Lajja = Modesty = Women ?? - Page 5

i thinik its not anti sadhu baba thread🥱  Edited by Be.A.Rebel - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: --GODFATHER--

I think SINCE he was talking about  SAPNA -----he gave that example of LAJJA being ornament of WOMEN -----

SIMILARLY if he was talking about KASHIF per say ----he would probably use another example that tells MEN should be MODEST _-@  In the PAST == he  was educating KASHIF as well many times, so i don't think it is a case of gender discrimination @ -

I think the ultimate motive was to make sapnaa understand where she went wrong @ ----/  

@bold: I still do not agree with the use of such statement to criticize her actions because he is making it seem like a gender discrimination, to me at least. I am not saying he isn't wrong with condemning her actions. But I do not support the use of "Lajja" to get his point across.

Edited by -Chandramukhi- - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: *king*

 

Sampat told the housemates especially the women that they shud discuss on pro-women topics. But no one listened. She clearly told Sapna once but woh patli gali se nikal gayi. All Sapna did was wearing the pink saree in the worst possible way.

 

Coming to the Topic, I don't think modesty is something only women or men need to have.For that matter nor are honesty, gutsy, compassion etc. gender specific.

 

PS: Lekin sharmaana toh ladkiyon pe hi accha lagta hain😛. You are free to disagree.

 

*king*

I agree with Siddhu pointing out Sapna's mistakes and he was right in saying that shouting and this sort of behaviour in general is not women empowerment. That is a valid point. I did, however have reservations with the "lajja" comment and it's frustrating to hear such things because women are constantly stuck with these kind of labels- be it "sharm," "hayaa" "maryada" etc etc. Personally I feel that lajja also applies to the male gender and that men should  behave within the boundaries of decency themselves. I do not think that there should be a separate line of thinking depending on the gender. Zamana bahut badal gaya hai. Yes there are people that still choose to differentiate between the two sexes but I don't see any difference between them. Once you begin to highlight differences, you automatically handicap one gender, and give more power to the other.

Now coming to Siddhu. I didn't like the use of the word but I will give him the benefit of doubt because he doesn't seem to be a man with dhakia noosi khayalaat. That is the impression that I got of him in the house.  I think it was the wrong choice of word and I'm hoping that Siddhu does not hold this line of thought. It would be rather disappointing. Perhaps he did not mean it in a negative sense but it didn't sound right when he said it!
Btw, interesting topic, Chandu. Good for discussion :)
Edited by -Rafa- - 11 years ago

What is the meaning of lajja for you guys?

Originally posted by: khamosshhh

Ah ok. I do agree tht the onus of "lajja" does not lie solely on the woman and it's not a woman's prerogative, but Sidhu saying tht too isn't wrong coz he is like a patriach in a patriacal society and however much we may want to deny it, India is a predominantly patriarcal society. Also as u said CM, he does belong to a previous generation.

 

It's like with my parents there was a line that was drawn between me and my brother on the basis of gender as that was their way of thinking and I don't blame them. But I don't do tht with my son and daughter and bringing them a equal genders as that's how my thinking has evolved.

Thank you for making this point about Patriarchal society. And that's where my issue lies. I have seen women get tagged by "Lajja" in order to suppress their voice. And this isn't about BB. Estel already made good points on how such cliched image of women can make one not speak up for their rights.

Someone belonging to older generation is understandable and I do not have any complains. But it doesn't mean we should accept whatever is being stamped on to us even if it is something we do not agree with. And hats off to you for trying to make the required changes in your family.

Originally posted by: divinity11

What is the meaning of lajja for you guys?

   

A woman is expected to be well behaved,not using abusive language,not wearing revealing clothes,respecting elders...

   

Are these bad things to be expected?

God has given the power of giving birth to women and not to men...she has to bear all the pain & suffering not just while giving birth but even after that she has the major responsibility of rearing her kids and yes giving them good values...

  so God Himself is chauvinistic...

 everyone is free to behave however one wants to...but there is one more difference...good and bad

  can these differences be vanished

are not they stereotyped too

  so whats the big deal

we are in such times where we can do what ever we want to,wear whatever we want to,free to use foul language or not...society has changed a lot...but still we can't get out of our house naked, can we?

 

Originally posted by: tere_mere

 

@red: I disagree with u there! ---well behaved,not using abusive language,not wearing revealing clothes,respecting elders...---- I suppose I expect the same from a man as well!..I surely dont want to c any1 abusing , disrespecting elders or even younger ones. As far as Clothes are Concerned--> I suppose I am NOBODY to tell any1 else how to dress up! A man & a Woman (and any1 else for that matter ) are Free to decide for themselves as to how to dress up!!!

 

Somehow this dressing up & covering urself coz ur a woman reeks of that thought system which proclaims that women should not wear jeans or skrits or western wear etc..coz that provokes men to rape them!! BAHHH!😡😡

 

I suppose Dressing Up is a very personal thing and should be best left for the person themselves to decide!

very good post lovely 👏

@divinity11: Where I live (UK) a man cannot leave the house naked either because he will be arrested for streaking or indecent behaviour in public 😆 again, not much difference between the two genders :P

Anyway, I understand your POV but I do not agree with where you are taking the argument. It's going off-track. And I think you are over-simplifying the actual point of discussion.

My main point is that lajja should be accepted from men also. Good behaviour and remaining within the boundaries of decency should be applied to the male gender as well. One cannot expect it from women only because then you are basically saying that women are the weaker sex!
Edited by -Rafa- - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: divinity11

What is the meaning of lajja for you guys?

   

A woman is expected to be well behaved,not using abusive language,not wearing revealing clothes,respecting elders...

   

Are these bad things to be expected?

God has given the power of giving birth to women and not to men...she has to bear all the pain & suffering not just while giving birth but even after that she has the major responsibility of rearing her kids and yes giving them good values...

  so God Himself is chauvinistic...

 everyone is free to behave however one wants to...but there is one more difference...good and bad

  can these differences be vanished

are not they stereotyped too

  so whats the big deal

we are in such times where we can do what ever we want to,wear whatever we want to,free to use foul language or not...society has changed a lot...but still we can't get out of our house naked, can we?

 

@Bold Hmmm I do not see how that is relevant with the point I am making. May be you can elaborate a bit if you think it is relevant.

There is nothing wrong in being a good person with good manners. And even I preach that. But it bothers me when I hear such stereotyped images for both gender: Women should be modest, shy and meek while men should act like one, aggressive with testosterone riding high. Again these are generalizations and not many agree with them. But this has been thrown at us time to time from various angels, from media to TV soaps to movies.

Sapna's actions are her burden and nothing wrong if she wants to change herself. But why does she need to be condemned for her actions for being a woman. Is it because she doesn't fit within the usual perception of an Indian woman or is it because she is reflecting a different shade of a woman. I don't think women can be categorized with a statement like that since there are many shades to women including aggression and violence which includes the use of foul language.

@red: In complete disagreement here. Again it should apply to both genders.



Edited by -Chandramukhi- - 11 years ago