Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? - Page 28

Originally posted by: -Chandramukhi-

🤣 Sorry but you story cracked me up.

And people still think all we are doing is baat ka batangad banana 🤪

Anyways, such stereotypes are funny and sad from many angles as we already saw it from your experience. I mean living in Manhattan and you are still being judged on how you should dress. I can't imagine what such stereotypes would do to some girls living in the rural area or even urban. It's sad that people aren't seeing what such generalization and perception of a society can do for many girls. It's very easy to defend someone and interpret as per the convenience of what a statement like it might have meant. But only the girls who really do get affected are the ones will realize the hollowness of such stereotypes. Domestic violence can be related back to the same perception of woman who isn't allowed to speak up but remain docile and meek. It's very easy for some to call such discussion meaningless when they have no freaking clue of what we are talking about.

So I hope such old age stereotypes get discarded or modified when they don't do nothing but suppress someone's freedom or voice.

Originally posted by: saitan

I had never expected such a behavior from an American women who is born and raised in the most "liberal" country of the world. So if such a word comes from a man in India, it is not at all surprising...

Exactly and when he is someone who is trying to make an impression on a society and thus even if he believes it or not, simply goes with the flow and adds this outdated stereotype.

And such stereotypes aren't only present in Indian society. They are present through out many cultures and countries. I am not saying we will be able to fight everyone of them or that we aren't part of it ourselves. But only when you question and try to bring the adequate changes, we can progress forward with our thought process. Imagine people not having questioned some of the most old traditions, we would still be leaving in that old era with no evolution in our mentality. So it all starts by questioning and making the changes even if that change is like a drop of water in the Sea 😃
Edited by -Chandramukhi- - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: cruiser51

Had Niketan did bad-tameezi of Sapna kind, Sidhu might have said SANSKAAR hi Purush ki asli viraasat hain, Foohadta aur ashleelta Mardangi pe dhabba lagaate hain!😊

The day a man is lectured for lack of "sanskaar" and told that "asheelta" is a "dhabba" on "mardangi". I'll print this post and eat it.

[QUOTE=cruiser51]

hum aapko sirf charan chhoo ke, Respects hi denge😊...

Itni zaida izzat bhi nahi nawazni chahiye!

Aap Guru Ho, Hum Shishya hain aur Shishya hamesha apni maryaadaon se bandha rahega😛...Shame on you bolo, disgusting bolo jo marzi bolo!!!! 😆

Mein teh aisa kuchh vi nahin aakhya marjanaya!
Haha...no he didn't lie to me! Believe you me I was a good enough cricketer with enough sense to know I had knocked his middle and off!

GOOD for you! Sorry I misread your post!

But for my Engineering line that sucked me out of cricket, I would have been playing Ranji Trophy, if not for strong teams like Delhi-Punjab, surely for Himachal / Haryana.

HARYANA!! I have vested interests!

 I got him Madam...trust me!

I DO! Just NOT your judgment about NSS!!

 One day when we meet in Delhi, Insha-Allah, you will have  a look at my shields and Trophies, right from kid level and up to Rohinton Baria Trophy level (thats Inter-University Championships)!...Chalo Chhaddo...😛

I do hope that will happen! 

I DO know about RB Trophy-TRUST ME!

Like all Indians,I was an avid follower of the game till the advent of T20

No point over thinking too much on this one.

So I'll just stop  here & not address any more of your fulminations!!!!

I DID notice you haven't countered a single point I raised in any of my reply posts!Flattery will get you only SO far!!!! 

HUNN BUSS!!

Come on...baat ka batangad banana is this. If not, what else?😆

OKAY!!

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

The day a man is lectured for lack of "sanskaar" and told that "asheelta" is a "dhabba" on "mardangi". I'll print this post and eat it.

Originally posted by: -Chandramukhi-

@bold: Not everyone thinks the same. Some were actually proud of him and I am sure after using such aurat ka gahena comment, many ladies and men must have applauded him especially those who do not like the way Sapna is seen in the house. And just cuz someone makes a mistake of using wrong words or for having such thought process doesn't negate any positive or good qualities of a contestant, at least for people like me.

As for the rest, let's not generalize. Not everyone does that. Few people go overboard with name calling. Personally, I will call someone bully or arrogant or cry baby or boring or spineless if he or she is acting like one for my standards and I am sure the same applies to many others. Few names are for fun like mine Sadhu baba or Fevicol aunty or like Cruiser's constipated Niketan. But there are few who loves using messed up and insulting tags. So I wouldn't go that far. I am sure people have their own reasons for liking or disliking a contestant. As for BB most don't like boring contestants, everyone is always in the mood of masala. And I am giving you a serious answer here since we are having a serious discussion 😉

Edited by scofield - 11 years ago

I fail to see so much hue and cry over the word Lajja. I think this word has been overanalysed, dissected, overdiagnosed or I would rather say misdiagnosed and overstretched on this thread.Lajja taken the word literally to dress modestly is applied on both genders at least from the place I come from. Both men and women are expected to dress conservatively in work place. Here a CEO irrespective of gender can be fired from job if he/she comes in shorts and flip-flops and tatoos to work. However it's no big deal for someone to wear the same on beaches or night clubs.

I feel there are bigger stereotypes that need to be addressed than lajja that affects us daily.Women "Take Care," Men "Take Charge:" stereotypes affects women being alloted any leadership roles, the bias that women are not commited to work as much as men, cannot spend long hours in work,women are reluctant to relocate for career, woman lack quantitative skills( finance) etc are bigger stereotypes that affect us daily in our career. What say?

 

As for Sadhu baba's quote which has often come untimely and inappropriately on number of occasions before. I hardly pay attention to them.Again about tatooed middle age woman Sapna and her immature behavior..I simply can't relate to her. And once again I do apologize for bringing these two contestants. Edited by saloni111 - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: saloni111

I fail to see so much hue and cry over the word Lajja. I think this word has been overanalysed, dissected, overdiagnosed or I would rather say misdiagnosed and overstretched on this thread. That is your perception and you are most welcome to it. For me it is about the stereotype and it's rippling effect on the society in general. Copying and Pasting my comment since I don't wanna repeat the same again.

"Girls who really do get affected are the ones who can realize and relate to the hollowness of such stereotypes. Domestic violence can also be connected and routed back to the same perception of woman who isn't allowed to speak up but remain docile and meek. Girls with strong personality can fight against such perception and might not let it affect their lives, but what happens to those who either lack that strong personality or can't act against the society. They are the ones who will be at the receiving end of such societal pressure."

There are deeper issues because of such societal picturization of women and it is the by product of such stereotypical statement which we get to see in media and even in our personal lives.

Lajja taken the word literally to dress modestly is applied on both genders at least from the place I come from. Both men and women are expected to dress conservatively in work place. Here a CEO irrespective of gender can be fired from job if he/she comes in shorts and flip-flops and tatoos to work. However it's no big deal for someone to wear the same on beaches or night clubs. This is again your perception and a part of what that statement means to me. My issue with Aurat = gahena = lajja has deeper layers.

I feel there are bigger stereotypes that need to be addressed than lajja that affects us daily.Women "Take Care," Men "Take Charge:" stereotypes affects women being alloted any leadership roles, the bias that women are not commited to work as much as men, cannot spend long hours in work,women are reluctant to relocate for career, woman lack quantitative skills( finance) etc are bigger stereotypes that affect us daily in our career. What say? Sure these are some of the common stereotypes and worth every discussion. And you are most welcome to give it a kick start and we shall follow with our inputs.

 

As for Sadhu baba's quote which has often come untimely and inappropriately on number of occasions before. I hardly pay attention to them.Again about tatooed middle age woman Sapna and her immature behavior..I simply can't relate to her. And once again I do apologize for bringing these two contestants. I have said this many times on this thread, so I am surprised to see this from your end. It isn't about these two and nor do I care if such a statement had come outta Niketan or Vrajesh's mouth, I would have still opened this topic. My issue with stereotypes has nothing to do with any contestant. So I won't reply here

Thanks for your input. Stereotypes are and will be present. Only thing I am hoping is for some of the outdated ones to be discarded for a better picturization of a society.
Edited by -Chandramukhi- - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: scofield

Okay here i might disagree to a little extent. I completely agree in this male dominated society that seldom happens but to say its unheard of would be untrue. 

I have seen it in many families and been lectured on it by my grandparents. See a family with all the ethics would inculcalate those values in their children regardless of gender.

I don't think she means that guys don't get lectured on sanskaar or morals. Read her second half. For girls ashleelta is a dhabba on womanhood, but I highly doubt such a statement even exist for guys where people will go "You are ashleel and you are a dhabba to manhood" But for girls such a statement does exist and media is proof enough of it.