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Chandni Bar - Updated [Chapter 9, Page 20]

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Online kaamchorni

Senior Member

kaamchorni

Joined: 08 August 2011

Posts: 875

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
Hello, lovely fellow Arjun forum members.

I'm Zarin and up until now, I've more or less been a silent reader but today, I bring you my own little contribution - a short story based on the show. I hope you all enjoy it and thanks for stopping by.

P.S. Bear with me while I dole out my mandatory lines (please read in a menacing voice ;) ):
I must admit that I am something akin to a protective Mother Hen and - if I may be vain enough to assume that I will actually have readers - I will not at all take kindly to any or all parts of my work being reproduced without my express permission. Plagiarism of this (or any) story is forbidden. I have neither a blog nor another currently active account so if anyone does happen to see my work posted through anything but this account, I will be extremely grateful if you let me know.

Also, I'd like to add that this story
intentionally bears no resemblance to the movie of the same name.

Thank you once again :)

- Zarin





Edited by kaamchorni - 16 March 2013 at 9:17am

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Online kaamchorni

Senior Member

kaamchorni

Joined: 08 August 2011

Posts: 875

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 5:00pm | IP Logged

Chapter 1

 

Her abdominal muscles flexed with the beat and every eye in the field was fixed on her swaying hips. A fat man sitting on a charpai put a roll of paan in his mouth and the more rowdy members of the audience whistled as she began singing again.

 

"Haye...jisko sanam maan kar shab bhar mare
Woh kameena subah hote phurr ho gaya
Jisko mohabbat ka teacher kehte rahe
Woh phateecher ik lesson mein fail ho gaya..."    

 

They hid behind the bushes, squabbling quietly and observing the crowd.


"Move further, Riya." He bit out.


"I have! Do you want me to go right into the audience, Sir?" He glared at her before Shree cut in with a 'shush'.


She watched as the woman danced to the cheers of the repulsive audience. Biting back her own revulsion, she turned away to see Arjun rolling his eyes at the paunchy old men.


They remained quiet for a few moments, scouring the crowd for anything suspicious, before moving away into the night.

 

* * *

 

"Raute!" Sameer barked. "Will you be standing out there all night or do you plan on gracing us with your presence too?"


Arjun gave him a disdainful look but didn't bother replying. He stepped into the small shack they had secured for themselves and sat down on a bale of hay.


"Alright team, I suppose we're all up to date now. The investigation will start early tomorrow morning. We'll meet the owner of the Chandni Bar first and then go from there. Any questions?" Sameer watched as everyone shook their heads and he nodded. "Good. Now get some sleep. We will head out at the first sign of daylight."


Riya moved to a corner of the shack and began arranging the hay into a makeshift bed. Shree and Chotu collapsed where they had been standing and fell asleep almost instantaneously while Sameer went to the other corner and lay down. Arjun remained where he was and watched the others.


Almost an hour went by before they fell asleep and Arjun stood up soundlessly. He opened the door slightly before slipping out into the cold night. Checking that nobody had awoken, he shut the door.  


He didn't plan on waiting for daylight.



Edited by kaamchorni - 04 November 2012 at 4:20am

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Online ll-Shilpa-ll

Coolbie

ll-Shilpa-ll

Joined: 08 February 2010

Posts: 12123

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 5:41pm | IP Logged
Interesting start, continue soon.

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kaamchorni_mahi_

Idle VirmanArhi4ever

Senior Member

VirmanArhi4ever

Joined: 23 March 2012

Posts: 363

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 6:07pm | IP Logged
awesome start!!!!

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kaamchorni_mahi_

Online _mahi_

IF-Dazzler

_mahi_

Joined: 11 November 2007

Posts: 4342

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 6:13pm | IP Logged
this sounds so unique to me dearSmile
the title got me hooked to your story long before i finished reading the first chapterBig smile
something is up huh? Wink
can't wait till i read more of it
do continue soon!!!Embarrassed

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kaamchorni

Idle shah10

IF-Sizzlerz

shah10

Joined: 03 May 2010

Posts: 16980

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 8:15pm | IP Logged
Nice

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kaamchorni

Online Radhika Shah

IF-Sizzlerz

Radhika Shah

Joined: 22 May 2007

Posts: 11262

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 8:21pm | IP Logged
Nice..
Continue soon

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kaamchorni

Idle Krishnaluv94

IF-Rockerz

Krishnaluv94

Joined: 03 October 2010

Posts: 7389

Posted: 03 November 2012 at 8:33pm | IP Logged
What an awesome start! Can't wait to read more! :)

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kaamchorni

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