Posted: 06 November 2012 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by UMDU
Yesterday's episode got me thinking. Bhabo is extremely anxious to see Sandhya erase her dreams. She is fully aware that any hint of Sandhya's passion can get her son running. All her attempts to brainwash Sandhya according to her have failed,
when she sees the book in Sandhya's hands. She immediately asks her whether it is a fiction and when Sandhya says it is a subject book, her alarm bells get active She decides to do round 2 brainwashing
to completely do away with the problem . Sandhya voluntarily surrenders her books. Bhabo is not satisfied. Than Sandhya talks about the pen and expresses her reluctance to part with it. That gets Bhabo interested as she believes that is the key. Sandhya's reluctance makes her even more determined. This is what must be reminding my Beendani of her father and his dreams for her. If I take it away from her maybe she will stop dreaming. Out of sight out of mind principle. When people are desperate we often do things which are irrational. Many times I have seen students desperately praying to God for passing the exam even though they know their preparation is inadequate and they will not do well. Similarly when we come across zodiac sign predictions in the newspaper we glance through them knowing fully well they are not likely to play out.
. There are several such irrational behaviours which we do but cannot explain. Bhabo is no different. Taking away of the pen will not erase Sandhya's dreams but as they say in Hindi 'Dhoobte ko tinke ka sahara'.
Understand her psychology here. She truly believes she is acting in the interest of her son and Beendani. She is not doing anything which is morally or ethically wrong. She as an elder and a wiser person has to ensure they are together and happy in the future. She applies the same principle that I have been talking about.For a larger and long term good, small wrongs can be excused. She knows she is hurting Sandhya but in her mind they will appreciate her in future for having shown them the right path.
Sandhya has fought several battles outside the house including thwarting a terrorist attack but is unable to stand up for her rights at home WHY?
1. Her love for Suraj
2. Her fear of her parents being blamed if she walks out.
3. Her fear she should not be responsible for bringing a rift between the mother and son.
4. She does not want to burden her brother as she will be dependent on him if she walks out.
5.After the loss of her parents and betrayal by the brother she has come to love the Rathi family as her own. It is her safety net.
6.. It is very difficult for a small town girl to break away from the strangle hold of traditions as society does not take kindly to such rebellion and most women fear a backlash so they stay put and accept all the humiliation thrown in their direction. A totality of all the factors put together prevents Sandhya from breaking away.
The error which Suraj made was to venture into talking about the IPS dream immediately. He should have warmed up his mother to graduation and than talked about it later. The shock of IPS has made Bhabo's resistance twofold. It was a tactical error from his side so the battle will be even more fierce. His enlisting Ankur for the drama was the second mistake he made as Bhabo views it as a great Kothari conspiracy.
Now the only recourse left with Suraj is to make his intentions crystal clear before his mother without wavering .A confrontation cannot be avoided. The time for round table conference has long passed. If he stands tall and firm Bhabo will not be able to control him. The very fact she is not talking to him openly but is going through Sandhya reflects her fear over her inability to persuade him directly. They say hit the iron when it is hot. Now that Suraj knows, he should take advantage of the situation and fight back. His firmness will make the others in the family also realize they can't take him for granted. Chalo Suraj HALLA BOL !
Purrrfffect analysis and I agree with all that you have mentioned in this post and really want Suraj to take a firm unwavering stand with Sandhya as well as Bhabho and the rest of the family.
I dont like the way the siblings have been behaving - with rudeness towards Sandy and Suraj and speaking out of turn in a family conference esp by Chavvi...
Also Somebody besides Sandjhya needs to bring to the attention of Bhabho how badly behaved, irresponsible and thoughtless her other children have been and she needs to be told and shown how her upbringing has been faulty.
I am hoping somehow that Chavvi's in-laws somehow help in Bhabho's realisation of how lucky she is to have a Suraj and a Sandhya in her family as they are the only ones who are sensible in that entire family...
So coming to your post UMDU I want Suraj to take charge somehow and be focussed in his mission along with being respectful in his manner...