is a norm now, nobody bats an eyelid anymore.  I thought you lived in Canada so I am actually appalled that you come across such people in your area.Confused


Not really. It has nothing to do with Canada. White people do the same. They're protective about their daughters. I said highly "Active", which was a nicer way of saying ,sleeps around, gets around the block. What do you call a girl like that Dexy? Do you call her a player and give her props, like us guys do?



Just because she is active in the dating scene does not necessarily mean she is sleeping around with multiple men at the same time. Dating does not necessarily mean sex or relationships. It can just imply a simple dinner date or a night out at the club or just a first coffee meet. Well...of course if she/he is sleeping with 5 people in one night or sleeping with a different person each day, then that's another story...I'd call such a man a manwh**e and such a girl a skank. But your context wasn't that, you were talking about a girl bringing her date home. In that scenario, I don't know of any liberal person opposing it because no girl is stupid enough to bring a FWB home to meet her parents. She only brings someone she's serious with home to her parents. So I don't see why the parents' blood pressure would rise.  In fact, the parents would more likely be happy that the daughter is in a serious relationship with someone.  

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ilovetrashtv

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by TSakshi

Chandra ji,
Double -standard mentality for women by most of the Indian men is an existing tragedy of life. They would like a beautiful, extrovert, charming, flirting wife of a friend, but when it comes to their own wife, sister, daughter etc they want a docile woman. Not only men, but even regressive women have a hand in this.
Men always want to dictate to women ,how they want them to be. Thou shall be modest, thou shalt be a doormat, thou shalt not argue with me, thou shalt not...so on and so forth...

For my part, I had decided earlier on in my life that I will not succumb to this, and I have not.Smile

This was general, now where Siddhu ji is concerned, I would not really spend time on it, bcz he has been giving pravachans left, right and centre. He gets carried away and speaks more for the effect and drama. He already said to Salman yesterday, I regret standing by Sapna. There!!!!

Sapna is a free spirit and I am proud of her. I would love to have a friend like her.Big smile
I have never defended her actions in BB house, bcz I don't judge her. I simply like her. No reason, just that she has loads of guts to stand against the world and live life on her terms. I am sure men find her a threat.LOL
 
Now I Lost All respect for Siddhu. Dead
blackie IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Chandramukhi-



@Bold: ROFL

And thanks for your input. Your post is one of the posts which was looking for. You see we all lose our cool and swear or abuse or even get physical at times doesn't mean we should be bogged down by such stereotyped picture of a woman. I mean even if a woman is far from someone's perception, what right does he or she have to call her out and criticize her actions for the fact that she is a woman. Criticism should be done without involving any gender induced statements. If he had simply said that modesty is something that should be embraced or encouraged, I would be happy and would even have applauded him for criticizing Sapna's wrong actions. I even gave him benefit of doubt since he belongs to a different generation. But the issue on hand is still the stereotyping of man or woman. So hope people can come outta it and reject or modify such statements which sounds as ancient as my grandparents. Even my grandparents haven't used such generalization on me LOL

Thanks Chandramukhi. I could not overlook such statements and keep quiet. I felt empowered to speak up my mind. Like you said, it is one thing to criticize a person for his or her actions because they are wrong. It's another thing to criticize a person for his or her actions because that person happens to be woman. Being a woman does not translate into bearing the burden of being modest.

Hands off to your modesty for giving him the benefit of doubt as he belongs to a different generation. LOL I wouldn't have done that. Its sad that Siddhu said this on BB6, a show which is watched by millions in India. Such ancient statements should be buried and people should voice out their opinions against them.

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:25pm | IP Logged
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-Chandramukhi- IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:35pm | IP Logged
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