It all started with 300 Rupees Chapter 32 Thread 5

 

It all started with 300 Rupees

(IASW300R)

Edited by karmachameleon - 11 years ago

Congrats on the new thread!

This. Is. Just. The. Beginning.


Edited by ananya123 - 11 years ago

It all started with 300 Rupees 31

 

 

Maybe

 

Duration: 10 weeks.

Name: Baby Raizada.

Type: First trimester Ultrasound.

 

Dated almost three years back''.

 

He was still holding that black and white picture, in those numb hands. His eyes stayed glued to that indistinguishable smudge which was supposed to be his child, their child, the memory of their first night. The first time they became one. The symbol of their union. That blurry glossy picture.

 

It had no color.

It had no shape.

It had no form.

 

It was blurry.

It was faded.

It was fuzzy.

 

Yet''..

 

It had the memory.

It had the pain.

It had the suffering.

It was there.

It was the past.

It was the present.

 

It was haunting.

Her. Him. Their past. Their present. Maybe their future.

 

That one black and white blurry picture said so much more than what she had ever said in these past few weeks.

 

That one black and white unclear picture held him responsible for more than she had ever blamed him in these past few weeks.

 

That one black and white faded picture generated another level of guilt, for him, for her, for their relationship, for their loss.

 

Their loss.

 

 A loss that was irreplaceable. A loss that she had been dealing with all alone for this long'..

 

A loss that he never knew about.

 

Until now.

 

Their loss.

 

He sat there staring at that picture for god knows how long. Not realizing when tears had taken over his strong eyes'..

Not realizing that he had forgotten everything else around him'..

Not realizing that maybe he wasn't as strong as he thought he was'..

 

That's when he felt her hand on his''.

 

And a drop of his pain spread on her hand''.

 

He looked up and saw his wife. His Khushi. A woman who had gone through so much, all alone. Because of him. All this was his fault. He looked at her with those apologetic eyes.

Before she could say anything, a knock interrupted their painful moment'.

"Khushi? Are you up? Aashna is crying. She is looking for you."

She quickly wiped her tears, got off the bed and opened the door. Naina spoke "Khushi'..I tried putting her back to sleep but she is crying''she is looking for you'.."

Khushi didn't say anything. She just quietly opened the door wider and left the room. Naina just stood there watching her walk alone.

He was alone in that room now. Just by himself and that haunting picture. He didn't even know what to think anymore. What to say anymore. What to do anymore.

She had already informed him about that. He knew about it already. But now it was actually there. Right in front of him. In his hand.

A physical proof of their loss.

There was no denying it anymore.

No running away anymore.

The picture remained in his hand, now tightly closed inside his fist. He got up and walked towards Aashna's room to check on her. Them.

The door was open. He walked in. Naina wasn't there. Aashna was sleeping on her lap and Khushi had her head resting on the head board with her eyes closed. He walked closer and touched her hair. She opened her eyes with his touch.

"Is she fine?" He asked.

"Yes''I think she just had a nightmare or maybe she is pain'..she is sleeping again'.." replied Khushi.

"Do you need anything?" He asked looking around''

 

Part B Continues'..

Edited by karmachameleon - 11 years ago

It all started with 300 Rupees

B

                                                                              

 

Maybe

 

"No…..you can go back to the room…..I will join you soon…..whenever she sleeps…….don't wait on me……you can sleep…..if you want……" She spoke in a soft voice trying not to disturb her.

He moved his eyes to see Aashna, she was already sleeping. He didn't say anything. Khushi spoke "I think she is sleeping already. Can you fix her pillow…..let me put her down……"

He fixed her pillow. Khushi placed her on the bed and covered her with blanket. She got off the bed, turned the night lamp on and said "let's go, she is sleeping now."

They both walked out of the room together and closed the door behind. Khushi told Naina "she is sleeping now. I don't think she will be up before morning. You can go to sleep too. Okay?" She nodded in reply.

Khushi walked back to her room with him and closed the door. There was an awkward silence in that room. He looked at her. She looked at him. Their eyes spoke on their own.

She walked to him and held his hand. The same hand where he was still holding their loss. He stood still. She held his fist in between her both palms. Squeezing it. Hard. Harder.

They both looked at each other. She said "I am sorry for taking this out……I….was just……I don't know why…….I took it out….I was just….."

She wasn't even done talking when he pulled her in……

 

Not to embrace her…..

Not to support her……

Not to comfort her…..

 

BUT

 

To comfort himself……

To support himself…….

To be held…..

By her……..

 

It's the first time she felt him needing her……

It's the first time he definitely needed her….

 

She heard "Khushi……"

And that's it. She hugged him. Tight. Very tight.

 

They had hugged many times…..

For her…..

For him…..

For themselves…..

For their past……

For their present…….

Even for the future……

 

For all the apologies……

For all the tears…..

For all the pain…….

For all the regret…..

For all the remorse….

For EVERYTHING…….

 

But today was different……..

 

This was entirely different feeling…….

 

A loss that could not be explained. A loss that couldn't be replaced.

A loss that happened long time back. Yet seemed like yesterday.

A loss that was hers. A loss that was his. A loss that was theirs. Their loss.

 

A loss that they had never spoken about properly…….

A loss that they had never grieved about properly…….

A loss that they had never cried for……

Properly……….

Together……

 

And that's what they did…..

Today……

 

It was first time she was holding him……

It was the first time she was supporting him…….

It was the first time she was consoling him……..

It was the first time she was embracing him…….

 

How he needed her today!

How he relied on her today!

How he was dependent on her today!

How he didn't want to let her go today!

 

Two hollow hearts……….

Trying to fill that unspoken emptiness within……

With each other………

For each other……..

 

She finally spoke "are you okay Arnav ji?"

He was still holding her……

Or, she was holding him…..

 

Part C Continues……

 

Edited by karmachameleon - 11 years ago

It all started with 300 Rupees 

C

 

Maybe

 

He replied "how are you so strong Khushi?"

She broke the hug and held his hand, this time she pulled him to the bed and sat him down…..

She replied "life has made me what I am Arnav ji but I am definitely not strong. If I was that strong then I wouldn't be up in the middle of the night to see……"

She didn't complete her sentence…..

He looked down and spoke in low voice "how did it happ……?"

He stopped. He looked up to see her face. Her eyes were closed again and tears were rolling down her face. He quickly cupped her face and said "I am sorry Khushi. You don't have to answer that. I didn't mean to remind you of all that……"

Before he could even finish talking, she crashed herself on his chest and held onto him. He embraced her with all his strength, all his guilt and all his love. She wasn't crying anymore. She stayed like that for a while and then she moved back and said….

"It was…….that day….."

He interrupted "no Khushi, you don't have to talk about it. I shouldn't have asked you……I know…..it must be painful for you to talk about all that…."

She replied "you have a right to know…….it was your baby………too."

She held his hand, the same hand that had that picture, and continued talking….

"I know it has been a long time but I can't forget it, I can't get myself to come out of it……..I can't forgive myself for that……..never."

He squeezed her hand and replied "Khushi, it wasn't your fault. It can't be your fault. How can you even think about blaming yourself for this? I am sorry for asking you about this to begin with……"

She looked up to see his face, his repentant face, his contrite eyes, his apologetic look……

She spoke "I would like to tell you…….you should know…….about that day……I blame myself because I was not taking care of myself as I should have……I….was just not in my senses……before I even knew about my pregnancy……I didn't eat on time……I didn't eat at all until Nidhi forced me to…..I couldn't even get myself to wake up and get out of bed……let alone eating or doing anything at all…….I….."

Her eyes filled up again, trying very hard not to cry but couldn't control her tears. She quickly wiped her tears and continued "I used to just sit in this very room……crying…….hopeless………senseless……..depressed………no matter how much I tried…….I couldn't stop thinking about you……us…..our broken relationship…….our contract marriage…….our six months……..our separation……I was so depressed that all I did was cry…….all the time……I was already weak to begin with……..Nidhi did whatever she could do……but she was working as well and Naina was always busy with Aashna…….I used to spend most of the time in this room……..secluded……..alone…….miserable…….."

She stopped talking…..

She covered her face with both her palm and stayed quiet for a brief moment and then she said….

"I was…….home alone that day……….and I had fainted……..I didn't even know for how long……..Nidhi found me unconscious when she came back home and rushed me to the hospital……..that's when I found out……I…….I…….was pregnant…."

"I……..I couldn't believe that I was actually pregnant. Our baby…….I had our baby…….I had our baby inside me…….."

She placed her palm on her belly, her emptiness…….

Her palm automatically turned in a fist which went on to clenching the sheet and she said "that was the only day when I actually picked up the phone to call……you."

"I wanted to call you that day. I had even dialed some numbers but just couldn't get myself to finish dialing. I didn't know what to tell you…..and how. I didn't even know how you would react to that. I didn't know anything. I didn't know if you still wanted me……..or the baby……..I was just so confused…….I really didn't know….."

She hugged her knees and rested her head on her knees and continued "that's when I told Nidhi about us……and she told me not to stress about it and told me that I didn't have to call you that very day…..I could call you whenever I felt more comfortable talking to you……..and before I could ever feel comfortable enough…….I…….I lost our baby………"

"I still don't know if our lives would have been different if I had called you that day. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if all this is my fault. It was just one call but I couldn't even get myself to do that. I didn't know anything that time…..about you…..about me…..about us…...All I knew that our baby was the only hope for me to start living again…….but even that was snatched from me…….the doctor told me that I was anemic and I had to be extra careful with my diet and my health. I tried. I really did. So did Nidhi. She always made sure that I took care of myself properly from eating properly to……all the doctor's appointments……..everything that I needed she always took care of me…..but…."

She closed her eyes again and spoke those unbearable words "I was still weak, very weak, I wasn't gaining any weight, one day……I got dizzy again……..and fainted because……..because of low blood pressure and weakness…….and I had a severe fall………down few flights of stairs…….Nidhi was home that time but by the time she was able to take me…..to the hospital………I was already bleeding gravely…….and………"

 

She just crashed herself on his chest and sobbed this time.

Hard.

Very hard.

Letting it all out…..

Once and for all………

 

And then it echoed……..

I am sorry.

 

Both apologized to each other, simultaneously.

Both held each other.

Both supported each other.

Both grieved over their loss, together.

 

After all these years………

 

 

Together.

 

Part D Continues……..

Edited by karmachameleon - 11 years ago

It all started with 300 Rupees

D

 

Maybe

 

He carefully laid her down on the pillow and rested himself next to her. He opened his palm for the last time and looked at the picture. She saw him do that. She placed her palm over that picture.

 

And there it was……

Their unborn child…..

Resting between those two palms…..

Palms of those two people who had created it……

With their love……..

Or not……..

 

A symbol of their unusual love……….

 

A symbol that never formed…….

Why?

Maybe it had its own reason…….

 

Maybe that wasn't the right time for that picture to turn into a colored photograph to adorn a frame in a home………

 

Maybe that tiny being refused to be a part of a broken home…….

 

Maybe that unborn being refused to stay with only one of its creator……..

 

Maybe that fuzzy thing in that glossy paper refused to see a world where there was so much pain…….even in love…….

 

Maybe that hard to make out form refused to be a part of deprived love…….

 

Maybe that unclear picture just wanted to wait for a better time to be a part of this world……

 

Maybe when both the palms were united……..

Maybe when both their love were united……….

Maybe when both their souls were united………

Maybe when both their lives were united……..

 

Maybe that's why!

 

They both remained quiet. Silently holding their loss for the first time, together…..

 

She turned over and rested her head on his arms and spoke in low voice…..

"Maybe that wasn't right time Arnav ji……."

 

He heard what she said. He turned to see her.

 

Her hopeful eyes.

Her optimistic eyes.

Her expectant eyes.

 

Those eyes conveyed enough hopes in his heart……..

Those eyes bore enough faith for their future…….

Those eyes assured him of something……….

 

He nestled her in-between his arms……..

Tightly………

And replied "Maybe……"

 

They laid there with all their pain, all their sorrows, all the cries, all the agony, all the hurt, all their loss……..

 

With so much anguish, they didn't even realize it was already that late……

Or that early…….

They both turned to see the dawn……..

Together…….

And watched the first ray of sun……

A ray of hope……

Entering her room…….

Entering their lives……..

 

Filling with light……

Filling with hope………

 

Welcoming them towards a new beginning…..

Promising them of a brighter future……

Giving them another chance…….

Together, yet again……….

 

To Be Continued……….

 

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Precap: I don't usually give precaps but I really want to this time. I don't like giving out anything at all,  I am sure you guys know it already but this time I want to. So here is the almost precap...

Happy Moments...

 

 

 

 

Edited by karmachameleon - 11 years ago

Karma...

I LOVED "Maybe"

Right from the title to what was inside it... I loved everything about "Maybe"...

I'm sorry I'm not in the right frame of mind to UNres the way I usually do..

I AM NOT DOING THIS TO IRK YOU. I know you love (or at least used to love) reading my long comments/unresses... But I JUST can't get myself to right anything right now...

You know what I feel about your writing...

I guess I'm having withdrawal symptoms...

Sorry

Later...

-Ananya
Edited by ananya123 - 11 years ago

Congrats on Thread 5...can't wait for the update...dying to read!!! :)

Amazing update...the pain of loosing your unborn child...tears...beautifully written KC...Loved it!!!...I m getting greedy...plz update soon!!! :)Edited by rainyday3000 - 11 years ago

Congratulations for new thread!

Really amazing update..
Each and every emotion described beautifully...
The way they their sorrow their loss was totally heartening...

congrats on thread 5