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Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? (Page 27)

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Martand

Originally posted by DejaVu.


Sidhu doesn't believe in Dignity of labor. He loves to be in Power/ In charge but hates it when he has to do some work which he finds demeaning. He doesn't mind Role playing as a politician or Major but he had problems role playing as a Ghulam. Their team was defeated because of that. 

Okay so what's so wrong in that...It is not a must for him to love doing all kind of chores...

He is not all perfect God..Only he has behaved in a much better way than all others.

What's wrong is that this proves he is egoistical. Aise logon ke muh see "modesty'," "humbleness," ki baatein bohut shallow lagte hain. If he has ego problems, then I suggest he remain that way. There is no need to preach others about being humble and accepting. 

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 2:22pm | IP Logged
"Lajja aurat ka gehna hai" is a phrase that has been a used by Indian societies for centuries. Most societies, by the virtue of their very existence, have been male-oriented. If you look at things from a Biblical perspective, it was the men who were supposed to the breadwinners. Women, on the other hand, were supposed to bring love to the household. Love, lajja, and other attributes of a similar kind were (and still are) highly associated with being a woman. If you were to ask me, I'd have taken it as a compliment, instead of a derogatory insult. Being miffed by peoples' statements and throwing tantrums around is a very easy thing to do. But to hold on to your dignity and self-respect in the most extenuating situations is a very hard endeavor to accomplish. I find it more respectable to be that way than being vociferous and all over the place.

I don't know about the other guys around, but I do get turned on by women who exhibit a sense of shame and modesty. For me, it adds to their style statement. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't consider a woman who is loud and obnoxious. Everyone gets a chance. It's, however, those who appeal to you the most that get the preference. Trust me, lajja isn't anything to be ashamed of;  it is a beautiful thing. I would always love a woman [my wife, to say the least] who portrays grace in her character. As again, it's such a turn on. Smile

Just my two cents worth. Thank you.
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 2:33pm | IP Logged
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Chandramukhi-



@bold: That's exactly the issue here and the statement itself isn't something that is said casually as a compliment. It goes way beyond that. A statement like this has been imposed on women if they were to stand out or raise their voice. Objection has been raised not because we do not like anyone being modest, the objection has been raised when such statement are used to set boundaries for people who like to break the bondage and come out of the typical perception of the society. Use of such statements and perception of the society is one of the reasons why girls get the worse end of it when they try to speak up or be different.

And Roshan, the context in which Siddhu used the statement is anything but a compliment. From a guys POV, you are allowed to see it as a compliment or something you look for in girls. But as a girl, I would dislike use of such statements especially if used in situation like Sapna. No one should criticize me for being loud or use of foul language because I am a girl. Criticism should be for wrong actions but it shouldn't be because I belong to a different gender.

P.S: Grace and modesty is something I look for in guys as well.


Well, it was obvious that Sidhu was talking from a social standpoint. So what's wrong with that? Yes, I do agree that the virtues of grace and modesty apply to men equally, as I would myself detest any male who would come across as clamorous and obnoxious in their physical approach. However, since Sidhu was put on a pedestal by none other Sapna herself, he dared to have the effrontery to say that out loud. Anyway, I don't want to deviate from the topic here. What I feel is, she was called out on by Sidhu, keeping in mind her constant uncivil tantrums that she had been throwing around. I mean, come on, she's had a tiff with almost everyone in the house. Who really was spared under her radar? She isn't a bad person, as she knows what she has to do with her life. I appreciate her for being a self-made individual. But hey, that was her preoperative; that was her call; and those were her efforts. No one gained anything out of her being the way that she is.

The deal is simple - if you coexist in a society with people of different backgrounds and dispositions, it is your tacit responsibility to respect and show humility towards them. You cannot be "yourself" all the time. That is what happened in Sapna's case. I do not appreciate Sidhu for his double-standards either. But honestly speaking, calling him names like coward and what not was very uncalled for. She'd crossed the line there. As for the lajja part, I still feel women shouldn't be offended when associated with it. If at all, women should consider themselves fortunate to have that lajja tag to be majorly associated with them. They should cherish it. It's more or less an honorable title than just a price tag of sorts.

Thank you. Smile




Edited by -Xaffron- - 10 November 2012 at 3:01pm
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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 2:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Chandramukhi-

Grace and modesty is something I look for in guys as well, it doesn't have anything to do with gender. Guys are stereotyped being aggressive and expected to use foul language. So if I see someone who reflects just the opposite, I am not going to come around and say "Hey, you are supposed to act like a guy who should roll with aggression and swear words" No, I am not going to do that, instead I will be in awe of that person for being different. So you see the dichotomy here. That's why I dislike stereotypical image of man and woman in our society. Instead of this division on how a man or woman should act, wouldn't it be better if a moral set of values are to be expected outta any individual regardless of the gender. If Siddhu had said "Modesty is the ornament of any human" that statement itself creates a different impact on audience who are so used to hearing stereotypical statements from people. And when I say this I am in no way ignoring the physical inequality which are bound to be different in any gender.


My dear, lajja aurat ka gehna hai is an actual phrase. Sidhu didn't make it up on the spot. It wasn't an impromptu thing. It's an actual phrase or saying, generally accepted by textbooks and journals.

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Posted: 10 November 2012 at 3:03pm | IP Logged
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