Did anyone grow up with abusive Indian parents ? (Page 6)

Hey Loving2011! I know I'm a little late to this thread and am not even sure you'll see this but I wanted to say I completely understand what you are talking about! I found this thread after searching the internet to see if other Indian children in the US also experienced abuse growing up. My mother was physically abusive to my sister and I and is still verbally and emotionally abuse to this day. She and my father also turned a blind eye when my older sister began to abuse me using the same tactics my mother employed. Much of my experience was very textbook but when I attempted to confront my mother and sister about it I was given a bunch of clichd excuses, the most common of which is that the abuse was cultural. That is why I took to the web to see if abuse was really prevalent among Indian parents to see if the culture theory had any weight. But yours is one of the only post or stories I have found that talk about abuse by Indian parents. More and more I see posts and articles about Indian parents who did not resort to violence or who were over controlling but not abusive. So thank you for saying something because this thread has been helpful in debunking part of the cultural use of abuse myth. Understanding that what happened was abuse and not culture has been vital to healing the damage that has collected over the past 20 years.

Well my mom keeps irritating me by calling me fat. Last week to such an extent that I broke down. I am 5'5 and 50 and that's ideal

I think there's different forms of abuse and pressure. Obviously sexual abuse and physical violence are pretty serious, but emotional abuse can really wreck a person over time, especially when they are young and facing it from their parents who are supposed to be on their side.

This is something small, but the other day I was at a gujju threading/waxing place in the suburbs that I always go to (the one that most women in my family and our social circle frequent) and there was a girl there who was really not much older than 13 or 14. Her mom had brought her there because she was "too hairy" and had "too many zits." I was just in shock as I heard this girl say this out loud to one of the staff. And looking at this girl and just her body language/general disposition, I could tell she had body image issues as well. I felt a little heartbroken.

I mean, I was also there for waxing and threading and all that shit too, and it's one of the contradictions in our lives about the annoying and painful things we do because of societal expectations despite knowing how stupid it all is. But it just drove me crazy the way this woman talked to her daughter. I've had to deal with scrutiny from female relatives a lot, but nothing that mean, and definitely not when I was that young.



Glad you broke the silence. And you're right, sometimes the most helpful thing is just to know you're not alone and you're not crazy for thinking that this was abuse.


Edited by --arti-- - 11 April 2013 at 3:40pm

I am sorry to hear about your situation. 


Edited by boreddamsel - 12 April 2013 at 9:38pm

Edited by moomin4455 - 12 April 2013 at 10:34pm

Edited by boreddamsel - 13 April 2013 at 8:04am