Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!


Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!
Bigg Boss Season 6 : Alag Che!

Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? (Page 14)

-Chandramukhi- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 21 October 2004
Posts: 12524

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 11:23am | IP Logged

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doyelpakhi Goldie

Joined: 22 February 2006
Posts: 2268

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 11:27am | IP Logged
@Mithibani.. loved your post too! Clap

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Martand IF-Dazzler

Joined: 11 September 2007
Posts: 3399

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
waise lajja hone me burai kya hai...

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jay8383 Senior Member

Joined: 01 October 2008
Posts: 397

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:20pm | IP Logged
it never ceases to amaze me how people are lead into beleiving in the male-female equality Chit,most people don't know one inch about gender differentiation and start to talk out of their washed-up hats at length,Get this-they are similar in a few areas and quite different in few others,go figure.equality and competition in few fields is somthing,aiming to dismiss your estrogen with that sword hung up your head by a hair and try imitating testasterone pumped ups is something else again.
LeadNitrate IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 28 March 2007
Posts: 14663

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:20pm | IP Logged

^^burai hain is baat main ke pre conceived notion of lajja. Modesty and shy ness are a personal choice, not what someone will define and codify.

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return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 24198

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:50pm | IP Logged

Thought tangent rant ahead….


The problem I have with feminism is that even though it claims to seek equality between men and women, it stems from the cultural notion of male dominance or machismo. We have the gender stereotypes, women are the homemakers, men are the breadwinners, women are soft, shy, weak, submissive, men are tough, outgoing, strong and aggressive etc. Feminism said that gender stereotypes are wrong, even women can be breadwinners, women can also be tough, outgoing, strong and aggressive. And feminism has been successful to a certain extent in fighting for equality. Women receive education and have successful careers. Strong assertive women who express themselves are recognized and admired.


While feminism succeeded to a certain extent, I think it had severe negative consequences as well. What happened is that women were not just rejecting female stereotypes, they were painting them as undesirable. A lot of culturally "feminine" qualities are looked down on. It became OK for women to emulate 'masculine' qualities, but society still tends to find 'feminine' qualities degrading.


Men who are involved with their children, take time to change their diapers, put them to bed, read stories, play teatime with their girls, take time off or try to work at home are considered by many to be henpecked, whipped and looked down upon as if child rearing is a degrading job reserved for women. Similarly men who cook, clean, do household chores, go shopping are teased as if homemaking is degrading labor. Men who are interested in hobbies like baking, knitting, sewing, scrapbooking, poetry etc are laughed at for being effeminate or gay. Similarly vanity, concern about looking good, spending time on picking outfits, using makeup to hide blemishes and enhance features is also considered effeminate or gay. Men who cry, are shy, or have submissive personalities are chided for acting like girls, as if feminine behavior is insulting.


I don't think "social" equality can ever be achieved until the whole perception of "masculine" and "feminine" qualities, behaviors and hobbies ends and we just view them as "human" qualities, behaviors, hobbies etc – some good, some bad. All humans want to be free, live and dress, how they want. Gender shouldn't dictate career choices or family choices, but individual personality and desires. If a quality is bad, it is bad for all humans. If a quality is good, it is bad for all humans. That is why to me personally equality is not about erasing gender roles and stereotypes rather than compensating for the past or trying to grant special rights and privileges.  And I'm talking of "social" equality not "physical" equality. There are definitely some traits dictated by biological differences – but overall behavior is a product of society, culture and our own thought process – not by the penis or vagina.

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-Purva- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 16 December 2010
Posts: 4587

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:52pm | IP Logged
How a person behaves depends on their individual environment, social group and upbringing. There is nothing gender-specific about it. The same men who would say stuff like "Lajaa naari ka shringaar hai" would think nothing about the reports coming out of UP/Haryana/Delhi/Rajasthan/Bengal would they?

Yet how a woman conducts herself - esp. an educated, empowered woman in public eye - would have a lot of bearing on other women across the nation. There would be reactions right now like 

"Did you hear she wants to cut her hair short, we have another Sapna in making"  

"Aapki beti tattoo banwana chahti hai, bas ab sapna ki tarah gaaliyan dena baaki hai".

If Sapna is in the house to give a message, right now she is giving absolutely the wrong kind of message and hampering her own cause. 

Why it should be conduct of men vs. conduct of women debate I have no idea. 

Edited by Chitrashi - 09 November 2012 at 12:52pm

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MithiBani IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 24 March 2006
Posts: 46244

Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Martand

waise lajja hone me burai kya hai...
Burai nahin hai. Par har aurat se lajja expect karna galat hai. Ki yeh aurat hai toh lajja compulsory hai. Voh galat hai.

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