Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? - Page 34

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

@Cruiser

 

I have to say I am surprised and actually quite disappointed that you stooped low into questioning "likes" and the age old "women have it in for men" argument. Of all the people on IF, I really didn't expect this from you. I used to think you were amidst the mature and reasonable guys.

 

Now I have not been in other threads, but in this specific thread I do have some problems with your line of reasoning. I definitely don't think you are saying the same thing as I did. There is a  difference between "men have expectations too, deal with it" and "men have expectations too, and some of those are unfair as well". Now perhaps you don't mean to frame it as "deal with it" but it comes across that way. You also seem to be focusing on the "words" saying you have been called "asheel" as well. But you appear to miss the point that the point is not about Sapna being called "asheel" or lacking "lajja". The point is that her criticism was framed around her being a woman.

 

That being said I do agree that sometimes women get a bit  too passionate and carried away in gender equality debates. It is not that we are biased against men, dislike men or want some sort of vengeance. It is difficult being a woman, especially an Indian (desi) woman. There are a lot of frustrations, desperations and hurt emotions. I won't go into details. But the point is, you don't have to agree with us or our perspectives, but a little bit of empathy can go a very long way. And yes, perhaps we can do more to try and understand the male point of view. But cribbing and complaining really is not the way. Unless you are conspiring to get back at women for all the time we crib and whine and nag. 😛

 

Yes, the last sentence was a gender stereotype against women. 😆

but u cant blame only man  for gender diffrance issue  bcs i saw many women    also doing this with other woman  ...i  mean people think  that only men   ki thinking asi hoti hai     but mainey  kayi ladkio ko   dusri ladkoi pe comment kartey dekha   jinkey acco      unka drssing style kesa  hona chahiye  , bolna chaahiye     ,  with their husband kese behave karna chahiye    ...most of the time    women asey   points deti hai     even on  boyfriends issue also    jo bahot   stereotype hotey hain   but when khud pe baat aati hai to  same girls ke saarey rule change    ho jaatey hai    , so i can see clearly doublestandard here    girls ki side se bhi

Originally posted by: chochokamurabba

but u cant blame only man  for gender diffrance issue  bcs i saw many women    also doing this with other woman  ...i  mean people think  that only men   ki thinking asi hoti hai     but mainey  kayi ladkio ko   dusri ladkoi pe comment kartey dekha   jinkey acco      unka drssing style kesa  hona chahiye  , bolna chaahiye     ,  with their husband kese behave karna chahiye    ...most of the time    women asey   points deti hai     even on  boyfriends issue also    jo bahot   stereotype hotey hain   but when khud pe baat aati hai to  same girls ke saarey rule change    ho jaatey hai    , so i can see clearly doublestandard here    girls ki side se bhi

 

Did I ever blame men for gender stereotypes? I said it was a problem in society. Society includes both genders and people of all backgrounds. I've even acknowledged that men are treated unfairly sometimes due to gender stereotypes.

I'm not sure what your point is in listing all this in response to my post. Makes no sense, because I've not displayed double standards nor have I stereotyped/blamed only men  😕

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Did I ever blame men for gender stereotypes? I said it was a problem in society. Society includes both genders and people of all backgrounds. I've even acknowledged that men are treated unfairly sometimes due to gender stereotypes.

I'm not sure what your point is in listing all this in response to my post. Makes no sense, because I've not displayed double standards nor have I stereotyped/blamed only men  😕

Originally posted by: chochokamurabba

no no  ...i said  many girls shows dublestandard ...that doublestandard point was not for u 

Ok. Sorry, I was confused that you thought i was blaming men and having double standard.  😆

Originally posted by: chochokamurabba

but u cant blame only man  for gender diffrance issue  bcs i saw many women    also doing this with other woman  ...i  mean people think  that only men   ki thinking asi hoti hai     but mainey  kayi ladkio ko   dusri ladkoi pe comment kartey dekha   jinkey acco      unka drssing style kesa  hona chahiye  , bolna chaahiye     ,  with their husband kese behave karna chahiye    ...most of the time    women asey   points deti hai     even on  boyfriends issue also    jo bahot   stereotype hotey hain   but when khud pe baat aati hai to  same girls ke saarey rule change    ho jaatey hai    , so i can see clearly doublestandard here    girls ki side se bhi

 

I'll have to agree with you on that. Women do practice a lot of double-standards and it has been evident time and over again. I suspect the thread to go berserk, the moment I open my mouth. 😆
Edited by -Xaffron- - 11 years ago

I had written in one of the pages a long time back, a lot of time it is meant what is said I very strongly disagree to such sexist statements. I even object to the statement per say as well. Just an example a person is not man enough to face a situation or Aurton ki tarah chugli karta hai etc.

Originally posted by: kaushikbasu

I had written in one of the pages a long time back, a lot of time it is meant what is said I very strongly disagree to such sexist statements. I even object to the statement per say as well. Just an example a person is not man enough to face a situation or Aurton ki tarah chugli karta hai etc.

True. But bro, our society has always been like that. We can't help it. To be compared to men is considered superior, and to be compared to a woman; demeaning. No idea where this BS emerged from in our culture.

I think men and women both are often unfair to their own gender.

 

Many women target other women for being unladylike, not dressing and acting like a proper woman, being too crude for a woman etc.

 

Similarly many men target other men for being unmanly, not dressing and acting like a proper man, being too soft for a man etc.

Both behaviors are unfair and should be discouraged.

Originally posted by: -Xaffron-

I'll have to agree with you on that. Women do practice a lot of double-standards and it has been evident time and over again. I suspect the thread to go berserk, the moment I open my mouth. 😆

exjectaly xaffron  ,   mainey girls ko  girls ke liye hi bahot shamful  comments kartey huye dekha hai ,    i mean not only man ,women also     wrong thinking  rakhti hai ,    if a girl is widow  n koi ussey merrige karta hai    then   asey show kiya jaata hai like bahot bada ahsaan kiya ho  n mostly asa show karney vaali aurtey  hi hoti hai  , espacially if  ye  sab karney vala unka family member , friend , cousin     ho      tab tou doble standard pucho hi mat    koi chance  nhi choda jata   ahsaan dikhaaney ka

Originally posted by: -Xaffron-

True. But bro, our society has always been like that. We can't help it. To be compared to men is considered superior, and to be compared to a woman; demeaning. No idea where this BS emerged from in our culture.

Not only in our society but this is evident accross different cultures in the World. There are historical and evolutionary reasons behind that but we are not in those times when these statements used to be true. We should come out of the shackles and prejudices.