Originally posted by Loving2011
Please don't read if you're easily disturbed, offended or feel the need to present a morally superior image.
There was an old topic about whether Indian parenting is abusive or loving, which got closed. So, I'm posting this to ask if anyone has grown up in an abusive Indian household? By abuse, I'm not talking about the strict Indian parent that says to be home by 10 pm or to not wear mini-skirst. I'm talking about Indian parents that inflict sexual, emotional, verbal and physical abuse towards their kids. What is abuse? Abuse can be when your parent or another family member pressures you into having sex with them. Abuse can be when your parent is making critical comments that tear down your self-esteem, such as calling you stupid, fat or telling you that nobody likes you. Abuse can be when your parent isolates you or sabotages your independence as an adult, such as a parent being extremely controlling over your decisions, choices, feelings and thoughts.
I'm just curious to see if I'm the only Indian that has gone through this or if there is anyone else. I know this is a very tough topic for our culture to talk about, and I may be met with criticism or anger from other Indians. Some of you may feel that an abusive parent should be treated like a God and that women like me should just "shut up and put up." Sorry, but this philosophy isn't helpful in my life. I have achieved true happiness by moving out of my sexually and emotionally abusive home and living life as I please. :) I think adult survivors of abusive parents have the right to share their experiences, honor their true feelings, and protect themselves from their toxic families. If we can't take care of ourselves, who will?
@ RED: I am not clear why are you thinking that others will criticize the victim here. This is a serious issue where physical harm was involved. No way anyone is going to tell you that.
@ Green: You are just like any other person. You have every right to do what you did. Just because parents were involved does not make this issue any different. You took measures to protect yourseld like anyone else would have done in your or in another harmful situation.
@ Parents: They are the mos important people in lives of most of us. The reason is a) they gave us birth and b) more importantly they took care of us when we were vulnerable i.e. child. Mothers have slight edge as they go through a 9 month altered life style.
Now this respect is there because a and b are there. If b is not there and if anything there is abuse and physical harm then the respect goes away. Simple. A father abusing a daughter is not to be respected. It becomes a case of victim versus abuser.
No I have not even been slapped by either parent let along face such a situation. i dont know if I can see this world through your mindset. Maybe I am not serious here. However my point is you have done NOTHING wrong. The tone of your post should not be what it is. You did a good thing. You did best for yourself.
@ non physical harm. I have different feeling for situations like puting pressure on kids, slapping them once in a while or being rude etc. I think there we need to look for patterns. If there is too much of that then one can quietly move away from the scene when oppurtunity comes.